Twist, twist, twist...

[Gabi]

...I feel like a pancake.

I never thought I'd post a topic like this, but I'm in a strange mood right now. Not angsty, that's a feeling I don't want in my life. But more like 'what the Hell?!', and considering I don't even believe in Hell I'd say I'm quite confused. I spent the last 13 years of my life planning ahead, I thought I'd become quite good at it, and now I'm faced with the fact that today looks completely different than what I envisioned it to be by this time yesterday.

At this time yesterday I was thinking of looking for a different subject to teach or maybe even stopping teaching for a while and doing something else, because they were making changes I wasn't comfortable with in the subject I'm teaching and no one seemed to be taking me into account. In any case, I was going to take it easy for this semester, which to me is almost like a break. I was also thinking of how my new puppy Luna would grow up and making plans for her, while still mourning my dog Colita who had lived with me for 14 years and meant a lot to me.

Then yesterday afternoon I received a phone call notifying me that I'm head teacher again with everything that means (someone took a leave and I was next in line for the job) and my mum has just told me that Luna died in an accident during the night. And my brother is shattered because he was involved and he wasn't feeling well to begin with (personal issues).

So what am I supposed to do now? I know I'll eventually figure it out, I always do. But right now... I can't even predict what tomorrow's going to be like, and that's a feeling I'm completely unused to. It could have been worse, I know. Maybe life is trying to teach me to be more flexible or something. But like I said... What the Hell?

Comments and suggestions are welcome. As usual, fights are not.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

*blink* *blink*

Damn. I thought -I- had problems. :-/

*hugs*

[Damaris]

You poor thing.   I'm so sorry about your puppy.

As far as the job... I'm the type of person who will burn themselves out to get out of debt/go on a trip/be able to buy a bed/create a savings account.  Personally, I would take the head teacher's job and ride it out for another year, just to get a bit of padding for when I decide to take it easier.

But, if you're unhappy, doing something you don't want to do is just going to make it worse.  We don't want a depressed Gabi.  You're too sweet to be depressed.

[Tapewolf]

Sounds like someone needs a random hug.

Now I'm not entirely sure what your take on the headteacher role is, whether you consider it to be more of a blessing or a curse, but I do hope it works out for you.  And it's definitely a shame about Luna.

[Gabi]

Aw, thanks, Damaris. And you too, llearch and JP.

I took the job. I'll figure out how to deal with it as I go along, and put off any new activities and possibly most of my offline social life for another year. At least they'll have to take me into account now. Now I need to sort out my feelings, and find a way to help my brother, which is likely to be the hardest task of all. I've always been the strong one in my family, I guess I've been blessed with a strong spirit; I suffer, but don't get depressed and never lose hope. But sometimes I don't know how to lighten the load the rest of them, especially him.

[Paladin Sheppard]

Awww hell sorry to hear that Gabi hope everthing turns out better for you...*hugs*

[Suwako]

Poor Gabi, I'm sorry to hear what has happened to you, I....

may things become easier on you soon.

[ITOS]

Take time and think of where you are is a good thing. Figuring out where you are going is harder when you don't know where you are right now. I hope things will work out and that you don't have to get too stressed by your work.

Your a good person and it's sad when bad things happen to good persons.

[Zedd]

Awwwrr sorry Gabs...I know your pain *huggles you tightly wrapping my wings around her*

[xHaZxMaTx]

*Takes the last 4 random hugs that weren't given out and combines them into one giant super-hug for Gabi.*

Don't know what else to say except that I hope things get better.

[Gabi]

Thank you. Thanks, everyone.

[Damaris]

I think the thing that will help your brother quite a bit is to know that you forgive him for the accident.

*hugs*

[TheGreyRonin]

Aw, geez, Gabi, I'm sorry. *hugs* Here's to hoping things change for the better, and soon.

[Aisha deCabre]

*Sends a hug as well*    Things like that can make life hard to predict indeed.  Things coming out of nowhere.  But here's hoping that things will get better for you. ^^

[Gabi]

Thanks and hugs for all of you. It's great to know you care. I'm still sad, we all are. My brother has gone poker-faced and it will be hard to get him to open up again, but he knows nobody blames him. It could have happened to anyone. My mum and I have been crying a lot, which is quite unusual in her case but I'm glad she's managed to let it out. I trust things will get better with time. We'll try to get a new puppy soon. It will not replace Luna, nor Colita, nor Carola for that matter (Colita's grandmother, who died 6 years ago at 18 years of age), but it will bring joy to our home and I know we'll grow to love it.

As for my job at university, I have to restore the subject's CVS which was hosted on a computer that crashed badly (the hard disk died). Luckily I had the most recent version of all files. I'll take care of that now and deal with all the other tasks as they come. At least I'm not alone in this. Algorithms and Data Structures 2 is so big a subject that it takes 2 professors, 2 head teachers a.k.a. heads of practical works (me and Charlie this time), and around 15 assistant teachers to run it. And Charlie's very experienced and good for oratory and leadership tasks, if not for organization and scheduling which, on the other hand, is something I'm normally good at (except this one time, of course).

[Eibborn]

Oh dear, Gabi. There's not much I can do, beyond let you know that you have my thoughts and my prayers, if they will help. Such an unfortunate rash of bad things to happen to such a nice person- it's tragic. I hope things get better for you.

[Tiny crested flint]

Here's praying for you and for things to get better.

[Illusionist]

*Hugs Gabi*

[Gabi]

Thanks... I'm still very busy, but things are better for me now. And I have a new lovely puppy named Leika whose pictures you can see here.

[Illusionist]

What is she, a Sausage Dog?

[Gabi]

Yes, she is.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Cute one, too. :-]

[LionHeart]

She's a cutie, all right. Though the cat doesn't seem too sure about her...