The Vend-o-mat 9000

[VSMIT]

Trigonometry slides out smoothly, and promptly takes the cosine of you.

*Inserts Multi-variable Calculus.*

[Jer-oh-me]

Out pops 1 + 1 = 2.

Inserts the memory of Carl Sagan.

[VSMIT]

Billions and billions of stars appear in the night sky.

Inserts the body of Carl Sagan.

[Jer-oh-me]

Out comes the body of Carl Sagan, the machine merely places him in a crystal coffin.

Inserts a Pocket Ref

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 clunks and thumps, and dispenses a get out of jail free card, helpfully stored inside a Klein bottle.


*inserts coin*

[Darkdragon]

Out comes a Blancmange curve

*Inserts coin*

[Jer-oh-me]

Out tumbles a chunk of Niobium.

Inserts a high end processor.

[e_voyager]

the Jurassic park T-Rex explodes form the machine and chases you before a new machine lands in the spot vacated but the first.

insert digivice!

[Slowtini]

Spiral Mountain pops out.
Congratulations. You just caused an age of darkness.
The Digiworld Weeps.

*inserts JESUS*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses Jesus Brother Bob.


*inserts coin*

[Cogidubnus]

It dispenses everything.

Please only take one.

*inserts everything*

[Jer-oh-me]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 emits a few stressed beeps and then buzzes and begins smoking.

Inserts Nickel Cadmium batteries.

[Ren Gaulen]

The Vend-O-Mat starts working properly again.

*inserts a gold bullion*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses a golden bull.


*inserts stone tablets*

[Mao]

The Vend-o-mat dispenses the commandments as interpreted by George Carlin, inscribed on the tablets.

*inserts a coin*

[Slowtini]

Two coins pop out.
Feeling overjoyed by this development, You reinsert both of them, in hopes of an even bigger payout.

Nothing comes out, except for a note, calling you a Greedy <expletive deleted>.

*inserts Cool-Whip*

[Dagardo]

Some button come out and ask you for your preferred flavor of pie, you pick and get a pie shoved down your pants, no pie for you... kinda.

*Inserts a leg.*

[Slowtini]

Wheat Toast comes out.
*inserts Pumpernickle Bread*

[Eagle0600]

A leg comes out.

*Inserts wirt's leg and a scroll of town portal*

[gh0st]

a note saying: "I love White Blood Cells" falls out and somehow gives you a concussion

*insert the queen marry 2 cruise liner.*

[Eagle0600]

An iceburg comes out.

*Inserts the Libris Mortis.

[Ren Gaulen]

A bunch of cows armed with polearms come out (a bit too late) and slay you.

*inserts a Horadric Staff*

[Eagle0600]

Diablo comes out.

*Inserts a two-headed coin, burnt on one side*

[LionHeart]

Two-Face comes out.

*inserts coin*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses The Joker.


*inserts resignation letter*

[Mao]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 lets out a booming laugh as a shackle connected to a ball and chain falls out.

*inserts a coin*

[Eagle0600]

Orange comes out.

*Inserts coin.*

[Brunhidden]

Cool! ive got a.... hand full of live scorpions.... wheeee....


*inserts medical bill with non-swollen hand*

[e_voyager]

antigen comes out.

insert turtle shell.

[Eagle0600]

A goomba comes out, which promptly walks off the nearest cliff.

*Inserts lemon-lime*