Corrupt a Wish, Part Trois

[Boog]

4chan

I wish Insecticomics updated twice daily.

[lucas marcone]

granted but the stories get weird and dramatic and when susan ends up with ricky it's just too much! larry had her fair and square! and you're so sad you die. the end




i wish i wern't so invincible in "defend the house: part duex"

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted.  You died.  Bad luck there.

I wish there were an easier and more effective way to study for my upcoming exam.

[Sienna Maiu - M T]

Granted, but this method involves a jack that plugs into your head, and the information overload drives you to madness.

I wish for sparklies.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, though you're probably going to want to throw that lit stick of TNT away from you and run in the other direction...

Whoops.  Too late.

I wish to win the lottery... twice.

[DarkAudit]

Granted. The winnings from one are all taken to pay taxes on the other and vice versa.

I wish for buckwheat pancakes.

[lucas marcone]

granted you are now a buckwheat pancake.







i wish for a flock of birds to eat that buckwheat pancake

[Hellcat]

granted they are pigeons and now... OH NOES they are flying over you and splat! You have white all over you.
I wish I had psychokinesis

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted, however the only thing you can move is buildings. And then only by millimetres.


I wish I had a better corruption for that.

[Hellcat]

Granted now you are good at corruptions, but mostly coming up with responses and you are called, e-mailed and mailed every day by people wanting advice on those things

I wish I was an ageless supreme overlord and master of the universe who because of my power would not be disturbed when I wanted to be alone

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You forget to read the Evil Overlord list, and manage to implement every single one of the items on it. Wrongly.


I wish I could afford a bigger house.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, unfortunately it's filled with furry porn, and the 25 genetically engineered furries you keep in the basement for that purpose are plotting to kill you...and turn your children into furries of lower intelligence.


I wish for more Klingon VS Furry events to occur worldwide.

[Angel]

Granted, but brawls start occurring between the Trekkies and the furries. Pretty soon, this leads to gang violence. And of course, amid all this are the jerks who keep TPing the arenas.

I wish House yaoi fanfiction would cease to exist.

[Sienna Maiu - M T]

Granted, but now Black_angel yuri has sprung up to replace it.

I wish I had a typewriter.

[Madd the Sane]

Granted, but all the keys jam the first time you try to use it.

I wish that there were faster PowerPC Macs out there that were reasonably priced.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. OS X (or 9 or 8 or 7 for that matter) won't run on them.


I wish I had warmer fingers.

[DarkAudit]

Granted. They're on fire.

I wish for supercalifragilisticespialidocious.

[Angel]

Granted. There's a broken record in your room now, playing that song over and over, on full blast. The power button's broken, and someone Gorilla Glued the plug to the socket.

I wish I knew the one true religion in the world.

[Madd the Sane]

Granted, but you know too much and God has to take you up because you'll blab to the whole world truths that it isn't ready for 

I wish that there was peace on earth, good will towards men during the whole year and not just during Christmas.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Women are excluded, and there is a mass uprising of the women, who take over the world and force you to specific masculine duties. These duties are rigorous and exhausting, and you don't live long.[1]


I wish I had the authoritorial gift to make better corruptions for these wishes.


[1] This is because wiring plugs, putting up shelves, sorting out the funny noise in attics and mowing lawns can eventually reduce even the strongest constitution.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but your authority is soon revoked after that incident involving 10lbs of potato salad, some chopsticks, and that guy from FedEx.

I wish for a hug from a nice person.

[Zedd]

Grandted, You get huged by a completey "nice" stranger who practicly wears nothing but a trenchcoat and is naked.

I wish for a giant fresh cooked chocolate chip cookie that wont kill me or make me sick

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, it makes you mentally unstable, blind, deaf, and dumb... but other than that, you're perfectly healthy.

I wish I had x-ray vision that would not hurt myself or others in any way.

[Hellcat]

granted, its your only vision and you see things you wish youve never seen

I wish for my own minions

[Angel]

Granted. But they unionize and demand more payment or they'll go on strike.

I wish I was more motivated to start my homework.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You didn't have any today, since your teacher forgot to give it to you.

Tomorrow, when you will have two days worth, you won't have any motivation.


I wish I had a few more ideas.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but they're really bad ideas that you really shouldn't act on.

I wish to never get any more aches and pains.

[Angel]

Granted. You have CIPA. No more aches and pains, all right...

I wish I could stop talking to myself.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you now start talking to plushies...and guess what! they talk back.


I wish for a rainstorm.

[Arcalane]

Granted. However, the storm is so intense that the entire area floods, submerging your home, inflicting massive property damage, and your insurance expired last night.

I wish the news subjects here on the forums would change more often.