If only the sun would set on the Twilight series...

Started by Alondro, November 23, 2009, 09:38:13 PM

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Alondro

But with $142 million for "New Moon" on its opening weekend, I fear we shall suffer the torment of being subjected to the Mary-Sue angst-fest and screaming, swoony fan girls forever.

And the movie was bad.  It was just... bad.  I can make a movie that bad too!  Why won't people give me $142 million?  (they can keep the stupid fan girls)

There is no hope...  :redrum
Three's a crowd:  One lordly leonine of the Leyjon, one cruel and cunning cubi goddess, and one utterly doomed human stuck between them.

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Kenji

To be honest, the only thing I could stand to do without in this series is that horrible HORRIBLE actress they got to play the female lead.
I used to sell the books. I saw the fans. I was forced to see the movie. Yet the only thing I can't stand is that acting.

Cvstos

I have not seen or read anything from this series. But I have to hear about it from rabid fangirls at work (I work at a video game store). And I smile and nod and slowly weep for humanity. This time around, Alondro and I are in total agreement. It makes me sick knowing just how much money this is making off of these people, and I'm not the one profiting from it!!
"The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them." - Albert Einstein

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence." -Albert Einstein

Alondro

I did think of one way to profit AND mock it at the same time!

Sell packets of glitter on Ebay as "Instant Twilight Powder!  Just one application will turn you into a sparkly vampire in sunlight!  Just like Edward!"

>:3
Three's a crowd:  One lordly leonine of the Leyjon, one cruel and cunning cubi goddess, and one utterly doomed human stuck between them.

http://www.furfire.org/art/yapcharli2.gif

Turnsky

Quote from: Alondro on November 24, 2009, 12:08:26 AM
I did think of one way to profit AND mock it at the same time!

Sell packets of glitter on Ebay as "Instant Twilight Powder!  Just one application will turn you into a sparkly vampire in sunlight!  Just like Edward!"

>:3


Vampires in general have had a long and sordid path in the popular view, from dracula to nosferatu, to Rice, to WoD, to Whedon, and then finally to these pathetic attempts..


you know werewolves will be next.  :<

Dragons, it's what's for dinner... with gravy and potatoes, YUM!
Sparta? no, you should've taken that right at albuquerque..

Sofox

Guys, one thing you have to realise... There are a ton of badly written books out there yet for some reason this was more successful. It wasn't random chance, there was something about the book and how it was written that appealed to a lot of people. Think about that.

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Turnsky

Quote from: Sofox on November 24, 2009, 04:56:04 AM
Guys, one thing you have to realise... There are a ton of badly written books out there yet for some reason this was more successful. It wasn't random chance, there was something about the book and how it was written that appealed to a lot of people. Think about that.

it's a glorified fanfic. 'nuff said.  >:3

Dragons, it's what's for dinner... with gravy and potatoes, YUM!
Sparta? no, you should've taken that right at albuquerque..

rabid_fox


Oh dear.

Vidar

Quote from: Sofox on November 24, 2009, 04:56:04 AM
Guys, one thing you have to realise... There are a ton of badly written books out there yet for some reason this was more successful.

Yeah, marketing.

There's much better stuff out there, but it doesn't get marketed, because the marketers can't figure out to what focus groups to peddle the stuff to. Mary Sue/vampire stuff that 8-year old girls like is much easier to market due to its simplistic nature.
</cynical bastard>
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Lysander

I plan on reading the books someday, but I must say New Moon is awesome (watched it last night). Tackle hug for the freakin' win.   :januscat
TytajLucheek

Sunblink

I feel very, very bad for Robert Pattinson. He wants out of the film production for good but can't due to his contract obligations. Considering the fact he thinks the series is rubbish and is constantly being harassed by rabid Twilight fans for one reason or another, he's in a real bad position.

Poor guy. I liked him in Goblet of Fire. :<

Chalk me down as another person who hates the series. As a fun fact, my parents watched the movie because they apparently had nothing better to do, and once it was over I asked my mom if she liked it. She said it was okay, but asked, "What was up with the sparkles?" I couldn't stop laughing.

bradypodidae

For once it seems I should count myself lucky for not having a clue about what you all are talking about.
Heroic adventuring at the speed of slow.
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Not a complete idiot, parts missing.

Dropping Proeliator from the name was way overdue.

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Janus Whitefurr

Quote from: Keaton the Black Jackal on November 24, 2009, 09:38:53 AM
I feel very, very bad for Robert Pattinson. He wants out of the film production for good but can't due to his contract obligations. Considering the fact he thinks the series is rubbish and is constantly being harassed by rabid Twilight fans for one reason or another, he's in a real bad position.

I still loved reading that one quote from around the time of the first movie, where his interpretation of Edward is described as a century-old awkward pubescent virgin with issues (roughly paraphrased). The fan harassment on the other hand is just... y'know... creepy. A shame he can't get out of it.
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superluser

Quote from: proeliator bradypodidae on November 24, 2009, 09:50:32 AMFor once it seems I should count myself lucky for not having a clue about what you all are talking about.

I know what they're talking about, but I choose to pretend I don't.

I, too, am happy.


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Kafzeil

Quote from: Sofox on November 24, 2009, 04:56:04 AM
Guys, one thing you have to realise... There are a ton of badly written books out there yet for some reason this was more successful. It wasn't random chance, there was something about the book and how it was written that appealed to a lot of people. Think about that.

That hardly makes things better. Hell, if anything, it makes it worse...find the right demograph, and no matter how poorly you do, you'll get a movie deal. Do it for the art, and you'll get hosed.

As for Kristen Stewart...well, like Patterison, she really hates the series, and consideirng she's playing a generic Anti-Sue, one can hardly blame her for her acting ability here. Hell, maybe she'e trying to act badly so she can get fired.
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Kenji

Quote from: Kafzeil on November 24, 2009, 03:20:02 PM
As for Kristen Stewart...well, like Patterison, she really hates the series, and consideirng she's playing a generic Anti-Sue, one can hardly blame her for her acting ability here. Hell, maybe she'e trying to act badly so she can get fired.

The guy who plays Edward also hates his character more and more each scene he films.

Lushin

Stephen was quoted as saying he hated the series and thought it basically crapped on all the vampire history. At least most people who write something about Vampires keep the same general writing. Also they did screw with Werewolves. Just in New Moon the are called "shapeshifters". Just watching commercials for it annoys me. I mean I thought Harry Potter was bad (if not to mention a rip off of a series called Books of Magic). I think most of the cast of that series doesn't even like their character.
/happiness.exe
Command failure: Command unkown

Failure. Abort. Retry. Fail.

Sofox

Daimien: You could say Harry Potter rips off numerous things, the fact it uses many generic elements isn't even up for debate. More how it comes together.

And I think you guys missed my point, I haven't read Twilight, but I believe there must be something about it that other writers have a hard time replicating. It has frequently happened that something "bad" just has that something about it that appeals to various people. I think it would be more useful to understand what it is then just lambaste the series as a whole.

Destina Faroda

I'm of mixed minds of this success.

On one hand, I hate Twilight simply from the first movie.   That film was awful beyond belief.  I would rather watch Dragonball: Evolution again rather than Twilight.

On the other hand, for the actors involved, this is giving them the biggest breaks many of them will ever get in their careers.  Acting, as well as any other career in Hollywood, is a cut-throat, dog eat dog business.  As much as I want it to fail, for the actors' sake's, I hope it succeeds, for a variety of reasons that I can't get into.

On my third hand at the bottom of my leg, I have to admit I do have a bit of jealousy toward the author.  Once upon a time I had started writing a novel that featured tertiary characters with similarities to those of Twilight (before the franchise was even born), and now if I ever got around to finishing the novel, everyone would say that part is a ripoff of Twilight.  So I want it to fail.

On the fourth hand at the bottom of my other leg, I want it to succeed because hopefully, it will knock Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen from its perch.  I haven't seen Revenge of the Fallen, but I heard it was terrible.  I don't know if this movie is more terrible than that one, but in a battle between fantastic creatures and giant robots, my sympathy lies toward the supernatural.

And I'm all out of hands.
Sig coming...whenever...

Lushin

If you've ever read the books I mentioned you'll see why I call it a rip off.
It's not other writers having a hard time replicating the writing style. It just seems the writer needs a history lesson in bot vampires and werewolves. It just seems the writer didn't like how people where seeing vampires and werewolves and decided to put them in their own light. Which annoys alot of people. It seems they have turned their backs on what has been written and act like it never happened. I mean making vampires sparkle and vampires out in the daylight? The fact vampires couldn't be out in sun light gave them a romantic quality. What they are calling vampires is a joke. I'm sure Bram Stroker is turning over in his grave with this fanfic turned book turned movie.
/happiness.exe
Command failure: Command unkown

Failure. Abort. Retry. Fail.

Janus Whitefurr

#22
Quote from: Destina Faroda on November 24, 2009, 09:24:46 PM
On the fourth hand at the bottom of my other leg, I want it to succeed because hopefully, it will knock Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen from its perch.  I haven't seen Revenge of the Fallen, but I heard it was terrible.  I don't know if this movie is more terrible than that one, but in a battle between fantastic creatures and giant robots, my sympathy lies toward the supernatural.

Giant robots > the supernatural. Just to be the other side of the proverbial coin. I'd take the RotF actionfest over the drama-romance of Twilight anyday.

Also, Peter Cullen's Optimus Prime Voice.
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Brunhidden

i have nothing against vampires

i have nothing against romance novels

i have nothing against almost anything related to twilight except...


its the word equivalent of stick figures.


Jack London was an illiterate dock worker who taught himself  to read and write by going to a library on his off hours and eventually became the highest paid author in history (until JK Rowling took the title) with books like white fang and call of the wild. i may not really give a rats ass about those books but the point is he was able to write impressively well despite his background and his works lasted decades longer then his own life. i see twilight as being similar to harry potter in that someone decided that instead of writing a book to be a good book or even just to tell a story they write a book to follow a formula for popularity by appealing to the popular trends in the lowest common denominators of frustrated adolescents and angsty teens.

im not bashing the concept of a housewife writing a novel and it getting popular, but i truly believe that only books worth reading should be published, they let too much tripe through as it is. i am not surprised at all it got made into a movie, new moon seems to be revolving entirely on the concept of shirtless teens acting tough and that seems normal in a sickening way
Some will fall in love with life,
and drink it from a fountain;
that is pouring like an avalanche,
coming down the mountain.

Alondro

Quote from: Destina Faroda on November 24, 2009, 09:24:46 PM
As much as I want it to fail, for the actors' sake's, I hope it succeeds, for a variety of reasons that I can't get into.

*reads too much into this*  YOU MUST BE THE EDWARD GUY!!!  OMG I LURV U AND WONT 2 HAV UR CHILDREN!!!  *obsessive fanboi/girl/thing stalk-hug-crush attack!*   :kruger
Three's a crowd:  One lordly leonine of the Leyjon, one cruel and cunning cubi goddess, and one utterly doomed human stuck between them.

http://www.furfire.org/art/yapcharli2.gif

Darkmoon

In Brightest Day. In Blackest Night...

Caswin

#26
I thought the movie was mediocre, and could eventually only enjoy it by reading it as a character study of a teenage girl driven beyond rationality by her hormones.  If I ever see it again, I don't care what context it is, in the scene where Bella decides to follow Edward into the forest, I'm going to jump up and shout, "NO!  YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY!" (Point to the books: According to a friend of mine who is a fan, they don't have Bella keeping mum about a major lead on the murders taking place in her hometown, then one-upping herself by walking into a forest alone with a vampire.)

I haven't read the books, but I once skimmed a copy in Meijer.  It was enough to get a handle on both one of the series' selling points and one of its most disturbing aspects: Bella's "love" for Edward.  It's hormonal infatuation taken a notch beyond the norm, described paragraph after paragraph by an author who believes that's how True Love works.  And, of course, it will never, ever burn out, just like Bella can never, ever, ever even consider being parted from Edward because she loves him. (Why does she love him?  LOVE.  THAT'S WHY.  DON'T ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS.) This sort of "absolute" is attractive (not to mention being much easier to read as "perfect"), especially to Twilight's target audience.  It also has precedent, but:
1. This level of it is rare.  Pick up one of the books and find a part where Bella is thinking about how much she LOVES and NEEDS Edward and you'll see what I mean.
2. You've probably seen something like it in the movies, but even a good actor can't convey just what's going on in their head the way elaborate literary description can.
-2.5. Likewise, even a handsome actor can't match the Edward Cullen of readers' imaginations and Meyer's purple praise.  HE IS SOOO HOT.
3. When it does show up in romance novels, this tends to lead to sex scenes that (ideally) limit their audience to adults inside of a hundred pages.  Twilight is somewhat unique, even commendable for not having its lead couple jump into bed the moment they decide they like each other -- but this also solidifies it as a "young adult" series of books, where all of the above factors are presented to the impressionable teenybopper crowd.
4. Finally, to quote a cousin of mine, "It's a love story, WITH A TWIST!" :eek

That twist, of course, is vampires who sparkle in the sunlight.

So... TRUST YOUR HORMONES AND KICK REASON TO THE CURB!  THAT'S THE CULLEN-SWAN WAY!
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MT Hazard

#27
This comic shows almost exactly what I think of sparkly vampires

In fact a few years back I wanted to write a book Vampires and werewolves in an attempt to save them from what popular culture has done to them, to make them monsters to be feared again. Unfortunately Underworld came out shortly after I started and I ended up getting disillusioned with the concept.
Grammar and I Don't always get on.

Link of the moment:  Sleepless domain (web comic) 

Alondro

Three's a crowd:  One lordly leonine of the Leyjon, one cruel and cunning cubi goddess, and one utterly doomed human stuck between them.

http://www.furfire.org/art/yapcharli2.gif

Brunhidden

Some will fall in love with life,
and drink it from a fountain;
that is pouring like an avalanche,
coming down the mountain.