help please

[Ratzel]

I am an anti-doctor that likes doctors, I can't stand them but they seem to be the only people I talk to. One gets paid to talk with me for half an hour and he only talks with me for 15 minutes. I'm so tired of just talking to doctors. I live with my parents and brother even and my brother hardly talks to me, he spends almost all the time on the computer and won't really interact with me. I'm poor at interacting with others and I'm trying to make friends but I'm afraid they'll just leave me.

I guess the question is, how do I interact with people who aren't doctors?

[Inumo]

Well, first of all, have confidence. When you start talking to people, you'll probably get ignored or rejected by some. Just take the situation, remember what went wrong, and learn from it. Yeah, you may have lost a person, maybe even a group of people to talk with, but there are plenty of people in the world. One way to help bridge the awkward gap of "Hi I'm so-and-so, how are you?" is to join a local club or something similar. That way, it's not just more comfortable, but also expected for you to say something like that, unlike if you were walking along on the street and you said "Hi." Finally, make sure that you talk to people that you at least somewhat share interests with. It'll make talking a bit easier.

Also, remember that this is probably not the best of advice. After all, this is an online forum, not a social help site.

[Ratzel]

I know it's just a forum but I needed to know from what other people view as a proper way to interact. Thanks for the advice, maybe joining a group is what I need to do.

[Omega]

I guess the question is, how do I interact with people who aren't doctors?

When you'll find out, be sure to tell me too.

In fact, I don't even know how to talk to doctors! I just try to puke out some words that help people to understand my thoughts, words such SCUD LAUNCHER, CARPET BOMBING, TOMAHAWK MISSILE...

nah, but seriously, I've found out that to interact with a person, that you have no official bond or duty to be with, you are both equal, at first. In many conversations, one of the persons will try to dominate the interaction with better linguistics, clever tales or confident attitude. This is to gain superiority and is often, in my op innion, done subconsciously. I believe that it's some sort of primal instinct, trying to solve the pecking order of the pack. The dominant side usually gets to choose the topic of conversation and his opinions are often more right than other's. But this is only one example.

When talking to people, you often choose an appropriate role. You switch between many words, tones, facial expressions and numerous other little details about yourself. This usually happen subconsciously and we pay little or no attention to this at all. Sometimes you can caught people off guard when you choose an inappropriate role for yourself, e.g. you talk to a police officer like you'd talk to a baby, or you'd talk to a icecream lady like you'd talk to a judge. We pick these roles more or less naturally by watching how other people do it and copying them. Sometimes we don't even need to do that, because the way we speak might be in some cases so natural that we don't even need to think about it. We learn to talk by listening and copying the good speakers.

Even if having a simple conversation can be mind puzzlingly complicated, there still many right ways to do it. I've found that it's best to remain calm if you don't want to cause unrest or upset the opponent. I also try to take notice of what is the mood my counterparty. Is he/she happy/sad/angry/bored and (commonly) try to sympathise his/her mood, if I want to bother. I don't need to of course. When choosing a topic, I try to pick the ones that I have something to say. Topics that I am unfamiliar with and thus have very little to say, I tend to be quiet and listen, maybe throw down couple questions so that the other talker gets to talk some more: Remember, conversation is not about talking, but also about listening. You need to sure the other person that you are listening and interested of what he/she needs to say, if you don't want to upset him/her that is. I myself am terrible at having good small talk, so I tend to crack few jokes when the awkward silence starts to stretch too long (or if I want to switch topic), such as "It's a nice ceiling today, is it not?". "Uh-oh, look at my wrist, it's already so late that I gotta go." and look at my left wrist where my wristwatch should be.

(This post is getting to large and I'm running out of time...)

[Castle Pokemetroid]

Usually at community places like a job, school, or at church, you'll most likely see certain people regularly, which can result in a friendship, unless you completely ignore them.

But if you somehow have a job and or career from home, or you don't go to church or any of the like, it's completely possible to not meet anyone at all, other than doctors.

Main point, try to get out more and ask random people (like when standing in lines) hows the weather, or something to get a converstation started to better your communication skills.