Corrupt a Wish, Part Deux

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but you only hold off that bleak future for a limited amount of time, and it will have to be saved again and again in that fashion for pretty much forever.  You DO have a longevity vacciene, don't you?

I wish to be able to display, once and for all, to the entire world, the true meaning of life, in a form that's globally acceptable.

[Zedd]

Granted,Its been displayed but not by you...I killed you with a brick and some twine onto your front door and the meaning of knowlage was dispalyed in my bird cage lining

I wish I had the ablity to change my gender and shape at will

[TheGreyRonin]

Granted, but it only works once, and unfortunately you're reading an article about the mating habits of aardvarks when it does.

I wish I had a magic snowplow that would clear my snow and make snow castles from them.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, but it only works once, and unfotunately you are trapped in a temporal loop when it does.


I wish I was the king of something.

[Valynth]

Granted, but it's neighbors of Somewhere and Anything wage war on it and eventually remove you from your position as king.

I wish lawyers could not lie.

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted, the entire American economy and government collapse because of your wish, and  because everyone takes the literal meaning of laws on the books, the state laws must be enforced litterally so that even the Dumb laws are followed.


I wish for a chocolate cake with coconut springles and strawberry frosting

[e_voyager]

Granted but before it is baked you are tossed  into it. enjoy as you will be first to know when the cake done and ready to be filled... you are fine and suffocation proof right?

i wish i could change the world without taking control of it or destroying it.

[Caswin]

i wish i could change the world without taking control of it or destroying it.

Granted.  Real shame you never specified how.  Enjoy life as a Mow... chitter-mrr.

I wish for a DVD set of the 70s Spider-Man show.

[Valynth]

Granted, but all the disks have one tiny scratch that keeps them from ever being played.

I wish I could travel across the dimensions without my body changing from its human form.

[e_voyager]

granted but you fist stop is a dimension in which humans can't survive . while you die the inhabitance of that demension learn much form dissecting your body and you are dubbed a hero.

i wish i had less gruesome ways to corrupt  wishes at the moment.

[Valynth]

Granted, however, you are thrown out of the thread soon afterwards with the threadkeep yelling "We only serve quality corruptions here!"

I wish I could battle zombies with an arsenal of extremely powerful weapons.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you are Jack before he became Jack the wraith demon, being housed in a secret military base has the added bonus of granting access to an arsenal of extremely powerful weapons... and as an added bonus you are now an extra in David Hopkins Rework the dead series.

I wish for the ability to kill Mikelo and make it look like an accident.

[Valynth]

Granted, unfortunately looks only go so far in court.

I wish I could dance without looking like a fool.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but the only dance you know how to do is zombie dance from Thriller.

I wish I could play the guitar really well.

[Valynth]

Granted, however it only works on the Guitar Hero controller-guitar.

I wish I had a Paris gun.(no, it isn't French, look it up)

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You can only shoot Paris Hilton with it.


So it's not a complete loss...


I wish I was more able to get things done of a workday...

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, you now have a 16 hour work day, and an 80 hour work week, sorry, no overtime for you. 

I wish I could no longer get sick.

[Kitsune Ascendant]

granted. as a side effect, diseases tend to accumulate in you since they never affect you and your immune system ignores them. five years down the road, you are killed and burned to prevent a second series of global pandemics involving screwball strains of already deadly diseases.

I wish that domesticated red foxes existed and I could get one.

[Valynth]

Granted, but your fox bites you and tests positive for rabies.

I wish that there were no extremists.

[Kitsune Ascendant]

okay. everyone's the same racist sexist overzelous religion-spouting fear monger type of person. since they are no longer the outliers, it's not extremist anymore. oh, and my fox bites you as revenge for giving him and me rabies.

I wish I had the secret to curing all the major diseases in humans.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but the secret is akin to Cthulhu and so you go completely and utterly insane.

I wish I would've taken the blue pill...

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Now you've taken both pills, and have joined the group of the Camel and the Bat.

Welcome to Sysadmining. You'll want to recover. You'll beg to recover. You may even reach enlightenment, and teach others to recover.


I wouldn't lay my bets, were I you.



I wish I'd been a little nicer to Ryudo, since he's a nice person

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but you're still on my smite list anyway so nya.   

I wish I were more charismatic.

[Kitsune Ascendant]

granted. you are now a bit TOO charismatic, and certain underground agencies are currently engaged in a secret war to gain your support, and each is determined to "get that ryudolee or make sure no one does". whoever wins, you loose.

I wish I could find the secret to enlightenment so I wasn't insane.

[Valynth]

Granted, however you sell all your worldly possesions to me for a nickel so that you might release yourself from the wants of the world and achieve Nirvanna.


I wish I didn't move so fast.

[e_voyager]

granted you now have the speed of a snail.

i wish i could run a mile in 3 minutes.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, however as the flash, the speed is the best you can manage after losing your powers.


I wish for a bazooka.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, you now have a piece of Bazooka Joe bubble gum.  Enjoy!

I wish I could relive my life knowing everything that I know now so that I can fix all my past mistakes.

[Valynth]

Granted, unfortunately you end up making even more mistakes.

I wish I could gain some muscle mass.

[vulpesweasel]

granted. you gain so much you cannot breath, and you asphyxiate. and no one cares enough to give you CPR. game ovah.

I wish I could ascend to Supreme Overlord