a horrible DMFA pornfic...and a vocal reading thereof!(NSFW)

xHaZxMaTx · April 28, 2007, 04:54:52 AM

Let's see how many smilies portray my current emotions/reactions...

Vidar · April 28, 2007, 05:06:18 AM

Quote from: Hazzy on April 28, 2007, 04:54:52 AM
Let's see how many smilies portray my current emotions/reactions...

your forgot

and

llearch n'n'daCorna · April 28, 2007, 05:13:47 AM

Quote from: Amber Williams on April 28, 2007, 04:31:51 AM
... and Abel to go "HA! Now you're gay! Gotcha!" Which would have been just as un-canon...yet suprisingly more entertaining...

.. that's the next chapter? *giggle*

Amber Williams · April 28, 2007, 05:33:19 AM

Nah. The next chapter was apparently Wildy masturbating in jeans to lesbian porn and Mab/Alexsi in the hallway of Lost Lake.

icarus · April 28, 2007, 05:40:34 AM

SENTANCES YOU NEVER THINK YOU'D SAY, BROUGHT ABOUT BY THIS FIC!

zar used to read badfics out loud as she was a huge follower of GAFF (god awful fanfiction) before it went down. also the ficbitches on livejournal. so i've had the pleasures of oh so many horrors...usually right before falling asleep. the best/worst are where the authors unintentionally do HILARIOUS things. like one had a line something along the lines of

'lara croft was fucking being fucked by a dog and god damn she just could not believe this shit'
(the fic was serious, it was not tongue in cheek or meant to be silly)

if someone finds me some other really bad (but relatively short) fics i'll be glad to do more voice filled readings. i promise to break out meatwad for an extensive voice next time. and a deep southern twang.

King Of Hearts · April 28, 2007, 08:09:49 AM

Try doing impressions for the voices as well... maybe some foghorn leghorn or pepe le pew.

awaiting your next "project" anxiously.

lucas marcone · April 28, 2007, 08:13:25 AM

some one should sticky this.

Darkmoon · April 28, 2007, 08:29:46 AM

No, I think this forum would be better of if this wasn't made permanent.

RJ · April 28, 2007, 08:48:29 AM

Quote from: icarus on April 28, 2007, 05:40:34 AM
zar used to read badfics out loud as she was a huge follower of GAFF (god awful fanfiction) before it went down. also the ficbitches on livejournal. so i've had the pleasures of oh so many horrors...usually right before falling asleep. the best/worst are where the authors unintentionally do HILARIOUS things. like one had a line something along the lines of

Ah, the GAFF... apparently it'll back online soon (yippee, though "soon" probably means a year from now).

I miss it though- it went down just when everyone was flipping out over my lovely Harry Potter troll fic. Mwahaha...

superluser · April 28, 2007, 08:51:09 AM

Quote from: lucas marcone on April 28, 2007, 08:13:25 AMsome one should sticky this.

1.) Assuming that you intended the double entendre:

NO! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? EW! THAT'S YHE WORST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!

2.) Pretending the entendre went over my head:

NO! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? EW! THAT'S YHE WORST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!

Edit:

Quote from: RJ on April 28, 2007, 08:48:29 AMmy lovely Harry Potter troll fic.

You are my new bestest friend.

RJ · April 28, 2007, 09:32:36 AM

Quote from: superluser on April 28, 2007, 08:51:09 AM
Quote from: RJ on April 28, 2007, 08:48:29 AMmy lovely Harry Potter troll fic.

You are my new bestest friend.

Friends are awesome.

Here's a link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/285812/ (and also, look up the Mary Sue Doll Grotto, the character made it there too)

lucas marcone · April 28, 2007, 09:44:25 AM

bu...bu...but i just thiught that....i dunno...maybe iccy could do the same to other....like....fan fics and be funny and praised by all....n' stuff......nevermind. *slowly sulks back to the corner with the bad idea bears.*

Alondro · April 28, 2007, 09:54:44 AM

*Charles writes a DMFA pr0nfic! Note: Charles 3/4 of the way to becoming a 40-year old virgin...* Mab... uhm... touched Dan in places that... uhm... did things... *reads the high school biology book again* Ok, so Mab touched Dan's p... p-e-n-ice? Darn this Latin stuff. Anyway, they got all hot and bothered... which meant they had the radiator up too high, I guess. So they went to the freezer which was cool and rubbed ice all over themselves to get aroused... and it was dry ice cuz the colder stuff is, the hotter you feel. That's whhat I lurned from Myspace. Then Mab was like, "Oh Dan! Yur so awesome! Let's do it now!" So they kissed and the stork showed up 22 minutes later with the baby! The End.

llearch n'n'daCorna · April 28, 2007, 11:39:46 AM

Quote from: superluser on April 28, 2007, 08:51:09 AM
Quote from: lucas marcone on April 28, 2007, 08:13:25 AMsome one should sticky this.

1.) Assuming that you intended the double entendre:

NO! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? EW! THAT'S YHE WORST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!

2.) Pretending the entendre went over my head:

NO! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? EW! THAT'S YHE WORST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!

... that's a vote for sticky if ever I heard one. :-]

Quote from: Darkmoon on April 28, 2007, 08:29:46 AM
No, I think this forum would be better of if this wasn't made permanent.

Oddly enough, I disagree. :-] But then, we all know I'm twisted...

Darkmoon · April 28, 2007, 01:31:32 PM

Seriously, I'm twisted, but it's not twisted to sticky a thread like this. That's just asking for trouble.

Jim Halisstrad · April 28, 2007, 02:41:11 PM

That gives me a great idea! The world needs more Death and Alec slash fics.
*Nods*

However, since I do my research, I need to find or buy a French Maid outfit, a paddle, a taser, 50 gallons of sour cream, and one pair of Dan Marino's panties. It's easier to write down personal experiences and just change the wording a little.
I think I'll start writing it by the end of today.

llearch n'n'daCorna · April 28, 2007, 02:55:47 PM

bweeeheeheehee.

Just got to listen to part 3. The disgust in Icarus' voice when she says "Furries." midway through it all had me rolling about on the floor laughing. :-]

(as did the idea of Death/Alec slash fic...)

Darkmoon · April 28, 2007, 03:11:04 PM

Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on April 28, 2007, 02:55:47 PM
bweeeheeheehee.

Just got to listen to part 3. The disgust in Icarus' voice when she says "Furries." midway through it all had me rolling about on the floor laughing. :-]

(as did the idea of Death/Alec slash fic...)

I'd be up for an Alec/Death slash fic.

llearch n'n'daCorna · April 28, 2007, 03:18:20 PM

Alec/Death, or Death/Alec?

There -is- a small difference... :-]

Amber Williams · April 28, 2007, 03:22:18 PM

Dude...Alec couldnt top a paper-bag. Even his hand would show him who wears the pants.

Jigsaw Forte · April 28, 2007, 04:58:25 PM

Quote from: Amber Williams on April 28, 2007, 03:22:18 PM
Dude...Alec couldnt top a paper-bag. Even his hand would show him who wears the pants.

That reminds me...

[Sooo NSFW]

llearch n'n'daCorna · April 28, 2007, 05:51:17 PM

Quote from: Amber Williams on April 28, 2007, 03:22:18 PM
Dude...Alec couldnt top a paper-bag. Even his hand would show him who wears the pants.

Yes. Hence the mad credz available to anyone who could write a in-character, believable, and yet graphic slash story out of it. :-]

Zedd · April 28, 2007, 06:28:03 PM

Is it reap be tiems now?

Darkmoon · April 28, 2007, 07:29:18 PM

I'll say this much. If someone does write it, and it's not complete rubbish, I'll put it up on CVRPG.

That's a promise.

Zedd · April 28, 2007, 07:31:31 PM

Thanks Dmoon...Will be sure make them work on a good not a bad lemon then...Honestly I give Ic two yams and a half

Darkmoon · April 28, 2007, 09:05:48 PM

Quote from: Zedd on April 28, 2007, 07:31:31 PM
Thanks Dmoon...Will be sure make them work on a good not a bad lemon then...Honestly I give Ic two yams and a half

And I'm not saying it has to be good. Just not complete rubbish.

Some of the best porn is halfway awful, yet still decently written porn. The halfway awful makes it more fun.

Damaris · April 29, 2007, 12:16:13 AM

Grammar and punctuation. Make an attempt at grammar and punctuation a requirement.

Darkmoon · April 29, 2007, 12:17:14 AM

And have a random appearance by Richter or Cornell. That will give it an air of authenticity.

icarus · April 29, 2007, 04:51:23 AM

how about the captain N version of simon belmont?

llearch n'n'daCorna · April 29, 2007, 05:35:58 AM

Quote from: Darkmoon on April 29, 2007, 12:17:14 AM
And have a random appearance by Richter or Cornell. That will give it an air of authenticity.

Quote from: icarus on April 29, 2007, 04:51:23 AM
how about the captain N version of simon belmont?

... porno in sprite form?

a horrible DMFA pornfic...and a vocal reading thereof!(NSFW)

King Of Hearts

Jim Halisstrad