Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Darkdragon]

You have llreach.

I wish the book Pseudomonarchia Dæmonum was actually stocked in my local book store and/or library.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted....unfortunately the pages are blank, thanks to the meddling of one Tom Riddle.


I wish for guidence

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You gain a fairy godmother who has a double life as somebody else's shoulder-devil.

I wish for a wolf like White Fang in the 1901 Jack London Novel of the same title. 

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. He eats you (and not in a good way).


I wish my back wasn't quite so sore.

[Darkdragon]

Despite the fact you don't have a back because you are a cardboard box huddling a Jyrass-esque member of the forum, your back is now sore free.

I wish my desk does not belie the fact I am a major multi-tasker.

[Angel]

Granted, but it becomes such a mess that multi-tasking becomes impossible.

I wish Africa's problems were solved.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted...Who's Africa again? oh well it must not be important.  I also  have this sneaking suspicion a whole continent disappeared from the face  of the earth... oh well, since there are only six continents anyway it's not such a big deal.


I wish for a stack of  supercalifragilisticixpealidocious pancakes, and I apsitively positutely do not want an splendifferous waffles, or dantifiona scones, or ferret ears  by accident.

[Jairus]

Granted. The pancakes are so perfect that you never eat another pancake in your life because you know that it can never measure up to those supercalifragilisticixpealidocious pancakes.

I wish that Joel Schumacher had been fired from the creation of Batman and Robin and Christopher Nolan had taken over way back then.

[Mao]

Granted.  Unfortunately it was too dark for it's time and it was squashed by the censors.

I wish I were on a paid and vacation that was approved by my office with my life and job still intact during and after it.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. The job that is still intact is working at a zoo. Ensuring the endangered animals reproduce.

... by hand. *cough*


I wish I were already asleep.

[VSMIT]

Granted.  Because you fell asleep so quickly, you have a hard time getting up, and you are late for work, which means that you get fired.

I wish I could learn C++ instead of Python for my Comp Science class.

[Rakala]

Granted. You learn it, then you get brain damage. C++ now takes up all of the information you can hold in your head. On the plus side, you didn't only learn C++, you are the greatest at it.

I wish I could beat Shining Force II.

[Vidar]

Granted, however, the cheating-device you used corrupted your game-cartridge, and it crashed 2 seconds into the ending.

I wish for a large raspberry pie!

[Jer-oh-me]

Granted, unfortunately in your excitement to get over and start eating it you trip and injure your jaw requiring it to be wired shut, leaving the pie to be eaten by me!

I wish I hadn't smashed my little digicam, it was a Canon SD1000, and I sniff every time I think about when I broke it.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. However, some ice cream got stuck in the wire outlets and to make a long story short, you are now unable to hold a battery charge for longer than three seconds.

I wish to befriend an angel.

[Omega]

It is done, however, no one will believe you. Prepare to get fond of really long sleeves.

I wish for wisdom

[Rakala]

Granted. You reach a point of enlightment that nobody can compare to. You're all alone.

I wish I could go back to innocence instead of experience.

[Mao]

Granted.  In fact, you gain the unique ability to always return to a the last point in you life in which you were last 'innocent'.  Unfortunately a big guy named Bubba seems to have taken a liking to you and your innocence and desperately wants to relieve you of it over and over and over...

I wish for better roads in my city.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. However, a few moments later it began to hail steel balls for some reason, and the roads couldn't bear the strain.

I wish to befriend a demon.

[Vidar]

Granted. As a gesture of friendship he envelopes your head in his mouth, and starts sucking.

I wish my migraine would stop.

[Mao]

Granted.  For some reason now everywhere else hurts...but your migraine has stopped.

I wish that corruption wasn't so rampant.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. However, all your future ones would be.

I wish during my wishes, including the ones yet to have made, there would be no inconveniences involved. 

[Rakala]

Granted. You just ruined the whole point  of the game and everybody hates you for it.

I wish I could be more decisive.

[Angel]

Granted, I think. Are you sure? Maybe not...

I wish I could communicate with my far-away friends telepathically.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. However, now you are unable to speak verbally.

I wish people played more card games.

[Jairus]

Granted. Card games are now serious business. Schools are founded where people are taught how to play cards games correctly, and the religions of the world are swiftly driven under a mountain of cards. The fate of entire nations now depends on card games.

Cool, I'm in!

I wish that celebrities would stop trying to be centers of attention by doing stupid things.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. Now instead of news about celebrities, news actually covers some important stuff, like the genocide in Sudan, Kashmir crisis, the war in Georgia, the Sri Lanka civil war, the embezzlement in the Chinese government, the one-party dictatorship in Singapore and poverty in Africa and Oceania. People are now so pessimistic and people get serious and nothing seems to have merriment any more.

I wish history classes actually taught history, not government propaganda mixed with a bit of history.

[Jairus]

Granted. All of the atrocities of history are revealed, and all of the old tensions are reawakened because humans can't let the past be and get on with their frigging lives.

I wish that Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg (the makers of Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, and Disaster Movie) had a modicum of talent.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. They just simply choose to neglect it.

I wish to be stronger and healthier.

[Mao]

Granted.  Unfortunately it only lasts a few seconds.

I wish for a bountiful and healthy harvest from my garden this year.