Cat sick, owner facing dilemma

[Angel]

Hey guys, I need a little advice.

My cat, Chartreuse, is very sick. She's barely eating, she's losing a lot of weight, her left eye has goop in it, she's very lethargic, and her movements are slow. Her back legs also seem to be slipping a little when she walks, and her meow sounds a little different. Now, she's old - we're not sure of the exact age, but she's probably between 14 and 16 years old - so her bad health is only slightly unexpected because she's been very active throughout her life.

My parents don't want to take her to the vet. They say she's very old, and she's always hated going to the vet, so it could be an unnecessary shock. They don't want her to die in fear with IVs sticking into her. The family unanimously agreed that we don't want to have the cat put down either, for the same reasons. But my little brother and I keep worrying and feeling like if we took her to the vet, they could at least help her a little. She's showing signs of dehydration, and both of us are worried that she may be in a lot of pain and hiding it, as animals sometimes do.

I love Chartreuse very much. She's been my best friend for the eleven years since we found her, and I respect my parents for wanting her to die at home where she will be surrounded by people who love her. But I also want her to be as comfortable as possible without having to take her to the vet. I don't want to feel like it's our fault she's dying. What should I do?

(EDIT (6:22 PM): Just so you know, my parents did agree that they'd take her to the vet at the first sign of her feeling any pain. And her back legs only slipped when she was upstairs on the hardwood floor. I thought at first that it could be arthritis, but after looking her over, I found out she just hasn't sharpened her back claws in a while and they're long now.)

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Vet. Now.

My (completely unprofessional) diagnosis is that she's had a stroke - or, at least, that's the first thing that leaps into mind.

If I was in her shoes, I'd want prompt medical attention. She might not _like_ the attention, but she should get it, ASAP.


And as for having her put down - if she's going to starve to death, which it sounds like might well happen, then that's not a good way to go. In fact, there are very few worse ways, IMHO. Whereas being put to sleep is a quick prick with a needle, and then just a quiet relax into death.


I _know_ it sounds like a horrible thing, but my parents had the family dog put to sleep when he a) started going deaf, b) started running away when called, c) ran out onto the road, and we thing d) got hit. More than once.

He came home with a limp, and it'd got to the point that we couldn't let him out of the gate, because we couldn't control him. And he took to sneaking out whenever he could, which resulted in d) above. :-/ All in all, I'm glad my parents had him put down the way they did - he went to sleep, we all got to say goodbye, and then we buried him in the garden. Much better than him sneaking out and ending up in a gutter somewhere, and he wasn't in pain, which are the two important things to my mind.


Just my *checks wallet* about $2.15, I think.

[Jairus]

I agree with Boxy. Vet, right now. At least they can make her comfortable. We've got a dog who doesn't really like the vet, but if it wasn't for our vet he'd have had to have been put down years ago (really bad back problems). Take your cat to the vet.

We had to put a dog down too, actually two of them. In both cases, it was either a long slow drawn-out painful death, or a quiet relaxed one with the family. Didn't make it any easier, even though we only had one of them for two weeks (she was a puppy, and her liver wasn't working right: she was basically dying of blood poisoning. They actually lost most of the little she came from, which was really sad). The other one... well, she had cancer, and we thought we'd gotten it when we amputated that leg, but it turns out we didn't.

[techmaster-glitch]

I agree. The vet is really not a bad place, and you should get her there as soon as you can. A cat I had was something similar; she stopped eatching because the new dog scared her away from her food, and her liver shut down.

[Lysander]

Sorry to hear about that. We had a very old cat that had what sounds like the same problems as yours. I also suggest the vet. There's always a chance that something could be done, and if not putting the animal to a painless death instead of starvation would seem a good thing. 

[Angel]

Well, the good news is that she's up and about today. I was more worried earlier because she'd been sleeping a lot and I thought she might be close to death. She was near her food and water, so she must have at least drank some water - she's been drinking enough to survive, but her gums were pale the other night. They're still pale, but they're not "ivory" as my brother said they were, they're just light pink. I wiped some of the excess goop out of her eyes and took a look at them. She's not going blind, but there was stil a lot of goop in them. Seems she's not going down without a fight, at least.

Another update: I looked up a few things on Google about her symptoms, and it seems she may have nothing more than a bad infection that looks severe because of her age. So I will be talking with my parents about having a vet come over and have a look at her, just to confirm whether this is simply false hope, or something more severe. I suspected earlier that her legs could be slipping due to arthritis, but that doesn't explain her other symptoms. Like I said, though, this could just be a false glimmer of hope, so I'm prepared for bad news.

[Damaris]

Our cat had similar symptoms, and it turned out to be an abscessed tumor, and her kidneys were shutting down.  If we had let it go longer, she would have died in agonizing pain, instead of peacefully being held by her two humans.

Definitely vet.  Now.

[Vidar]

Get the animal to a vet a week ago.

I'm not sure if people use an excuse like "it doesn't like vets" in order to not take care of an animal that needs taking care of should have pets in the first place.

[Rakala]

Yeah, the vet is necessary. Otherwise if you don't want her to suffer you'll have to have her put down while she still has some quality to her life and it's not just sad. And when you have her put down make sure somebody from the family is there to comfort her in her final hours.

[Angel]

Get the animal to a vet a week ago.

I'm not sure if people use an excuse like "it doesn't like vets" in order to not take care of an animal that needs taking care of should have pets in the first place.

OK, this is what I was hoping to avoid, but you've left me no choice.

I want, deep down, to take Chartreuse to the vet. I believe it's possible she could just have a bad infection that seems worse in her old age (as I said - 14-16 years). I've spoken with my parents about it, and they understand. But there are more than a few problems with taking her to the vet right now, and I agree with your statement that if the only reason we weren't going was because she hates the vet, then we'd be bad owners. But those aren't the only reasons. As you read this, please know this: I love my cat like a member of the family, and I don't want everyone here to think that my family and I are responsible for her death. I love her and I would never ever put her through pain, and the moment she shows that she is in pain, I want her to be put down and myself to be there with her.

[WARNING: WALL O' TEXT]

My parents have very strong opinions on a particular matter: prolonging someone's life long after it is their time to go. They've made it very clear that if something happens to either of them, and the only way to keep them alive is to have them stuck in a hospital room with IVs and feeding tubes and a respirator and them unable to even get up and use the bathroom on their own, they'd choose to have the plug pulled. My mom in particular says that she thinks it's a little selfish of people to force a person to live like that. They have no disrespect for people who want to be kept alive, but they've seen firsthand what it's like for someone whose time is up and whose relatives refuse to let them go. They don't want Chartreuse to end up like that; she's an outdoors cat, and we know that that's not what she would want.

Also, there is an issue of money. Both my parents work in real estate, and with the market the way it is, they don't have the money to have Chartreuse treated. My father added that it would take them 48 hours to figure out what was wrong with her, and if she wasn't already scared to death by that time, she could be dead by the time they knew what was wrong, and that would be money thrown away. I know this sounds incredibly callous, but it's true.

Next, it's not like no-one cares what's wrong with her. My father spoke to animal experts at his old workplace (he used to be a police lieutenant), and my mom has spoken to friends of hers who've owned cats for years. Everyone said that it sounds like Chartreuse is just getting old, and her age is finally catching up with her.

But she doesn't act like she's hurting. She's acting in ways she never did before. She wants to spend time with us, she's not scared of strangers anymore, and she's friendly and sweet to everyone. I think she knows that her time is up, and she wants to spend it with us. And my parents and my brothers and I are doing everything we can to make her comfortable. She has free rein of the house, we let her sleep on the couch with towels, we buy her whatever food she wants to eat, make sure she has water, and spend as much time with her as we can. We don't even watch movies or play loud music in her basement area anymore, in case the noise bothers her. We let her go outside when she wants to, we keep careful watch over her when she does go out so she doesn't end up in a puddle or a ditch, and we pray for her every day. I know we have given her a good life; if we hadn't found her outside and taken her in eleven years ago, she might have been dead much sooner. She's given me happiness for a very long time, and I'm grateful. My fondest wish is for her to die naturally, knowing that we all love her and we always will. If she has to be put down, then so be it. I just want to be in the room with her when it happens.

[/WALL O' TEXT]

I'm sorry, I just don't want everyone to see me as some cruel, greedy bitch who refuses to take her cat to the vet because she "doesn't like it" or because she refuses to spend the money. I'm not at home, so I don't really have the final say on what happens to her.

To those of you who say we should have her put down, thank you, and we will do that if it comes to it. Sorry again about the rant.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Nothing to apologise for. Honestly.

And, I think the suggestions of the many weren't pointing at you deciding not to take the cat to the vet - it was at the decisions of your parents. After all, if you're still living at home, they're doing the lion's share of supporting you, financially, so it is their decision, in a way. Even if they decide to delegate to you to make the call, it's still their ultimate call, in that it's their wallet that does the calling, if that makes sense.

Having said that, the information in your original post was a little sparse. This, ah, more complete information suggests that you have done the usual requirements, and considered the vet seriously, rather than (as was implied in your original post) just writing off the vet because the cat didn't like it.

For my part, the serious consideration is enough - you're monitoring the cat, you're checking to see if there is any pain, and in the absence of any signs, you're probably doing the right thing. Obviously, the cat may hide pain signals from you, but there's not a lot you can do about that, and you're doing everything reasonably doable in the situation you find yourself.

In summary - everyone is telling you to get professional advice, and it sounds like you've done that. Nuff said.


Give your cat a pet from me. I've always liked cats - even when the family pet decided to sleep on my greenstick fracture, before it got put in a cast.