The Vend-o-mat 9000

[Slowtini]

Tiny Pancakes come out. But instead of syrup, it's superglue, and they somehow managed to become attached to your chest.

*inserts USB Stick*

[Angel]

The Vend-O-Mat's little light-up screen displays, scrolling slowly, "I'm sorry, Slowtini. I'm afraid I can't do that..."

(inserts a snakeskin belt)

[techmaster-glitch]

The Vend-O-Mat dispences an undead snake that is rather pissed it was made into a belt.

*inserts coin*

[gh0st]

out pops a talking ferret that slaps the snake and tells it to "shut up" because it's dead then proceeds to slap you.

*insert dead/alive/wraith snake*

[e_voyager]

The Vend-O-Mat plays Dead or alive 3

insert police report

[Angel]

It comes back out with a messily scrawled message in Sharpie saying "DON'T TRY IT" and a photo of one of your loved ones tied to a chair.

(inserts pencil shavings)

[Colgatecrusader]

you get a ball point pen, now you never have to worry about sharpening your pencil!

inserts crumpled dollar bill

[e_voyager]

out pops a picture of Washington crossing the Delaware done by a five year old. aren't you so proud?

insert failing report card.

[Colgatecrusader]

out comes a rotten sock, with an F written on it

insert running shoes.

[e_voyager]

out pops shadow the hedgehog

insets  x-tornado

[Colgatecrusader]

the vending machine explodes in a whirlwind

inserts monkey wrench

[Angel]

Out pops a tool kit, with an independent contractor attached.

(inserts a copy of Highlights magazine)

[Slowtini]

Repressed Memories come out.

*inserts quarter*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses a half.

*inserts dime*

[e_voyager]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses a very old looking wheelchair.

insert a rose in full bloom.

[Slowtini]

The ThornKannon MkII Beta is dispensed promptly from the vend-o-mat.
Use Carefully. Avoid pointing at the face.


*inserts Gish*

[Colgatecrusader]

out comes a smashed pumkin and a fish, which made quite a dish.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gish

Inserts coin

[Angel]

Out comes a multitude of Sacagawea dollar coins. I'm in a good mood tonight.

(with a great deal of effort, inserts Castlevania: Symphony of the Night)

[Cogidubnus]

Alucard (the cool one in red) emerges, and gives you a grin.

*inserts coin*

[e_voyager]

out pops a badge with the name Vitoria on it.

insert a sliver cross

[Angel]

Out pops a black, multiple-eyed dog, with the cross in its teeth.

(inserts a 'magic bullet')

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 dispenses JFK.


*inserts coin*

[Colgatecrusader]

out comes mario, who proceeds to beat you up and take the rest of your remaining coins

*inserts lightsaber*

[Silver Pomeranian Genji]

Out comes a flashlight, worthless for fights, useful for finding your way in the dark.

*inserts Kuriboh*

[Colgatecrusader]

the vulture from the desert level in mario 64 comes and steals your hat.

inserts google.

[e_voyager]

out pop three different digidestined leaders

insert hoof

[Valynth]

The other thing from texas pops out.

*inserts a banana*

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

The Vend-o-mat dispenses a banana cake, complete with icing and a cherry on top.


*inserts coin*

[Colgatecrusader]

out come 700 IQ points

*inserts death*

[Angel]

The other three Horsemen of the Apocalypse are dispensed. Because they are from Good Omens, they ride over you with their Harleys and off to cause destruction and mayhem.

(inserts a Best of Queen tape)