[Story] Furrae Chronicles - Chapter 46 (25/06/2008)

[Nikki]

i likey!!

[RJ]

*giggle* But things are looking interesting!

[Nikki]

*giggle* But things are looking interesting!

i agree, RJ ^w^....

WHERE'S THE BLOODFEST!!??

0x0 whoops..sorry...

[Suwako]

Great job mister Gareeku 

[Tapewolf]

Ok, corrections to chapter 36 made, and chapter 37 is now up.

Neat.  As usual, I'll do a more thorough proofread later.

[Gabi]

Yes, another great chapter.

I've just spotted 2 uses of the word 'i' in lowercase, one on chapter 35 and one on chapter 37. You can find them by searching for " i " (the letter i between two spaces).

[Tapewolf]

Okay, here's my more in-depth proofing:

Typos:

• Ki -> Li
• "Raine immediately rushed of," -> rushed off
• "Dont remind me..." -> Don't

..and as Gabi points out, a couple of lower-case 'i's here and there.

Queries & possible enhancements:

• "not wanting to get hurt by being in the way of the fight" - nothing wrong with this, but personally I think "not wanting to get caught up in the fighting" sounds slightly more effective.
• "You assholes ain't gonna take his town!" - should that say "this town", or is he referring to Johan Cross who 'owned' the town previously?

Just as an aside:
"Well, they -do- say that the first step towards overcoming something is to face it."
If I was writing it Jakob would probably have muttered something about being afraid of dying too, but that can't really fit into the sentence structure.

[KarlOmega1]

Woohoo! All your base are belong to Gareeku....for great chapter!

[Vaguely Creepy]

Oh Warriors...Come out to p-

Whoops, wrong place.

Chapters 36 and 37, both excellent as usual, Gareeku. One thing in chapter 37, though: I'm not sure if this is really a problem, becuase I suppose it kind of depends on how you're reading the story, but it seems a little odd that you use the term "fur(res)" to describe the characters, since the story takes place in a furry world.

What I mean is, if you read it as you, yourself, the human sitting there in front of the computer, it makes sense, but if you're trying to read it from the point of the story world, of the characters, then it sort of throws things out of whack.

But like I said, it could just be me.

[Hilary]

Exciting and intriguing, as always.  Now that I've finally been able to catch up, just one edit from chapter 36.

Gareeku muttered to himself, rubbing his forehead due to the slight headache that now made itself present. The warrior had no recollection of what had happened, aside from being overcome with a severe migrane.

First the headache is described as slight, then as a severe migrane. It can't be both, so you might want to remove the 'slight.'

[Gareeku]

the "slight headache" refers to the headache he felt when he woke up at the hospital. the Migrane was all he could remember when he transformed into his "feral incubus" state.

[Hilary]

Oh, okay. I get it now.

[Gareeku]

UUUUUUUUPDAAAAAAATE

Yes, after an unexpected hiatus, a new chapter is FINALLY up!

(there's also a line in this chapter that makes fun of myself. See if you can find it. )

[RJ]

Ooh, bit of a cliffhanger there! But I'm so glad you updated!  *hugs*

(Couldn't pick out that line though... I'm not in thinking mode exactly at the moment)

[Tapewolf]

UUUUUUUUPDAAAAAAATE

Yes, after an unexpected hiatus, a new chapter is FINALLY up!

(there's also a line in this chapter that makes fun of myself. See if you can find it. )

At last!  Good stuff, as ever.  I'm wondering if the line you mean is about the torches..

[Suwako]

I bow to your greatness, an other great chapter after the haitus.   

[Hilary]

W00t! A wonderful chapter to return to the story with.

[Gabi]

*Joins the acclamation choir.* It's great to read a new chapter.

[Alondro]

*Charline sneaks in... looks around carefully*  When do I get to cause more havok in the story?  Interesting writing thus far.  *zooms out chuckling*   

[Nikki]

0w0

ABOUT GODDAMNED TIME!!!

[Gareeku]

0w0

ABOUT GODDAMNED TIME!!!

Hey, i've had a busy real life. Don't push it.

[Nikki]

*shnuggle-luffs* awwww, you know i'm just messin with ya ^^

[tenlaius]

nice, glad that your still ok.

and yes everyone..i am back from my break..not that it matters >>> no one probaly missed me T_T

[Vaguely Creepy]

Ah, good to have updates again. Feels....right, ya know?

:p

Glad to see you're back in action, Gareeku. Good work.

[Gareeku]

Finally, after just over a year, there is a new chapter; chapter 39. Not only that, but I've gone from chapters 1 right through to the end of chapter 36 and made corrections and little modifications here and there. As well as that, I've finally put up chapters 29 to 36 on DA. Huzzah.

[Gabi]

Yay! Just today I was wondering if you'd ever resume writing this. I'm glad that you have.

Paladin should know better than to ask "what's the worst that could happen", and I should know better than to close my eyes before striking, but it all turned out well after all.

[Aisha deCabre]

Once again, it's a most awesome chapter, Gar.  Great work, it's good to see another one up again. ^^

[Tapewolf]

Yeah, good to see this finally make a comeback.  I can't say it was the most thrilling chapter I've ever read, but as a return to form it certainly hit the spot.  And I must try to finish CJP 37 as well...

[Gareeku]

I can't say it was the most thrilling chapter I've ever read, but as a return to form it certainly hit the spot.

Well gee, thanks. I'm sorry I'm not a truely brilliant writer and that I don't live up to your wonderous expectations.

[Tapewolf]

Well gee, thanks. I'm sorry I'm not a truely brilliant writer and that I don't live up to your wonderous expectations.

You're forgetting that FC is what inspired me to write DMFA stuff in the first place
In any case, that's not what I meant.  The fact of the matter is that the story has been on hiatus for something like a year, and it's going to take a while back into your stride.  If you've ever watched Pink Floyd's Pulse concert, it takes them a while to warm up too.  It would be incredible if the first new chapter of your story managed to eclipse the rest of it.

There have been some truly great moments in the story and, assuming that your skin is thick enough that a single ambivalent response from me doesn't scupper the entire project, there will be again.  Properly handled, the point where Jakob discovers that Gareeku has eaten people's souls promises to be such a moment.

Now, my comment was probably a bit tactless and you're right to be nettled about it, but remember the rules : this is not the place for mindless fawning and even if it was, I'm not very good at that anyway.

Yes, this is a decent chapter, and a pretty good return to form.  I'm really happy to see FC return, but I can't in all honesty say this chapter is the greatest thing ever to have come from your pen.