The ban game, v05

[Angel]

I help Mowser, and then ban him because his avatar is so cute it just gave me my first cavity.

[Mao]

Black_angel is banned for thinking that my avatar is cute.

[Valynth]

Mowser is banned for not having a manlier avatar.

[Jairus]

Valynth is banned for currently not having an avatar at all.

[Cogidubnus]

Jairus is banned for having an avatar that is much too cute.

[Jairus]

Cogidubnus is banned for having an avatar that - if it were a real being - would make me want to back up against the wall.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jairus is banned for finding Cog's avatar threatening - it is obvious that he is well-meaning. What are you afraid of, Jay-Jay?

[Jairus]

Ren-len is banned because he does not realize that just because someone is well-meaning does not mean that they are not creepy. And don't call me Jay-Jay.

[Valynth]

Jairus is banned because having a blank, barren, and lifeless space where an avatar should be is totally metal.

[Ren Gaulen]

Valynth is banned because having metal where an avatar should be is totally metal.

[Jairus]

Ren-len is banned for confusing me by somehow creating a zen mantra out of Metal.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jairus is banned by being confused instead of being enlightened. And don't call me Ren-len, or I won't stop calling you Jay-Jay.

[Jairus]

Gau-ren is banned for thinking that enlightenment comes easily. It takes much time for someone to properly digest and understand the koan, thus making it a part of themselves and taking one step closer towards peace and tranquility.

[Ren Gaulen]

The first step on the road to wisdom is acceptance that wisdom does not come easily. And you have made this step, Jairus. However, you have also tripped a wire and set off a bear trap. Now a large and angry bear falls from the ceiling and bans you. Thoroughly.

And don't call me Gau-ren either - people mistook my for Gourry Gabriev because of that in the past.

[Jairus]

Gaulen is banned for setting up a bear trap when a tiger is a much better animal for use in such a trap. Although the tiger does not relish the peach, it will not only each the raspberry-laden foe, but also the raspberries! (Monty Python reference, I couldn't resist)

And I can see why it would be bad to be mistaken for Gourry Gabriev: he isn't exactly Master Asia.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jairus is banned.. err.. Oh, I know! He is banned for referencing Monty Python!

[Jairus]

Ren Gaulen is banned for not at the very least saying "Ni!"

[Cogidubnus]

Jairus is banned with this kaon.

There once was a teacher who had a student that was playing a game boy in class. The teacher approached the student, and asked him what he was doing.
"I am attempting to master the game, teacher." the student said. The teacher considered this, and responded,
"There exists a state in which neither you shall attempt to master the game, nor the game attempt to gain mastery over you."
The student responded, surprised, "What is this state?"
The teacher took his game and broke it upon the floor.
The student was enlightened.

[Jairus]

Cogidubnus is banned with this little gem that I found several years ago. It helped me come to grips with my spirituality, and also kind of explains my approach to religion in general...

Master Hui-hai was asked, "Are Taoism, Confucianism, and Buddhism three different doctrines or the same?"
He replied, "To those with great understanding they are the same. To those of average understanding they are different. They all come from one Truth, but an analytical approach makes them seem three. However, whether someone achieves enlightenment or remains deluded depends on the seeker, not on differences in doctrine."

[Mao]

Translation:  Jairus just got banned.

[Cogidubnus]

Mowser is banned with yet another koan, then-

Wen the Eternally Surprised was asked by his student, "Master, what is the difference between a school of thought that uses illogical answers in order to disrupt and discourage analytical thought, or a school that simply spouts nonsense phrases?"
Wen the Eternally Surprised thought, and answered "A fish!"
The student went away satisfied.

[Jairus]

Cogidubnus is banned for using a Take That! from Discworld, and in punishment I present this...

A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor's cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. "It's overfull! No more will go in!" the professor blurted.
"You are like this cup," the master replied, "How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Jairus, in turn, is banned with this koan:

A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on.

Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: "You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong."

Knight turned the machine off and on.

The machine worked.

[Jairus]

Upon meeting a Zen master at a social event, a psychiatrist decided to ask him a question that had been on his mind. "Exactly how do you help people?" he inquired.
"I get them where they can't ask any more questions," the Master answered.

That is why you are banned, llearch.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jairus is banned because now I am leaving for a monastery to increase my Wisdom. And Strength, and any other stats I can.

[Jairus]

Ren Gaulen is banned for inspiring me to focus on amplifying my Charisma rating. Helllooo ladies...

[Mao]

Jairus is banned for being a protagonist in a dating sim.

[Jairus]

Mowser is banned for thinking that this is a bad thing.

[Ren Gaulen]

Jairus is banned because I have found the Charisma incarnate.

[Mao]

Ren is banned for making me think of 'Bob' of the Church of SubGenius.