CVD RPG

[Castle Pokemetroid]

I have started my own "web comic" of sorts. So far I have ten done. Here is the first one:



Julius Belmont is the main character. (By the way, the first one is of the worst one of quality)

The "circle" in it is my signature for it and I will put it in every one, because I made them.

The logo is in my Sig. The letters stand for the following: CastleVania Destiny Role-Playing Game. It is when Julius finds his destiny.

Tell me what ya guys think. New one tomorrow.

[Damaris]

I think that CVD RPG is awfully close to CV RPG, which could get people confused easiy.  I think that CV Destiny, or something shorter, would probably be better.

[Castle Pokemetroid]

I think that CVD RPG is awfully close to CV RPG, which could get people confused easy.  I think that CV Destiny, or something shorter, would probably be better.

Kay. CV Destiny it is. I don't want ta change the logo in my Sig though. I will sometime. Just not now.

By the way, new one:


This is the first chapter. I name it by chapters, not each comic strip. This is the Graham chapter and it is three comic strips long. I like ta keep things short.

If ya can't find out how to read it, ask. I don't think anyone will have that problem though.

[Castle Pokemetroid]

The third one:


Tell me what you think. And for a heads up, when the story gets far enough, I may alow you to put your own charaters in to join Julius. But you will need your own sprites.

[GabrielsThoughts]

It occurs to me that you don't really use more than a 500 x 500 area to do the sprites, and As amazing as the backgrounds are I would rather be able to read the dialouge in the thought bubbles...

and not to be knit picky,but I'm not exactly clear on what's going on... It's not funny. Nobody cares about "hey a hallway..."  "I wonder where it will lead me too" unless they are playing the game and the game gives them a choice.

Since the reader has no choice one way or the other concider changing the first one to reflect julius saying "hmm, an empty hallway " in the frist bubble and  " all I want is a room somewhere..." in the second bubble, or you could use "I feel pretty" or some other humorus showtune.

I would change the second to continue the first comics humor with Julias continuing to sing "...and I pitty any girl who isn't met tonigh-ahh! Gram!" Gram would say something like "What are you doing?" and julias would reply  "nothing I was just wondering what you were doing here?"

the third would continue the line of questioning by julias "So...why are you here"  and Grahm " I don't have time for this." and julias could then wonder what it was all about as before.

[Aridas]

You sound more like you want to entirely rewrite his work... not that it as a whole is any good to begin with..

[GabrielsThoughts]

no, just the introduction. I beleive you have to peak intrest in the first three pages or no one will want to read it.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

"pique"ing someone's inerest might be easier. peaking would mean they get bored after that, surely? :-)

[Aridas]

Well, I can say by having thoroughly read "How Not To Run A Webcomic", that this comic will probably be a failure if it keeps this single-panel, read-by-number format anyway.

[Castle Pokemetroid]

It's not my fault. Used it as an example on another forum. And this isn't supposed ta be funny. But I swear it'll get better near the 7th one. But for the next 2 ones, well they'll be crap. So tomorrow, I'll put both at once.

As for the talking problem, it'll be a pain for both me and you, since it'll be a pain ta do and I take the easy way. I'm not sure if I want ta change it. Give me more ideas.

Forth one:

This is the third and last one to the Graham chapter. The next chapter will be from here till the 12th one. That chapter gets a bit funny.

News:
You can give me ideas for what ever I should do like add this character or do this. I'll also need more backrounds, cause I only have so many. I'll reuse some many times as a heads up.
You can also give me your own character sprites, so they can join Julius.

[Castle Pokemetroid]

What I promised: Two new ones.
Fifth one:


Sixth one:


I'll admit, the day I made these, I was lazy and made the same thing with different dialogue.

[GabrielsThoughts]

my eyes! they burn!

[Castle Pokemetroid]

my eyes! they burn!

If it's that bad, tell me how to improve.

[Darkmoon]

They did. You ignored them.

[Castle Pokemetroid]

They did. You ignored them.

Kay. Here's the new update:
Numba seven:

This one was kinda hard. The Balore and Gergoth sprites were hard ta deal with. I hope I won't need ta use them again.

(As a warning, the next one till the 12th one will be the same backround.)

*Edit*
Dang, it was too big so the quality became worse than the first one. Didn't expect that.

Try this:
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l229/C-P_06/CVD7.jpg

[Zina]

If you're going to have the dialouge on the bottom, what's the point in having speech bubbles at all?

[Castle Pokemetroid]

If you're going to have the dialouge on the bottom, what's the point in having speech bubbles at all?

To show the order of the talking. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Zina]

Once you've established who's who, wouldn't just having the names next to the dialouge be enough?  Have both speech bubbles and script dialouge underneath the pictures is redundant and makes the panels look very cultured or unfinsihed. It looks like you're planing on putting the words in the speech bubbles, but haven't gotten around to it yet. Choose one or the other. In my opinion, using just speech bubbles would be best, as it would be easier to read and would make the scene flow much better.

[Castle Pokemetroid]

Once you've established who's who, wouldn't just having the names next to the dialouge be enough?  Have both speech bubbles and script dialouge underneath the pictures is redundant and makes the panels look very cultured or unfinsihed. It looks like you're planing on putting the words in the speech bubbles, but haven't gotten around to it yet. Choose one or the other. In my opinion, using just speech bubbles would be best, as it would be easier to read and would make the scene flow much better.

I don't know. I think that speech bubbles make take up too much of the backround art. I can give the kind of speech bubbles on DSWC a try though . . .

Update:
Number eight:
I already know this one is also big, so link:
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l229/C-P_06/CVD8.png

This one and the next one was so freaken hard!!! This one dose have a bit of humor though . . .

[Castle Pokemetroid]

I got to it:
The redo of number one in the DSWC type of talking:


Also got a new sig. It has all the characters so far and characters that will be sure to show up, as in upcoming characters.

[GabrielsThoughts]

way better.

[Castle Pokemetroid]

way better.

Thought so. I'll only put it on the bottom on certain ones. From now on I'll use this. You'll have to wait until the forteenth one till more talking that's not on the bottom.

[GabrielsThoughts]

 to quote Chibi Abel Rewanz  "NOOOOOOOOO!"

[Zina]

The thing you have to realize is that, no matter how pretty the background art is, the reader...doesn't really care. It's there to provide a setting, but the viewer doesn't tend to pay much mind to it, and rarely will appreciate how pretty it is. How often do you read a comic and stop and admire the background art for a bit?
The main point shouldn't be the background. It should be the characters and the plot. If that means covering up the background with speech bubbles, then so be it.  Your last one with the speech bubbles looked MUCH better and more readable, in my opinion.
Another suggestion I would make is to drop the one-panel thing and try doing a strip of three or so. It would definatly aid in moving the story along. Otherwise you might lose your readers.

[King Of Hearts]

My $.02

scrap the whole screen concept, zoom into the characters to give them character. There's way too much empty space. That and remember that using panels is not a crime, people like Gary Larson can use one screen well but it takes effort to pull off effectively.

[Azlan]

Indeed, background receives a second of attention... but the plot is of importance as already stated.  Cutting the open space would definitely be good for certain scenes, I generally don't have a problem if some panels are not uniform, but generally you don't need prodigious amounts of space.

A good example of excellent backgrounds, good sprites and decent plots would be Plague's Misadventures...

http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Subcomics/Plague/

[Aridas]

yeah. And extra space that isn't taken up by speech bubbles or characters themselves is usually considered really bad. backgrounds are usually only to give a general idea of what's going on and where the people are. It's not necessary to show it. Especially in sprite comics, really... Most of them tend to be backgroundless, probably only with a bg fill in paint for panels.

Also, as you have it so far, way too little happens in way too long a time... (your first "comic" does nothing, explains nothing, and fails to hook anyone. Your comic would bomb.) Try to flesh out the story and switch to a panel comic, hopefully with a bit of movement. It also wouldn't hurt not to cut a huge hole in between scenes, and at least illustrate the journey between the two over a few of them. Maybe toss in a little chatter between characters, or a monologue, either something serious, or give it a punchline. Whatever is appropriate for the situation.

[GabrielsThoughts]

also your  comic reminds me too much of 'space devil' for some reason...
if one of your characters craves a pepsi or wants to wear a box as battle armor I suggest you re tool your comic.
I know Tim, and I'm not sure if he'd be happy.

[Castle Pokemetroid]

Okay. From now on two or three panels and no talking on bottom. As for funny things to say, I don't know any. Please tell me master!

Update:
Two today, since this one is only an attack:
Number nine:
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l229/C-P_06/CVD9.png
Ten:
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l229/C-P_06/CVD10.png

I know I screwed up, so to make up for it and to make it closer to number 14,

Number eleven:
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l229/C-P_06/CVD11.png

Do notice that 50 year olds do have bad eyes. Just a point out in one of my comics there.

[Netami]

Learn to draw furries castlevania in an anime style and you'll be rich!