Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Jairus]

Granted. However, the United States military declares your mech a threat and blasts it to kingdom come.

I wish Michael Jackson would fade from the public eye and never make the news again.

[Colgatecrusader]

granted but he has a son gary jackson who becomes famous before falling prey to the same things as his father

I wish i had a disco turkey.

[Zedd]

Granted, It's now having a good boogie fever till you catch it and soon a new virus breaks out forcing people to dance greatly and dress poorly while no one can stop till they die of sweat loss thanks alot!


I wish I could done worse

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. It somehow involves llearch and the minispawn of cardboard boxes

I wish I lived in the BattleTech universe as a MechWarrior.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. Unfortunately, due to the speed of light, relativity, the Chandrasekhar limit, space-time physics, and supersymmetry, you die of old age and never got to see a battle.

I wish something unexpected will happen tomorrow.

[Colgatecrusader]

granted you fell off a cliff getting into your car
I wish for artistic skill.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You now can make the best looking trash sculptures in the world. However, no one goes to see them because of the objectionable odour.

I wish to have one of the fastest Internet connections in the world without having to pay more than I have to at the moment.

[Jairus]

Granted. Your internet connection is so fast that it starts taking you to websites that have not yet been written or will never be written in this reality because of your actions, causing paradox upon paradox to start building up. Soon the walls of reality begin to cave in and webcomics start coming to life... and this only makes things worse, and soon Cthulhu himself breaks through and begins to wage warfare on reality, even though he didn't really exist before.

I wish we could defeat Cthulhu once and for all.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. Even though Cthulhu was defeated in such a spectacular manner which my words could never do it justice, there is now a sizable Cthulhu cult which denies that Cthulhu is gone once and for all. They wage war in many areas in the human empires in attempt to find an obscure way to resurrect it. Despite having turned the Solar System inside out, they show no progress nor any intention of stopping with the carnage.

I wish to see an image which depicts the awesome moment which Cthulhu was defeated.

[Lysander]

Granted. The image is far too extravagant to be mentally processed which sends your mind into an insanity of colors, ultimately disrupting any further light and knowledge from being recorded in your memory.

I wish for a euphemism.   

[Jairus]

Granted. Bioshock. Oh yeah.

I wish I could comprehend the awesome moment of Cthulhu's defeat. Without my mind shattering.

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. Your mind doesn't shatter. It just melts

I'm not sure if I want to, but I wish I actually knew what the heck this Cthulhu thing is that everyone talks about (all I know is that it is some sort of tentacled mind-screwy cosmic horror )

[Jairus]

Granted. You know understand Cthulhu in all of his terrible monstrosity, meaning that not only does your mind completely and totally break, it reforms into an aspect of him. You become a piece of a reality breaking monstrosity.

I wish I had a slice of perfect apple pie with a scoop of perfect vanilla ice cream on top. Oh, and the pie is that "just out of the oven" temperature where the ice cream melts perfectly as you're eating it.

[Slowtini]

Granted, but you drop the plate on the way to the dining room table.

I wish I had a toaster that DIDN'T burn my toast every damn time I try to make toast. CURSE YOU TOASTER, CURSE YOUUUUUUU

[Jairus]

Granted. Instead, it turns your toast into Heero Yuy.

I wish that I had a cinnamon raisin bagel.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. It's been toasted in Slowtini's toaster.



I wish I spent more time offline.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. Now you spend an extra 30 seconds in bed instead of online.

I wish as Moore's Law approaches the tipping point, we can keep up with it.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Moore's law approaches the tipping point, but by that time, the retards at EA produce all software on earth, and are completely oblivious as to how to actually use their superpowered hardware.


I wish I had the sort of energy and drive I needed to work on my novel

[VSMIT]

Granted, but your novel is so rushed that it doesn't come out the way you wanted it.  When your future publisher sees it, he finds it to be the worst piece of literature he's ever seen, and promptly gouges his eyes out because of the monstrosity.

I wish I had a harder time thinking that one up.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

I sidle over to your house and surgically remove most of your cereberal, making it much harder to think *anything* up.


I wish that I impress the entire universe with my obvious superiority :p

[VSMIT]

Granted, you impress everyone but llearch, Damaris, Darkmoon, Amber, Zina, RJ, and Bill.  And they ban you for thinking yourself to be superior.

I wish that people I meet wouldn't talk to me with a condescending air about them.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

For some reason, the police haul you away after stapling the seventeenth person's mouth shut. You die in prison.


I wish they had decent food at my school's cafeteria.

[VSMIT]

Granted. But the food is now so good that they increase the price to 5 times the original.  Now you can't afford it, and starve to death (assuming you're in college).

I wish I had the money to live on campus.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. They serve the best Russian food (Sorry, Ren) which includes cabbage soup (Shchi - щи) and hard bread

Granted. However, they don't have room for you now.

I wish I wasn't ninja'd!

[Dagardo]

Granted, you get depressed of not being ninja'd and kill yourself.

I wish i had total control over magic in all forms and that Jyrras never talk like a stereotypical gay person again (i think) . I dont bash on him either, hes tied with Abel as my fave.

[Darkdragon]

Oh um, granted. Too bad you didn't also wish that magic existed right?

I wish people could be a bit more humble at times.

[Dagardo]

Oh um, granted. Too bad you didn't also wish that magic existed right?

If the wish was granted then magic would exist

[Darkdragon]

Oh um, granted. Too bad you didn't also wish that magic existed right?

If the wish was granted then magic would exist

Not necessarily, you get all forms of magic, but the set of magic currently in existence has a property of a null set, meaning that you control all forms of magic, which is equivalent to none because there is no magic.

[Dagardo]

Oh um, granted. Too bad you didn't also wish that magic existed right?

If the wish was granted then magic would exist

Not necessarily, you get all forms of magic, but the set of magic currently in existence has a property of a null set, meaning that you control all forms of magic, which is equivalent to none because there is no magic.

OK you've confused me Im tempted to say i would erase the existence of the null set but that may be contradictory and would confuse me more. I dislike feeling like a pain to others.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. The concept of a null set is now gone. Along with most of higher maths, and much of society, which has been reverted to the hunter-gatherer stage; hundreds of millions of people will die of starvation, blaming you with their dying breath.

It's ok, though - someone will come up with the idea in a few hundred years.


I wish I didn't have to wait for messagelabs.