A sword... Opinions wanted

[thegayhare]

Hello all

I don't know how many of you know this but I'm a huge fan of weapons.  Generaly I like Axes, hammers, and maces, but it's easier to find swords for a reasonable price.

So Whats that got to do with anything?  Well I'm also a cook and while strumming threw the internet I spotted a weapon I truely must have.



The thing that atracted my attention was the shape of the blade,  It's almost the exact same shape and curve as a Chefs knife.



See it's all in the shape, it's designed to be very versital,  a good cook rarely ever needs anouther knife,

so tell me do you think that the bunny would look good in full cook regalia with that balanced on his shoulder?

*sheepish grins*
A silly post I know but  I'm not sure if I should get it or not

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Do -not- argue with the cook.

No, really. Don't argue with the cook.


*giggle*

[Aridas]

I don't see why they even bother saying it's from Bleach, since they could just as easily say it was a giant knife and probably sell it as well

A little touching up of the handle and it would definitely look like a regular knife. You'd probably scare a few people dressed like that, too.

[bill]

Why don't you just use the chef's knife? 

[Sid]

At 3.5 feet, it's more like the smaller brother of Ichigo's sword there. Or the missing link between the sword and the kitchen knife. Then again, shipping a real-life version of that sword would be total overkill

As for the effect, why not? It'd certainly make an interesting picture to wield it while wearing cooking-related clothes

[thegayhare]

I don't see why they even bother saying it's from Bleach, since they could just as easily say it was a giant knife and probably sell it as well

A little touching up of the handle and it would definitely look like a regular knife. You'd probably scare a few people dressed like that, too.

Well the site I found it on specilises in movie and tv weapons
(I should show my sister the gun blade... she might one one)

If I were still dating my ex foxy I'd be sorely tempted to get him the keyblade they were selling too.

as for the handle I'm sure I can find something, smokey mountian knife works sells a wide variaty of , handles, blades, and pommels for do it yourselfers so I'll be able to find something that matches.

here is the site

http://www.trueswords.com/

Do -not- argue with the cook.

No, really. Don't argue with the cook.


*giggle*

*Glares at the dinners sitting at the table*

Now which one of you complained about my meal.

[Cogidubnus]

For $50.00, your not getting ripped off to badly. Don't expect anything more than machined 440 stainless.

Just the martial arts snobbery coming through there.

[Mel Dragonkitty]

And it should be stored on the kitchen wall, preferably above the knife rack for maximum amusement value. "Filet knife, bread knife, don't insult the chef knife..."

[thegayhare]

And it should be stored on the kitchen wall, preferably above the knife rack for maximum amusement value. "Filet knife, bread knife, don't insult the chef knife..."

I like that

sorta the culinary equivilent of the complaint department grenade

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

*Glares at the dinners sitting at the table*

Now which one of you complained about my meal.

Me. It was lovely, there just wasn't a handy chef to compliment. :-)

[Zorro]

You would spend you money more wisely for a WWII manufacture Japanese Katana for about $500.

They are NOT in the same class as the older ones but they are real swords and less than $1000.

[DigitalMan]

For $50.00, your not getting ripped off to badly. Don't expect anything more than machined 440 stainless.

Just the martial arts snobbery coming through there.

That's a good point. Smaller knives actually for cooking, or even daggers, will do fine as stainless. But that thing is as long as a katana, so I wouldn't suggest using it for anything more than display.

[Zedd]

Ah my grandfather was a cook and he still makes the best meals...

[Sid]

You would spend you money more wisely for a WWII manufacture Japanese Katana for about $500.

...always assuming that he doesn't mind the factor of TEN in the price.

And I believe it's mostly about the visual gag because Ichigo's sword really looks like an oversized butcher's knife, while a Katana... doesn't.

[Distracting]

I'm not entirely sure how it would be plausible to actually use a sword with that design. Personally, I'd much prefer a scimitar or in the least, a machete.

[thegayhare]

While at work today I had a truly bizarre Idea

I was thinking about my bunny chef with the sword and I had a thought

The chefs knife isn't  a chefs only knife.  Its the one that considered the master knife the main knife but at it's core there are 3 knives that cook should have.  As versatile as the chefs knife is i the hands of a master the other two are needed for there own tasks

These are a pairing knife for small intricate work (though the chef who taught me could use his chefs knife to do most of this)

A boning/ filleting knife for working around joints and bones.  its a long thin straight knife

So I thought a Chefs sword set would require 3 swords A pairing sword (a strait short single edged sword, with a wide blade.),  Then you'd need a Boning sword  (A long thin   strait blade , like a rapier) and the Chefs sword  like the one I mentioned above.

Then I had another Idea,  an Elite school for Combat Cooks.  They are a small group generally hiring out as monster hunters (each has a collection of recipes for almost any monster you may encounter) Others are hired as personal chefs and bodyguards.

When a Young cook is allowed to enroll in the school they are issued there pairing sword.  It is the basic weapon of A Cook of the line.  It is the tool used threw out there basic training.  They learn the basics of hand to hand combat. Some never progress beyond Cook of the line.

After basic training they are chosen for there disciplines. 

Some go on to be healers or Master Bakers, capable of creating powerfull pastries capable of healing almost any damage and curing ills,  there only standard weapon is there pairing sword, most also carry another weapon such as a heavy baking paddles or steel plated rolling pins.  some can also unleash devastating confections (think RJ's muffins)

Some are Chosen to be Sauciers or Sorcerers.  Powerfull magic users capable of manipulating the elements, and brewing powerfull magic potions in the form of tasty soups.  Upon becoming a Saucier they are granted a Boning sword though most rarely use it preferring ladels or wooden spoons to manipulate the elements.

And others are chosen to be Master Chefs.  Master Chefs are trained long and hard in hand to hand combat progressing on to the boning sword, and finally upon graduation they are granted there Chefs sword.  There are other martial disciplines that some chefs persue some are experts with the thrown steel skewer, others prefer massive tenderising mallets.  These are the finest monster hunters there are.  not only will they hunt down your marauding creature, they'll serve it up to you in a tasty stew.

regardless of of there discipline they are identifiable by there uniform.  White leather armored buff jackets, and black trousers.  Each discipline has it's own distingushing piece of headware.  Chefs have the tall fluted hats, Bakers a short puffy hat, and Sauciers have a short flat topped cap.

Sorry yes I'm rather odd.

[Nikki]

TGH..i want your imagination ;;

[LionHeart]

Reminds me of the Discworld dwarfs, and their "battle breads" and "combat muffins"...

Certainly gives a whole new meaning to the "Iron Chefs" (if you've heard of the show at all).

[Brunhidden]

in terms of effectiveness- that weapon right there is about as unweildly as attacking someone using a office chair. that design only works for small utensils.

i suggest sticking to axes- by far the most practical, deavestating, and unquestionably the most lethal of the mele weapons. they also look pretty cool so theres plenty of decoritive ones around. trained historians (no lies, i saw this on the history chanel) were testing medieval weapons agaisnt each other for practicality, an axe weilder versus a sword and shield landed thirteen blows on the swordsmans shield whiel the swordsman didnt land one blow and actually fell to the ground. had it been a real battle with sharp weapons the shield would have been cleaved, the swordsmans left arm full of shattered bone, and a rather large head wound. even dull axes of incredibly unweildly display models can be used to kill things.

hammers, depends on the kind. the authentic war hammers had rather small heads actually, as opposed from the fantasy ones which are really freaking huge. the idea was to concentrate the blow on a small point to easily pierce armor and bone. sadly there werent many varieties sinse its kind of a one trick pony weapon which often got stuck in people. not very pretty, but its got a real old world charm to it.

maces- my personal favorite, i actually own a germanic flanged mace. its made of black steel with brass embelishments and a leather grip. some maces can look very nice, particularly replicas of the one used by sauron in the first LOTR movie. an effective weapon, limited mostly by its short reach, works on the principal that if you can dent a helmet that dent carries on through the skull. not the easyest to find a suitable place to display, especially with how it projects from the wall at one end.

the variety of swords out there is limitless, being one fo the supposedly 'cooler' weapons despite not being very widely used in history and in fact being kinda hard to use effectively too. for display pieces, pick a sword, whichever one looks pretty. if you want to actually swing it talk to someone like me who is actully capable of making the fliberdy gibbet things so you can learn a bit about physics. swords make it really easy to decorate a room, but they also make it really easy to decorate a room badly.


oh yes, for purposes of personal safety i keep a very rusty machettie next to my front door. its not the best weapon for killign people but its verry effective at intimidation while still being easy to swing. take that you nosy little girlscouts, come around here again and you can find out why the jehova witnesses stopped showing up.

I love my pieces of pointy metal, I make sure to kiss them and tuck them into bed every night.

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[Teroniss]

Meh, if your buying it for the Bleach perspective, you much better off just getting the Tensa Zangetsu replica. Much nicer looking sword imho.

[Valynth]

Zanbatous are infamous for being unwieldy, but what they lack in finesse they make up for is sheer brute strength, supposedly (if you can manage to even lift the darned thing).  Essentially you'll be left with two offensive options with the blade:  a straight downward slash(which risks getting stuck in all manner of obstacles) and a diagonal slash which (due to inertia) risks taking your arm with it as well as its potential to get caught in a wall or other object.  As for defense you have:  hide behind the blade and pray.  Overall, a bad weapon of choice for any type combat.  Honestly, I think the guys who wanted to make this sword type were compensating for something 

[Netami]

Honestly, I think the guys who wanted to make this sword type were compensating for something 

TGH, how big is your penis?

[thegayhare]

 

I doubt you folks realy wanna know the size of my penis

Why can't a guy like a big chopper with out people thinking he's trying to make up for something else.  Jeeze  as I stated my desier form this particular sword stems from it's resemblance to the tools of my true love.


I'd love to get my hands on a couple of the borderline weapons though

I got one nice one already It's a maquatal it's on that fin line between a club and a sword,  but the ones I wish I could get  are on the other end  I've seen an black powder axe I'd love to own,  and actualy I bet a pepper shaker (a type of club I've seen with a series of small ball and powder chambers in the tip,  popular for a short time with some traveling monks)

[Alondro]

If sword compensation were truly the case, then virtually every character in Bleach would be saying, "Japanese penis isa so small... we are just humble Japanese toy company?  What can we possibly do with sucha small penis?"   They have really really big swords... 

PS:  Evil powah is... United States Government!  Destroy evil powah! 

[Netami]

I bet it's three and a half feet of solid STEEL.

[Brunhidden]

I bet it's three and a half feet of solid STEEL.

lets pray its not sharp, chances are you would need some serious pressure to actually 'fit' anyways so lets not add perforation to injury.



okay- before you buy any swordlike weapon i would like you to ask yourself the question "do i ever in my life plan to SWING this silly thing?"

if you answer "yes" heres a good guide.

- the average sledgehammer weighs 8 pounds. hold one horizontal to your body at chest height and see how long you can suspend it. if you have any difficulty doing so choose a sword under 6 pounds, if you have no difficulty holding it for a full minute you can consider up to a 10 pound sword. dont worry, swords come in womens and childrens sizes too for some reason. a sledgehammer has the weight twoards the tip so its a bit extreme, but it is still a good guide due the more complex wrist requirements of swords

- place the swords tip on the ground and hold it vertical at arms length. if you plan to wield it with one hand it should be at least a few inches shorter then your waist. if you plan on weilding it in two hands it should be between waist and armpit height with the grip being at least two and a half times as wide as your hand. if you plan on using a longer sword you should also plan on a third arm or replacing an existing arm with industrial grade cybernetics.

- make sure whoever made the sword saw fit to remember to place a pommel on it as a counterweight. for those of you who dont know sword lingo its the little round thing you usually find at the end furthest from the pointy bit. you have no idea how much of a diffrence the few  ounces that weighs means to usign a sword.

- if you plan to get a sword made of plastic, fiberglass, zinc, any ferrous material containing a carbon percentage over 4%, anything containing the prefix 'polyvynyl', or any steel labled as "1018 cold rolled" do yourself a favor and stab yourself in the kneecap with a ballpoint pen untill the urge to buy swords recedes. for a good sword look for steel alloys containing tungsten, nickel, inconel, or labled as "type D tool steel".

live by the sword, kill by the sword, become rich by the sword, get drunk and hire hookers by the sword, and hopefully still be too drunk to feel it when you die by the sword

[/glow]

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

... what if you -don't- plan on swinging it around? :-)

[Valynth]

Anyone else miss the fact that I was taking about the makers of the design and not the guys who use and/or want it?

[Cogidubnus]

- if you plan to get a sword made of plastic, fiberglass, zinc, any ferrous material containing a carbon percentage over 4%, anything containing the prefix 'polyvynyl', or any steel labled as "1018 cold rolled" do yourself a favor and stab yourself in the kneecap with a ballpoint pen untill the urge to buy swords recedes. for a good sword look for steel alloys containing tungsten, nickel, inconel, or labled as "type D tool steel".

Or, better yet, go for the Tamagahane.

A good rule of thumb is, if it's affordable, it's probably no good. If you would have to go into debt to buy it, then you look at it.

Wallhanger's sure are pretty though.

[Brunhidden]

... what if you -don't- plan on swinging it around? :-)

then the only rule of thumb is that it has to fir though your doorway and you must have some way of mounting it to a wall or leaning it somewhere it wont fall over

A good rule of thumb is, if it's affordable, it's probably no good. If you would have to go into debt to buy it, then you look at it.

Wallhanger's sure are pretty though.

not nessicarilly, various tool grade steels are affordable despite being in a higher price range as cheaper materials. besides, if you choose the right material youve suddenly got something you can actually hand down a generation or five.

oh, for thsoe of you who didnt know the metalurgical term for any ferrous material containing over 4% carbon is "crap iron" due to it corroding at lightnign speed and being as brittle as glass, and "1018 cold rolled steel" is known as "shit steel" and is about two steps away from beign a byproduct of steel production while haveing all of the bad aspects of steel (rust, heavy, more expensive then it should be) while having drawbacks which are uncharicteristic of good steel (dents easily, stress exiists in teh metals gran, warping like a piece of wet 2x4)

When it comes down to the metal hitting the meat, be sure you are the one holding the metal.

[/glow]