The ban game, v11

[Jairus]

Ren is banned because Morgan Freeman isn't talking.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jay is banned because I don't care if he is not talking. I can't hear him anyway.

[Cogidubnus]

Ren is banned. I'm not entirely sure why, and I'm too tired to investigate. But he's definitely banned.

[Mao]

Cogi is banned due to failing at due process.

[Cogidubnus]

Mowser is banned and I have suspended habeas corpus - specifically, over a pit of ravenous sea bass. 

[VSMIT]

Cog is banned for stealing the Queen from her bed.

[Ren Gaulen]

VSMIT is banned for being such a poor guard that Cog could steal the Queen during his watch.

[Mao]

Ren is banned because God Saved the Queen.  We mean it man.

[Ren Gaulen]

Mowser is banned because he didn't specify which God did it.

[Mao]

Ren is banned because the blame there rests on 'The Sex Pistols'.

[Jairus]

Mowser is banned because A) I don't think I've ever listened to a Sex Pistols song, and B) that's one of the weirdest names for a band I've ever heard of.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jay is banned because "Sex Pistols" are a rather old group. I haven't really heard much of their music myself, but I always knew about their existence (they were very popular in Russia during my childhood). And their name stops looking all that weird once you listen to their songs. Also, have some Epic Mecha. It's really Epic.

[Cogidubnus]

Jairus is banned because there is a fire in the disco.

Ren is banned because there's a fire at the Gates of Hell.

[Jairus]

Ren is banned because we need a new awesome meter, since you just broke the old one.

Cogi is banned, for I am the warrior who fears not the Gates of Hell...

... for I know where the Backdoor of Hell is an can escape at will.

[Ren Gaulen]

Cog is banned because I have just extinguished it.
Jay is banned because they have changed the lock since his last visit.

[Jairus]

Ren is banned for I have brought along my patented Boomstick-series door-opener.

[Cogidubnus]

Jairus is banned, because that boomstick is clearly not big enough.

Paraphrase: That's not a knoife. This is a knoife! *produces claymore*

[Jairus]

Cogi is banned: is this boomstick sufficient?

[Ren Gaulen]

Jay is banned because his Dakka-Matik can be easily defeated by the power of the True Compassion.

[Jairus]

Ren is banned by the two new haiku in my thread that I think he might like.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jay is banned because his new haikus call for the "Winds of the King" recital.

[Jairus]

Answer me, Gaulen:
School of the Undefeated
Of the East, the Wings
Of the King! Zenshin!
Keiretsu! Tempa Kyouran!
Look! The East burns Red!

This is probably violating every single rule of haiku composition, but I think I like this "5-7-5-5-7-5" arrangement. It doesn't look too bad either.

Oh, and you're banned, Ren

[Cogidubnus]

Jairus is banned, because that is not a Haiku by any stretch. It could be something else, though. A short lyric, perhaps.

[Jairus]

Cogi is banned for being right. It's not a haiku at all. "Lyric..." I don't know if that quite describes it.

[Ren Gaulen]

You have violated the rules of haiku composition, Jairus. A bannination team is deployed to your location. You're gonna get banned.

[Jairus]

Ren-sama is banned because the Immortal Empress dislikes normal haiku, and feels that my violation of the rules of haiku is worthy of forgiveness.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jay is banned because the Game Masters, unlike the Empress, still disapprove.

[Jairus]

Ren-sama is banned because I protect myself with the Shining Finger.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jai-chan is banned because that's not Shining Finger, that's Burning Hand. THIS is Shining Fingar! (sadly, the actual finger cannot be seen, but it clearly is shining)

[Jairus]

Ren-sama is banned because now I get what he meant in his thread about the "literal Burning Finger." Didn't you already do that pose of yourself?