Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Zedd]

Granted, Sadly it was real at the same time so you die in your sleep by a gas leak

I wish was less disturbed by that corruption

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You will be four times as disturbed by your next corruption.

I wish for a light Minkowski-space time-cone.

[Lysander]

Granted, but you make a few typos in your formula which causes the come to overcome you and slowly everything else in existence.

I wish to love you.   

[Rakala]

Granted. I'm a deadbeat who doesn't aid financially at all.

I wish I knew if you meant me or the person who posted before you.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

The knowledge is completely irrelevant and soon forgotten, and you're bummed that you wasted a wish on something stupid.


I wish that my martial arts sessions on Sundays didn't so often involvet he teachers tossing me all over the mat.

[Rakala]

Granted. It involves you going to the hospital for broken bones.

I wish all my loved ones would rise from the grave and feed on human flesh.

[Lysander]

Granted, but for some strange reason you don't become a zombie as they munch on you, but they cause you to die instead.

I wish for a hyperlink.   

[Rakala]

Granted.

I wish for a new set of headphones.

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. Your MP3 player / Computer system of choice isn't compatible with them, though.

I wish I got more sleep.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

All your friends make fun of you, because sleeping less than four hours out of every twenty four is cool.

I wish I could stay awake longer without ill effects.

[Rakala]

Granted. Originally you were going to die a peaceful death in your sleep. Because of this wish you change fate and die horribly and painfully while awake.

I wish I could draw.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Easy enough. Your drawings are horid abombinations that cause all who look upon them to beg to a higher power for blindness and amnesia.

I wish I was exempt from obeying the strictures of the law.

[Rakala]

Granted. You don't have to obey the strictures. Unfortunately there's no such thing as strictures when it comes to law so your ass still gets hauled off to jail.

I wish for a knock knock joke.

[Jairus]

Granted.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Two dogs.
Two dogs who?
Two dogs thrown against the door.

Congratulations, you have a knock-knock joke. Be glad I didn't make it worse.


I wish I had the guts to post the original version of this joke.

[Rakala]

Granted. You feel the wrath of boxy.

I wish people would call me bacon man.

[Jairus]

Granted. They do so because you're made out of bacon. Tasty, tasty, bacon. *licks lips*

I wish that people knew that soylent green was actually made of SOY and LENTils.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

All the people who claim that as the most iconic spoiler of all time track you down and beat you up.


I wish the food at my school cafeteria was at least marginally more palatable.

[Jairus]

Granted. It's soylent. All the nutrition you could need, and it doesn't taste like crap. In fact, it doesn't taste like anything. Congratulations.

I wish that the next poster would get their favorite cookie.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

I get a giant delicious black and white cookie that is several miles in radius. Being unable to eat it all myself, and thankful to you for replacing the garbage at my caf with relatively benign soylent, I offer you some. Tragically, Jairus chokes to death on the cookie fragment.


I wish I wouldn't make stupid predicitons that then turn out to be 100% wrong.

[Colgatecrusader]

granted, you make a stupid prediction that your house will be hit by a meteor, and it comes true!

I wish i wouldn't always reply to your posts

[Rakala]

Granted. We cut off your hands.

I wish for about 14 ninjas.

[Lysander]

Granted, but since they're about 14 ninjas thay are each missing a few limbs.

I wish to extricate myself from the premises.   

[Colgatecrusader]

granted, you are banned and not allowed to return to the forum, EVA!

i wish i knew why we had a singing kirby as one of our smilies.

[Rakala]

Granted. The knowledge gives you a head ache.

I wish for laser vision.

[Vidar]

I wish for laser vision.

Granted: you can now see lasers.

I want a lifetime supply of fudge in all the flavours imaginable, and some flavours that can't be imagined.

[Rakala]

Granted. You get fat and you get acne.

I wish my internal organs would be replaced with cookies.

[Colgatecrusader]

(oh come on this is too easy)
granted. your dog/littlesister/othermemberofyourfamily (pick one) eat you alive.

I wish i wasn't hungry.

[Lisky]

Granted, but what you didnt realise is that some point in the last few days, you've become a member in the ranks of the undead, and thus are forced to eat and turn thoes around you....

i wish for a new 28(time) movie, as in a sequel to 28 days later... preferably one that is awesome as the original

[Colgatecrusader]

done, it's about a crystal meth addict... o [censored] i confused 28 days and 28 days later. i must be Pam

I wish i had some cookies.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. But they are a little dry.

I wish for mild snow flurries without black ice.