The Useless Superhero Game!

[rammenstein]

This is a game originally made by my old supervisor over a year ago. It's quite simple, really, has two steps, and requires nothing more than your imagination.

One, think of a superpower. It can be any superpower you want, from something as simple as super strength, to something as spectacular as the ability to warp the very fabric of space-time to your will.

Got a superpower? Good. Now comes the fun part. Come up with some kind of trait, weakness, flaw etc., that renders the possessor of the superpower completely and totally useless, in a lulzy fashion.

Need and example? I'll begin.

I have the ability to move at the speed of light! However, I can only see three inches in front of me.

Let the hilarity begin!

[Inumo]

I can leap over an entire city in one go! That is, if I had legs...

[techmaster-glitch]

X-ray vision! Except it only goes through solid objects, as in, not air.

[Sicill]

Crowds will do anything that I ask in person for them to do. My problem is that being near groups of two or more people make me pass out.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Okay, not quite what I expected, but hey. Hrm. I was going to come out with "Flatulence Man", or something equally amusing, but that's not the game, here.

Super-powers. Hrm. There's always super-strength; just not in the bones...

[AmberCross]

Can turn any food into peanut butter. You are very allergic to peanuts.

[Zedd]

Can eat just about anything.yet you lack the skill and will to swallow

[e_voyager]

flight but is deathly afraid of heights. as if can't even use a step ladder afraid of heights.

[AmberCross]

You are immune to pain. However you still take damage normally.

[Ren Gaulen]

You are immune to pain. However you still take damage normally.

That's not exactly as useless as it may seem. If you don't feel pain, you can take more damage without being incapacitated by pain shock.

As for my entry, I turn anything I touch into gold. And I cannot turn this ability off. Yes, I am king Midas.

[joshofspam]

The ability to bend reality to your will.

The acute senses that come with that make it hard just to get out of bed without asking yourself, "What's the point". This also comes with a secondary related weakness that turns you into a compulsive couch Potato.

[AmberCross]

You are immune to pain. However you still take damage normally.

That's not exactly as useless as it may seem. If you don't feel pain, you can take more damage without being incapacitated by pain shock.

Only if you're REALLY careful. Far more likely result is that you kill yourself. If you're hit by steam you don't notice it scalding your skin. You don't notice when someone stabs you or if you have a rock in your shoe which ends up crippling your foot. Having that combination is usually not only useless, but also dangerous to yourself.

Being able to turn into a bird. Birds aren't intelligent enough to know how to turn back into a human.

[Darkdragon]

You're able to steal the superpowers of someone else. However, nobody else has a superpower to steal.

[Cogidubnus]

You can create any object you can imagine. Unfortunately, you are an accountant.

[Sicill]

Being able to open a blank book and see a vision of any secret that a living being has kept. Sadly it's totally random so you are more likely to have a vision of where a squirrel hid its food a thousand years ago than anything useful.

[AmberCross]

Being able to project images from memory. Alzheimer's.

(Is it possible to have photographic memory and Alzheimer's at the same time?)

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

(Is it possible to have photographic memory and Alzheimer's at the same time?)

Of course. Right now I'm having deja vu and alzheimers at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.

On a similar vein to your idea: able to project images from someone else's memory. Only no control over which images, or whose memory...

[Sicill]

Able to unconsciously make anyone you meet want to become friends with you. You are paranoid that these people are all part of a conspiracy to get at you.

[AmberCross]

Upside is you can pull a rabbit out of a hat. Downside is you have to put the rabbit there in the first place. Wait... does it even count as a superpower if anyone can do it?

Anyway here's a real one.... When you die, you come back to life with a mutation that would have let you survive your death. Like after drowning you revive with gills or when incinerated you before fireproof. Unfortunately each death resets your mutation and you revive somewhere completely random. Usually somewhere you are not suited to live. So after drowning you wake up with gills (and no lungs really) in the Sahara Desert. After that you wake up with a higher water capacity, but you're somewhere cold so the extra water causes you to freeze faster. Stuff like that, you can probably come up with your own.

Side note:

Right now I'm having deja vu and alzheimers at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.

So kinda like deja moo then. The strange feeling you've heard this bullshit before.

[rammenstein]

I'm so happy people are participating!

You have the ability to conjure anything into existence! Unfortunately it's completely random, and never what you need at the time.

[SquirrelWizard]

Your powers shift as needed to resolve specific problems, but you never know when, where, what problems the powers resolve.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You can fly by flapping wings attached to your back. Unfortunately, to do that, your weight had to be reduced by hollowing out your bones. You are incapable of standing up without some kind of leg brace.

[Ren Gaulen]

You can summon swarms of angry bees that would attack the closest thing to them immediately. Sadly, you cannot control them, and you are also severely allergic to bee venom.

[joshofspam]

You have the power to control water.

Unfortunately, when not using your powers you tend to retain water...Lots Of Water.

[Cogidubnus]

You generate intense, freezing cold wherever you are. Unfortunately, it's always working. And you aren't immune to freezing to death in the least.

Another one! Because hah!

You gain all the powers of a zen master, and solve all your problems by doing nothing.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You can control the minute functions of every single cell in your body.



Not that you have the ability to focus any better, so all of your attention is wrapped up in making sure your blood flows properly and your cells are dividing on schedule.

[Darkdragon]

You are able to do absolutely anything at the cost of your life. You also happen to be scared ****less of death and the mere thought of it is enough to make you sick.

[Draken]

The ability to speak to any non-humanoid animal at the cost of never being able to understand any humanoids in any shape or form.

[Ren Gaulen]

Your body produces immense amounts of heat, to which you are immune. Unfortunately, this process goes on constantly and you have no way to control it, so everything in close vicinity to you quickly bursts into flames.

[joshofspam]

You have laser vision. To bad it's progressively ruining your eyesight.