Corrupt a Wish, Part Trois

[Netrogo]

Granted. However in order to do so you yourself are pulled into the internet first. Upon arrival you blue screen, need to reboot, and accidentally get formatted.

I wish it would rain chocolate bars.

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. But they are Willy Wonka bars, WHICH DON'T EXIST! 

I wish that I was a computer virus (oh man i'm REALLY stretching for wishes now)

[Netrogo]

Granted, however you're a very weak virus and you get deleted by AVG Free Edition shortly after you start your trip into the internet.

Also HA FAIL! Wonka bars DO exist. They sell them in candy stores here in Toronto.

I wish that I could smite my enemies with sarcasm alone.

[Boog]

In the beginning, it works. However, you are eventually faced with somebody who has no imagination or sufficient social skills with which to comprehend your sarcasm; a high school guidance counsiler. The intended target being invulnerable to your assault, the full force of your wit and eye rolling is brought against your very self, obliterating you.
Either that, or you get eaten by a grue.

I wish for a patch for stress addiction.

[Caswin]

I wish for a patch for stress addiction.

Such patches are installed on computers all over the world, making them stress-free, and therefore capable of handling that much more work.  Naturally, the way the system's going, the fact that more work can be done means you must now put that much more work into these stress-free computers.
Break's over.  [Tweet!]

I wish Steven Spielberg would make a live-action G.I. Joe movie. (And don't say he makes a ham-handed effort to turn COBRA into the real heroes.  I'm taking that as a given.)

[Netrogo]

Granted. However he only produces the film because he's busy with other projects at the moment and he hires Uwe Boll to direct it. Anyone who knows anything about films will know how truly utterly horrible that is.

I wish I was Captain of the flying dutchman pirate ship.

[Valynth]

Granted, but now you are constantly annoyed by a yellow sponge with square pants named bob.

I wish people would listen to logic.

[Angel]

Granted, but since logic is subjective, you're gonna need to find that guy who knows the meaning of life and get everyone to listen to him.

I wish I could find my old Teddy... I miss him.

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. But when you find him, you see that he has become all moth-eaten, mold-covered, and various-insect-infested. The thing looks like something out of a horror film.

I wish I didn't have to corrupt the above wish.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, I do corrupt his wish and you are transformed into a protozoa.

I wish for some moolah.

[Angel]

Granted. Have fun with your singing cow.

I wish I could go with my friends to AnimeNEXT this year.

[Boog]

Granted, you just don't come back. Here's hoping you can live off of pockey and the occasional unfortunate otaku.

I wish for many bottles of ginger ale. OVER NINE THOUSAND of them!
(Subtext: Obviously, I wish to be banned from the internet for saying something like that)

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted you receive 9,001 empty 2 liter bottles of Canada Dry. I hope you enjoy recycling pal.

I wish to know if I am insane crazy, or crazy insane, or if I'm sane and everyone else is nuts.

[Netrogo]

Granted. However the resulting development of a higher concsious capability of determining your own mental status shorts out your, incapable to adapt to higher thought process, mind. This leaves you in a permanent coma.

I wish Mr Bubbles (the pink dude on the bubble bath bottle) was a real living creature.

[e_voyager]

granted but he pops and dies then hunts you fore making his real in the first place.

i wish i had a portal generator built into my arm cannon

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, it overheats and there is an explosion that destroys the universe... again

I wish I was the smartest man in the world.

[Netrogo]

Granted. However to balance things out every woman in the world is twice as smart as you, the resulting power shift of intelligence leads to the women taking over the world and enslaving all the men and treating them like cattle.

I wish I was kirby

[Unreliabel Dragon]

Granted you are now Kirby. You now live your life going on dangerous adventures and fighting many enemies that want you dead. 

I wish I wasn't so unreliable

[Boog]

Congradulations, now you're the responsible guy in your social circle. Welcome to hell, m'boy.

I wish skittles made honking noises when you ate them. Ha, corrupt that!

[Netrogo]

Granted, however since they're so small the sound is too quiet to be well heard and is virtually indistinguishable from the sound of chewing them.

(HA!)


I wish I was the biggest @$$hole on the planet.

(Corrupt THAT)

[Unreliabel Dragon]

Granted the Earth's dodo comes out of you.Eventually you get so smelly that we send you into space and you never come back

I wish I was Peter Griffin from Family Guy

[Boog]

Granted. However, you find yourself in some kid's youtube AMV featuring every time our dear Mr. Griffen has been hit in the crotch. Have fun with that.

I wish for my own personal golem kiln a la Kiln People.

[Netrogo]

Granted. However my lack of knowing what you meant by 'kiln a la kiln people' leads me to make the closest assumption possible and give you a golem that likes 'killin a la killin people' so upon coming into existance your golem sees that you are infact people and kills you.

I wish to be head of the church of the triple fish god.

[TheGreyRonin]

 Granted, though one of the Church's first and most unbreakable edicts is that the head of the Church must be gutted, smoked, and served with lemon wedges and basil within the hour. Enjoy.

I wish the tornado that hit Muscatine Iowa had missed Greenwood Cemetary and plowed through the town instead.

[Netrogo]

Granted. Now the cemetary's twice as full and there's nobody around to visit it or tend to it, so it falls into a state of disrepair and overgrowth.

(Geez I feel like a bastard over that one)


I wish I didn't feel like a bastard about that wish I corrupted.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Now you feel like a, well, female dog.


I wish I had  a little more time everyday. not a lot, just another half hour or so.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted.  You get a half hour less of sleep every night, but you lose that half hour anyway due to wandering around like a zombie for a half hour after you wake up.

I wish I knew the secret to wealth, happiness, and everlasting life.

[Netrogo]

Granted. However moments after learning everything you are hit upon the head by a cliche falling flower pot which gives you a severe case of amnesia, leaving you incapable of even remembering your own name.

Oh I wish, I wish I didn't kill that fish...

[Unreliabel Dragon]

granted you severly injured it

I wish everything in the world was free

[Netrogo]

Granted. However your lack of clarity leads to the words being taken to litterally. On top of all things in the world costing nothing, now every single person in prison is roaming the streets again. Every demon ever sealed for our safety is now free. The world itself is plunged into utter chaos as order has no control over those who would destroy it.

I wish for a million wishes.