Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Rakala]

Granted, the earth drifts away from the sun. Everybody freezes.

I wish for a shag rug.

[Kipiru]

Granted, and it even comes with it's very own flee circus! Enjoy scratching dingo!

I wish for free pizza!

[Rakala]

Granted. You get a miniscule fraction of a slice so small not even Steven Hawking could calculate it's dimensions.

I wish for a wing. Just one.

[Omega]

Here you are. *Hands a live pidgeon to Rakala*
You'll have to pull it off yourself, though.

I wish to kill a man who has no fear.

[Lysander]

Granted, you snipe someone randomly who never knew you you existed had not time to begin to fear. Unfortunately that person had powerful friends who can trace the bullet back to you and destroy you before there is time to fear as well.

I wish for a sacred curse.   

[Rakala]

Granted, though given it's placed on you.

I wish for the entire published works of Brian Jacques.

[Tyranastrasz]

Granted, but you stumble upon the Redwall wikipedia shortly afterwards and accidentally see the end of every book.

I wish James A Owen and E E Knight could write faster with the same quality of writing.

[Lisky]

granted, unfortunately both of them switch genres over to sappy romance novels

i wish i didn't make horrible decisions while drunk

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You quit drinking and instead make horrible decisions while sober.


I wish my little brother wouldn't make fun of my driving (which is not bad by the way) every time I get behind the wheel.

[shadowterm]

Granted, he now makes fun of you everywhere else. (Wait he already did that, right?)

I wish Red Bull actually gave you wings.

[Lisky]

granted, unfortunately it's not the fun kind... fly wings appear on your back, scaled for flies... they're more or less undetectable, and cause you agonizing pain whenever they're crushed or ripped off... have fun trying to sleep...

i wish this girl i met in class the other day would stop messing with me...

[shadowterm]

Granted, a guy starts messing with you.

I wish the club I'm helping organize would just watch some anime already.

[Rakala]

Granted. They watch Naruto and One Piece, 24/7.

I wish for a picture.

[shadowterm]

Granted. It's a picture of everyone in the club tying you to a chair and watching YOU watch those anime. 

I wish for a shrubbery.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

It gives off poisonous fumes, and makes you constantly sick.


I wish that I could look at a book without feeling a compulsion to read them from cover to cover.

[Lysander]

Granted, you instead read a book without no other thoughts or desires until completed.

I wish to run through the stream of time.   

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You disturb the fragile balance of the space-time continuum. And you get wet.

I wish for a fair and forthright future.

[Lisky]

Granted, unfortunately fair is definite as everyone dies, forthright is a matter of perspective, and therefore, your forthright future is from the perspective of a total sociopath

i wish i had a chocolate chip cookie right now

[Angel]

Granted, but it's all burned and stale.

I wish I could cook without burning things.

[Rakala]

Granted. Everything you cook is raw. Except for toast, toast is overdone.

I wish for an ultra phone.

[Tyranastrasz]

Granted. You now have an ultra-massive phone. It crushed your house when it was delivered, and you can't reach the buttons.

I wish I could never get ill.

[Rakala]

Granted. Pretty hard to get ill when your circulatory system doesn't work properly.

I wish to be ambidextrous.

[Lisky]

Granted, unfortunately, it's from the wrist up, as your hands we're removed in the name of science

I wish i could get away with more, simply by using the excuse "it was in the name of science"

[Rakala]

Granted. You are skinned alive "in the name of science".

I wish for a Rorschach.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. He feels you're evil and guilty of something, and kills you, after stuffing you in your refrigerator.


I wish I'd taken my contacts out a while ago.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted...unfortunately someone has torn open  a box to find their own contact lenses and guess where your consciousness has gone.... oh okay, you have now become a box that holds contact lenses making the need for contacts.....unnecessary.

I wish for autographed mint edition of I feel sick by johnen vasquez so I can sell it for $140 on e-bay

[shadowterm]

Granted, the buyer never pays.

I wish for a digital camera.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted...it's one of those cheap walgreens ones that are 1.5 mega pixels of suck and blur at the slightest shake.

[Darkdragon]

I wish there was a wish for me to corrupt so I wouldn't have to make this wish.

[Lisky]

... Granted, for i am about to make a wish... but you have no clue as to what this wish will entail




i wish that my neighbor, ellen, would throw parties on reasonable days, in which i can actually attend said parties, instead of having to worry about class in the AM...