Corrupt a Wish, Part Trois

[Ryudo Lee]

(Funny thing that, I'm currently reading Grunts)

Granted, you now work for the US government.  Great cushy job, good pay, and people who are afraid to move their mouse.  Unfortunately, by the time your contract expires, you have to go back out into the private sector and fail miserably when you are handed fifteen overdue week-long projects and they wonder why they're not done at the end of that day.

I wish I could stick to a healthy diet.

[Roureem Egas]

Granted. However, your definition of a healthy diet somehow warps into carrots and celery only.

I wish I didn't fall asleep in school so often.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You get caught on a truancy charge, convicted, and expelled.



I wish I was able to get this jumpstart install finished.

[GabrielsThoughts]

  granted, it takes 72 hours and you have to fill out a form or enter a pass code every five minutes and the upload won't continue until you finished every single form. Additionally you can't install the software over a network and are forced to do this for each additional computer in the office or home network.


I wish for a very important wish.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I sense someone doesn't know what a jumpstart install is. :-)

It's a network automated install process for Solaris. Sadly, I've been working on -duplicating- one, rather than setting one up from scratch, so there's a whole bunch of scripts I've been messing with to figure out what the heck I was supposed to be copying, and what the current scripts are doing, etc etc.

Still.. having Solaris on every machine in the office sounds more like heaven than a corrupted wish...

Oh, yes. Where was I?

I wish for a very important wish.

Ah, yes. Granted. Sadly, nobody can tell you what the wish was, nor can you figure it out. Obviously it was important, but all trace of it ever having been wished has vanished as if it never was, leaving you wondering, vaguely, if you ever wished at all. The lack of an answer will pursue you for the rest of your days, and you will die, in the end, still wondering what you wished for, and if it happened or not.


I wish I wasn't quite so geeky sometimes. :-]

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. You are now a nerd, which, technically, IS somehing different, but the common person doesn't know the difference, and everyone still regards you as a geek.

I wish that there could be a sequel to Metal Arms: Glitch In The System. I want more 3-foot, half-ton, artillery-toting, adorablely-cute-yellow-colored, way-overly-foulmouthed robots!

[Alan Garou]

Granted. They use your home town to film it, using real mechs, and your town is nothing but rubble at the end of the production. Enjoy watching the film in your battle-scarred hovel.

I wish I could juggle.

[Sunblink]

Granted. You become so overconfident in your mad juggling skillz that you attempt to juggle flaming chainsaws. One of them falls and... well... the rest is self-explanatory.

What? I said you could juggle. But I never said you could do it well.

I wish I had more good music to listen to.

~Keaton the Black Jackal

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but what's good to you ends up being something that makes dogs bark at all hours of the night, makes cats screech at the very sound of it, and other people to wonder about what the heck is wrong with you.

I wish I had a working replica of the Batcave.

[Roureem Egas]

Granted. You're billed 3.4 billion dollars for a 1/256th working model of the bat cave. It'll be ready in half a century, barring nitpicking from super nerds and delays in the building process.

I wish I didn't sit next on the next computer over from that smelly guy. >_>

[Valynth]

Granted, you now sit near a smelly girl.

I wish I was President of the U.S. so I could fix many of our recent mistakes.

[e_voyager]

granted but the bureaucracy frustrates you every step of the way.

i wish i could  just  make my own place far away form others.

[Zedd]

Granted, You now live in the center of the earth and the only thing you have to worry about is cyborg John Hennry,your landlord.

I wish I could have time and money to get some proper,working and safe contact lences

[Caswin]

I wish I could have time and money to get some proper,working and safe contact lences

In a wacky new twist on that Twilight Zone episode, time freezes.  There is the time now, and soon, you can see just fine... if only everything and everyone wasn't frozen forever.

I wish for a nice, tasty, and preferably not alive in any way pizza.

[Valynth]

You are now the owner of the world's first mercury pizza, it's rumored to be the tastiest pizza in the world, so tasty, in fact, that you'll die from joy in one bite.   At least thats the cultist's theory anyway.

I wish I could gain muscle mass without becoming over-wieght or grossly disporportional.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted you now look like a five year old, your muscles are so compacted no one can tell you have any... lots of luck finding some one who isn't a pedifile to be in a healthy relationship with you.

I wish that I had the ability to read my cat's thoughts.

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. They use your home town to film it, using real mechs, and your town is nothing but rubble at the end of the production. Enjoy watching the film in your battle-scarred hovel.

(Metal Arms isn't a movie. Its an old Xbox game. And there are no mechs, just the 3, 4-foot robots.)

Granted, but the cat saw you naked a while ago, and that image stuck in the poor cat's mind. When you read it, you see that image, and a mental feedback loop is set up. You and your cat's heads both explode after about five seconds.

I wish that SOMEONE, ANYONE here knows what the hell Metal Arms is besides me.

[Roureem Egas]

Granted. Everyone who knows about it cares very little about it, and lint is the newest craze of the year.

I wish for ice cream.

[Caswin]

I wish for ice cream.

In defiance of about half the laws of physics, as well as conventional and scientific wisdom, ice is converted into a creamlike form.  It's cold, goopy stuff, with a bizarre texture that still manages to be all runny with regular water.
Highly gross.  Totally useless.  All yours.

I wish for resolution to all those maddening TV cliffhangers.

[Ouai]

Granted. All the resolutions turn out to be a total letdown.


I wish my job payed more.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted. However, while it looks like you are being paid more on the books, it is clear because of an economic downturn and cost of living increases, you are now earning less than you were before.

I wish for a magical Twinkie.

[Valynth]

Granted, however you eat the twinkie before you realize that the nuke spell that made the twinkie magical activates once it enters a stomach.

I wish for rain in my state.

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. Hurricane Katrina in your general vicinity.

I wish I could play DnD with my buddies more often.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, you and your group now playing World's Largest Dungeon non-stop... See you in a year or so.

I wish there were a way to stop hurricanes before they start.

[Valynth]

Granted, unfortunately the device only works at the point that the future hurricane is a simple rain cloud, good luck telling the difference before it becomes a hurricane.

I wish I had an decent avatar.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, PM me later with specifics of what you want your avatar to look like, and I'll see what I can do, unfortunately you may have to wait a while, and you might not like what you get.

I wish I was amazing.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but everyone else around you becomes awe inspiring and so very few people pay attention to you anymore.

I wish I could have Meta Knight's sword.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you now have it but like me have no idea what it is or what to do with it.

I wish I could make robots.

[Zedd]

Granted, Sadly the goverment steals your ideas and want to take them and kill their creator

I wish ice cream headaches wherent such a pain

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted,the  next time you get an ice cream headache place your lounge to the roof of your mouth withing a matter of minutes the pain is gone... unfortunately your toung is stuck that way.

I wish for movie tickets.