This is a game originally made by my old supervisor over a year ago. It's quite simple, really, has two steps, and requires nothing more than your imagination.
One, think of a superpower. It can be any superpower you want, from something as simple as super strength, to something as spectacular as the ability to warp the very fabric of space-time to your will.
Got a superpower? Good. Now comes the fun part. Come up with some kind of trait, weakness, flaw etc., that renders the possessor of the superpower completely and totally useless, in a lulzy fashion.
Need and example? I'll begin.
I have the ability to move at the speed of light! However, I can only see three inches in front of me.
Let the hilarity begin!
I can leap over an entire city in one go! That is, if I had legs...
X-ray vision! Except it only goes through solid objects, as in, not air.
Crowds will do anything that I ask in person for them to do. My problem is that being near groups of two or more people make me pass out.
Okay, not quite what I expected, but hey. Hrm. I was going to come out with "Flatulence Man", or something equally amusing, but that's not the game, here.
Super-powers. Hrm. There's always super-strength; just not in the bones...
Can turn any food into peanut butter. You are very allergic to peanuts.
Can eat just about anything.yet you lack the skill and will to swallow
flight but is deathly afraid of heights. as if can't even use a step ladder afraid of heights.
You are immune to pain. However you still take damage normally.
Quote from: AmberCross on August 09, 2011, 03:32:43 AM
You are immune to pain. However you still take damage normally.
That's not exactly as useless as it may seem. If you don't feel pain, you can take more damage without being incapacitated by pain shock.
As for my entry, I turn anything I touch into gold. And I cannot turn this ability off. Yes, I am king Midas.
The ability to bend reality to your will.
The acute senses that come with that make it hard just to get out of bed without asking yourself, "What's the point". This also comes with a secondary related weakness that turns you into a compulsive couch Potato.
Quote from: Ren Gaulen on August 09, 2011, 10:36:23 AM
Quote from: AmberCross on August 09, 2011, 03:32:43 AM
You are immune to pain. However you still take damage normally.
That's not exactly as useless as it may seem. If you don't feel pain, you can take more damage without being incapacitated by pain shock.
Only if you're REALLY careful. Far more likely result is that you kill yourself. If you're hit by steam you don't notice it scalding your skin. You don't notice when someone stabs you or if you have a rock in your shoe which ends up crippling your foot. Having that combination is usually not only useless, but also dangerous to yourself.
Being able to turn into a bird. Birds aren't intelligent enough to know how to turn back into a human.
You're able to steal the superpowers of someone else. However, nobody else has a superpower to steal.
You can create any object you can imagine. Unfortunately, you are an accountant.
Being able to open a blank book and see a vision of any secret that a living being has kept. Sadly it's totally random so you are more likely to have a vision of where a squirrel hid its food a thousand years ago than anything useful.
Being able to project images from memory. Alzheimer's.
(Is it possible to have photographic memory and Alzheimer's at the same time?)
Quote from: AmberCross on August 10, 2011, 10:08:49 AM
(Is it possible to have photographic memory and Alzheimer's at the same time?)
Of course. Right now I'm having deja vu and alzheimers at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.
On a similar vein to your idea: able to project images from someone else's memory. Only no control over which images, or whose memory...
Able to unconsciously make anyone you meet want to become friends with you. You are paranoid that these people are all part of a conspiracy to get at you.
Upside is you can pull a rabbit out of a hat. Downside is you have to put the rabbit there in the first place. Wait... does it even count as a superpower if anyone can do it?
Anyway here's a real one.... When you die, you come back to life with a mutation that would have let you survive your death. Like after drowning you revive with gills or when incinerated you before fireproof. Unfortunately each death resets your mutation and you revive somewhere completely random. Usually somewhere you are not suited to live. So after drowning you wake up with gills (and no lungs really) in the Sahara Desert. After that you wake up with a higher water capacity, but you're somewhere cold so the extra water causes you to freeze faster. Stuff like that, you can probably come up with your own.
Side note:
Quote from: llearchRight now I'm having deja vu and alzheimers at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.
So kinda like deja moo then. The strange feeling you've heard this bullshit before.
I'm so happy people are participating!
You have the ability to conjure anything into existence! Unfortunately it's completely random, and never what you need at the time.
Your powers shift as needed to resolve specific problems, but you never know when, where, what problems the powers resolve.
You can fly by flapping wings attached to your back. Unfortunately, to do that, your weight had to be reduced by hollowing out your bones. You are incapable of standing up without some kind of leg brace.
You can summon swarms of angry bees that would attack the closest thing to them immediately. Sadly, you cannot control them, and you are also severely allergic to bee venom.
You have the power to control water.
Unfortunately, when not using your powers you tend to retain water...Lots Of Water.
You generate intense, freezing cold wherever you are. Unfortunately, it's always working. And you aren't immune to freezing to death in the least.
Another one! Because hah!
You gain all the powers of a zen master, and solve all your problems by doing nothing.
You can control the minute functions of every single cell in your body.
Not that you have the ability to focus any better, so all of your attention is wrapped up in making sure your blood flows properly and your cells are dividing on schedule.
You are able to do absolutely anything at the cost of your life. You also happen to be scared ****less of death and the mere thought of it is enough to make you sick.
The ability to speak to any non-humanoid animal at the cost of never being able to understand any humanoids in any shape or form.
Your body produces immense amounts of heat, to which you are immune. Unfortunately, this process goes on constantly and you have no way to control it, so everything in close vicinity to you quickly bursts into flames.
You have laser vision. To bad it's progressively ruining your eyesight.
You have all the abilities of a Ninja!
Too bad you're a pirate...
Ablity to fly as high as clouds can take you,yet you have to do so by Flatulence
A pirate with ninja abilities would be fearsome.
You have dreams about future events, but only remember them after those events have come to pass.
The mightiest demons of the land bow to your every whim and demand!
Quote from: Darkdragon on August 20, 2011, 11:17:17 AM
The mightiest demons of the land bow to your every whim and demand!
And...?
You can talk to fish! Too bad they all hate your guts...
Quote from: rammenstein on August 22, 2011, 10:57:48 AM
Quote from: Darkdragon on August 20, 2011, 11:17:17 AM
The mightiest demons of the land bow to your every whim and demand!
And...?
When was the last time you heard a demon which roams the land?
You bring the undead into the world when you touch a dead corpse!
You have the power to cast spells with dancing.
Unfortunately the spells you can cast are limited by the simple fact all you know how to do is the cabbage patch. :P
[/quote]
You bring the undead into the world when you touch a dead corpse!
[/quote]
Does that require a full corpse or does any dead matter count?
Any dead matter, of course. Including dead bacteria, fungi, and cooked meat. It brings more inconvenience this way.
Your skin is stronger than steel. Unfortunately, it is about as flexible as steel too..
You have the ability to shapeshift. However, you must stay focused on the form you want at all times or turn into a ball of skin and organs, no bones.
You have the ability to understand any kind of bird. Unfortunately it only works when they are underwater.
Quote from: Zen on August 23, 2011, 11:18:00 PM
You have the ability to understand any kind of bird. Unfortunately it only works when they are underwater.
Well, at least you can talk with penguins. :B
You have adapted to life in open space. Unfortunately, you cannot survive under normal Earth-like conditions anymore.
You can speak to stones. However, since stones have no sensory organs, they don't know much. Since they don't have brains, they're not really very good conversationalists.
you can shatter mountains with your voice, unfortunately since the power is always on you can't speak at all less you destroy everything and everyone around you. and no you are not immune to your own power.
You have the powers of the undead.
Unfortunately, all you can think about is eating eating brains. :zombiekun2
You CAN paint with all the colors of the wind. However, wind tends to be invisible, so anything you paint tends to be criticized, it has no merit on any sort of battlefield, and you are the laughingstock of the League of Substitute Heroes.
You can simply walk into Mordor. Unfortunately, you cannot simply walk out.
You can sing with all the voices of the mountains!
However, you cannot speak otherwise.
Plus, they're mountains. They have no voices.
You can become invisible, but only when your trying to get someone to notice you.
You know how high a sycamore grows but really who cares?
You have the power of super speed.
Unfortunately, you have terrible coordination and balance.
You automatically know when one should be using "thou beest" as opposed to "thou art".
Quote from: joshofspam on September 03, 2011, 01:05:25 PM
You have the power of super speed.
Unfortunately, you have terrible coordination and balance.
Reminds me of a whiteboard strip
here (http://www.the-whiteboard.com/autotwb1071.html) where Doc stopped time with caffeine.
You can speak to fish....
Too bad, all fish are assholes...
You are a creature of the night, but you cannot convince anyone that you exist.
You have the power to fight with disco dancing.
Your weakness...you have the power to fight with disco dancing
you have the superpower to make Chuck Norris cry...
Quote from: SquirrelWizard on September 13, 2011, 11:25:02 PM
you have the superpower to make Chuck Norris cry...
...But no way to stop him karate kicking your ass for doing that.
You have the power to become invisible, but only when nobody is looking at you.
Quote from: Zen on September 17, 2011, 10:15:28 PM
You have the power to become invisible, but only when nobody is looking at you.
i remember that power. that kid in mystery men had it and used it to disable an alarm system the wound up nude in front of his fellow mystery men
You can whip your hair back and forth
but you have to deal with the haters.
You can build anything in the world!
Unfortunately, you can never finish any of it.
You have the ability to fight crime with the power of a Mime.
Unfortunately you often get caught in a invisible boxes.
you can remember everything that ever happened but you can't speak of it while you live
Quote from: e_voyager on October 04, 2011, 03:39:08 AM
you can remember everything that ever happened but you can't speak of it while you live
That'll be helpful in writing your memoirs
Quote from: justacritic on October 04, 2011, 07:47:11 AM
Quote from: e_voyager on October 04, 2011, 03:39:08 AM
you can remember everything that ever happened but you can't speak of it while you live
That'll be helpful in writing your memoirs
Doctor strange at one point had that power. he had to let himself be executed so that his dead head could tell the hero's of the 1600's how to save the world
you have the power to learn any skill from reading books or listen to a person explain it to you.
To bad midterms are hell on your posting schedual.
You have the power to alter reality, yet unfortunately you have no idea what reality is anymore.... :sweatdrop
You have the ability to talk to squirrels! Pity they're all nut-jobs. *ba-dum tish*
Oh how about this:
You have the ability to shapeshift into a dragon! Problem is, physics still follows you, which means no flight, no flaming breath, a crippling inability to move under all that mass, and a lot of bad knights in your future. *ba-dum tish*
Or better yet!
You have the ability to add *ba-dum tish!* to all appropriate jokes! Too bad you can't turn it off, and the annoyance factor is so high you are the world's most wanted terrorist simply for the riots you accidentally instill in the common populace.
Quote from: Draken on October 10, 2011, 10:32:52 PM
You have the ability to shapeshift into a dragon! Problem is, physics still follows you, which means no flight, no flaming breath, a crippling inability to move under all that mass, and a lot of bad knights in your future.
Terry Pratchett had in his Discworld series a type of dragon that followed physics the poor things kept blowing up :mowsad
You have the ability to set your body on fire! You are also no more immune or resistant to fire/heat than any other guy on the street.
you have the ability to declare a DR against enemy attacks. it only works if your enemy rolls dice before attacking you.
You have the power to unleash huge rain storms where you are.
To bad your body melts when you get hit by water.
You have the power to predict the result of dice.
Unfortunately your power does not work inside casinos.
You can train animals to attack on command.
But it only works on rabbits, sheep, and other relatively harmless herbivores.
Quote from: Corgatha Taldorthar on October 19, 2011, 02:25:17 PM
You can train animals to attack on command.
But it only works on rabbits, sheep, and other relatively harmless herbivores.
Relatively harmless herbivores? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KillerRabbit)
Also male sheep (Rams) can be pretty dangerous. As can cows.
Quote from: MT Hazard on October 19, 2011, 06:28:00 PM
Also male sheep (Rams) can be pretty dangerous. As can cows.
I've yet to see a real life rabbit bite someone's head off. And the power wouldn't work on a herbivore big enough to actually cause damage. I'm talking something that works on small, weak animals, like gerbils and pigeons. :P
Still useful for distraction purposes. Like a squirrel girl lite I guess
ATTACK MY VERMIN ARMY! *evil laugh*
edit: seems like there is a similar thread on TV tropes Link (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=nrjz1gm0ajayi8fbg9vclu97&page=0)
you can make up to 20 copies of yourself. the down side? all of you abilities including your intellect decree with each copy they are divided among the copies.
Flight, but only in a sitting position like you are driving an invisible car (a few feet off the ground.)
Edit 2: Comic example of above (http://buttersafe.com/2010/06/03/a-wizards-gift/)
Edit: +1 to every poster, just because.
You have the power to view things in fifteen spacial dimensions, but none of them have any correlation to the real world.
you can turn anything into a Meme but you never get credit for it.
Quote from: Corgatha Taldorthar on October 19, 2011, 07:56:06 PM
I've yet to see a rabbit bite someone's head off.
Bwahahahahaha ohh god can't stop laughing :eager
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg)
Anyhow...
The ability to read anyone's mind. Too bad your afraid of people