The Vend-o-mat 9000

[Jairus]

The Big O pops out. And then combines with the gigantic red robot. Oh boy.

*inserts coin*

[Ren Gaulen]

Gao-Machines for GaoFighGar fly out and proceed to orbit you aimlessly, as if waiting for something.

*inserts coin*

[Jairus]

A very large and energetic ham MAN emerges and shouts something about "Final Fusion" being approved.

*inserts coin*

[e_voyager]

a 40 meter tall mecha griffin pops out of the vend-o-mat

insert coin

[Darkdragon]

A P-1056 Codarl comes out

*Inserts coin*

[Azlan]

*does nothing*

*inserts a zen coin*

[ShadesFox]

Out pops a pair of goggles

*inserts a chaos coin*

[Darkdragon]

Sargaras comes out.

*Inserts token*

[Janus Whitefurr]

A Demon Cannon Girl pops out.

*inserts ringpull*

[Jairus]

(I see what you did there.)

Carousel-horse Mab pops out.

*inserts whatever money they use on Furrae*

[Janus Whitefurr]

(I did nothing. *innocent whistle*)

The Furrae equivalent of a diet soft drink comes out. It happens to be several colours, and makes the strangest sounds. It may or may not be consumable.

*inserts a tiny red gemstone.*

[Jairus]

A long white staff with a golden head with a large reddish-pink jewel in the center of the head drops into your hands. You transform into a Magical Ferret. Your password is "Mustelidae Magical."

*inserts 1 gil*

[Janus Whitefurr]

This pops out, and curls up in your lap.

*inserts random coin*

[Azlan]

A red rose pops out and drifts into your hair

*inserts a soul coin*

[Darkdragon]

You get a one-way ticket to join the River of Souls. Mina's rather unhappy that you're late.

*Inserts gold piece*

[ShadesFox]

Out pops a ShadesFox, who took your gold piece.

*inserts a plastic coin*

[Azlan]

Out pops an Azlan with a magic wand and faerie wings who turns you female.

*inserts a cursed gold coin*

[Valynth]

Out pops the curse of Oedipus.

*inserts a demented coin*

[VSMIT]

Josephus and Comicus pop out, and run from the guards.

*inserts a coin made of pure destruction*

[Ren Gaulen]

A thousand nations of the Persian Empire descends upon you from the Vend-O-Mat.

*inserts a Persian coin*

[Janus Whitefurr]

A Prince pops out of the machine and promptly falls down a handy pit onto some spikes, with a little scream.

*inserts Ren's hat into the Vend-O-Mat*

[VSMIT]

The Vend-O-Mat spits it back out, with a letter attached saying, "WTF is this?  No currency, no product."

*Inserts Ren's manhood into the Vend-O-Mat*

[Ren Gaulen]

The Shin Commissar One flies out with a Commissar Tomahawk in its hands and smites you for your heresy.

*inserts a Core Drill*

[Janus Whitefurr]

The Vendo-O-Mat whirrs and humms with green energy, which suddenly turns a blazing red, and Lord Genome emerges from the machine to promptly punch you silly because your spiral energy has run out.

*inserts coin*

[VSMIT]

A Janus pops out.  You stare at each other in disbelief for a couple of seconds, then the Vend-O-Mat realizes its mistake and sucks you in, leaving the copy to roam free.

*Inserts a coin*

[Janus Whitefurr]

The Vend-O-Mat chugs and whines, and begins chugging out copy after copy of Janusii, both ferret and red pandas, until you are buried beneath a confused mound of hybridity and Australianess.

*uses the clone to insert a coin*

[Darkdragon]

A blue screen of death appears. What hath you done?

(I think the plural of "Janus" is "Janii")

*Inserts drachma*

[Janus Whitefurr]

(I use Janusii (ya-nus-eye) because it sounds pretty evil.)

A drachpa emerges and runs off with your previously inserted drachma.

*steps aside to let someone else insert a coin*

[Jairus]

*inserts two coins for self and Janus*

Out pops two copies of the newest Janus Bond/Doctor Jyrras book: Never Too Late to Love.

*inserts coin*

[Janus Whitefurr]

The Vend-O-Mat 9000 ejects a baby Vend-O-Mat 9000 into your arms, and gives you an intimidating stare with its various lights to treat it well.

*inserts coin*