Things I am no longer allowed to do in an RPG

[Madd the Sane]

Like the title says, list things that the DM has forbidden you, or the group, from doing. In the style of Mr Welch, please.

[e_voyager]

i may no longer start guessing games about my dice rolls.

[Corgatha Taldorthar]

I am no longer allowed to point out gaping flaws in a medieval style order of battle if my character, say, a monk, would have no knowledge that would enable him to spot such flaws.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

I am no longer allowed to play a bard, and persuade someone to believe in the Penis of Vecna.

(which, I'll freely admit, is not my own, but is such a classically evil and awesome thing to do...)

[AmberCross]

Rolling dice is for deciding how the action went, not for what the action was.
Declaration of actions are to be given with words... not sound effects, interpretive dance, semaphores, or anything else I may happen to come up with.
Options for battle are not: "Fight, Item, Pkmn, Flee"

[Suwako]

I may no longer waste saving throws to grope a succubus.
( The DM never allowed me to use it as a kind of attack... )

[That_wolf]

I am no longer allowed within 500 yards of cities.

[Gabi]

I am no longer allowed to make my rolls when the DM isn't looking, even if everyone else is looking and I've been trying to get his attention for a while.

And I'm no longer allowed to transform into a hawk, but an eagle is fine.

And... I shouldn't be allowed to summon badgers in the desert or in a big city, but he lets that slide because badgers are fun.

[e_voyager]

i may no longer use magic to sucker punch sleeping dragons
i may no longer use magic to sucker punch my fellow dungeon runners so that i can steal there share of the loot.
i may no longer use magic to try and sucker npc shop characters because there prices are to high.
I may no longer use magic to sucker punch non monster characters.
i may not rename my magic missile wand , wand of rocket/distance sucker punch
i may no longer play primary magical characters unless everyone including the gm agrees.
my half orc barbarian does not know magic and can not sucker punch anyone with it. A regulars sucker punch is okay though.
regardless of what i name my character if i start three encounters with a sucker punch my new character name is Abel

[Suwako]

I may no longer use backwards spelled profanities as last names and then reveal that I AM the bad guy by revelation of that fact.

I may no longer betray the group to be the ( or allied to )  badguy, no matter how badly they preformed.

I may no longer Scream RAGEQUIT just before I die. ( nor may I name a spell that )

I may no longer input lanes for demon''lords'' such as ''fluffy''

I may no longer waste throws on the name changing of demon''lords'' in battle.

[e_voyager]

Dragon slave is not a level one spell regards of who the DM is.
dragon slave doe not mean that the dragon is a harmer dancer even if i have pictures to the contrary
dragon slaver is not the be all end all magic spell. neither is giga slave
spirit bomb is not a magic spell and can not be used as such.
rage does not make me a super saiyan even if i dye my hair blond
i may no longer take spells from anime for any games i dm
wizards crystals are not chaos emeralds and my not be used as such
i do not have a robotize wand no mapper how cool it sounds
bad to the bunny is not my theme song and even if it was i am not allowed to hum it while taking my turn
there or no magical jewels in the game to me to collect to give me a super mode (thought there really should be)

[Naldru]

When the treasure is actually a technological item (The item is a thin box with a large number of dice fastened to the top.  Each of the dies has a mark on only one side and appear to attached to the item with a small post.  How can you not realize it's a keyboard?), I am not allowed to identify the item, explain the technology, and provide a brief description of how it can be used.

The DM complained that the knowledge would not have been available to my character.  Even though I explained that I had to do something to pass the time in the castle library while waiting for my latest rendezvous with a member of the opposite sex.  Discovery of such meetings being the reason that I had been assigned to that stupid quest.

[Lisky]

As a rogue, i am no longer allowed to lead the party

[Draken]

My character Roon may soon be forced to stop using the warrior lady he just captured as a desk and Magical-cup holder.  (Cup is upside down.  Imaginations are go as to where the cup has been placed.)

[Gabi]

I may no longer give the scary mysterious powerful guy nicknames related to bleach or plastic bag brands.

[LionHeart]

When asked by the town guards "What god do you follow?", I may no longer answer with "The one in the sky".

[Suwako]

I may no longer play a religious zealot worshipping the goddess of virility.

No matter if my character is male or female... or neither.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

When asked by the town guards "What god do you follow?", I may no longer answer with "The one in the sky".

.... Nor may I answer "I dunno, what have you got?"

[e_voyager]

When asked by the town guards "What god do you follow?", I may no longer answer with "The one in the sky".

.... Nor may I answer "I dunno, what have you got?"

I may no longer claim that i am a god when asked what god i follow.

[Suwako]

When asked by the town guards "What god do you follow?", I may no longer answer with "The one in the sky".

.... Nor may I answer "I dunno, what have you got?"

I may no longer claim that i am a god when asked what god i follow.

... nor may I answer that I am their satan.

[e_voyager]

I may no longer call for a game of Clue ball when i'm the first to realize that the GM has been hitting  our party with a industrial strength Clue bat for the past hour and i haven't figured out what to do.

I may no longer call for a game of Clue ball when i'm the first to realize that the GM has been hitting  our party with a industrial strength Clue bat for the past hour even if i have figured out what to do and the others are still clueless.