Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Darkdragon]

Granted. Now you can't predict anything.

I wish the next corrupter will be unpredictable.

[Angel]

Granted. You have a grand mal seizure, sprout a bunch of pipe-cleaner spider legs from your ribcage, breakdance on the floor screaming "I am Platypus-man, Patron Saint of Serial Killers" for about three hours and spend the rest of your life in a padded cell, utterly convinced that you are, in fact, the offspring of that one zoo panda and have to get back to your 'mother' before you die in these unsuitable conditions.

I wish I had a sliiiightly less sadistic sense of humor.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You don't exist any more.

I wish for The Event to come to a pass.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You need a pass to see it, though.


I wish I'd had more sleep last night.

[Jer-oh-me]

Granted, unfortunately its the last amount of sleep you will ever get in your life ever, however this is not necessarily a bad thing as you merely restart from the point at which you woke up this morning and will continuously go through this day and the ones that follow as long as you manage to stay awake, though when you fall asleep you add to your total rest gained so this 'Groundhog day' feature may balance itself out eventually, but don't be looking forward to that happening in your personal time any time soon.

I wish that I was funny only when I want to be funny and not when I don't want to be funny at all, which is currently the case.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. However, you will think you were funnier when you didn't want be funny despite everyone else not thinking said act to be funny.

I wish for a pot of blue ink, whose intended purpose is to fill fountain pens, namely mine.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. It's dried out.


I wish I had a job that made me happy.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You're now unemployed, free to do whatever you want.

I wish to avoid recursive language in the future.

[Rakala]

Granted. Your voice box phases through your body and falls right on the floor in front of you, severing itself and running away.

I wish I had a soul.

[VSMIT]

Granted, Satan walks up and buys it off of you for a donut.

I wish I was a moderator...

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You happen to be a moderator of a debate about the finer details of astrophysics, and unfortunately don't understand any of the arguments.

I wish to meet at least one of the gods from Ōkami when they are not in a wrathful mood.

[Rakala]

Granted. They tell you the secrets of the universe. You can't comprehend it and your head explodes.

I wish I could get to level 80 in Adventure Quest.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. However, they have changed it that 80 is a low since the ceiling is now 1000.

I wish.

[Rakala]

Granted............. or is it?

I wish it was the weekend already.

[Darkdragon]

Well, it is. In Australia at least.

I wish I could have anything if I want it.

[Rakala]

Granted. Then one day when you're frustrated you accidently wish you were dead and... well....

I wish I went to heaven for eternity! HA! The incorruptable!

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You get the Buddhist nirvana, where nothing ever happens and you have nothing to do.

Pity you didn't get the Islamic one. Apparently they use vestigial virgins, and they're very enthusiastic about their job. Oh, well. Maybe next eternity...


I wish I wasn't quite so evil...

[Rakala]

Granted. You have to come out of your box.

I wish it were 2012.

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. Congrats, it's the apocalypse.

I wish mean people wouldn't call me all day.

[LionHeart]

Granted. They call you all night.

I wish I had a really original wish to wish for.

[Rakala]

Granted. It's easily corrupted.

I wish the next person's corruption would have nothing to do with this post.

[Jairus]

LionHeart is banned for wishing for an original wish.

I wish that the guys who made Epic Movie never make a movie again.

[Stygian]

Congratulations. They start writing alternative polka music instead, which somehow manages to become popular with the pretentious post-modernist crowd. You have to stand hearing it on the radio and at work and repeated over and over again until it becomes like a newer version of the Rickroll.

I wish that I didn't have such a fucking time with cleaning and fixing up my garden.

[Rakala]

Granted. Your garden catches on fire.

I wish I had some money.

[Jairus]

Granted. Here's a penny.

I wish for a large pepperoni pizza.

[Mao]

Granted.  The pepperoni is not only cursed but was in fact expired.

I wish that I could be reincarnated as the favorite spandex leotard of a very slim and attractive ballerina, aged somewhere between 21 and 26.

[Jairus]

Granted. You remain her favorite and are worn every single day until she dies at age 103.

I wish there were no tribbles at all.

[Rakala]

Granted. That episode of Star Trek never aired, it's ratings went downhill and suddenly hundreds of jokes and references today are lost. Eventually it leads into the decline of man, riots, rape, murder, anarchy. Congratulations, you single handedly destroyed civilization.

I wish the tribbles were back.

[Jairus]

Granted. They're everywhere. And I mean everywhere. In your tea, in your food storage cabinets, all over the space station, in your chair, in the engines, wearing your underwear... and you have no way to ever get rid of them.

I wish that Jar-Jar had been toned down just a little.

[Rakala]

Granted. You have to live with him, and even though he's toned down he's still REALLY annoying.

I wish I had the Insanoflex and that it wouldn't keep going for forever, just until I'm done.