Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Darkdragon]

Said junkyard devours you whole.

I wish the reliability of Wikipedia would be of such quality that its accuracy would not be doubted by pedagogic persons.

[Slowtini]

Granted, but now nobody uses it.

I wish I had the ability to shoot noodles out of my fingertips as a superpower.

Kinda' like that one dane cook sketch. The only one I liked.

Shooting pasta at liars. Enjoy your noodles, you liar.

[Rakala]

Granted. Dane Cook sues you for copyright infringement. Whether you win or not is unimportant because either way you spend alot on legal fees.

I wish people could be more original.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Unfortunately, being original becomes such a value that it trumps even efficiency. You die when instead of the doctor giving you the same flu shot that inoculated the last guy, he injects you full of KCl mixed in with some herbal medicines so he can "see what happens".

I wish I hadn't procrastinated to the point where I have a ton of work to do in a paltry week.

[Jairus]

Granted. You swap with me. Unfortunately, I'm in the exact same boat as you...

I wish the same thing as Corgatha.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

Having done all of your work on time, your stress level shoots through the sky and the next thing you realize, you can't move your arms. And the room is oddly padded......



I wish I could get the Radetzky march out of my head.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. It's been replaced by the duck dance song. Good luck with that.


I wish I'd got more done today. Or at least that I felt I'd got more done.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You now get an overwhelming sense of satisfaction, almost euphoria, from doing nothing. You become so unmotivated that you can't even feed yourself, and are attached to an IV for the rest of your life.

I wish I could write more quickly without sacrificing quality.

[Lysander]

Granted, but the carpel tunnel quickly puts a stop to your writing altogether.

I wish for this wish to come true.   

[Rakala]

Granted...

I wish Dr Seuss controlled the universe.

[Angel]

Your wish was granted, it came true
But now we're not sure what to do
For Geisel died many years ago
It's not the same when someone else tries, y'know?

I wish those creeps who get off to movies like the "Saw" franchise would stop it. That way, I could enjoy the thrill of a perfectly good horror/suspense movie in ethical peace.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

We agree!

Oh, but I have to corrupt your wish, right? Uhm. Lessee....................... Ok, all of those perverts are brutally hacked apart by real life psychoes. And then with the demographic that principally watches horror/suspense films so drastically reduced, it becomes less profitable to write them, so no new horror/suspense movies are made.


Seriously though, I wish that the "series death effect" didn't happen to horror films. You know how like the first one is bloody, but clever, and then how the successor ones just get bloodier and more gory, and start to leave out all the clever and interesting parts? I wish that didn't happen.

[Lysander]

Granted, but as there are so few of us that believe more blood does not equal better movie, with said movies being demolished the horror/suspense genre is slowly disregarded and are no longer produces.

I wish for every button on the keyboard to have a special use with the function key.      

[Rakala]

Granted, they all give your computer a virus.

I wish I had hugz.

[shadowterm]

granted, however, we interpreted the Z to mean extremeness. You will be hugged repeatedly with over 9000 PSI's of force until you die

I wish for cookies.

[Lysander]

Granted. They have a crab salad filling.

I wish to see through the looking glass.   

[Slowtini]

Granted.
The looking glass is cracked though.

I wish for a roll of duct tape.

[Rakala]

Granted. It is used to bind and gag you.

I wish that the electric car hadn't been killed and people would be driving them since they're zero emission and more effective than internal combustion cars.

[Slowtini]

Granted.
Your battery's dead, and the plugin slot's rusted tight.

I wish for MORE SUN DRIED TOMATO POTATO CHIPS.
They are the definition of delicious.

[Rakala]

Granted. They're just a little too dry.

I wish I lived in Kong Studios.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

The lack of solid, physical food soon becomes very inconvienent.


I wish I could stretch out this kink in my back

[Rakala]

Granted. Your the kink in your back is removed, Mortal Kombat style.

I wish people knew what Kong Studios was.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

They do, but they make fun of you for liking Gorillaz.


I wish the LSAT test I have tomorrow wasn't affecting my nerves so.

[Dagardo]

Granted, now it's shortening your attention span, and you just mark answers and fail because you dont read what you're supposed to.

I wish to shoot a fish in a barrel.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You're in the barrel, too.


I wish I had a better corruption for that one.

[Mao]

Granted, but it still kinda sucked.  Of course with all the smart mouthed people here on the forum everyone takes the time to comment to that effect.

I wish I didn't have to work on this defect.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You have other, hugely gaping defects that need work on beforehand.

I wish I were better at chess. Preferably involving a method that doesn't take a lot of work.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You become the undisputed master of Taikyoku Shogi, a version of Japanese chess. Except the games take so long nobody else wants to play a game.

I wish my handwriting was better.

[Angel]

Granted, but your thoughts are more incoherent.

I wish you could will away ailments and diseases.

[Lysander]

Granted, but your will diminishes slightly every time a disease or ailment does.

I wish for a suicidal dream.