Favorite Quotes!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Of late, I'm thinking Einstein was overestimating.

"There are only two things that are infinite, the Universe and Human Stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe."

[e_voyager]

"time is not absolute but chaos is" a valiant comic cover.

[Angel]

"Okay, clearly (dodge) you are the textbook definition (dodge) of that noise you make (dodge) when you strum you finger up and down over your lips..."
-Spider-Man in a more recent comic

"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped there wasn't an afterlife."

(to the tune of the Nokia sing, holding a bazooka upright next to his ear) Oh, di-a-lo-do-dah-a-lo-do-di-a-lo-do DIE!"
-Strong Bad

"To be honest?"
"Yeah."
"I thought you were a narcissist."
"(laughs) I'm too ugly to be a narcissist."
-Ted Koppel talking with Morrie Schwartz, Tuesdays with Morrie

[Fuyudenki]

"Okay, clearly (dodge) you are the textbook definition (dodge) of that noise you make (dodge) when you strum you finger up and down over your lips..."
-Spider-Man in a more recent comic

That's going in my quote library.
Out of mine and a friend's curiosity, who was the villain?

[Angel]

I dunno who the villain was. He didn't say his name.

Oy. After a look, the comic isn't that recent - it's from 2004. They were redoing the Carnage arc, and the guy never said his name, but he had blue-gray scaly skin and yellow armor and a steel face-mask. He kept yelling "FREE NURHACHI!" Whether he was important or not, I have no idea.

[Fuyudenki]

not to derail the thread, but...Nurhachi is apparently an old, Chinese, dead dude.

So what you're saying, William, is that Napoleon is an old, dead dude.
-Bill and Ted's Excellent Advenuture

[Brunhidden]

Do not involve me in this thread, i don't handle temptation well

On strike

[Ryudo Lee]

"It's not right!" -Paris Hilton after a judge ordered her to return to jain to serve out her entire 45-day sentance.  Paris was taken out of the courtroom crying and screaming.

[techmaster-glitch]

BRENDA: Two things, Scolex! One, you are completely insane,
*Scolex rolls eyes*
BRENDA: And two I liked you better fat!!
*Scolex gasps, shocked*
*the cat meows, ducks under chair*
*Scolex still shocked for a moment, then gets a VERY evil grin*
SCOLEX: ....BRING ON THE BROWNIES! HA! Wheel in the waffles! I'm gettin' ready to binge!
-Inspector Gadget

[Vidar]

"Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my BOOMSTICK! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"   -Ash

"Groovy."     -Ash

"Well hello Mister Fancypants."  -Ash

"Yo, she-bitch! Let's go!"  -Ash

"Gimme some sugar, baby."  -Ash

"Come get some."  -Ash

"Hail to the king, baby."  -Ash

"Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun." -Ash

"Say hello to the twenty-first century!"  -Ash

"I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Sh**. And, Jack left town."  -Ash

"Klatu Veratu Ni..(COUGH!!)"  -Ash

"Name's Ash ...(cocks rifle) Housewares"  -Ash

"Keep your damn filthy bones outta my mouth."  -Ash

So what you're saying, William, is that Napoleon is an old, dead dude.
-Bill and Ted's Excellent Advenuture

That's a movie I have seen more often than is good for me.

"Four score and seven minutes ago, we, your forefathers, were brought forth on a most excellent adventure, conceived by our new friends: Bill and Ted. These two great gentlemen are true to a proposition, which was true in my time, just as it is true today: be easement to each other.
And... PARTY ON DUDES!"  - Abraham Lincoln (and yes, I quoted that from my mind. *hangs head in shame*)

[Fuyudenki]

That's a movie I have seen more often than is good for me.

"Four score and seven minutes ago, we, your forefathers, were brought forth on a most excellent adventure, conceived by our new friends: Bill and Ted. These two great gentlemen are true to a proposition, which was true in my time, just as it is true today: be easement to each other.
And... PARTY ON DUDES!"  - Abraham Lincoln (and yes, I quoted that from my mind. *hangs head in shame*)

I just quoted it to add validity to my post, and moreso to indicate exactly what I was trying to do with my Nurhachi comment.

wait... be easement to each other?  Don't you mean "be excellent to each other?"

I once gave an entire presentation on the Challenger space shuttle disaster in Bell-and-Tedd voice.

[techmaster-glitch]

Chptr. 1: The Press Gang
   Before the war, things were different. Hell, back then, we were just making our daily living, doing our jobs, drawing our paychecks, and stabbing our fellow men and women in the back. We had no idea how bad things would get. We were fat and happy like maggots on a dead animal. There was enough sporadic violence--rebellions and revolutions and balky colonial governments--to keep the military going, but not enough to really threaten the lifestyles we had grown accoustomed to. We were, in retrospect, fat and sassy.
   And if a real war broke out, well, it was the military's worry. The marines worry. Not ours.
-The Liberty Manifesto

Chptr. 2: The Cush Posting
   Sevice in the military, for those of you unfortunate enough never to have experienced it firsthand, consists of long periods of boredom broken by mind-shredding threats to one's life and sanity. From what I gather from the old tapes, it's always been that way. The best soldiers are those who can wake suddenly, react instantly, and aim precisely.
   Unfortunately, none of those traits are shared by the military  intelligence that controls those soldiers.
-The Liberty Manifesto

Chptr. 3: The Sara System
   The first contact with another sentient race, and they blow up a planet. Helluva calling card.
   Now, blowing up a planet is nothing new. Christ, we humans did it ourselves not too long ago.
   There was a revolt on the planet Korhal. The inhabitants didn't care much for the graft and corruption that was part and parcel of the Confederacy. They tried to rebel. At first the Confederacy tried a soft approach: they took out the rebellion's leaders with assasins, ghost-troopers armed with personal cloaking devices. Unsurprisingly, this just made the people of Korhal angrier and more rebellious. So the Confederacy took a hard line.
   We nuked Korhal from orbit.
   Apocalypse-class missles. 40,000 of them. Some green-tagged idiot on Tarsonis pressed a button, and 35 million people became nothing more than vapor and their homes nothing more than a memory.
   Natually, there were official justifications thereafter about the evil, menacing nature of Korhal, and how they were planning to do it to us if they got even the slightest chance. It was unfortunate that the proof of this accusation was located on a planet covered by blackened glass.
   I think that's what really scared the military about the vaporization of Chau Sara: that there was something else out there that was just as crazy as we were.
   And they were better at it then we were.
-The Liberty Manifesto

--Starcraft: Liberty's Crusade

[techmaster-glitch]

Chptr. 4: Down on Mar Sara
   There's a period in any war between the first blow and the second. It's a quite moment, an almost tranquil time, when the realization of what has happened is just sinking in an everyone feels they know what happens next. Some prepare to flee. Some prepare to hit back. But no one moves. Not yet.
   It's a perfect moment, when the ball is at the highest point of the throw. The action has been taken, and for one frozen moment everything is moving, but everything is at rest.
   Then there are those jackasses who can't leave such things alone. And the ball starts downward again, the second blow is thrown, and we plunge into the malestrom.
-The Liberty Manifesto

Chptr. 5: Anthem Base
   Nature abhors a vaccume, and human nature hates a lack of information. Where we can't find it, we go looking for it. In some cases we just invent it.
   That was the case in the Sara System. Willfully ignorant, we charged into the hinterland looking for answers--answers that we soon realized we didn't want to find.
   We were stupid to assume that we would be all right. We were stupid to go off half-cocked. We were stupid to go in undergunned. We were stupid to think that we understood what we were getting into.
   And we were most stupid of all to assume that the Protoss were the first alien race that humanity had met.
-The Liberty Manifesto

Chptr. 6: Creeps
   War is easy to understand on paper. It seems so distant and academic in black and white. Even the vid reports have a cool, detached manner that keeps the viewer from understanding how horrible it really is.
   This is nothing more than a sanity filter, allowing those that take in the information to separate the reports and numbers from the awful reality. It's why those who lead armies can do all sorts of terrible things to their troops that no sane man would think of if he had to look them in the eye. Which is one reason they don't.
   But when you're confronted with death, when you're confronted with having to deal out death or die yourself, then everything changes.
   The filter drops away, and you have to deal with the insanity directly.
-The Liberty Manifesto

--Starcraft: Liberty's Cusade

[Tapewolf]

"Now could I drink hot blood, and do such bitter business as the day would quake to look upon!"
--Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on.

— Hepler, Systems Design 182

[King Of Hearts]

The die has been cast.
-Julius Ceasar

[KarlOmega1]

What's that smell? ... Oh, it's just the troops.
--Necromancer unit from Warcraft 3

[King Of Hearts]

Marge: Homie! Bart just joined the army!

Homer: Pfft... by the time Bart turns 18, we already control the world.

...

We're China, right?

[Nikki]

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
       - David Viscott, How to Live with Another Person, 1974

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
       - Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

[King Of Hearts]

"Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
-Abraham Lincoln

"Perhaps I know why it is man alone who laughs: He alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter"
-Freidreich Neitszche

[superluser]

If Jesus Christ were to come to-day, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.
-Thomas Carlyle

[Janus Whitefurr]

"When the forces of darkness descend, in the name of justice, this fist! In the name of truth, these muscles! In the name of honour, this blood! Haa-haa! Champion of Truth and Justice, Grand Papillon! Ready to fight all evildoers! If you think you can face the unfettered fury of my rippling muscles then come on!"
~ Joachim Valentine, Shadow Hearts: Covenant

[techmaster-glitch]

Chptr 7: Deals
   Arcturus Mengsk. There's a name that is synonymous with terror, betrayal, and violence. A living example of the ends justifying the means. The assasin of the Confederacy of Man. The hero of the blasted world of Korhal. Kng of the universe. A savage barbarian who never let anyone or anything get in is way.
   And yet he is also charming, erudite, and intelligent. When you're in his presense you feel that he's really listening to you, that you're opinions matter, that you're someone important if you agree with him.
   It's amazing. I have often wondered if men like Mengsk don't carry around their own reality-warping bubbles, and all who fall in are suddenly transported to another dimention where the hellish things he says and does suddenlhy make sense.
   At least, that's the effect he always had on me.
-The Liberty Manifesto

Chptr 8: Zerg and Protoss
   It would be easy to declare that Arcturus Mengsk was a master manipulator, which he was, or that he regularly decieved others, which is true as well. But it would be a mistake to deny all personal responsibility of falling into his web.
   It seems now the height of folly to ever have delt with the man, but think of the situation when the Sara system died. You had the mindless beasts of the Zerg on one side, and the unholy fury of the Protoss on the other. And in the middle you had the criminal bureaucracy of the old Confederacy of Man, which was willing to write off the population of two planets just to learn more about their enemies.
   With such a surplus of devils in the universe, what did it matter if there was one more?
-The Liberty Manifesto

Chptr. 9: Marshal and Ghost
   James Raynor was the most decent man I ever encountered during the fall of the Confederacy. Everyone else, I can safely say, was either a victem or a villain, or quite often both.
   At first was, Raynor seems like a backwoods cowboy, one of the good old boys that you see in bars swapping lies about the days gone by. There's a cocksureness, an overconfidance that just makes you bridle initially. Yet over time you come to see him as a valuable aly and--dare I say it?--a friend.
   It all comes  from belief. Jim Rayno belived in himself, and he believed in those around him. And from that belief came the strength that allowed him and those who followed him to survive everything else the universe threw at him.
   Jim Raynor was a mos decent, honorale man. I suppose that's why his tragedy is the greatest tragedy in this godforsaken war.
-The Liberty Manifesto

Chptr 10: The Wreck of the Norad II
   There's an old earth word. It's called Schadenfreude--the felling of elation that comes from learning of the suffering of others. Like when a rival newsman is suddenly caught cursing in front of a live mike, or that a particularly corrupt alderman just stepped in front of a garbage truck. It's the felling of elation accompanied by a twinge of guilt for feeling so good, and the silent, fervent prayer that something that bad never happens to you.
   With the Protoss and the Zerg biting deep into Confederate territory, we had schadenfreude in buckets.
-The Liberty Manifesto

Chptr 11: Chess
   I played chess with Arcturus Mengsk. I lost regularly, by the way. Someday I'll probably be dragged before some high justice and told that this was a crime against the state, but I will have no defence other than losing more times than I won. More often than not, Mengsk would dangle some bait in front of me in a game, and I would snap at it, only to discover too late that I had been distracted from the trap he was setting.
   The entire human campaign against the Zerg was similar, consisting of a series of defeats, each one more alling then the last because each time we ignored what was realling going on. our first warnings that theZerg were planetside usually came too late, when the creep appeared on our doorsteps or the Protoss warped in with their thunder-god ships.
   We thought we could escape it. Some of us, incuding Mengsk himself, thought we could control it. But we were all pawns in a greater game.
   No, not pawns. Dominos. Each falling in turn, person after person, planet after planet, until we reached the biggest one of them all, the one called Tarsonis.
-The Liberty Manifesto

--Stacraft: Liberty's Crusade

[TheGreyRonin]

 (At a wedding, to the bride:) "Your family and I go back a long way, Lady," he said. "Did you know that I shot your father on Melpomene? Between the eyes, so that he could see it coming." - Major Joachim Steuben, Standing Down

"Always do your best work at any task, especially the ones you hate. This reduces the likelihood of having to do it over." - Stalker

"Rules of the Game of Life: 1. You can't win. 2. You can't break even. 3. You can't even quit the game..." - Stalker

"I began to sense faintly that secrecy is the keystone of all tyranny. Not force, but secrecy...censorship. When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to it's subjects, This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know, the end result is tyranny and oppression, no matter how holy the motives. Mighty little force is needed to control a man whose mind has been hoodwinked, contrariwise, no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything---you can't conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him." -  John Lyle

"Callahan's Law: Shared pain is lessened; shared joy is increased." - Mike Callahan

"Lady Sally's Law: Shared despair is squared; shared hope is cubed ( or better: Raised to the power of infinity?)." - Lady Sally McGee

"I'm not afraid of death. Death would be a comfort. No, my friend, it's life I'm worried about." - Stalker

[techmaster-glitch]

*Immunity cell on police scanner*
The suspect is head for the uvula! Repeat, suspect is headed for the uvula!
OSMOSIS: What the hell is a you-voo-luh?
DRIX: It's that dangly thing that hangs out of Frank's-
OSMOSIS: Boxer shorts! Ok!
DRIX: No, not that dangly thing, the one in his throat!
OSMOSIS: . . . ...Oh. I knew that. I knew that!
-Osmosis Jones

[Tapewolf]

"Not to be used for the other use"
--On a Japanese food processor

[Drake Manaweilder]

"Cuz I'm a GNOME, #####!"
-a friend of mine during DnD

(while talking about the Battery Mimics)
" ..they'll give the power back if you ask nicely. Sticking them with a sword helps too."
-Balthier, Final Fantasy 12

"But... If pickles could fly, they'd form an army..."
-Seth, Secret of Mana Theater

[Angel]

"OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!"

So I did."

-From Weird Al's masterpiece, "Albuquerque"

"What's a hypoteneuse?"
"Y'know, that thing between the legs..."
-My little brother and me

"Lay on, Macduff,
And damned be he that first cries 'Hold, enough!'"
-Macbeth

[Ryudo Lee]

(In a not so recent DnD game, one of the players was explaining to my character, the druid, about Limbo and how there's no nature there.)
Him: No, there's no nature in Limbo.
Me: How can you not have any nature under a stick?
Him: *Makes a face*
Me: Everybody say Jamaica!

[techmaster-glitch]

'Thus does your argument FAIL!!!!"
-Proffesor Fate (Proffate)