Corrupt a Wish, Part Trois

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. People ostracise me anyway, so it has very little effect.


I wish I didn't have to deal with idiots at work.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you now responsible for writing "the idiots guide to dealing with people at work"  Now you are the idiot... because when you became a writer you accepted a 50% cut in pay, enjoy your new career you get plenty of bubble wrap.

I wish I owned a flashy new car.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted.

The police aren't too happy about you driving off in their squad car, though.



I wish I'd managed to catch the first ten minutes of Heroes this week. It's only been on three times...

[e_voyager]

granted but after that your tv reception breaks down causing you to miss the rest of it.

i wish that i had a place where i could let all of my creations roam free.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but your bathroom will never be the same.

I wish the seasons would skip summer and winter every year.

[Caswin]

I wish the seasons would skip summer and winter every year.

And people - some of them, anyway - get some fun out of a total lack of extremes, for a little while... but it turns out they were actually necessary for something.  Ecosystem fall down go boom.  Heck, you might've fudged the world's climate enough to make The Day After Tomorrow an actual possibility... way to go.

I wish I required less sleep.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I wish I required less sleep.

Granted. That doesn't mean you actually -get- any less, or, indeed, any more. Or even enough. It just means you require less.

Less than what is the rub. You've discovered you require less sleep than your average black bear. Of course, the same can be said of the entire rest of the human race, so it's no real surprise.


I wish I didn't have to clean up after other idiots.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, now you have to clean up after educated people, and boy can they make one heckuva mess.

I wish that someone would start a trend among celebreties where all Hollywood celebreties would physically assault every paparazzi they see with large blunt objects.

[lucas marcone]

granted but all the paperazzi are clogging up emergency rooms. too bad that you were bitten by a snake. now as poison seeps into your veins a paperazzi is pampered and nured to health from a fractured tibia.





i wish that i had the powers of point of view man. were if i see something as tiny i can pick it up or squash it and such.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you now have a wacom pen...you owe me $300 dollars cash for the software,$1,000 for the tablet, and $15,000 dollars for tech fee, and $3 dollars for the two year warranty...thank you for shopping with us on Corrupt a wish forums... for all orders over $500 dollars you earn bonus points, which can be used on rewards like (insert cheap P.O.S) and a magical turd wrapped in a bow.

I wish for a mild winter.

[e_voyager]

grant you now get to spend a mild winter on the planet Mercury. remember your sun tan lotion. SPF 5000K should suffice if you can breath the air.

i wish that i were out traveling  right now

[lucas marcone]

granted you are hitch hikeing and are mistaken for a hobo....a nice guy gives you a ride you fall asleep and wake up in a tub of ice. hope you wernt useing that kidney.....or lung.



i wish for more wishes to corrupt

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, everyone is now required to ask for thee wishes of Lucas Marcone until they get repetitive and stupid.


I wish I was a better writer.

I wish pokemon was real.

I wish that I knew what it was like to fly.

[lucas marcone]

granted granted and granted......now all the wishes are currupted in a generic way.



i wish for fewer wishes to corrupt

[Caswin]

i wish for fewer wishes to corrupt

Granted, but only because nobody likes it when their wish is "corrupted in a generic way".  You become highly unpopular in the wishing community, which manifests itself in outright vicious corruptions of your own wishes when you still dare to show your face.  Your existence is not a happy one, and all attempts to circumvent it are interpreted as wishes - which are dwindling, as per your own wish, remember - which are, of course, corrupted immediately.  Have a nice day.

I wish for the Autobot Matrix of Leadership.

[DarkAudit]

Granted, but since you're not an autobot, you can't use it.

I wish Sprint would finally offer broadband cell phone service in my area.

[lucas marcone]

granted. however it's super expenseive, gives your PC loads of viruses, and they charge you for imagineary services.



i wish for ZOMBIE OUTBREAK APOCALYPSE!

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted...unfortunately you  ordered it through the Electronics boutique at the Mall of America from a woman named Barbera...in the heart of Raccoon City. The order finally came in 28 days later, however You can expect some delays on the roadway...something to do with the umbrella corporation. Also you might want to move your ass, as your roommate upstairs was bitten last night by a crazy person...at 'the rave to the grave, also I don't think you have time to take off your pyramid head costume, and you should take his car, a baseball bat, and a box of LP's with you. Oh, and by the way Good luck getting to the store.


I wish for a fantastic car. 

[lucas marcone]

granted too bad i comendeered it half a second after you got it so i could haull ass outta there. good luck with my room mate. oh lucky for you i left behind my cricket bat.

[Ryudo Lee]

lucas' non-existant wish is granted, but since he didn't make a wish, HE GETS NOTHING!

I wish that I could travel to any point in space and time and be able to correct for certain things like the position of other people/objects/landmasses/etc.

[lucas marcone]

granted. but like fry you fall deeply inlove with a woman and do the nasty with her. however that past nastifacation just made you your own great grandfather. the brightside is you are now immune to the delta brain wave and therefore are PERFECT to stop a race of floating brains who want to destroy the universe.



i wish i watched more futureama

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, you are able to watch every Futurama episode over and over until you have every single one of them memorized, which leads to you having pointless arguments about them over the internet with other Futurama nerds for the rest of your life.

I wish I could create my own universe.

[DarkAudit]

Granted, one universe. Population: you. Resources: none.

I wish I had a holodeck with the sum total of human creation stored in it's computer.

[lucas marcone]

granted. but like zap branigans holodeck the files containging the images periodicly turn evel and can leave the holodeck to wreak havoc upon the rest of your world....and unfortuneately this happens while you and your lover are in a romantic simulation.



i wish this knowledge of useless tv movie music and comic book facts didn't burden me so.

[e_voyager]

 granted. you start to forget it all  but you're drafted to a trivia show the next day and the fate of you home rest on you winning it.

i wish  that time travel didn't give me migraines.

[lucas marcone]

granted....but it does however give you "Man parts pains" these pains are your sperm dieing off.




i wish i could take a vacation to ireland....i hear they're so friendly there the'll invite strangers to dinner..and stay the night.

[Zedd]

Granted,But you find out you slept with Dr. McDoogins daughter and now he wants to tear living limbs off your body or force you marry her even shes fat as a sow.

I wish could find a better use for this useless camera I bought awhile ago

[Angel]

My brother wanted to corrupt this wish, so here goes.

Granted. Now it's a demon camera that eats your face the minute you click the shutter. But it does take good pictures!

I wish I was reasonably good at drawing my favorite anime characters. And that I obeyed copyright laws so I wouldn't get sued.

[lucas marcone]

granted but you draw them in all the wrong ways. the porn you draw is so taboo and disgusting the goverment orders all of it deleted off the web and you and any of your prints locked in a vault and sealed there for all of time.....but hay at leats you can draw....oh wait you ran out of paper!




i wish mcdoogle's daughter was queen of ireland.

[TheGreyRonin]

 Granted. Her first act upon accepting the throne is to declare all other countries an abomination, and she wages a campaign to destroy all human life outside of Ireland. The casualties mount high before nuclear weapons are called into play, reducing Ireland, and her, to a radioactive dust smear.

I wish I could see that, from a safe distance with no risk.