The Vend-o-mat 9000

[yakanaj]

Ferret refuses to enter the Vend-o-Mat. Long story short, you now need plastic surgery to replace a missing nose, a single eye, and your new hare lip.

inserts a sock.

[Cogidubnus]

It dispenses a foot. Don't ask where it came from.

*inserts coin*

[yakanaj]

You receive a used and scratched CD - "The fat lady has sung"

Inserts an sleeping pill.

[Lisky]

*out pops a pre-mixed drink* ... do you trust the vend-o-mat?

*inserts foam finger*

[information-dead]

a head of foam from beer explodes out!


*inserts disembodied head*

[Lisky]

*out pops a bloody torso, and some cops follow shortly after*... seeing you at the scene of the crime, they assume you did it

*inserts pony*

[Draken]

*Out pops richard, yelling his famous WarCry.  He then immolates your home, the pets, and random kids.*

*inserts a PsP and DS*

[Lisky]

out pops an N-gage... enjoy looking like your talking into a taco whenever you make a phone call 

*inserts a can of coke, and a pint of rum*

[Angel]

Out comes a working mom who had a long day.

(sprays her inhaler into the coin slot)

[Stygian]

The Vend-o-Mat 9000 dispenses some hacking sounds and a few mothballs.

[inserts a pack of jelly beans]

[Lisky]

*out pops a pack of gummy bears*

*inserts a 19" LCD computer screen*

[Arcblade]

The Vend-o-mat 9000 makes a few grinding sounds and dispenses a Walmart store. 

*inserts Tiamat*

[GabrielsThoughts]

the machine sputters a bet before a dragon the size of a rabbid chihuahua  pops out and nibbles on your fingers.


*inserts a waffle drizzled in syrup*

[Draken]

*out Pops a guy screaming LEGGO MY EGGO YOU BA*****D!!!*

*inserts a JokerFish*

[Lisky]

*out pops a tiger shark*

*inserts some ice cream*

[Ultimatum479]

The machine rumbles ominously for a while before crackling and hissing furiously. Explosions within it, muffled as they are, deafen you nonetheless; hundreds of lights flash in sequence at varying intensities before they all simultaneously shine brilliantly, blinding you. As your senses return, you find yourself staring at a very appetizing ice cream sandwich.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I throw in a bloodied fork with one bent tine and hit the button.

[Draken]

*out pops a matching spoon.....and some big blue bug-looking guy screaming its name.....*


*Inserts a gold brick*

[Lisky]

*out pops a heavily modified mini-cooper*

*inserts a VIP ticket for a club*

[Draken]

*out pops one of the most expensive club sandwiches ever.*

*Inserts the MiniCooper*

[Lisky]

*out pops a clown car, with a 10 foot tall clown, juggling chainsaws*

*inserts a permanent marker*

[Draken]

*out pops an artist.  And not a very good one at that*

*Reinserts the clown car, wants his minicooper back!*

[Slowtini]

A Scion pops out.
*inserts a shard of broken glass*

[Lisky]

*out pops a massive chandelier, complete with razer sharp crystal facing downward*

*inserts a small carved-ebony statue*

[Draken]

*Out pops a record singing something about ebony and some other material.....marble I think....*

*Inserts a bill for trillions of dollars to be given to people who give themseves multimillion bonuses...*

[Lisky]

*out pops an Obamanation*

*inserts a massive needle (think ink sized needle)*

[e_voyager]

out pops a wave of fear and panic that drops most within a 100 meter radius to their knees

[Ultimatum479]

out pops a wave of fear and panic that drops most within a 100 meter radius to their knees

I throw E_Voyager into the Vend-O-Mat to compensate for his refusal to insert anything.

[Lisky]

*out pops a mildly confused E, who has been run through a series of conveyor belts*

*inserts a business suit*

[Draken]

*out pops a lawyer with a class action suit at hand*

*Inserts a clown that "excells" at lame puns*

[Angel]

The Vend-O-Mat dispenses tomatoes at you for forcing it to put up with the clown.

(inserts a mustache)