The Vend-o-mat 9000

[Ren Gaulen]

A Timber Wolf Clan Omnimech appears.

*inserts an armour-piercing round*

[Slowtini]

Natascha pops out. With the ability to slow down your enemies with every shot that hits, this gun's a real beaut'.

Use responsibly.

*inserts sandvich*

[techmaster-glitch]

The Heavy comes out, munching the sandvich gratefully, then punches out all your blood and breaks your spine for not inserting a coin.

*insert coin*

[Slowtini]

A medic pops out of the Vend-o-mat. BUT WAIT!
OH SHI- NO UBERBAR
You are promptly backstabbed.

*inserts coin*

[Ren Gaulen]

A blackjack club emerges, with "BONK!" written on it.

*inserts Fist of the North Star*

[e_voyager]

out pop Ken-oh intent on conquering this world.
insert coin

[Ren Gaulen]

Out pops a deliciously looking cake, but it disintegrates as soon as you touch it. A piece of paper with a word "LIE" is the only thing that is left.

*inserts the Matrix of Leadership*

[ShadesFox]

Out pops a receipt.  You are attacked by a cat who wants to play with it.

*inserts a shiny bottle cap*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 clunks and thunks for a while, then spits the shiny bottle cap back at you, with a flashing error message "Silver dubloons are only valid tender for pirates."


*inserts coin*

[Ren Gaulen]

Coin is ejected too, and the same error message appears.

*inserts a silver doubloon*

[ShadesFox]

The Vend-o-matic 9000 spits out the silver doubloon with an error message, "Silver doubloons are not valid tender for commisars."

*Inserts a US dollar coin*

[e_voyager]

out pops a dirty looking wig.

insert taco

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Out pops a stomachache.

*inserts a pink floyd album*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses the dark side of the moon.

*inserts coin*

[Mao]

The Vend-o-mat dispenses a dvd copy of The Wizard of Oz to accompany the dark side of the moon.

*inserts a coin*

[ShadesFox]

The Vend-o-mat spits out a spear, stabbing your icon in the eye.

*inserts a coin*

[Cogidubnus]

It produces a BOOT TO THE HEAD!

*inserts Tai-Kwon Leap*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses a leap year.


*inserts coin*

[e_voyager]

Vend-o-mat 9000 starts to play the timewarp

insert coin

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

The Vend-O-Mat 9000 dispenses a copy of H.G. Wells  The Time Machine


*inserts festering pile of sewage*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 refuses to accept Harry Potter as legal tender, and dumps it back on your feet.


*inserts coin*

[e_voyager]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 a lock of otters hair.

insert fish

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses a bathtub full of brightly coloured machine tools, while you hold the giraffe.


*inserts banana*

[Cogidubnus]

It goes, "ring ring ring ring ring ring".

And then produces a banana phone. It makes a small, victorious noise.

*inserts the G-man*

[e_voyager]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses a pair of brightly colored boxers.

insert lasagna  

[Slowtini]

A rather content looking orange cat pops out of the Vend-o-mat, burps contently, and waddles off into the distance.


*inserts Lemon-Lime Gatorade*

[Ren Gaulen]

Agent Gunther Hermann appears out of the Vend-O-Mat and sets you on fire with a flamethrower for failing to provide him with Oranj.

*inserts a bio-electric cell*

[Slowtini]

EVE pops out. Now, if only you had enough Adam for that plasmid >:


*inserts Big Daddy outfit*

[Janus Whitefurr]

A larynx-adjustment tool erupts from the Vend-O-Mat and does horrible things to your throat.

*inserts gold-coated chocolate coin*

[e_voyager]

Easter eggs pop out burying you.

insert phoenix feather.