Corrupt a Wish, Part Deux

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted.  Sure you can get out of that balance rut, but then you end up falling into Kain's predicament and thus the world rots around you.  Thanks a lot.

I wish I had more obscure references to use in my wishes.

[e_voyager]

granted you now have access to my 90 gigabytes worth of anime and anime trivia.

ah able so predictable... wait what? i wish i knew what happen to me?

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, you died (again).

I wish I had a fast and easy way to sort through those 90 gigs of anime and anime trivia.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, You-tube is now using you as their digital server. Have fun as an outdated box of microchips and Diodes...your about to be replaced now that Google owns you.

I wish for a simpsons movie in 3d to come into theaters

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. Unfortunately, it's in really bad command-and-conquer rendering. The editing staff is sacked.

I wish that the timing belts on my car were immune to damage and/or slipping. Most specifically, the one on my alternator.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but now you're having fuel and brake line problems.

I wish I had a power supply that I could plug my computer into that never surges, never breaks down, and never runs out of power.

[e_voyager]

granted you not have a piece of a white hot dwarf star. it is only 2 inches in diameter  but it is so hot and radioactive that it's heat melts everything you try to contain  it with. but do worry it's fairly light as  it only weight in at 40 solar masses.

i wish it easier to awaken the power within my self in the real world that i suppress in the net world.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you are now a gerbil with nearly human like strength.


I wish for a robot to do all my chores, and that it would never Violate Azmov's  three laws nor turn against me in any way.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but it witnesses the love between two people.  It's unable to process the emotion, suffers an overload, and it's head explodes.  You can cover the repair bill, right?

I wish I could have a dark matter cannon.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. It's a 18th century black powder cannon, painted black.

With broken iron banding.



I wish I didn't have stupid users.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, now you have no users at all.

I wish I had a perfect firewall.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. It's not connected to anything, not even by sneaker-net.


I wish I had the enthusiasm to concentrate on what needed doing...

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but now you end up neglecting what you want to be doing.

I wish I could have omniscience.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. You forget why you wanted it.


I wish I was a little less enthusiastic about coming up with ideas to corrupt wishes...

[e_voyager]

granted you have now but shot by Marvin with the pov gun and no longer get enthusiastic about anything.

beware my wrath for i and E's hamster! wait that doesn't sound right... I was it was a back in the body PBH build for me.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but it's old and worn out by now.

I wish e_voyager had better typing skills.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, however you hnow have the typing skills of a gerbil.

I wish for a snickers bar.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but it's stale and hard as a rock.

I wish I could paint a million dollar masterpiece and actually sell it for a million dollars.

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, you spent a million dollars, on supplies to create your masterpiece including a 33x12 inch gold brick that is three inches thick, which you used as a canvas...if only you had known the price of had gone up 500% during the time you were cutting and pasting hundred dollar bills into a mosaic of the face of Ben Franklin on a hundred dollar bill you wouldn't have had to file for bankruptcy, and you wouldn't be homeless....and If anyone uses this Idea to make a multi-billion dollar art piece I want 1% of the proffits. 

I wish I legitimately owned a Million dollars.

[Zedd]

Granted, You get millions of dollar bills yet the downside the IRS wants their fair share about 50% because they say you cant be richer than them.

I wish there was a cure for Multiple sclerosis

[Cogidubnus]

Granted. Unfortunately, it's being locked in a machine-iron coffin while 1000 souls a day are sacrificed to keep you alive.

I wish I had something good to eat, that is neither spoiled nor rotten.

[Ryudo Lee]

Granted, but it's so small a morsel and was so expensive that you suffer the buyer's (and eater's) remorse soon after ingesting it.

I wish I had the resources, knowhow, manpower, and want (for lack of a better term for 'opposite of being lazy') to build, maintain, repair and keep up a 9000 node beowulf cluster, comprised of really good machines, indefinitely, and then actually build it.

[Cogidubnus]

Oh, so granted. Unfortunately they run using the windows-based system. *flees into the distance, laughing at your despair*

I wish I had a spear that dripped blood.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Oooo, Cogi, you evil evil sod. *bwahahahahahahaha*

Granted. Unfortunately, you're stuck in a sealed room, and there's enough blood dripping off the end of the spear that you're up to your neck.

And sinking.


I wish I could find that youtube that I was watching the other week. Which they appear to have taken offline, which is a real pity, because it was amazing...

[e_voyager]

granted but not you are tracked down and charged with copyright infringement

i wish that i had been able to spend more time traveling voyaging.

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted you are now an American soldier in Iraq, see the world...meet the terrorists up close and personal.

I wish for a atomic marshmallow launcher.

[Madd the Sane]

Granted, but you accidentally eat one of your radioactive marshmallows and die of radiation poisoning.

I wish I had a more powerful PowerPC Mac. 

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted, you now own a WindowsPC powered by an I-pod...you made it yourself using duct tape.

I wish for people to notice I've updated Abel's friend

[Caswin]

I wish for people to notice I've updated Abel's friend

Granted.  Between their noticing and actually getting there, however, your account is taken over by a troll who replaces Abel's Friend with pr0n, and lots of it.  Your innocence is quickly proven, thankfully, but your reputation never does quite recover.

I wish Adam West's career would be revitalized. (And yes, he can actually act.)

[GabrielsThoughts]

granted, but since he is already revitalized his career by working for Mad Magazine, and as a Voice Actor and he has attained a noteriaty rivaling William Shatners with half as much work. your wish is pushed to the wayside.

I wish I hadn't lost my mothers engagement ring 3 years ago.