The Useless Superhero Game!

[justacritic]

You have all the abilities of a Ninja!
Too bad you're a pirate...

[Zedd]

Ablity to fly as high as clouds can take you,yet you have to do so by Flatulence

[Gabi]

A pirate with ninja abilities would be fearsome.

You have dreams about future events, but only remember them after those events have come to pass.

[Darkdragon]

The mightiest demons of the land bow to your every whim and demand!

[rammenstein]

The mightiest demons of the land bow to your every whim and demand!

And...?

You can talk to fish! Too bad they all hate your guts...

[Darkdragon]

The mightiest demons of the land bow to your every whim and demand!

And...?

When was the last time you heard a demon which roams the land?

You bring the undead into the world when you touch a dead corpse!

[joshofspam]

You have the power to cast spells with dancing. 

Unfortunately the spells you can cast are limited by the simple fact all you know how to do is the cabbage patch.

[justacritic]

[/quote]

You bring the undead into the world when you touch a dead corpse!
[/quote]
Does that require a full corpse or does any dead matter count?

[Darkdragon]

Any dead matter, of course. Including dead bacteria, fungi, and cooked meat. It brings more inconvenience this way.

[Ren Gaulen]

Your skin is stronger than steel. Unfortunately, it is about as flexible as steel too..

[Draken]

You have the ability to shapeshift.  However, you must stay focused on the form you want at all times or turn into a ball of skin and organs, no bones.

[Zen]

You have the ability to understand any kind of bird. Unfortunately it only works when they are underwater.

[Ren Gaulen]

You have the ability to understand any kind of bird. Unfortunately it only works when they are underwater.

Well, at least you can talk with penguins.

You have adapted to life in open space. Unfortunately, you cannot survive under normal Earth-like conditions anymore.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You can speak to stones. However, since stones have no sensory organs, they don't know much. Since they don't have brains, they're not really very good conversationalists.

[e_voyager]

you can shatter mountains with your voice, unfortunately since the power is always on you can't speak at all less you destroy everything and everyone around you. and no you are not immune to your own power.

[joshofspam]

You have the powers of the undead.

Unfortunately, all you can think about is eating eating brains.

[Draken]

You CAN paint with all the colors of the wind.  However, wind tends to be invisible, so anything you paint tends to be criticized, it has no merit on any sort of battlefield, and you are the laughingstock of the League of Substitute Heroes.

[Ren Gaulen]

You can simply walk into Mordor. Unfortunately, you cannot simply walk out.

[rammenstein]

You can sing with all the voices of the mountains!

However, you cannot speak otherwise.

Plus, they're mountains. They have no voices.

[MT Hazard]

You can become invisible, but only when your trying to get someone to notice you.

[justacritic]

You know how high a sycamore grows but really who cares?

[joshofspam]

You have the power of super speed.

Unfortunately, you have terrible coordination and balance.

[Darkdragon]

You automatically know when one should be using "thou beest" as opposed to "thou art".

[MT Hazard]

You have the power of super speed.

Unfortunately, you have terrible coordination and balance.

Reminds me of a whiteboard strip here where Doc stopped time with caffeine.

[SquirrelWizard]

You can speak to fish....

Too bad, all fish are assholes...

[Darkdragon]

You are a creature of the night, but you cannot convince anyone that you exist.

[joshofspam]

You have the power to fight with disco dancing.

Your weakness...you have the power to fight with disco dancing

[SquirrelWizard]

you have the superpower to make Chuck Norris cry...

[MT Hazard]

you have the superpower to make Chuck Norris cry...

...But no way to stop him karate kicking your ass for doing that.

[Zen]

You have the power to become invisible, but only when nobody is looking at you.