Teenage Michael Bay Turtles

Tezkat · March 20, 2012, 05:20:01 PM

I know there are TMNT fans here. You may or may not have heard the news.

Michael Bay is at it again...

Quote from: Michael BayWhen you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day these Turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable.

Um... what?

I suppose something like this was bound to happen after Mirage sold off their rights to the TMNT property. Interestingly enough, I've kinda been through this once before with the Turtles, as I came into the franchise with the original Eastman and Laird comics and Erick Wujcik's pen and paper RPG adaptations. So I greeted the Saturday morning cartoon version that many of you probably consider to be the "original" TMNT with horror, watching my dark, gritty ninjas mutated into green Bugs Bunnies with a pizza fetish. It did start to grow on me eventually, though I was happy when the (first) live action movie and later reboot of the cartoon veered back towards the original comic book roots.

Hollywood has been reboot crazy of late, trying to milk old franchises for all they're worth. Not that that's necessarily bad. I can eventually forgive radical departures from the roots of a brand if the end product is actually good. But even if one disregards Michael Bay's eagerness to trample source material, he's got a dismal track record for producing movies that are even watchable. I gave him the benefit of the doubt going into Transformers. I'm not inclined to make that mistake again...

Kafzeil · March 20, 2012, 10:04:04 PM

Quote from: Michael BayWhen you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day these Turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable.

When I read that I had to double check the date to make sure it wasn't April.

Bay's best movie is the Rock. Not that it's by any definition a great movie, but one I can watch and enjoy without groaning audibly every minute or so. I do wonder how this movie will turn out, given Bay's brand of "Humour" is juvenile at it's smartest. I expect I'll need a long shower after listening to his turtles talk. Provided they're in this movie for more then 50% and "Real" heroes aren't the American military and some loser 17-24 year old.

Also, why make them aliens?! Was the "Mutant Teenager" part too unrealistic for you Bay? So you had to go with aliens who look like anthropomorphic Earth turtles and emulate Ninjutsu? I mean, if we could accept giant turtles wielding weaponized Japanese farming tools, I'm pretty sure we could accept the "Mutated by radioactive goo" portion too.

Like you Tez, I'd be inclined to at least give the movie a go if Bay's name wasn't attached.

JackLee1978 · March 25, 2012, 09:57:50 PM

I can live with the Bay Turtles as long we get a TMNT anime series involving everyone who worked on Basilisk.

On a side note, our dream Turtle series died when Futaro Yamada passed away in 2001.

Alondro · March 30, 2012, 04:24:57 PM

My reaction to this:

Tokoz · March 31, 2012, 12:20:33 AM

I was discussing this with my brother the other day, bemoaning the logic-missing change in backstory. Then we decided Michael Bay was actually plotting the most epic crossover ever between the TMNT and Zen the Intergalactic Ninja, and suddenly it all made sense...

Kafzeil · March 31, 2012, 02:16:37 AM

Quote from: Tokoz on March 31, 2012, 12:20:33 AM
I was discussing this with my brother the other day, bemoaning the logic-missing change in backstory. Then we decided Michael Bay was actually plotting the most epic crossover ever between the TMNT and Zen the Intergalactic Ninja, and suddenly it all made sense...

That's giving Bay WAAAAAAAAAAY too much credit.

ShadesFox · March 31, 2012, 08:56:05 AM

See, I'm just wondering how Bay will shove the military in to steal the spotlight. I'm still thinking that there wasn't enough giant robot in my giant robot movie.

Turnsky · March 31, 2012, 09:58:09 AM

Quote from: ShadesFox on March 31, 2012, 08:56:05 AM
See, I'm just wondering how Bay will shove the military in to steal the spotlight. I'm still thinking that there wasn't enough giant robot in my giant robot movie.

you're forgetting. the Technodrome.

joshofspam · March 31, 2012, 11:54:42 AM

I think Bay's is 'trying' to do what the people are doing currently with the Marvel movies.

Maybe I should replace 'trying' with 'failing'...

littlekreen · March 31, 2012, 01:54:01 PM

seems like all the movies lately are lowballing. nobody even wants to take the chance with a new IP anymore... let's just make shredder a nazi and make a new "reimagined" revision next year! we can totally get uwe boll to direct it! movie industry just makes me want to facepalm all the way through my skull.

Alondro · April 02, 2012, 02:02:25 PM

Hollywood is filled with stupid people raised in an arrogant, self-serving fantasy world in which they all aid in each other's self-delusion of intelligence and relevance. This is compounded by the fact that most Americans are 'educated' (cough-gag) by a public school system that graduates an increasingly large fraction of half-literates who can't even add without the help of a calculator, and who gladly eat up the drivel Hollow-wood vomits onto the screen. Evidence of this is the popularity of horrible reality shows featuring horrible people whom all the vapid twits in the population strive to emulate.