Today in Idiocy (now with a part 2)

[thegayhare]

Hello all

today was a fun day you know

this morning was trash day so I spent most of the mornign running bags and recyclables out.  then around 11 am I realised that I'd missed a realy full can,  I decided to run it out before I got ready for work.  So I opened the door and there was Amber.  That little witch (and I can say that after all the nasty stuff she does to me,  scaring the crap out of me crawling into my bed at night, Biting my toes, and otherwise being mean)  It had started snowing there was maybe 2 inches on the ground and she was whining cause she was cold.  So I said okay and let her in,  distracted as I was I closed the door forgetting it was locked.  so I was locked out of the house, it was still snowing and I was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt.   I looked in the window and I could See Amber sitting at the table watching me. 

So grumbling I got in my car to wait.  as my teeth started to chatter I realised sometihng.  Because of the foundation in the workshop it's got the small heaters to keep the floor from freezing and cracking even more.  So I ran over to the shop,  It was still cold inside but I arranged the heaters and sat between them n a ottoman and cranked them both up as high as I could (that still wasn't much)

so I sat there and waited, I could hear my grandmother in the apartment above me (the one who tried to kill me) and I wasn't about to ask her for help.  Oddly I could here her radio or Tv and for some reason she was listening to techno dance music.  So after five hours of this some one finaly gets home and lets me in,  so I can call work and tell them why I'm 2 hourrs late

so now I'm home from work with a big bowl of orange beef and rice and Amber can't have any no matter how much she begs

[superluser]

This story is fantastically phantasmagorical.  It may be the nightcap speaking, but the image of Amber-wait-that-must-be-his-pet biting your toes, a homicidal grandmother listening to techno, and getting up at 11, waiting five hours and only being two hours late for work all contribute to making this a great story.

You win the forum, TGH!

(P.S. I got up at 10AM to go to work at 1PM, so I guess I can't say anything)
(P.P.S. Firefox, phantasmagorical is a real word)

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Hope you're ok from that, Bunnyboy. I'd hate to think you got a cold out of being shut out...

[Brunhidden]

okay, the grandma attempting murder sounds freaky.

i sympathyse with you, ive locked myself out of cars pretty darned often, and almost always in the dead of winter miles from home without a cellphone. as a kid i was also locked out of my own home often when my siblings forgot to mention they would be gone and my brother had a bad habbit of leaving the key thats supposed to be hidden outside on the kitchen counter. its traumatizing for a ten year old to think you were locked out on purpose and everyones inside cause you KNOW theyre supposed to be there and thier cars are in the freaking garage....for several hours, in the cold, hungry, and finally giving up banging the door after three hours. im still wondering how my family was able to call me an idiot for that episode when THEY were the ones who neglected to leave a key to a small child who was locked out of an empty home.

sometimes i think my family achieved nearly record breaking levels of stupid, other times i excuse thier behavior from growing up in a swamp, and many is the time i admit that i myself am of such low inteligence its not even funny.  as it stands i still think that a man is not a man untill his father says to him "i just shot the neighbors cat, go bury it in the woods"

idiocy is contagious i tells ya, and face masks dont do squat to stop you from catching it.

While its true there is good eating on a tortoise, considering the work involved theres good eating on pretty much anything else

[/glow]

[Tapewolf]

This story is fantastically phantasmagorical.  It may be the nightcap speaking, but the image of Amber-wait-that-must-be-his-pet biting your toes, a homicidal grandmother listening to techno, and getting up at 11, waiting five hours and only being two hours late for work all contribute to making this a great story.

Indeed.  I don't know if I could make something like that up if I tried.
I think TGH's other posts about his psycho grandmother were on The Nice.. I think I'll go see in a bit...

[thegayhare]

(P.S. I got up at 10AM to go to work at 1PM, so I guess I can't say anything)

actualy I got up at 730 to get the trash out before the garbage men came

Hope you're ok from that, Bunnyboy. I'd hate to think you got a cold out of being shut out...

I'm fine hon,  no real problems
*hugs*
thanks though

I think TGH's other posts about his psycho grandmother were on The Nice.. I think I'll go see in a bit...

actualy it's up in shout out section



Bounces*
awww  It's no fun if you figure out Ambers my sisters cat

[Aridas]

Try not to get yourself injured. Locking yourself out of something can be bad sometimes ;>.>

[Alan Garou]

Try not to be too mean to Amber, bunny. She might smite you. And, yes, I feel your pain.

[thegayhare]

hello all

First off I'll admit I left out something from the first one,  but there is a reason for that... lets just say when your desperate for paper a road atles is not a good choice... not very soft pages.

Okay onto part two

I thought you folks might get a kick out of this

Well As I said yesterday it snowed so today I had to shovel.  I threw on my jacket steped out the door and grabbed the shovel.  Then closed the door... at this point I turned and screamed. 

No No No this can't happen

the door was locked so I turned and spotted a few people down by the school.  Maybe one of them has a cell they would let me use...

I reach the end of the drive way and put my hands in my pockets to keep them warm... at which point I find my car keys and my house keys...

so I'm dancing

[Zedd]

Fuck...THat bites to hell man.....

[xHaZxMaTx]

Tht's like when you're going around the house for an hour looking for you sunglasses that are already on your head.

[thegayhare]

just for fun here's an update

yesterday I got a phone call from the folks that adopted our dog

I had to get ahold of my sis but I don't have her work or Cell number...

so I called my mom to get the number...  She picked up the phone

Hello mom...

Oh god you didn't lock yourself out again did you?

[Roureem Egas]

Wasn't the locked-out thing a one-time only sort of thing? It's a bit of an odd reaction to me. =p

[thegayhare]

It happened once before and I told her about the almost getting locked out the second day.

I sister thought it was funny to leave signs up for me

"Remember Tim the door is locked"

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Steal her keys. Leave a sign outside saying "Remember, Sis, the door is locked."
... with her keys taped to the inside of the window.

*whistles innocently*