The Bestiary

[Brunhidden]

Previously, on the suggestion of llearch, i had started a helpful guide to the more prominent/dangerous forum goers to assist the newbies who might want to know just what kind of knee deep manure they have gotten themselves into.

it failed, for reasons..... yes, reasons.

however now i have concocted a new way to present the bestiary as to aid those who have blindly stumbled here to meet their untimely doom.


i will start, not with a FAQ but with questions you should ask but probably wont


Q- What is the point of this?
A- did you not just read what i introed? its a 'get to know' for some of the people you will inevitably meet, perhaps it will keep you from pissing some of them off

Q- Why isn't everyone here?
A- partially because i have just started, partially because i am only covering prominent or dangerous entries, partially because i don't really know everyone,

Q- Why are there no pictures?
A- there's a forum photo gallery, if they wanted their picture up it would be there

Q- Can I change my entries?
A- no, however you can petition for a change by either posting on the thread or a PM

Q- Can I suggest someone else to enter?
A- yes, yes you can. but not yourself. however you need to have a compelling argument that the person you suggest is either prominent or dangerous



now, onto the format.

as you can see the entries are placed alphabetically, all entries will be updated on the first post, and all entries will contain the following information

name- obvious
faction- see below
danger level- how afraid you should be of this person
location- the sections of the forum they are most frequently found at
bio- some flavor text telling you about them


faction, this may take a little explaining, but in the long run will make it easier for me to describe someone to you. a faction can be thought of like a game where you have diffrent sides, however the only 'sides' here are divine, mortal, magical, dark one, and troll. none of these factions are currently at war, although some once were.


Divine- much like Buddhism or Shinto the land of the internets is full of gods and goddesses. no, they are not omnipotent, typically each has their own little domain they rule over, though they sometimes wander to be seen elsewhere. divine net entities deserve respect, largely because they often do have the power to smite.

Mortal- just your average internet entity, they lack the prestige or power of influence of other factions, however they should not be discounted. individual mortals can have compelling arguments driven by herculean intellect, show incredible determination, or there's the fact they outnumber all other factions by about five to one.

Magical- something about this net entity has a lot of power behind it. those of the magical faction typically draw a lot of attention, have forceful personalities, a gimmick of some sort, and a respectable presence of post. the ranks of the magical faction are fleshed out with angels, demons, djinni, dragons, and all kinds of fantastic miscellaneous, as such they can often turn on each other and are less danger to other factions then you would think.

Dark one- more commonly known as lurkers, dark ones keep their agendas secret and their opinions infrequent. not much else is known of this faction other then its widely suspected they have a conspiracy going.

Troll- mostly those who are unpleasant to be around, unpopular, or actively seek to cause trouble. the troll faction was once incredibly powerful but was decimated by the divine legions long ago, thus those you see are either tolerated due to good behavior or kept as a pet or court jester. the trolls however await the time when their king, according to prophecy, will appear and lead them to conquer the internet and rule supreme. but that's laughable




and now, the entries

A

Alondro

• Faction: Troll
• Danger Level: fairly high, in addition to being slightly more insane then most others Alondo also has multiple personalities and a penchant for eating babies
• Location:
• Bio:

Amber

• Faction: Divine
• Title: Grand goddess of the Deadly Cute
• Domain: all things which are cute yet dangerous, as such her minions control a sizable chunk of the furrie territories and are posed to assault other portions of the internet from their fuzzy base
• Danger Level: high, Amber has very little patience and a lot of power. despite her being, on the whole, a benevolent and loved deity who farts sunshine and urinates awesome she also has her rampages, bad moods, and of course she also has at her disposal the legendary artifact- Alexi's Banhammer so it is not wise to intentionally cheese her off or to be in her way when a notice is out that Life just barfed in her shoe.
• Location:
• Bio:

B

brunhidden

• Faction: Troll
• Danger Level: pathetic

C

Cogidubnus

• Faction:
• Danger Level:
• Location:
• Bio:

Corgatha Taldorthar

• Faction: Mortal
• Danger Level: low
• Location: Lost lake Inn, The Arena
• Bio: Corgatha Taldorthar is very analytical, has a quick wit and a sharp tongue(or keyboard). He likes to collect tiny details, and is often found making long, yet amazingly insightful conjectures about... anything really. He absolutely detests factual inaccuracies and/or logical fallacies, so... try to keep them low when he is on the prowl, because he is a mercykiller and will extract JUSTICE. He currently takes the form of an animated suit of hollow armor, which he really ought to remember to clean once in a while...

D

Darkmoon

• Faction:
• Title:
• Domain:
• Danger Level:
• Location:
• Bio:

E

Eowyn

• Faction: Dark One
• Danger Level: surprisingly high for a 3 year old, her file on photo has her swinging a sword longer then she is tall
• Location:
• Bio:

F

Fox NaBan

• Faction:
• Danger Level:
• Location:
• Bio:

G

GabrielsThoughts

• Faction: Troll
• Danger Level: low to moderate, his arsenal is mostly limited to sharp words of vaguely mean demeanor
• Location:
• Bio:

H

Hare, the Gay

• Faction: Mortal, but he IS magically delicious
• Danger Level: low, unless of course you have an aversion to fresh baked cookies or buttsex
• Location:
• Bio:

I

Icarus

• Faction: Divine
• Title: Grey Lord of torn clothes
• Domain: Icarus exerts control over a those who are almost, but not quite, EMO and any others wearing clothes with torn cuffs
• Danger Level: moderate to high, Icarus has quite a bit of power and can easily crush those he does not like
• Location:
• Bio:

Ink

• Faction: Dark One
• Danger Level: the horror, the horror.... somehow he manages to be quite a nice guy, once you scrub some of the blood and shreds of soul off him. Ink has power nearly on par with some of the Divine, and abuses it in all the right ways
• Location:
• Bio:

J

Jer-oh-me

• Faction: Dark One
• Danger Level: low, but has a strong ability with intelligent arguments
• Location:
• Bio:

James StarRunner

• Faction: Magical
• Danger Level:
• Location:
• Bio:

K

Keaton the Black Jackal

• Faction: Magical
• Danger Level: scouts have not reported back, presumed missing, report incomplete. however she LOOKS quite dangerous, especially in all that black leather, but her severe ADD makes her a bit less threatening
• Location:
• Bio:

L

llearch n'n'daCorna

• Faction: Divine
• Title: God of cardboard containers
• Domain: some but not all items which are stored in boxes, primarily office equipment and old clothing
• Danger Level: moderate to high. while llearch does have impressive powers at his command he is rather amiable and anyone of sharp wit can get on his friendly side quickly
• Location: Present. We're not sure precisely where, but there seems to be a stack of boxes here, and we think he's one of them...
• Bio: degradable. llearch is assumed to have usurped the god of paper clips and expanded his empire from there to other common office equipment. one of the more benign mods he claims to be a lurker, but is in fact a very active member of the community often chatting with the mortals. llearch provides many services, and can grant free webhosting to those who offer sacrifices of burnt popular culture and recite the sacred quotations of British satirists.

M

Mao Laoren

• Faction: Mortal
• Danger Level: mild
• Location:
• Bio:

N

Netrogo

• Faction: Mortal
• Danger Level:
• Location:
• Bio:

O

No-one currently...

P

Penny

• Faction: Mortal
• Danger Level:
• Location:
• Bio:

Q

Qeniheru

• Faction:
• Danger Level:
• Location:
• Bio:

R

Ren Gaulen

• Faction: Magical
• Danger Level: fun
• Location:
• Bio:

Reese Tora

• Faction: Mortal
• Title: Official Brown Nose
• Danger Level: Minimal
• Location: Behind the moderators
• Bio: Reese is pretty good at snuffling up to people. In fact, he's downright talented at grovelling to the people in power - just look at his post on page 2...

S

Saist

• Faction:
• Danger Level:
• Location:
• Bio:

T

Tapewolf

• Faction: Magical, applied for a promotion to divine
• Danger Level: low, tape is actually a giver of gifts and all around awesome guy
• Location:
• Bio:

U

No-one currently...

V

Valynth

• Faction:
• Danger Level:
• Location:
• Bio:

W

Wildy

• Faction: Magical
• Danger Level: high, but not as high as you would think. wildy is actually quite civil when you play your cards right
• Location:
• Bio:

X

xHaZxMaTx

• Faction: Mortal
• Danger Level: comical, hazzy is often the victim, specifically of genderswap and other pranks by the magical and divine residents
• Location:
• Bio:

Y

yakanaj

• Faction: Mortal
• Danger Level: nill
• Location:
• Bio: Yakanaj to date has only one claim to fame, being the wife of James Starrunner

Z

Zedd

• Faction: Magical
• Danger Level: moderate, it is suggested that flammable items not be brought next to a flaming homo of such magnitude, but he is quite fun once you get to know him and manage not to get annoyed.
• Location:
• Bio: Zedd is a very chatty and fun incubi, who practically has a hobby of making alternate characters. other fun items of note are that zedd is in fact a feline/canine hybryd, is somehow considered to be brunhidden's brother, and is rumored to be cherry flavored

Zina

• Faction: Magical
• Danger Level: Lethal. Zina seems to find great joy in ripping new orifices into unsuspecting prey. even long time forum regulars are not safe from her ire
• Location:
• Bio: Zina was born a poor black child. She was raised by whale sharks on the outskirts of the Philippine Islands, where she learned how to brawl good and proper. She later moved to the American west to seek her fortune and married a saucy bar-maid by the name of Fanny. They had six children before the wolves came. Now they only have 1 and a half. Now Zina lives out her life somewhere in the land of wind and ghosts, more legend than man.

[Mao]

Now this is a project that I really hope takes off.   Though I have to say some folks might not be pleased with the realities of how they are viewed here.  Hopefully all of our skins are thick enough to take it.

Question though:  How often will you likely be updating this?  Often enough to notice if someone has a change of 'faction' or 'danger level'?  I mean it's one thing to call a troll a troll, but say the troll gets straightened out and that's just left up there hanging over them, will it stay that way as a reminder of a less than proud point in their life?

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

... I'm halfway tempted to move this to the Treasury, but then Brun-Brun-Chan wouldn't be able to update it. ;-]

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

This looks very amusing.


What sort of criteria will you be using to determine who gets on the list?

Second question, can we suggest ourselves for the list 

[Brunhidden]

Second question, can we suggest ourselves for the list 

THIS is why i put up 'questions you should ask but wont'

ammended to 'wont, and probably wont read either'








yes llearch, considering i haven t even put in a single entry yet. although as you can see your suggestion of zina as the first one was taken

[techmaster-glitch]

... I'm halfway tempted to move this to the Treasury, but then Brun-Brun-Chan wouldn't be able to update it. ;-]

You can sticky it

It'll be a forumite project like Random Hugs and ATAPF

EDIT:...In fact, this whole thing reminds me of the Pantheon side-project on TVTropes

EDIT EDIT: Y'know, if I can find some spare time, I see if I can tackle making some profile suggestions for this, or at the very least compile a list of notable forumites.

[Darkmoon]

Of course... the admins could go in and make their own entries...

[techmaster-glitch]

Of course you can. In fact, anything you guys write will probably be more authorative than anyone else's suggestions.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Not to step on any toes, but I think that all the Admins are likely to show up sooner or later (and most likely sooner) on this list..... And if they're writing their own entries, then they might not turn out to be the huge warning sign for new members that the intended purpose (or at least state purpose) of this project.


Of course, that might be more fun in the long run, all things considered, but still.

[superluser]

And if they're writing their own entries, then they might not turn out to be the huge warning sign for new members that the intended purpose (or at least state purpose) of this project.

Somehow, I suspect that the entries would actually be worse if the admins wrote their own...

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Somehow, I suspect that the entries would actually be worse if the admins wrote their own...

bill

Faction	Dark One
Danger level	Medium
Location	Hiding in the shadows behind you
Bio	bill doesn't say much. When he is present, you should be very very careful around him, but he only has a Medium DL due to not actively being present most of the time.

Something like that?

[Darkmoon]

I'll leave my bio to others. I'd prefer to see what they say.

[Tapewolf]

This looks like it should be fun to watch.  Isn't the usual term "Bestiary", though?

[superluser]

Isn't the usual term "Bestiary", though?

It is, but I didn't want to point it out.  Beast is the noun, but usually whenever it's in an adjectival form, it's best- (bestiary, bestial, but for some reason beastly).

Still, I'd rather be in a Bestiary than an obituaryworsted wool.

[Tapewolf]

I should be able to retitle the posts if you want, Brun...

[Lysander]

This will be interesting. I look forward to the result.   

[Ren Gaulen]

I am also looking forward for the results. It should be fun.

[ShadesFox]

Bwhehehe... This promises to be full of amusing.

[Eagle0600]

Hmm, can't wait to see where this goes. And yes, having seen some of the stuff the admins have done, they should probably go in there first.

[Darkmoon]

What on earth could you be talking about?

:innocent

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

*whistles innocently*

[Mao]

*whistles innocently*

Why does the feigning of innocence seem even more unbelievable coming from you than it does from Darkmoon?

[Darkmoon]

It cause he hides in a cardboard box. You can't see his eyes.

Plus, he could be naked in there.

[Brunhidden]

*whistles innocently*

Why does the feigning of innocence seem even more unbelievable coming from you than it does from Darkmoon?

most likely because boxy has already decided to alter the information presented

[Gabi]

Shouldn't we include Ink? And possibly Azlan.

Oh, and Shadesfox tends to set everything on fire.

[ShadesFox]

Shouldn't we include Ink? And possibly Azlan.

Oh, and Shadesfox tends to set everything on fire.

And Gabi should be included too, for going around and... hugging everything!

[Jairus]

... hey, Amber should be on that list. I mean, creator of DMFA, moderator, don't piss her off... offhand, I'd say she's important enough to warrant an entry.

[Gabi]

Shouldn't we include Ink? And possibly Azlan.

Oh, and Shadesfox tends to set everything on fire.

And Gabi should be included too, for going around and... hugging everything!

*Hugs Shades.* (I couldn't not do it after that post).

[Ren Gaulen]

And I would like to suggest adding Jairus, because he is a nice person to whom one can always turn for help.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Isn't this supposed to be people to be afraid of?

The beasts, as it were?