This will only end in fire! (Recipes)

[Amber Williams]

I felt like trying to start a board where people can share some of their favorite or best-recieved recipes.  Cause I do enjoy cooking from time to time and it is always fun to see if there are any cheflings out there who may like to see some of my own cooking experiments.

I figure I'll start with a roast recipe.

Ingredients needed!
1 roast. Generally speaking the nicer the roast the better. But its really up to you. Just make sure it is one that will fit in a roasting tray or at the very least, a good pot you can stick in the oven.
Potatoes and Onions. Amount varies to your preference. Keep in mind they will shrink a bit. I usually do 1 big onion and 3-4 small potatoes.
1 thingie of garlic. Not the niblet, the whole garlic. Good breath is for suckers.
Lemon pepper, a bit of teryiaki, white vinager, lime juice seasoned salt, regular salt, basil, rosemary, cayanne pepper, paprika.  Amount varies to preference.
Honey. I prefer organic honey because the stuff is dark and potent and 100x more delicious. But you guys may opt to go with wussy plastic bear container brand honey if you wish.
1 pack of bacon.  Good arteries are also for suckers.

Tools needed!
Knife. Plate to chop things. Good pan to cook things in. Bowl to mix things in.

Prep Time!
Preheat the oven to about 300 F degrees. Roasts were meant to take forever to cook so dont worry too much about heat at the moment.
Now, go through that entire thing of garlic and separate and cut the parts into smaller slivers. But not too fine. And make sure to keep them long and narrow.
After you do that, you are basically going to take the roast...and stab it with your knife, then insert a garlic sliver into the stab wound. If you cut the garlic right, each sliver will probably slide into the spot where you stabbed.  Stab the hell out of your roast and garlic it up until no more garlic remains.  Once done, it is time for the marinade.

Mixing all your dry ingredients to preference...the thing to remember is once you add the liquid parts this is all going to get rubbed into your roast so generally you can eyeball a good amount. (some people like more cayanne then others...but really the dry ingredients are pretty easy to just go comfy)  Once you got that, add a dash of the vinager (mostly to add acidness), the teryiaki and the lime juice. Then heap on the honey. Really you are looking to make the honey your main coating ingredient.  Once you got that all mixed up, rub it all over the roast. (watch out for mess) Or use a paint thingie if you want. Just be sure to evenly coat it.

Wash your hands, cause they will be sticky. Then bring out the bacon!  Take the bacon and start laying it out over your roast. Usually you can get most of the bacon wrapped around the majority of the thing and get about 2 1/2 layers going.  Please do then put bacon-wrapped roast into pot.

Cut onions, cut potatoes, add into pot. 

Cook time!
Put lid on pot and put in oven.  Let the roast pretty much slow cook at about 300-350 with the lid on for about an hour. At that point, the liquid inside will pretty much cook the potatoes and onions and there should be enough liquid that it bubbles a little. Remove lid, take a spoon or ladle and drizzle it atop the bacon crust. Then put roast back into oven lidless.  Cook at a low temp for about another 2 hours, taking it out to re-apply liquid from the pot onto the top.

When done, remove roast and veggies, make gravy with liquid if preferred...and nom nom nom!

Comment notes
I find the honey works really well with the potatoes and the garlic inside the roast itself should be pretty tender after slow-cooking inside a bacon insulator in its own juices for 3 hours. But obviously this is a recipe one should feel free to tweak if they are not a fan of certain ingredients.  I personally love garlic so I am biased to adding a lot.

That's all for now from me.

[Cogidubnus]

I would not have guessed the Amber as the cooking sort, let alone a person with the ability to make a roast! 

I am a poor college boy, so I, in general, cannot cook - except for one soup, which is delicious.
A note before I begin - this recipe requires a crock pot, and about eight hours to do it's thing. If you're good at cooking, you could probably just use an oven or something with a pot in it, but I am not an awesome cook like that, so...

Ingredients!
1 can Cream of Mushroom
1 can Cream of Celery
1 bag mixed veggies
1 12oz can V8
3-4 diced potatoes
Ground beef (not a whole bunch, though)

Tools:
Cutting board
A knoife
Crock-pot
Can opener
Potato skinner (optional - some people just use said knoife)

Prep time: Remarkably little. Plug in crock pot, set to low. Have your ingredients, pretty much. This will take eight hours to cook, though - perfect for putting on before you go to work, and then taking out when you get back for warm deliciousness.

Peel your potatoes and dice them into bite-sized chunks. Put your two cans of of cream of mushroom and cream of celery into the crock pot. Add your ground beef and mixed vegetables, then add your potatoes. Pour in your can of V-8. Ideally, the amounts of ingredients should be such that you'll barely be able to put the lid on top. Don't worry, as it cooks, it'll shrink into a more sensible size.

Cook time: Put crock pot on low, and leave it alone for eight or so hours. Serve.

Notes: You could probably substitute sausage for ground beef if you were so inclined. This stuff goes well with crackers and a warm drink. Stores easily, can be reheated easily too.

[Lysander]

A very good idea here. I also like the sound of both those recipes.

The first here is a mushroom/clam pasta, a very healthy meal if you don't mind carbs. Even if you don't like mushrooms or clams you may like it anyway because it doesn't really taste like either somehow...

Ingredients:
2 cans Cream of Mushroom
2 cans Sliced Mushrooms
2 cans Clams in Water
1 lb. Angel Hair Pasta (or whatever)

Tools:
One pot large enough to hold everything
2 Qt. Sauce Pan
Large utensils to stir sauce and pasta

Fill the very large pot 2/3 full with water, bring to boil, add noodles. As the water warms open and pour contents of all cans (without draining any liquid) in sauce pan and heat on high until simmering and reduce to medium, stirring frequently.

Allow the pasta 5-10 minutes boiling time, or until they are about 1/2 cooked. The sauce should be ready by then. Empty the large pan of water so all that lies within are the half cooked noodles. Pour the sauce into the noodles and continue cooking on medium for about 10 minutes or until noodles are fully cooked. Stir in salt and/or pepper to taste.


The next is a simple recipe for Apple Sauce.

Ingredients:
5-8 Golden Delicious Apples, depending on how large they are
Brown Sugar
Cinnamon

Tools:
Decent Knife
Cutting Board
Very Large Pot

Slice and quarter the apples and place into the pot. Fill with water until water level reaches about half the height of the apple slices. Bring to a boil and cover. Stir occasionally, boiling 30 minutes. As apples become soft stir in brown sugar and cinnamon, enough that it tastes perfect to you. By the end of the 30 min.

Notes: If you prefer chunky applesauce I'd suggest red delicious or granny smith apples. You may also add berries for a change. Also make sure to infuse the sauce with love. I once made it with hatred and it produces what some might call undesirable side effects.   

[rabid_fox]

Here beholden a sandwich which sounds much wrong but combines magnificently and has earned the title, "The Heir Of All Eternity".

Take: soya and linseed bread or some similarly granary-attired bakery product and place two slices of turkey breast upon it's lusty, crumbful bed. Henceforth, when the arms of the turkey breast beg for succor, ease them with a liberal dollop of cottage cheese upon which must be sprinkled dried chili flakes. A liberal handful of a peppery herb must follow, recommendations being rocket, watercress or spinach. Seal this raving demon shut with a kisséd slice of the same-stuff bread and devour with the jaws of a ravenous tiger.

I'm not sure if that was erotic, Shakespearean or Delia Smithean, but the sandwich is glorious.

For drinkies: Not being a fan of mixing, I can however recommend the 'Jewish Delight'. Half vodka, a quarter lemon juice and a quarter maple syrup, well mixed. It's like drinking a pancake.

More may follow, for I do eat fine well most nights.

[Reese Tora]

sphaghetti sauce!

what you need:
32 oz tomato sauce (2 16oz cans)
24 oz tomato paste (2 12oz cans)
2-3 pounds of ground beef (by preference)
one whole brown onion
4-5 white mushrooms
celery salt (we use Laury's seasoning salt)
rosemary
basil
minced garlic

a frying pan large enough for the meat, and a pot large enough to hold all the ingredients plus an additional 56oz of water
optionally, a metal collander and something to catch hot juice in.

what you do:
put all the meat in the pan
mince the onions and mushrooms, and add those to the meat. (or you can slice the mushrooms, but I prefer minced so I don't notice their texture.)
brown the meat, you want it to be in pieces no larger than an inch to an inch and a half (I prefer to have some larger pieces, it's like meatballs)
optionally, drain the meat with the collander adn save the juice and fat for later (put it in the fridge to congeal the fat so you can remove it and have just the juice)
Put the meat in a large pot with the tomato sauce and paste, and add equal parts of water (use the water to rinse any remaining tomato stuff out of the cans and get it in the pot) you can put less water in it if you don't have as much time to cook this.
Add the seasoning salt, minced garlic, and basil, and crush and add the rosemary.  You can add some minced parsley for appearance, if you want... I don't
all seasonings are to taste, but I usually go for coating the surface of the sauce lightly with the seasoning salt, maybe half a tablespoon of the minced garlic, half a tablespoon of rosemary, and a teaspoon of basil (this is all sprinkled on and done by eye, sorry, no exact measurements)

Now, I usually do this in a crock pot, and would put the temperature to high, but you probably want a lower heat doing this on the stove, bring it just to boiling and keep it at that temperature.  Let it cook for4 or 5 hours(or until you're satisfied with the consistency), stir often enough to keep it frmo sticking to the bottom or crusting on top.  normally cook covered, but uncover if it's too thin to let mroe water boil off.

about 3 cups of this to a pound of sphagetti, and you should have enough for 6-7 people, and it would also make for a delicious soup in its own right.

recipe makes for 9-12 cups of sauce, depending on how much you thicken it, so either reduce the recipie accordingly, have lots of hungry people available, or have something you can freeze the sauce in for reheating later. (last option works best, my family gets four dinners out of one pot of sauce, generally, and that's not counting leftover pasta with sauce from those dinners)

[Ryudo Lee]

When I lived by myself, my sister and brother told me of the easiest way to cook anything.  So I adapted it to some chicken.

Ingredients:
Chicken pieces (individual legs, thighs, wings, etc), raw
Lemon pepper
Salt
Italian seasoning or regular oregano
Tony Chachere's Original Creole Seasoning (This stuff goes great on EVERYTHING)

A pan large enough to hold the chicken
Some aluminum foil to cover the chicken

Directions:
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F.
During that time, drink heavily lay the chicken pieces in the pan.  Then, using a knife, slice some slits in the skin.  Afterwards, put two pinches of each seasoning on top of each piece of chicken and rub it all into the chicken.
Cover the pan with the foil and put in the oven for an hour and a half at 350 degrees F.
If you want the skin to be crispy, pull the aluminum foil off of the pan after an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes, depending on how crispy you want the skin to be.

Alternatively, you can put the chicken into a rotisserie for 90 minutes.  It comes out with a crispy skin baked to a golden brown.

If you're only cooking for one (as I used to), then you can wrap the chicken pieces in aluminum foil and skip the pan altogether.  Just be sure that the foil is sealed.

This goes great with some rice and corn.


And then there's a sandwich that I make that my friends have dubbed the "Sammich".
Get some kind of long roll, such as hero bread or french bread and toast it.  Add some mayo (and/or mustard if you like), and layer on turkey, ham, roast beef and american and swiss cheese.  Top that with freshly cooked bacon (REAL bacon, not that turkey stuff).  Dress with lettuce, tomato, pickle, and onion.  Enjoy with a few beers.  Feeds an army.

[rabid_fox]

Appallingly simple situation.

Tuna fish (tinned) & crisps (cheese and onion).

Add crisps (crunched up) to tuna (in a bowl). Awesome.

[Lisky]

i've got another simple one...

it's a chip, cracker, or bread dip

start with 1 8oz can artichoke hearts
1cup Mayonnaise
1cup Parmesan Cheese

mix together in a small pan
cook in oven at 350 degrees F for 35-45 minutes..  then serve when cooled to edible temp

[rabid_fox]

Serve with Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, apparently.

[Jack McSlay]

A simple recipe, and in my opinion the best use for day-old bread. This is a very widely known breakfast recipe here in Brazil, often consumed as a replacement for toast (and more popular than toast in Brazil, I believe)

Pão na chapa
(translates to "bread on the plate")

Ingredients
1 bread about 1 day old. Works best with french roll, non-integral
Salt
Olive oil or butter
(You may try other ingredients, I like to add oregano)

Preparation
Cut the bread in half (as if you were making a sandwich) and smear the butter, or pour the olive oil if that was your choice. Avoid using too much - use only the necessary to cover all the open bread's inner surface with it.
Pour the salt and whatever other ingredient you want.

Now, put the bread on a frying pan, maximum flame, with the inner surface of both halves on the pan's surface. Press the bread against the pan's surface until it gets flat. If you like smooth, you may take it a few seconds after getting flat, if you like burnt, you should wait about 30 seconds after it starts to spew smoke.

Best if eaten shortly after being prepared.

[Lisky]

i just thought of a horribly simplistic appetizer that is always delicious assuming you like avocado

Take several avocados, remove the skin, then slice into about 1/8 inch thick slices, place slices on a platter, drizzle in olive oil, add a little salt, stick in a toothpick, then serve... classy, easy, and delicious...

[Sicill]

Peanut butter and tomato sandwich

Ingredients:
  sliced bread
  sliced tomato
  butter
  peanut butter (any type as long as it is not too watery)
Necessary tools:
  Knives, one to slice the tomato if it is not already sliced and one to butter bread
  Pan
  Working stove top
  Spatula
  Plate
 
take the bread and smear some peanut butter between them. lightly put some butter on the outside of the slices and grill them until they are light brown. take the sandwich and but tomato slices  onto the peanut butter. if you are making several sandwiches then you may want a plate with a paper towel on it because the bottom sandwiches tend to collect moisture.

You should eat the sandwiches while they are still warm. This is more of a summer food in my opinion though you can clearly eat it whenever you have the ingredients.

[Robbychu]

This is awesome. I have a heart-clogger here, but it shouldn't hurt if you don't eat it on a daily basis... Also, I'm in the "measuring is for baking and unfamiliar recipes" group, so no exacts. It shouldn't affect it much.

Heart-Stopper Scrambled Eggs
Ingredients:
2-3 large eggs, depending on how hungry you are
salt
pepper
At least a half-inch of butter cut from a stick. Don't be a wuss about the buttery goodness here, people.
Thyme (or your favorite topping)
Half and half. I'm not sure if milk can be subsistuted here.

Tools Required:
Nonstick frying pan large enough to hold your eggs
A stirring container
A mixing tool (I use a fork, but a whisk is fine too)
Spatula
Fire or a functioning stovetop

Take your eggs and crack them open into your container. Add the salt pepper, and half and half, then mix. After mixing, put your pan on the stovetop and put in your butter. Turn the heat up to medium-high, and let the butter melt. After the butter melts completely and is mostly stopped bubbling, add the eggs. Let the eggs sit for a bit, until the edges have turned un-liquid, a state henceforth refered to as "eggwall". Take your spatula, and move the eggwall away from the pan edge, letting the liquid egg overflow. Repeat until most of the egg is eggwall. Flip the eggs, making sure to get all not-eggwall in contact with the pan bottom. Let it sit for about 30 seconds to a minute, then flip. Now, brown the eggs to taste--I like 'em nice 'n' carmelized, but some don't. After cooking, get a plate, stick the eggs on it, add the thyme or favorite egg topping, and enjoy.

And for the less culinarily talented among us:
Strawberry-Turkey Sandwich (ya rly)

Ingredients:
Bread--two slices
Slices of turkey
Strawberry jelly (ya rly)
Spices of your choice (I like thyme and pepper, but that's me)

Required tools:
Flat surface

Take the bread, and spread the strawberry jelly on the bread. Add the spices, being careful not to spill any. Add turkey, put the bread slices together, and enjoy.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Ooo, I have a recipe.


Ingredients:
One cat
Mayo


Take your cat. Add mayo to taste. Enjoy.

[Joe3210]

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-hossenfeffer

I heard that you can use your cat in place of your rabbit.  It's only thirty minutes over the limit.

[Tapewolf]

It took me a little while to find this, but here's my old recipe for spaghetti bolognaise:

http://nice.llearch.net/dmfa_forum2677.htm#ref23

...this thread also contains a bunch of other recipes, by other members, past and present.

[ShadesFox]

That thread brings back memories X3

Anyways, ShadesFox's nummy salmon!

Ingredients:
Chunks of salmon (however much you want)
Teriyaki sauce (bunches)

Directions:
Get a plastic container thing.  It has to be large enough to lay the samon flat in.  Coat the bottom with Teriyaki sauce.  Put in salmon.  Dump in a bunch more Teriyaki until the salmon is throughly drenched.  Leave to sit in the fridge for 3 hours.  Flip and leave in the fridge for another 3 to 4 hours.  Or longer.  It really doesn't matter too much.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Place salmon in there for 20 to 30 minutes, until it is a really light pink.  Goes with just about anything, because it is salmon

[Zorro]

These also work well with tuna.



Salmon Patties (Basic)

Ingredients:

1 (14.75 ounce) can canned salmon
1 egg
1/2 cup self-rising flour
1 quart vegetable oil for frying

Directions

In a medium bowl, combine salmon, egg, and flour; mix well. Form into patties.

Heat approximately 1/4 inch oil in a fry pan over medium-high heat. Fry patties in batches until browned, turning once. Drain on paper towels, and serve.



Salmon Patties II

Salmon Patties

DIRECTIONS:
1 large can salmon
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon Old Bay seasoning
1 teaspoon dried parsley
1 dash salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/3  cup all-purpose flour  (more if needed)
1/3  cup cornmeal (more if needed)
1/4  cup chopped green onion

DIRECTIONS:
Mix egg with fork. Add salt, pepper, Old Bay, and parsley.

Drain water from salmon. Add to egg mixture and mix well. Add green onions and mix again.

Add 1/3 cup each of the flour and the cornmeal and mix well. If needed, continue adding equal parts of flour and cornmeal until mixture is thick enough to hold together. Form fist-size balls and flatten out to patties.

Use cast-iron skillet (if possible) with 1/4" of cooking oil on medium-high heat.  Cook 3-4 minutes on each side or until browned.

Serve with lemon wedges.

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Salmon Patties Three

INGREDIENTS:
1 large can salmon
1 cup fine dry bread crumbs
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup chopped parsley
2 eggs, beaten
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2 tablespoons oil
Lemon wedges

DIRECTIONS:
Drain salmon, reserving 1/3 cup liquid; flake. In medium bowl, combine salmon, bread crumbs, onion, and parsley. Add reserved salmon liquid, eggs, lemon juice, and pepper; mix well.

Shape into 6 patties. In skillet, fry salmon patties in oil over medium heat until lightly browned on both sides.  Serve hot; garnish with lemon wedges.

                           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Salmon Patties Four

INGREDIENTS:
1 large can salmon
1/4 cup celery, chopped fine
1/4 cup onion, chopped fine
1/4 cup flour
1 egg
2 Tablespoons corn meal
1 Tablespoon Chesapeake Bay
Seafood seasoning

DIRECTIONS:
Put salmon in large bowl; remove bones and skin. Break up salmon; add celery, onion and beaten egg. Stir well. Add flour, cornmeal and seasoning. Roll into balls; pat into patties. Cook in hot oil on both sides till brown.

Serve with lemon wedges.