Ben "Tikiman", can't believe you're gone

Sofox · August 26, 2011, 01:26:46 PM

In total, I've seen Ben in real life for only a small amount of time, but somehow we squeezed in a lot of stuff.

He gave me tips on how to develop my avatar, he had this really funny "I am not a furry" rant that I negleted to record (to his disappointment), he told me I looked like JD from Scrubs much to my chargrin (all in good fun), he gave me a discount on his art, drew my character, gave spoilers on Balade's webcast for his titularly similar webcomic (THEY FIND THE ICE CREAM PLACE CLOSED!!!), told me how he'd got involved in the furry fandom (NSFW) and proudly displayed a bag of magazines he'd bought from the local shop (also NSFW).

I remember he'd casually make himself out to be a jerk, say he wasn't nice to others; yet when I came up to him and Mason sitting down and asked if they'd seen the power adapter for my Asus eee, I always remember how they both instantly got up and looked for it, going all the way across the large room (the Zoo) to where my laptop had been plugged in last.

Another time after registration, I had to grab something and they said they'd wait for me. Like a jerk, I got caught up talking with others and figured Ben and his friend would move on, but after some time I finally realised I had to be sure, returned to the meeting place... and found them there. They'd wanted to make sure I was okay. The guilt trip lasted a bit.

I remember that time Ben, Mason, Tapewolf, Gabi and I all sat at a food place on the monday after the AC. Mason and Ben had even already eaten, they just came to share company. Among other memorable comments Ben made ("I just realised, I'm the only American at this table!"), he also mentioned how there were things in his past that he now wanted to do differently. I understood that there were somethings he wanted to change in his life, and I wished him the best of luck with them.

Given the little time I spent with him, there's probably so much more about him I don't know, huge parts of his life I have no idea about; but in one sense, it doesn't matter. I liked being around him, I enjoyed his company, I'm sad that he's gone and it sucks I'll never see him again.

Ben, if you're out there, thanks for an awesome time; and if I may be as bold to say so, thanks for being a friend.

Tapewolf · August 26, 2011, 02:25:50 PM

Glad you got a picture of him, because I don't think I did. The closest I have is of his stand at AC where Amber had tipped her pencil shavings into his drink.

Sofox · August 26, 2011, 05:39:22 PM

I've a couple of different photos of him, including the one where I first saw him as "the guy sitting beside Amber" If you'd like to see more of him, you can take a look at some of my AC photo collections (ps, if you find yourself in a photo you don't want on the web, PM me with the photo filename)

http://www.sofoxcentral.com/Anthrocon/photos2008/alowrespicviewer.php
http://www.sofoxcentral.com/Anthrocon/photos2009/alowrespicviewer.php

JackTheCubiWolf · August 26, 2011, 08:07:41 PM

I know I haven't posted in a while but I read his comic. It had a really good story, and it's sad he'll never get to finish it. I wish I had a chance to meet him, he sounded like a nice guy. R.I.P. man.

Zedd · August 26, 2011, 11:25:23 PM

He was such a cool guy,gave me a lord of a chuckle or two

Gabi · August 27, 2011, 11:12:16 AM

Well... in the end I believe we made him admit that he was a furry because he went to AC to sell his furry art (and to make his amazing 15 second sketches).

In any case, it was shocking when I read the news. I don't think there's much more that I can say right now which I haven't already said in the other thread. I do wish his friends and family the best, although I know it will take time for them to get over the loss. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with him and I'm still sad. But I guess... like Sofox, I too can thank him for the good times. And for this:

Alondro · August 27, 2011, 09:26:45 PM

He is now the 3rd person I knew directly from Anthrocon to die.

Mufasalion a couple years ago, Darkwolfie last year, and now Ben.

Shadrok · August 29, 2011, 01:23:41 AM

I don't really know what to say, I didn't know Ben personally. I'd followed his art since '03, and the news of his passing left me speechless and teary eyed (and sill does). May be it's because through his art and rants I saw glimpses of who he was. Either way he'll be greatly missed.

Damaris · August 29, 2011, 10:39:36 PM

He tagged along to our house one year after AC - he was definitely a card and a half. Some of my favorite stories are from that visit

I think the best is the CVRPG fanart sketch showdown that happened that week

Wildy · August 30, 2011, 04:29:42 PM

Grblrffff..

WTF? Been gone too long. I must find this thread about what the hell happened..

llearch n'n'daCorna · August 31, 2011, 11:25:46 AM

There wasn't one. It was merely in respond to Ambaargh's rant, mostly. And she's requested that we don't replicate those, so the content is lost, and merely the emotions remain. :-/

Amber Williams · August 31, 2011, 03:33:16 PM

Normally I'm not a fan of saving my rants, but in this case I'll take the time to go into more detail on the matter. At least this is from my understanding...and I fully admit I could have gotten some facts wrong.

About a month prior (I remember this mainly because it was the fourth of July weekend actually) Ben collapsed at his house and was found by his father. They rushed him to the hospital (At the time Ben was able to still follow basic commands and move but required a lot of assistance) and the doctors assumed it was a particular situation that wasn't going to be as serious. However once they actually got him into surgery they realized it was a lot worse than what they anticipated.

More or less Ben was suffering from Gaseous Gangrene primarily in his lower back to upper thighs (in laymans terms, his buttocks area). Because of the area it was in, it was affecting his nervous system as well as just being well...horribly awful. Gangrene in and of itself is pretty awful, Gaseous Gangrene triple so. Especially in an area that cannot be easily amputed like the extremity of ones limbs. Ben went through a few surgeries and thats when I got the first call letting me know he was in the hospital. The doctors told his family that there was a high risk that he wouldn't make it through the night. Ben actually slipped into a coma during this time (between the surgery, the toxic shock, and just overall...arghalgh of it) and there was a really stressful time because unlike in movies and tvs, there is a high risk someone may not come out of a coma.

But Ben did thankfully. And ultimately began to come around to a point of recovery. There was nerve damage in the sense Ben lost feeling in his right hand (his drawing hand even) and his left leg...but there was signs that with physical therapy he would very likely get use of both of them again. I talked to Ben a couple times in the hospital and for the most part all signs began pointing to him pulling through. The most dire and tense situation had passed and Ben actually a few weeks later was allowed to return home though there would still be a lot of medical care issues.

August 21st (I remember this also because it was my birthday weekend) Ben went to lay down to rest. And when his father came in to check on him he was gone. He died of a pulmonary embolism (in the sense that it was likely a bloodclot from where all his surgery was...and it managed to travel up into his heart/lungs).

As I mentioned in my rant on the front page, it has been an upsetting time for me. In the conversations I had with Ben after his initial scare, he talked of his goals and plans and the things he was going to do now that he had this second chance...and so for it to be ripped away from him so soon after just feels heartbreaking in and of itself.

Sofox · August 31, 2011, 05:19:35 PM

That sounds terrible, I didn't know all that.
Thanks for letting us know, he's in my prayers.

llearch n'n'daCorna · September 02, 2011, 10:01:42 AM

Quote from: Amber Williams on August 31, 2011, 03:33:16 PM
Normally I'm not a fan of saving my rants, but in this case I'll take the time to go into more detail on the matter.

Your willingness to go over what is obviously a painful subject, again, on our behalf, is greatly appreciated. Thankyou for the update.

And, uh, *hugs* again.

Wildy · September 02, 2011, 04:38:42 PM

Thank you for that update Amber. My *hugs* to you as well. I was stunned and confused when I came back and saw this thread. I'm glad Ben had you to talk to.

Sending my love,

Wildy

Gabi · September 03, 2011, 05:51:07 PM

Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on September 02, 2011, 10:01:42 AM
Your willingness to go over what is obviously a painful subject, again, on our behalf, is greatly appreciated. Thankyou for the update.

And, uh, *hugs* again.

Indeed. *Hugs.* I'm really sorry about what happened. Thanks for letting us know.

ShadesFox · September 04, 2011, 08:33:56 AM

Oh wow, that is amazingly terrible. When we first met it was pretty rough, but I liked the guy.