Corrupt a Wish, Part Trois

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Sadly, you've already used nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine.

Oh, sorry. I miscounted. Make that an even million.



I wish I didn't have to go sleep now.

[Netrogo]

Granted, you now have the ability to gain energy from various airborne natural sources making it so you no longer need to sleep. However shortly after you get your wish granted you head out for a walk and spot Ryundo Lee just as he hears you come up behind him a cliche flower pot falls upon his head giving him amnesia. The flower pot bounces off his head and smacks you square in the face knocking you into a coma.

(Wow I just realized i seem to favor corrupting wishes with comas )

I wish I had an infinite supply of Pepsi Blue and Vanilla Coke.

[e_voyager]

granted however you can neither sell nor drink it

i wish that you would not grant this wish

[Netrogo]

Not granted! However by not granting it I have in fact granted it which means I didn't grant it which means I did grant it which means I didn't grant it which means I did grant it which means I didn't grant it which means I did grant it which means I didn't grant it which means I did grant it which means I didn't grant it which means I did grant it *universe implodes*

I wish there really was a Jenova's Witness Church of the One Winged Angle of Latter Day Summons, and that they had an all out war with the Jehovah's Witnesses.

[Caswin]

I wish there really was a Jenova's Witness Church of the One Winged Angle of Latter Day Summons, and that they had an all out war with the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Better yet, they win.  Didn't see that coming.  That angle in their name, though?  Turns out it's 360 degrees.  All-inclusive.  And you thought Jehova's Witnesses were bad at proselytizing...?

I wish Transformers: The Movie (the old one) had been split into a bunch of smaller stories. (Because dangit, when Orson Welles plays a planet-devouring entity - play what you know, I guess - I want to see it get some development!)

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but Orson only gets paid through the pilot episode.  All the other episodes have Drew Carey playing that particular part.

I wish I could genetically engineer rabites.

[Angel]

Granted. Since I don't really know what a rabite is, I'm gonna assume it's a rabid vampiric rabbit. Better use extra protection while you're playing God!

I wish I could figure out who pioneered the "long red coat" fashion in anime. (Chrno? Alucard? Vincent? Vash? Edward?)

[GabrielsThoughts]

the answer you seek is Vash, unfortunately this may not be correct as I'm sure you will realize the corruptibility of the answers you seek as you are now a goldfish, unfortunately you forget the answer 3 seconds later.

I wish for another take on the previous wish

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but you do an even worse job the second time around.

I wish I could comprehend the root of all languages.

[e_voyager]

granted but at this point the languages have become to separated and muted over the years that learn the root not only does you no good but it drives you instant turning your brain to mush in the span of 60 seconds.

i wish for love.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, you're now at a dominatrix party and everyone wants a piece of you.  Hey, you always hurt the ones you love.

I wish I had more time to eat a healthy breakfast in the morning and still have time to get to work on time and still get enough sleep at night.

[Caswin]

Granted, but Orson only gets paid through the pilot episode.  All the other episodes have Drew Carey playing that particular part.

Ha, I'd pay to watch that...

I wish I had more time to eat a healthy breakfast in the morning and still have time to get to work on time and still get enough sleep at night.

Welcome to the North Pole!  Have a nice life!

I wish I were the Doctor's next assistant.

[Zedd]

Granted! You are now age casted to be a teen for rest your stardom! Muwhahahahaha!

Wish someone gave Kaskar a brain or least a wit so he wouldnt post so foolish like

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. However, being the sort he is, he now has to post, only now, he's posting obscure theories, and you still don't understand a word he's saying.

What's more, everyone blames you for the sorry state of affairs.


I wish I had been a little more organised this morning.

[Jigsaw Forte]

Granted. You now have OCD to the point that if the toast is not burned to an exact shade of golden brown down to its hexadecimal code, you are neutrotically paralyzed and unable to do any other work until it's right.

I wish I knew what everyone else wanted.

[e_voyager]

granted but when you reach my desires you are driven completely mad and lose your own

i wish that i knew why others are confused buy the way i do things

[Angel]

Granted, but after finding the reason, you immediately throw yourself in a loony bin.

I wish I could meet Steve Blum in person.

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted, unfortunately it isn't the Steve Blum you were thinking of and you now meet Steve Blum White supremacist and  inventor of a useless tool that would have replaced/revolutionized the plunger, if he hadn't killed his wife with it. You my friend are now a wealthy, influential accountant turned criminal, a stereotypical falsely accused black man for a white collar crime you didn't commit while working at Enron. you are in prison because the Vice President of the company set you up to take the fall for him. Years of leaning how to talk your way out of a bad situation has not prepared you for the beating Mr. Blum is about to give you.


I wish I could perform all mathematical computations perfectly and without error.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but now grammatical and therefore social nuances are lost to you so you can't even communicate your mathematical prowess to other people.

I wish I could put out large fires with just my voice.

[Angel]

Granted, but the first place you test this is in a city. It works, but the residents of the building across the street are furious about their windows being broken just to save two apartments. Better save up for a plane ticket to Africa - I hear they have great forest fires!

I wish acne didn't exist.

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. Everyone has terminal face cancer instead, and we still don't have a cure. Nice going.

(Since I can't think of a wish, my cousin Tiana here will will give me one...
ok)
My cousin Tiana wishes that we had tri-tip for dinner instead of hamburgers.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but it was cooked horribly wrong.  Even the dog won't eat it.

I wish the the marquee function was actually useful.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted
Of course, this result makes things horrible for anyone with taste, and they all band together and make your live a misery.

A misery that slides from one side all the way over to the other, then reappears on the original side and slides over again, but a misery nonetheless.

As a bonus, they include a blink tag.




I wish I was able to concentrate on the work I should be doing, instead of reading the forum...

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, and during your long absence you lose your admin priveledges and your account gets locked.  It was nice talking to you while it lasted llearch.

I wish I could be caught up in a celebrity love triangle.

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted, you are now in a celebrity love triangle with Paris Hilton and Nichol Richie, and before you think that's not so bad, you soon realise you are Paris Hilton, and you are now serving ot her prison sentence...unfortunately, whle you were in prision, there was some sort of Hilton scandal unknown to you involving the Accountants, Cybercrime, Identity Theft, and bankruptcy, and when you get out of prison the Hilton family no longer has any financial resorces. once your prision term has ended you will work at walmart, so you can afford to live in in a closet sized Weekly with 5 other homeless people.

I wish for penuts to rain from the sky.

[Angel]

Granted. You get trampled by crazed elephants before you can eat any.

I wish it wasn't raining so hard.

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. Instead of rain, you have a hailstorm, and the hail are all the size of turkeys. "We'll be lucky if this hailstorm doesn't destroy half of Furcadia!"

I wish that this laptop wireless cellular connection I'm using here in Ohio wasn't being so fussy.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Now it's working, but the uplink to everywhere else is down.

Enjoy your wireless link to nowhere. :-]


I wish I could read faster.

[e_voyager]

granted but now you only have a 2 kilobyte memory cash

i wish i could maintain my supersonic speed.

[techmaster-glitch]

Granted. You are able to travel at supersonic speeds whenever you like for as long as you want, but you also fly right over pretty much every dwelling in the world. You make so many annoying sonicbooms that the governments of the world band together and launch fighters, missles, and every other antiair weapon they have to shut you up.
And they succeed.

I wish that someone would make a GOOD movie based off of a big book (LOTR was pretty good though, the Harry Potter moveis are just meh, I don't particularly like them, and the Eragon movie was so ungodly awful that the director must burn in hell for all eternity for that abomination)