The Vend-o-mat 9000

[Azlan]

Eric Clapton pops out and gives you a critical eye.  *100,000,000 damage*

*inserts a rock CD*

[Darkdragon]

Ayers rock comes out.

*Inserts liquid gold*

[Kitsune Ascendant]

a small, sparkling metal cube comes out. when it lands, you can hear some faint sounds: "buy it use it break it fix it trash it change it..."

inserts a piano and a tuna.

[Darkdragon]

The Fourier transformation of a cat comes out.

*Inserts Change*

[Kitsune Ascendant]

A sign pops out. it says "this space for rent" and somehow manages to be present at any point in the universe while still being perceivable as a normally-sized sigh

*inserts red pill*

[Valynth]

The matrix pops out and begins making action figures transforming robots.

*inserts random villager number 35*

[Kitsune Ascendant]

my asploded brain falls out. it is squishy. poke w/ stick? y/n

*inserts the squishy*

[Azlan]

A Kitsune Ascendant doll pops out.  It is designed to be a vodoo doll and a random vicious cub grabs it and begins stabbing it in various places with needles.

*inserts Necronomicon*

[Kitsune Ascendant]

out pops a mysterious object shaped somewhat like insanity and certainly not meant to be part of any euclidian space.

*grabs the cub by the scruff of it's neck and sticks it in the time-out compartment of the vending mahine*

[Janus Whitefurr]

The Lament (or, depending on your source material, Lemarch/and) Configuration pops out. It's a very tempting cube-shaped puzzle. Don't you want to complete it?

*inserts actual coin*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat clunks and thumps for a moment, then pauses. Whines for a bit, then goes silent again, then thunks and clunks again, before dispensing a actual, delivered neatly inside a klein bottle.

*inserts coin*

[Mao]

A weighted companion cube falls out beside you. thunk

*inserts a coin*

[Vidar]

A rabid wolverine rolls out of the machine, right into your pants.
*inserts my hatred for javascript*

[Darkdragon]

A program written in C++ comes out.

*Saves money to donate to the APFU fund and inserted a coupon*

[Slowtini]

Gallons upon Gallons of rat trap glue pour out of the Vend-o-mat.
A voice then comes out of the grille located on the front of the machine, stating "Sorry, your coupon was expired"

*inserts a Gallon of Mr. Bubble into the vend-o-mat*

[Jairus]

A Bouncer Big Daddy comes out. He goes off to find a Little Sister.

*inserts an Incinerate! Plasmid*

[Janus Whitefurr]

An efreet (or ifrit, depending on your localisation) emerges, igniting the surrounding area and causing hot desert sand winds to blow you away.

*inserts a miniature Getter Tomahawk*

[Jairus]

An appropriately sized Getter emerges. Too bad you don't have his tomahawk anymore...

*inserts coin*

[gh0st]

a pyramid head pops out from an adjacent vending machine and promptly beats you with his rusty excuse for a sword

*insert with a little lube an luck a masamune*

[Janus Whitefurr]

Their older sister Doreen emerges from the Vend-O-Mat and turns you into a bowling ball dreaming you're a plate of sashimi.

*inserts coin*

[Rakala]

A human hand falls out of the Vendomat-9000 and proceeds to attack you.

*inserts coin*

[Mao]

A can of hot coffee falls out.

*inserts a coin*

[Vidar]

Hastur emerges from the machine,  engulfs your head, and proptly digests it.

*inserts the sun*

[Slowtini]

The sun comes out, saying to you "Oi', Wot'd ya' do that for?"

*inserts the moon, and the three stars*

[Ren Gaulen]

Nerevar pops out, holding two extra stars and asking why did you insert them in the first place.

*inserts a credit card*

[Mao]

A small slip of paper comes out that says Declined.

*inserts a coin*

[Slowtini]

A small slip of paper comes out, saying "We don't accept your funny money here, now GIT!"

*inserts cat*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 900 dispenses, into your waiting hands, a pair of pyjamas for the cat.


*inserts coin*

[Cogidubnus]

The Vend-O-Mat 9000 dispenses an elephant for the pyjamas.

*inserts Groucho Marx*

[Azlan]

A small tune issues forth, "hurray for Captain Spalding, hurray hurray hurray!"

*inserts duck soup*