[Story] Oh look, I wrote up a scene. [NSFW]

Started by Goatmon, October 18, 2007, 11:11:14 AM

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Goatmon

Heh, I scribbled this out over a few hours, though god only knows how I was able to get all of this out in such a short time; You people can't imagine how rare it is that I can go from idea, to a full concept, to actual writing, in a matter of minutes.

For those of you who haven't read my previous work here In the Author's Corner at the Jack Forum, I've been writing (for over a year now) the story for a webcomic. It's gonna be a pretty serious piece; a sort of detective story with a good mix of sci-fi and fantasy elements, as well as the occult and even an appearance from the Fuzzy Green Grim Reaper himself; Jack.

I got the idea to do this scene from the recent "Trading Post" thread, located in the Fanart Board (Also at the Jack Forum). I just randomly decided to do a scene, involving some of my comic characters, that would include Arty (And just a touch of Vinci). Like all good ideas, I very quickly came up with a way to tie it into one of the chapter ideas I've been going over, and I've decided that (With Tet's permission) I'm going to include this scene in the comic itself.

Mind you that whenever I do any kind of character borrowing, I kind of have to go my own way with things, and generally add something to make it more "At home" with my work. In the case of Tet, he has a supernatural gift that gets put to use. I won't give away what it is, you'll have to read it to see for yourself.

(Please note that the scene is subject to change.)

With that out of the way, here's the scene. Enjoy!
------------------------------------------------



September 16th, 2014

6:12 AM.

Joseph and Kevin strolled down the sidewalk, As the sun was still low on the horizon. The cool morning wind blew past them, causing Kevin's coat to and flap around, while Joseph's buttoned-up jacket remained still, save for his collar which fluttered under the breeze.

Held in Joseph's right hand was a thin rope attached to a bag that hung over his shoulder. The parcel inside it had stretched the bag into a tube shape, half the length of his body and a few inches around. The weight didn't seem to bother him, any. Joseph wasn't the only one carrying something. Kevin had a slightly lighter burden; a plastic bag labeled "Krispy Kreme" which contained several boxes.

The bag crinkled and rustled as it swayed back and forth in time with Kevin's steps, and it was slowly driving Kevin mad; The throbbing in his head was pain enough, now it seemed he was extra sensitive to the crinkling of plastic this morning, as he and his partner crossed to the front door to a tall apartment complex.

Stepping inside, they passed down a long hallway, an elevator was visible at the far end. As they walked, Kevin noticed a torn poster that was withered and stained. It was hard to make out, but it looked like there was a picture of a tank. The writing on it was barely legible by now, but he thought he saw "The Square" or something similar printed on it. It was too damaged to know for sure.

They stepped inside the elevator, and Joseph hit the button. As the doors shut, Kevin reached up and rubbed his left temple with his free hand.
"Did you really need me to come along for this?"

Joseph raised an eyebrow at him, and his right ear flopped as he tilted his head to the right as he stared up at his tall comrade.
"What, you don't like delivering donuts, first thing in the morning? You better not be hungover."

Kevin rolled his eyes.
"A little, yeah. I've had worse.."

Joseph glared at him, then shrugged and shook his head.
"Whatever."

Kevin wiped his eyes, mindlessly, as they stepped off of the elevator.
"Anyway... remind me why we're here?"

Joseph led the way down the hall, passing several apartments before stopping at a door.
"The guy we're visiting is a psychic."

Kevin followed, and yawned.
"Is that why you brought the jar?"

Joseph nodded, and rang the doorbell.
"Bingo."

After waiting a few moments, no one came to the door. He rang the bell again, still nothing. Before Joseph could ring it a third time, a loud click came from the door's locks, and it slowly creaked open. A very grumpy-looking blond cheetah stared at them through the doorway, wearing a snugly fitting white bathrobe.
"Can I help you?"

Joseph smiled.
"Morning, Art. It's Joseph."

There was no response, and Joseph spoke again.
"From work? I told you I'd be coming by today, remember?"

There was a pause, and "Art" groaned.
"Oh....right. Damn, you picked a great hour to visit. Do you think you can come back later?"

Joseph nudged Kevin lightly with his elbow. Kevin blinked, but reacted quickly, and held up the bag, muttering.
"We brought donuts."

Arty glanced over to Kevin, and saw the bag. His ears fell back and and he groaned again.
"God dammit....all right, come on in."

As they stepped inside, Joseph offered the bag to Arty, who took it, and set it down on the living room table. Joseph and Kevin both found a seat on the couch near the table, and Joseph set his bag down near his feet on the floor. Arty took one of the boxes and lifted it open, and quickly began devouring a fresh glazed before he plopped down on the love seat opposite of the couch.

Across the room, a timid voice came.
"Arty, is everything all right?"

Peeking out from the hallway, a pink-haired raccoon was cautiously peeking into the living room. Arty stood up momentarily, and glanced across the room.
"It's fine, sweetie, it's just some guys from work. You just go back to bed, okay?"

The raccoon stared for a moment before disappearing back into the hallway. Arty sat back down, and bit into another glazed, practically swallowing it whole. He leaned back into the couch and yawned.

Joseph set down his bag on the floor by his feet.
"Sorry if we woke you. I did warn you I'd be coming by today.'

Arty narrowed his eyes, glaring at Joseph.
"You didn't say you'd be coming by at 6 in the morning."

His expression softened, and he rubbed his paws together, wiping off a bit of the grease from the donuts. He examined his paw while he continued the conversation. "For your information, I wasn't sleeping; Me and Vinci were having "Cuddle-time".

Joseph grinned.
"You'll have to tell us about that sometime."

"You really don't."
Kevin added, with a grumble. His eyes shifted towards his partner with a glare that could peel paint.

Arty shrugged.
"So, what did you bring me this time?"

Joseph stood up, and lifted his bag off of the floor. He moved the boxes of donuts aside, clearing a bit of room. He pulled open the bag and tilted it forward just a little so that he could slide out a long skinny urn , made from a single piece of beautiful Ivory. From the design, it looked like it was meant to hold a bouquet of flowers.

It looked extremely old and, even with his gloves on, Joseph could tell just from the touch that it's surface was perfectly smooth, barely a scratch on it. The gold paint along it's gilded edges was faded and thinned out over time. It's beauty was off-set by an unpleasant brown smear; the remnants of someone's blood splattered across the urn.


He set it down very carefully on the table, checking to make sure it wasn't wobbling before he moved back. Art leaned forward to get a closer look, eying the Urn very carefully

"This.." Joseph explained, "was found at the home of a young lady named Molly Pinston. It was used to beat her over the head until the poor girl's skull caved in. We have reason to believe she's the 11th victim, that we know of, of a serial killer. All of the victims have been young girls, in their 20s and early 30s, as well as two high-school kids."

Arty cringed, and felt the need to distance himself from this...thing. He suddenly wasn't so keen on touching it, but he knew that wasn't an option. He stared down at it for another moment before he glanced up at Joseph.
"Has anyone else touched it since the murder?"

Joseph shook his head.
"Not directly, as far as we know. The police arrived only about an hour later, and it hasn't touched a human hand since."

Arty sighed, and reached out to stroke the surface of the bloody jar.
"Good..."

He ran his fingers up and down the surface. His claws scratched away bits of the dried blood. The thought of it revolted him, but he didn't take his hand off of it. tenderly, he reached out, picking it up in both hands. He felt the smooth cold ivory underneath his fingers, and suddenly an image flashed into his head; a tall chameleon, blazing red with a fire-like glint in his eyes. He was looming over a young doe, she barely looked 20. She was curled up, crying, trying to shield herself as he brought his weapon (the urn) down over her head. He could feel the rush, the thrill of it.

"Delicious little slut." came a thought that didn't belong in Arty's head, as he saw the kiler through his own eyes, staring down at the victim, who's life had just left her eyes.

"God, this is making me so fucking hard!"
Arty watched as the girl was stripped, and violated, as her head wound leaked blood that pooled around the carpet of her apartment floor.

By the time he let go of the urn, he'd bitten down so hard on his own lip that he was bleeding. His hands were shaky, and the urn toppled forwards, off of the table. Kevin leaned forward, and almost fell off of the couch as he reached out and grabbed it.

"Careful" Kevin uttered, as he set the Urn back on the table, "Are you all right?"

Arty was wiping his mouth with a paper towel. Moments ago he looked grumpy and irritable. Now he was trembling like a crying child. He crumpled the paper towel and threw it into the trash as he walked out into the hall.
"I'll grab my sketchpad."

Moments later he returned with a handful of pencils, an eraser, a big sketchpad, and a pot of coffee. Joseph and Kevin sat and waited patiently, or at least Joseph did, as Arty got to work. Kevin fidgeted with his hands, flicking his lighter on and off for a bit while he waited or Arty to finish. Finally, after doodling for a full hour, Arty brushed off some excess pencil led and eraser rubber, and then passed the sketchpad the Joseph, across the table. Joseph took it, and he and Kevin took a good look at the drawing.

The drawing was a detailed sketch of a tall chameleon, colored fiery red and orange all over, with a jagged black tattoo all over him, like some sort of nasty scar that spanned his entire body. He had bright yellow eyes, and a huge wicked grin. The coat he was wearing was brown, with darker brown stains here and there. Arty's drawing was so detailed that Joseph recognized blood stains in the coat.

Joseph glanced up to Arty.
"You're sure this is our guy?"

Arty was in the middle of drinking a cup of coffee and took a moment to answer, with bitterness.
"Yes. That's him."

Joseph glanced back down at the picture.
"Well, now we've got your face, you son of a bitch.... " He thought to himself, with a small sense of satisfaction.

Arty sighed and set his cup down.
"If you guys don't need anything else....."

Joseph nodded and got up from the couch.
"Of course. Sorry for the trouble, and thanks for your help."

"Just leave ."
Arty blurted out, as he rubbed a palm over his face.

Joseph stared.
"Right.... "

He and Kevin both headed for the door, leaving Arty alone for the moment. Arty tried not to think about the horrible things he'd seen, and the thoughts that had run though his head. He could still feel the sensations....that rush of adrenaline. And, as much as it disgusted him, he couldn't help but enjoy how it had felt. He shuddered in disgust and got up, heading down the hall and returned to the bedroom.

----------------------------------------------------------- :zombiekun2

llearch n'n'daCorna

Thanks for all the images | Unofficial DMFA IRC server
"We found Scientology!" -- The Bad Idea Bears

Goatmon

Heh, this scene actually was the first part of it's chapter.  I had this particular side story in mind; I wanted one chapter of the comic to be centered around the pursuit of an extremely powerful serial killer, but most of the details were not figured out yet.  I honestly don't remember anymore exactly what thought it was that led to coming up with this scene.  I just figured out that perhaps Arty could be someone with the ability to "See" things by touching objects, an idea I originally got from Abe Sapien in the Hellboy movie.  I guess from there I thought perhaps the object he's given is related to the serial killer character, and the entire scene just sort of unfolded in my head from there, and I started writing.  The entire thing took maybe 3 or 4 hours from start to finish. 

It's awesome when my brain actually works at full speed and lets me get real work done, though such a thing happens so rarely.  :<

llearch n'n'daCorna

It's not an original idea, not even for Hellboy, but for all that you've done fairly well with it.
Thanks for all the images | Unofficial DMFA IRC server
"We found Scientology!" -- The Bad Idea Bears

Goatmon

I never said it was, that's just where I got it.  I very seldom get my inspiration from truly original sources.   :P

Tapewolf

Heh.  That reminds me of The Dead Zone.  It's been a while since I've read... whatever that strip was called... but wasn't Arty a sort of aquatic cheetah?

J.P. Morris, Chief Engineer DMFA Radio Project * IT-HE * D-T-E


Goatmon


Tapewolf

Quote from: Goatmon on October 18, 2007, 08:42:03 PM
Yep, it's called a Yumar; a made-up species, obviously. 
Yeah, it's just that you referred to him as a leopard, that's all...

J.P. Morris, Chief Engineer DMFA Radio Project * IT-HE * D-T-E


llearch n'n'daCorna

Quote from: Goatmon on October 18, 2007, 06:12:36 PM
I never said it was, that's just where I got it.  I very seldom get my inspiration from truly original sources.   :P

Heh. I mentioned it only in terms of "hey, I've seen it over here as well" type info. Just in case you hadn't seen that, and were interested.

No criticism (intentionally) implied. *grin*
Thanks for all the images | Unofficial DMFA IRC server
"We found Scientology!" -- The Bad Idea Bears

Goatmon

Quote from: Tapewolf on October 19, 2007, 04:15:52 AM
Quote from: Goatmon on October 18, 2007, 08:42:03 PM
Yep, it's called a Yumar; a made-up species, obviously. 
Yeah, it's just that you referred to him as a leopard, that's all...

Besides the different in his paws and tailtip, he's no different from an ordinary leopard.  I thought it best to describe him as such so as to not confuse readers. 

Oh wait, right, you were talking about me classifying him as the wrong category of species altogether, huh?  I misinterpreted that, and didn't realize the actual mistake that I made.  One moment, and I'll fix that.  >_>