Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Darkdragon]

Granted. The day in question also happens to be Friday the Thirteenth.
Not have something to go wrong? I think you're asking for too much.

I wish to be able to flawlessly execute any manoeuvrer, no matter how improbable, when in combat or in mortal peril.

[Lysander]

Granted, but like any spy movie the antagonist naturally has a way to counter any move in any situation at least once.

I wish for sweat.   

[Lisky]

granted, you are handcuffed to the bench of a locker room at your local YMCA... you are now stuck with sweaty old people for the rest of the foreseeable future...

i wish to feel more alert tonight...

[Tyranastrasz]

Granted: You hear the bullet coming as it tears through your house and shoots off all 10 of your fingers in a freak accident that leaves you unable to ever use the computer again.

I wish I had a billion dollar Barnes & Noble gift card.

[Lysander]

Granted, but having gained such revenue by whomever purchased said card the store shuts down indefinitely while the head partners have a party leaving you unable to use said card.

I wish for the last drop of my blood.   

[Angel]

Granted, but you're not conscious to appreciate it.

I wish I needed glasses.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You need glasses to look at the sun.

I wish I had more time to read for leisure.

[Lysander]

Granted, but having so little free time normally, your body forces you to sleep in this new time of freedom.

I wish for exhibit 13.   

[Slowtini]

You get exhibit 31.

I wish I could control the armies with my mind.

[meany]

Granted, however you can only do it for five seconds, then they all swarm you and beat you with salamis.

I wish for the Kingship of France.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, unfortunately France was abandoned because the Germans have invaded. Fortunately You've  have been sent in by the Scottish government and allied forces to disarm a munitions silloh. Granted as king you are not alone. In a random act of kindness the French released all of their mentally ill and criminally insane into the streets.... enjoy your new title as the king of hearts.

I wish for a boat load of money.     

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You get the largest cargo boat in the world filled to the top with Reichsmarks. They are, of course, obsolete (Since June 1948)

I wish I hadn't just wasted 6 hours being nostalgic.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You just wasted twelve.


I wish I could gt th  ky on this kyboard to work proprly.

[Lysander]

Grantd, you'r issu mystriously transfrs to my kyboard. Now I'm sad.

I wish for a home run contest.   

[e_voyager]

granted you come in last and run home crying

i wish for a cave of my own

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You are now forced to live in it and never leave it.

I wish time didn't fly and instead would crawl.

[Lysander]

Granted, instead of you dying with a quick stab to the face time crawls to allow you to feel every inch of pain.

I wish for the last celebration.   

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. You celebrate, all alone. Completely, and forever.

I wish for a cup of coffee and a good night's sleep.

[Darkdragon]

You can't have both at the same time. Coffee is a stimulant and prevents people from having a good night's sleep. But let's assume you put these two contradictory things together - and say that a robber came into your house at night and stole all your valuables.

I wish I wasn't such a master procrastinator.

[Lysander]

Granted, you are now a master of sloth and never get anything done at all.

I wish for the path you walk.   

[Lisky]

Granted, it lands on top of you...  the concrete sidewalk has been airlifted from main campus, and precision dropped, right on your place of residence... you now have ruins, coated in several tons of concrete...

i wish my midterms were easy and painless this week... right now i think i'd prefer to be mauled by a bear... at least that comes with a morphine drip... 

[Arcblade]

You finish your midterms, which were indeed easy and painless, only to find out that you now get to graduate Kindergarten.  Have fun going through middle school again!

I wish I could regain the pint of blood I just donated.  My arm hurts. 

[Drase]

Granted. But you get several other pints from other as well, some with various diseases.

I wish my dorm room had a kitchen area so i could cook my own meals

[Arcblade]

Granted.  However, the kitchen your room has is much like my floor's kitchen.  Ugly, messy, smelly, and unpredictable.  Your oven can't hold a constant temperature, and is off by about 25 degrees in either direction on any given day.  Your microwave smells like burnt flesh and hair.  And your counters are caked with decades of filth that won't come off no matter how hard you scrub.  Enjoy your wonderful homemade food!

I wish for a wish. 

[Drase]

Granted, but your wish was the wish that gave you the wish in the first place. So you just gained and wasted a wish.

I wish i didn't have to sleep

[Angel]

Granted. Now, every night, you have to sit through at least ten hours of infomercials in order to function.

I wish I had less homework.

[Lysander]

Granted, you are kicked out of school and are no longer allowed anywhere thus preventing you from obtaining any education or degree.

I wish to crawl away.   

[Drase]

Granted. You crawl away into a cave and run into a hungry bear.

I wish I had good food right now

[Lisky]

Granted, but you failed to specify where it's going... the mafia force a whole turkey up your... well, i think you get the picture...

I wish for another one of my roommate's mom's homemade apple torte cakes to be sitting in my fridge, in perfect condition, where the only physical contact with the cake was in the act of it being made, and the cake, it's plate, and cover are all free of disease or harmful chemicals

[Drase]

Granted, But your fridge has been kidnapped and now you must go on a 3 month adventure to retrieve it from the depths of a volcano.

I wish I could draw better over all