Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Model Omega]

granted, but the goddess is athena and lays waist to your mind.

I wish I was a puppy.

[Angel]

Granted. You get neutered.

I wish I wasn't such a packrat.

[Mao]

Granted.  You lose all of your worldly possessions in a flash of fire and destruction thus freeing you from your packrat status.

I wish for a speedy and correct completion and of my current assignment.

[Model Omega]

(you should have forseen this) Granted, but your teacher doesn't like you and fails you.

I wish I wish upon thy fish my handsome man doth give thy kish.

[Tyranastrasz]

Granted, but you talk to him like that, creeping him out to the point that he leaves you.

I wish that I had a robot to take out the trash for me.

[Model Omega]

Granted, he takes you out.                  OOOOOOH!

I wish I had more stuffed grape leaves.

[Tyranastrasz]

Granted, but they burst into flames for no apparent reason, and the sheer volume of them means that your entire house is up in flames in a matter of seconds.

I wish I'd had something better than tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner /cry

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

You have the most sumptous banquet you can think of, and what's more, you have an audience of a thousand hungry beggars to watch you eat it.


I wish I was in a better mood.

[Tyranastrasz]

Granted. You get to watch as I hold a ping pong tournament to find out which hungry beggar gets to have a bit of my food.

I wish my internet wasn't such epic fail.

[shadowterm]

Granted, the connection to your internet is another story. . .

I wish the updates would finish! D8<

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, the updates to Winnie the  pooh have made Christopher Robin a girl, and the updates to zero hour have made a drama into a comedy, the updates to Ben 10 have left it with far different aliens and the updates to Jake Long have left him almost unrecognizable....please stand by for further updates, your update will be processed in the order in which it was received. 


I wish the boogie of the boogie man was no longer boogers.

[Mao]

Granted.  Since his boogie isn't boogers anymore he isn't sure where or how to get down anymore.  He then wanders the world in search of new places and ways to get funky with his bad self but alas he cannot.  He can no longer find his release.  Over time he grows disconnected and complacent.  He falls into a pit of self loathing, so deep that not even his beloved task of frightening little girls and boys can bring him any cheer.  Finally, he snaps and during another repetitive attempt at scaring people (he's moved beyond just boys and girls now out of desperation) and commits a massacre the likes of which has not been seen by humanity.  As the list of victims is released to the rest of the world, your name was at the top of the list.

I wish I wouldn't get interrupted when I'm trying to code for one project with another one that hasn't even been approved and properly prioritized by my manager yet.

[Arcblade]

Granted, you get laid off and can't get another job in this crappy economy.


I wish I had Amber's email so I could show her where to buy the mooncakes she's narfing about.  She could get them mailed to her.  Alternatively, a nice search of "buy mooncakes" on About.com would suffice.

[Mao]

Granted.  You check her profile like a smart forumite and get her email.  However upon emailing her you make the mistake of thinking she's living in the United States (as you've done with me, my economy isn't doing that bad right now thank you very much) and she chews you out for sending her info about food that she still can't have due to how far way it is and for getting her hopes up over nothing.

I wish people wouldn't always assume that I'm from the United States.

[Lysander]

Granted, somehow people find your exact address and bother you personally instead of cybernetically, trying to convince you to move to the US.

I wish for various artists.   

[GabrielsThoughts]

@ Mao Laoren granted, we all assume you're from the planet earth....which is distressing to you because you're an alien from planet 51... which is completely possible now that earth has developed wi-fi and simply because alien technology comes with built in translators. "now remember to eat all your vegetables, or the monster'll get you."

@Lysander Granted Various martial artists, identified as ninja burst out of your closet. and make you unwish your last wish.

I wish my comic was published in paper format and that is was more popular than any of the works of  Archie, DC, Malibu, Marvel, VIZ, and Tokyopop, combined...and that it miraculously doesn't find it's way bootlegged on pirate bay, or  bit torrent.

[Omega]

Done! It is printed to a toilet paper and people will buy it, because it's a bit cheaper than the other brands. No need to draw new comics. It's not really the story or the art that the people keep buying that stuff.

I wish for a new hat.

[Lisky]

Granted, unfortunatly it's a goofy court jester style hat, and you get made fun of...

i wish i could find a decent eraser...

[Arcblade]

You find an eraser with a sense of morals and principles.  However, it also has sentience and knives, and you can't bear to kill it by using it.  You're forced to do without erasers for the rest of your life due to the decent eraser following you around.

@Mao Laoren - I was of the impression that the world economy sucked.  Not necessarily the US economy.  No offense meant, and no assumptions made.  I'm glad your economy isn't terrible.

I wish people wouldn't misunderstand me. 

[Lisky]

Granted, they just ignore you instead... starting... NOW!

I wish i had powers like Richard from LFG

[Arcblade]

You gain the powers, and just like Richard, lose the grand scale of your memory.  Shortly thereafter, a swarm of zealous paladins destroys you.

I wish my postcount wasn't eternally stuck on 1. 

[Lisky]

Granted, you learn that the arena doesn't actually count as posts 

I wish i had a mysterious stranger legally give me 100 million dollars, US, and deposit it in several bank accounts, which only i have access to

[Arcblade]

Granted.  You find out only later that you can only touch those accounts and their money if you're going to donate it to schools, charities, or museums.  No shiny new computer for you.

I wish the Arena counted posts. 

[Tyranastrasz]

Granted. Sadly, The Arena is deleted soon afterward.

I wish my computer's built-in wireless network card was the highest quality money and threatening computer geeks could buy.

[Arcblade]

Granted.  Shortly thereafter, the aforethreatened geeks band together, hack your computer, format your hard drive, and disappear forever. 

I wish electricity was too cheap to meter. 

[Tyranastrasz]

Granted. While using your free electricity, a cloud forms above you (and your free-electricity-using object) and drenches you with water. 

I wish that I had more money, and that it was gained legally.

[Lisky]

Granted, unfortunatly, it also happens that whatever extra money you make, the IRS(or it's equivalent) takes away, thanks to an undetectable computer glitch

I wish i had a few more hours to fool around with tonight

[shadowterm]

Granted, you are unable to pleasure those hours.

I wish I hadn't lost the game.

[Tyranastrasz]

Granted.
However, you are now intrigued by this image, and are forced to go to xkcd and start reading the awesomeness contained within.

I wish that all the webcomics I read updated as often as that one.

[shadowterm]

Granted, you now have to wait longer for the ones that are updated daily.

I wish people would find out if I'd already read the entire archive of a comic before telling me to read it.