Bad movies of 2008

[GabrielsThoughts]

In my opinion, these are the worst movies of 2008. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and are asked to also post their opinions and top five list of bad movies this year. The bad movies are posted in order of their horribleness with 1 being the worst and 5 being tolerable. feel free to include your nominations for the worst movies made in this year or any other.



1. Blindness...
An English speaking Colony, which is clearly  not part the United States, yet wants to pretend it's the US, possibly Canada or some other unidentified English colony like Australia,  has all the blind people rounded up and thrown into concentration camps.  While in the concentration camps the people become mentally retarded, because that's just  what you expect to  happen when you go blind, illustrated by the fact that these people can't wipe their own ass without the  ability to see.  The movie then finds a way to promote socialism while demonizing capitalism...no surprise there.  The movie also explores and justifies adultery, rape , murder , and communism. I hate this movie. Seriously, it's quite possibly  the worst movie ever made. It makes  the 2006 Wickerman  seem awesome by comparison. The actors performed wonderfully, it was just a shame that it was such a horrible story.   

2. Wanted...
Hollywood's  attempt at combining Fight Club with Office Space (and possibly tomb raider and mission impossible). A horrible movie, wherein a stupid, whiny accountant becomes a revenge driven assassin, justified by fate. Where it fails is the lack of identification with the lead character. Furthermore,  there is an underlying  message in the film that your father is what makes you great.  you know there's a  serious problem when  the lead character is a masochist. The movie drags particularly when this puke willingly gets the shit beaten out of him, and fails to learn from his mistakes. Unlike Fight Club or Office space , this revenge driven thriller has no redemption of character, which is further illustrated by the film's conclusion , wherein he gets even , one last time, with the people who he allowed to ruin his life. Thus illustrating the characters lack of growth, he began the movie as a whiny little puke, and ended the movie as a whiny little puke who can kill people. I'm not even going to discuss the Pointless "I'm Sorry" car flips in the movie since it was just so horribly bad.

3. Twilight...
I haven't seen this one...or maybe I have, based on  the trailer alone, this movie is an attempt to cash in on every vampire movie, and television series ever made...and then there was the whole Spiderman feel to the movie trailer, as if they were trying to cash in on that franchise as well.



4. Meet Dave...
They could have done a better job with this one , but it was just a little  better than Wanted . Aliens come to earth after watching a clip of James bond. Which was the only transmission their planet received from Earth 28 years ago.  With a plan to steal the Earth's vast oceans a very inspector Clouseau   "Dave Ming Chang " (a human form space craft piloted by an army of booger sized aliens) comes to earth to relocate their galactic super sponge. After coming to earth the aliens learn about human emotions, and explore their sexuality.  Sadly, the best jokes in the whole film were the reference to It's a wonderful life, Dave pooping while standing upright, and scarily enough money coming out of his butt. Eventually, Dave risks his life, and the life of his crew  to save the people of Earth. To give you an idea of how horrible the movie is there is a scene were Dave has his number 2 locked in the butt (instead of the brig). Also, when Dave substitutes one of the student's calls himself see my butt crack, Dave then continues to refer to the boy as  See-My  for the rest of the film.

5. Wall-E...
Where to begin. I couldn't identify with the lead character, and for some indefinable reason  I refuse to believe a planet whose surface is 78% liquid could turn into a barren wasteland. That aside Wall-E brings to mind other science fiction movies, namely metropolis, short circuit, and 2001: a space odyssey. While Wall-E looks pretty cool, it is essentially  The Dark Crystal wherein imagery looks cool but the story falls short. I like puzzles, and I really like movies where I can't figure out the ending within the first fifteen to twenty minutes. The fact that the movie had to let you know Wall-E and his girlfriend were dancing was particularly insulting.  Wall-E has a certain "Fire Marshall Bill" quality to it that will make it campy, but I just didn't like it.   

[Jack McSlay]

don't know about the wall-e movie, but I find interesting that they advertise it's toyline as if there's a lot of kids who would like to play with blocky robots instead of transformers toys

[Cogidubnus]

An American Carol kinda sucked too.

[Lisky]

... Deathrace...

Lets drive cars with machine guns and rockets on them in an epic movie that shows how awesome these cars would be while ignoring some extremely basic laws of physics...

[Sunblink]

5. Wall-E...
Where to begin. I couldn't identify with the lead character, and for some indefinable reason  I refuse to believe a planet whose surface is 78% liquid could turn into a barren wasteland. That aside Wall-E brings to mind other science fiction movies, namely metropolis, short circuit, and 2001: a space odyssey. While Wall-E looks pretty cool, it is essentially  The Dark Crystal wherein imagery looks cool but the story falls short. I like puzzles, and I really like movies where I can't figure out the ending within the first fifteen to twenty minutes. The fact that the movie had to let you know Wall-E and his girlfriend were dancing was particularly insulting.  Wall-E has a certain "Fire Marshall Bill" quality to it that will make it campy, but I just didn't like it.   

This is where I disagree. I loved Wall-E and thought it was extremely charming. Actually, I whimpered like a child near the ending. Because I am a pussy and I have a soft spot for robotic romance, I guess. Eve and Wall-E had better chemistry than some human couples in other movies in my opinion. But honestly I love Pixar movies in general.

But if you didn't like Wall-E and you like movies that are like puzzles, I recommend Memento as an antidote. It punched my lights out; it was that incredible.

I haven't really seen any bad 2008 movies, but I'd say that Meet the Spartans qualifies for grade-A bullshit. I hadn't seen that movie but I'm confident that it was nothing but tripe from start to finish.

An American Carol looks bad too, but honestly I'm just tired of the "Michael Moore is unpatriotic" diatribe.

[Angel]

  I thought Wall-E was one of the better animated films of the past few years... I also thought Wanted was really cool, but then I'm a sucker for superpowered assassins and Morgan Freeman.

Anyways. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that direct-to-video movies are a given and therefore don't count. This is gonna be a little tough,because I only go to movies if I think I'll like them, and I haven't seen any I hated recently. But I digress.

Beverly Hills Chihuahua. I didn't see it. The trailer was quite enough. Oh, Drew Barrymore, what happened to your career?

Space Chimps. Another one I have to hate on principle. It's probably a great kid's movie, but I wouldn't see it if you paid me.

X-Files: I Want To Believe. I'll be the first to admit I didn't hate this movie, but it could have been way better. It felt sort of like a very long, but decent, version of the TV show. This one is really only on here because it pales in comparison to the good movies of this year.

[Sunblink]

Space Chimps. Another one I have to hate on principle. It's probably a great kid's movie, but I wouldn't see it if you paid me.

BUH. Oh god how could I forget this one. Honestly, Blackie, from what I heard, it isn't even a good kid's movie.

[Yugo]

I'm in the same boat as Keaton, I loved Wall-E, and I usually don't go out and see Pixar movies. Really, those are the kinds of movies where I have to suspend all disbelief and just enjoy the movie. Well, that and I'm a wuss and like romance, even robot romance.

Pretty much every parody movie this year has been "oh mah god stop making these movies" for me. I'm pretty sure everybody wants to gag a little when they hear Meet the Spartans.

I went in really wanting to like Speed Racer, but it ended up being a flashy seizure-fest. Oh Wachowski Brothers, where are you now?

[Angel]

Space Chimps. Another one I have to hate on principle. It's probably a great kid's movie, but I wouldn't see it if you paid me.

BUH. Oh god how could I forget this one. Honestly, Blackie, from what I heard, it isn't even a good kid's movie.

I figured as much. From what I hear, most kid's movies this year sucked. Fly Me to the Moon looked terrible as well, but reviews said it was pretty much what you'd expect - a cutesy kid's movie that adults were not meant to enjoy.

[superluser]

An American Carol kinda sucked too.

No kinda about it.

[bill]

A more interesting argument would be if American Carol was worse than Expelled.

[ShadesFox]

A more interesting argument would be if American Carol was worse than Expelled.

I don't know, Expelled has the advantage of the meta-movie events.  Like how Richard Dawkins snuck into the initial screening.

[Darkmoon]

The Day the Earth Stood Still: The Earth standing still is supposed to describe the reactions of the people on Earth (shock and awe), and not accurately describe the films (lack of) forward momentum. It's... just... so... boring. The first 15 minutes are decent (if not entirely necessary), and we get to see a few cool and thrilling sequences.

But then Keanlaatu goes on a road trip with two Earthlings, and it's about as thrilling as a ride in the car (not at all). So boring.

By the end, the Earth was saved, but I'd stopped caring 20 minutes earlier.

[thegayhare]

The Day the Earth Stood Still:

I haven't seen it but just from the previews I want to weep for the lagacy of my favorite classic science fiction movie

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Space Chimps. Another one I have to hate on principle. It's probably a great kid's movie, but I wouldn't see it if you paid me.

BUH. Oh god how could I forget this one. Honestly, Blackie, from what I heard, it isn't even a good kid's movie.

Interesting. I thought it was... better than the previews made it look. Not great, by any means, but not terribly horrible.

Had some good points in it, but overall, it about met the Disney reaction to Pixar movie, Space Chimps to Wall-E.

So, yeah. Nice way to pass some time, but don't go out of your way to watch it.

[Aisha deCabre]

I'm afraid I'm going to have to join the boat of people who thought Wall-E was good.  While I stand in quite a bit of judgment now over the many computer-animated movies made with more humor and less story (in fact that one coming up, the Monsters Vs. Aliens or whatever the hell it is, looks like it goes right over the line), I admit that it was well-done.

Also, that over 78% water?  Yeah, that's salt water.  Nobody on land can drink it; it DEHYDRATES a ton more than it rehydrates; and also, they focused on one point of the planet most of the time anyway.  

But I digress, back to the topic; I haven't seen very many bad movies in 2008 per se, as we couldn't really afford to -go- to the movies. ^^;

"Momma Mia" I thought was a bit cheesy though; some musicals have that quality, but this was cheesy for a movie, and probably also because it appealed to the ABBA generation.

[Colgatecrusader]

shame. SHAME! Wal-E was one of the greater movies of the year, along with dark knight. I'm surprised however high school musical-3 didn't make it's way onto that list of yours.

[Angel]

shame. SHAME! Wal-E was one of the greater movies of the year, along with dark knight. I'm surprised however high school musical-3 didn't make it's way onto that list of yours.

Meh. HSM3 had the balls to be released in theaters, at the very least, and anything would be better than HSM2. And the music sounded kinda catchy in the trailer. It didn't look like a COMPLETE failure. What bothers me about High School Musical is the way everyone over-hypes it to the point where you'd rather drill a hole in your head than hear about it anymore, much less admit that when it first came out, you liked it. Just to slip in the Family Guy reference, let's call this Barry Manilow syndrome.

[Alondro]

I loved Wall-E and thought it was extremely charming. Actually, I whimpered like a child near the ending. Because I am a pussy and I have a soft spot for robotic romance, I guess. Eve and Wall-E had better chemistry than some human couples in other movies in my opinion.

*Charles smiles in a manner most disturbing*  Now to commission a picture of both robots being disassembled while still 'alive'.  I shall title it "Hostel-E".   

Let me see, worst movies... I certainly agree with most of the list.  Wall-E I'm simply not interested in.  But this year certainly had a huge pick of awful movies.  Not just bad, but utter crap.

One recent example is an independent CGI film called "Delgo".  It steals from pretty much everything from other sci-fi movies and both looks bad and sounds bad.  Plus it got dismal reviews.  I read the plot summary... it sounds like a bad attempt at kid-friendly fan-fiction.  I've seen dozens of Flash animations on Newgrounds somebody made for nothing in their spare time with more creativity and cleverness than this regurgitated refuse.  Heck, Super Mario Brothers-Z is an absurd sprite-based flash with a silly plot... and it's STILL more entertaining!

"Eagle Eye".  Same kinda deal.  Steals most of the story from other movies and puts all the pieces together wrong.

"Igor".  Just, bleah.  Bleah.

"Max Payne".  It's a video-game-based movie.  Given the history of game-based movies, need I even bother to note how aweful it is?

"Punisher:  War Zone".  More reasons to stop making Punisher movies.

"Saw V".  More mindless torture porn.  Now if it were furry vore porn...  mmmm..  tasty!   On nom nom. 

"The Day the Earth Stood Still".  It sucks ballz!  They have raped a classic!  RAPED AND MUTILATED... probably by Jigsaw from the above film.  Never mind that in the original, the aliens didn't really care if we blew ourselves up, they just wanted to make sure we couldn't get off our planet and do the same to them.  Now, the aliens are concerned about Earth's environment...  WTF?!  Aliens have a whole lot better things to do with their time.  And if they actually did give a crap, they could just EMP pulse our machines to uselessness, take whatever animals and plants they wanted, then leave us to wallow around helplessly.  Leaving us without TV or Internet would lead to mass-suicide anyway.     As one critic said (which made me LOL), "Klaatu is an alien who speaks little and has almost no emotion.  I believe Keanu Reeves has found his ideal role."   
Let's put it another way.  Critics liked "Twilight" more.  Nuff said.

"Speed Racer".  Ok, really.  Did anyone actually think this would make a good movie?  Seriously?

And a list of others that sucked:  The Love Guru, Untraceable, Leatherheads, Jumper, Street Kings (Keanu Reeves again!), Death Race... and I can't remember all the rest.

There were just so many... so many... 

[Angel]

"Saw V".  More mindless torture porn.  Now if it were [PORN FROM HELL]...  mmmm..  tasty!   On nom nom. 

The last time that was brought up, a thread got locked... but that would be an....interesting movie. I can't decide whether I'd see it or not. It would be like the "2 Girls 1 Cup" of the furry world if that was ever made into a movie.

...Actually, Porn from Hell sounds kinda like a movie title by itself...

[Lisky]

how could people not mention Quantum of Solace? as a movie it was alright, but it pretty much butchered the James Bondiness that we expect, opening scene pretty awesome, then the movie goes downhill from there

[bill]

I loved Wall-E and thought it was extremely charming. Actually, I whimpered like a child near the ending. Because I am a pussy and I have a soft spot for robotic romance, I guess. Eve and Wall-E had better chemistry than some human couples in other movies in my opinion.

*Charles smiles in a manner most disturbing*  Now to commission a picture of both robots being disassembled while still 'alive'.  I shall title it "Hostel-E".   

Let me see, worst movies... I certainly agree with most of the list.  Wall-E I'm simply not interested in.  But this year certainly had a huge pick of awful movies.  Not just bad, but utter crap.

One recent example is an independent CGI film called "Delgo".  It steals from pretty much everything from other sci-fi movies and both looks bad and sounds bad.  Plus it got dismal reviews.  I read the plot summary... it sounds like a bad attempt at kid-friendly fan-fiction.  I've seen dozens of Flash animations on Newgrounds somebody made for nothing in their spare time with more creativity and cleverness than this regurgitated refuse.  Heck, Super Mario Brothers-Z is an absurd sprite-based flash with a silly plot... and it's STILL more entertaining!

"Eagle Eye".  Same kinda deal.  Steals most of the story from other movies and puts all the pieces together wrong.

"Igor".  Just, bleah.  Bleah.

"Max Payne".  It's a video-game-based movie.  Given the history of game-based movies, need I even bother to note how aweful it is?

"Punisher:  War Zone".  More reasons to stop making Punisher movies.

"Saw V".  More mindless torture porn.  Now if it were furry vore porn...  mmmm..  tasty!   On nom nom. 

"The Day the Earth Stood Still".  It sucks ballz!  They have raped a classic!  RAPED AND MUTILATED... probably by Jigsaw from the above film.  Never mind that in the original, the aliens didn't really care if we blew ourselves up, they just wanted to make sure we couldn't get off our planet and do the same to them.  Now, the aliens are concerned about Earth's environment...  WTF?!  Aliens have a whole lot better things to do with their time.  And if they actually did give a crap, they could just EMP pulse our machines to uselessness, take whatever animals and plants they wanted, then leave us to wallow around helplessly.  Leaving us without TV or Internet would lead to mass-suicide anyway.     As one critic said (which made me LOL), "Klaatu is an alien who speaks little and has almost no emotion.  I believe Keanu Reeves has found his ideal role."   
Let's put it another way.  Critics liked "Twilight" more.  Nuff said.

"Speed Racer".  Ok, really.  Did anyone actually think this would make a good movie?  Seriously?

And a list of others that sucked:  The Love Guru, Untraceable, Leatherheads, Jumper, Street Kings (Keanu Reeves again!), Death Race... and I can't remember all the rest.

There were just so many... so many... 

So do you like see every movie that comes out or something, because you sure spend a lot on bad movies.

[Janus Whitefurr]

"Max Payne".  It's a video-game-based movie.  Given the history of game-based movies, need I even bother to note how aweful it is?

Objection! It was a perfectly acceptable brainless action flick if you'd never played the game, like me. Not original, no, and not in any respect about to blow anyone out of the water with its greatness. But it's a perfectly serviceable film.

Not everything needs to be high art.

[Sunblink]

I loved Wall-E and thought it was extremely charming. Actually, I whimpered like a child near the ending. Because I am a pussy and I have a soft spot for robotic romance, I guess. Eve and Wall-E had better chemistry than some human couples in other movies in my opinion.

*Charles smiles in a manner most disturbing*  Now to commission a picture of both robots being disassembled while still 'alive'.  I shall title it "Hostel-E".   

NOOOO! Don't kill the robots, Charles!

Although yeah, Saw V belongs on the list. I'm kind of tired of all the sequels, but they're not going to stop making them any time soon because of how profitable the individual movies are. Since the budget of the movie averages 2 million and they make ten times that amount at the box office, they're a movie-maker's dream. I can anticipate seeing a Saw X at the box office four years from now.

It's the Land Before Time of horror movies!

[Mao]

Pff 4 years Keats?  I suspect we'll see it within two years at most.  They crank those things out like mad. 

[Tapewolf]

Do they ever do remakes of sequels?

[Sofox]

Do they ever do remakes of sequels?

Please Tape, Hollywood is listening.

[Tapewolf]

Please Tape, Hollywood is listening.

Please do something decent like adapting Against a Dark Background, or Fire upon the Deep...
Heck, The Cosmic Charge Account would rock.

[Alondro]

Maybe they can remake "Plan 9 From Outer Space".   And they'd still manage to do a worse job than the original.   

[Angel]

I loved Wall-E and thought it was extremely charming. Actually, I whimpered like a child near the ending. Because I am a pussy and I have a soft spot for robotic romance, I guess. Eve and Wall-E had better chemistry than some human couples in other movies in my opinion.

*Charles smiles in a manner most disturbing*  Now to commission a picture of both robots being disassembled while still 'alive'.  I shall title it "Hostel-E".   

NOOOO! Don't kill the robots, Charles!

Although yeah, Saw V belongs on the list. I'm kind of tired of all the sequels, but they're not going to stop making them any time soon because of how profitable the individual movies are. Since the budget of the movie averages 2 million and they make ten times that amount at the box office, they're a movie-maker's dream. I can anticipate seeing a Saw X at the box office four years from now.

It's the Land Before Time of horror movies!

Actually, I hear there's only going to be six or seven. It has a plot, you know, and the plot's gotta end... course if it ends with a cliffhanger, I might have to choke a bitch, but still.