Here's how it works:
1. Someone makes a wish. Example: I wish I were not a Bishy Kitten
2. The person who replies, must corrupt that wish in some way. Example: You're not a Bishy Kitty! Primarily because you have just been assigned as the Deity of Cuteness
3. Then that person makes a wish to be corrupted.
Original thread is: HERE (http://clockworkmansion.com/forum/index.php?topic=484.0)
Just one thing, you can only corrupt a wish that hasn't been corrupted. So it helps if you quote the wish you are corrupting.
And so we begin!
<end edit by Damaris>
Granted, you are eventually hunted down and killed by some adventurers.
I wish I was immortal.
Granted. You are now the world's smallest diamond.
I wish I had more things to say.
Granted, you now cannot stop talking and are eventually put down for the humanitarian reason of being annoying to everyone else.
I wish I had an unlimited food supply of excellent quality.
Quote from: Valynth on December 17, 2006, 12:52:31 PM
I wish I had an unlimited food supply of excellent quality.
Granted. Unfortunately, it's far more than you can eat, and, like, well, y'know, there's no hope you can eat even a little bit of it, comparatively speaking, before it starts to go stale, old, and inedible.
Right about now, actually. Pay attention, your timeframe has been extended, too, so it seems like it's starting to rot immediately...
I wish I could be a little more creative with my corruptions. I feel like I'm just barely coping...
Corruptions are now you life you can't do anything else!
I wish that i could be as strong as 50 men w/o showing it.
Granted. You are now a woman. :-)
Get ready for pain, however, as you're in 1st stage labour....
I wish I had something more useful to do with my time.
Granted, you are now working the fields of a cotton plantation.
I wish I had a date with a intelligent, beautiful, and not-going-to-kill-me woman!
granted, and as a bonus she has more than 20 other personality disorders to keep you entertained.
I wish for an atomic pumpkin launcher.
Granted. However, it malfunctions and about 5 million pumpkins are raining on various parts of the world as we speak.
I wish for an uncorruptable wish. :3
Granted. However, that sadly breaks the thread down, and you're expelled from it for an indefinite time.
I wish that I had more time and enthusiasm to do schoolwork right now.
Granted, you now do nothing but school work for the rest of your life leading you to a could and lonely death.
I wish there were no bad anime and WW2 games.
Granted! You now both get the same thing in one part! Now your endless stuck in a WW2 anime game for rest of your life! And yet till a zeplien drops onto your poor n00bish head
I wish someone killed the creators of Assy Mcgee
Granted, but the cost of a hitman quickly empties you wallet.
I wish humanity had a common enemy so we would stop fighting each other.
granted but it seems that the common enemy is not only man made but victorious as well.
i wish i could get ghostbusters extreme out of my head!
Granted. It has been replaced with Super Mario Bros theme tune.
I wish I'd gone to bed earlier.
Granted but sadly now your compled to sleep in earlier than usual and now suffer of 10% less anal leakage as well...
I wish I had more energy to stay awake and not becoming a power sorce of any kind and I wish I had a job as well
Granted, unfortunately, you can't seem to sleep at all. With the added stress of a job and sleep deprivation, you eventually gain multiple strokes and seizures, which your employer refuses to treat.
I wish I had a license to kill.
Granted. Unfortunately, it only applies to one specific person, and in a fit on confusion, you sign your own name.
I wish that it would snow down here sometime. Just once! :<
Granted. The drifts pile up to five feet high and nobody can get anywhere for the next two days...and you're stuck inside. :mwaha
I wish I had my incentive to write stories back... :shifty
Granted, unfortunately you can not stop writing and must write by hand.
I wish I could build a working Mech.
granted, however you regret it immediately when you discover you could have bought one from Japan at 1/10 the cost.
I wish for a turkey with all the fixings.
Granted. You now have a castrated turkey.
He doesn't seem all that pleased about it.
I wish I'd gone home earlier...
Granted, unfortunately it's so early you don't even exist yet.
I wish I had my own servant robot.
granted you not have Forte's little sister techno to look after but she's no roll. her ideal of cooking is ordering pizza and her ideal of cleaning a room is arson but if you hurt her you'll answer to me then to him.
i wish that mind and forte's mental states did not over lap so often this is a copy body for goodness sake.
Granted...but now yours overlaps with Gospel's mental state...
I wish I had a Date with Fa'lina...
Granted.
You never come back.
I wish that I had a really good coffee right now.
Granted. Only it's gone cold, while you're distracted.
I wish my wife was coming home tonight.
Granted. She comes home with a shotgun and blows your boxy head off.
I wish DeviantArt would let me see Miaka's latest piece of art.
Granted sadly you see it and scars your mind for a lifetime and your have a anureism dead in your bathroom on the can :<
I wish could find ways use my perverion skills for good
granted you are now Deuce Biggalow.
I wish I had a plasma gun
Granted, but the battery's depleted, and the UNSC hasn't figured out how to recharge them.
I wish I had something to do. :headdesk
Granted, you now must push a boulder up a hill for all of eternity.
I wish I had an indestructible Wii.
granted, but due to it's Über indestructable-ness, you throw by accident and it's indestucttible-ness breaks your TV.
I wish for tacos.
granted, but now you catch a case of E-coli (yes I've seen the news about Taco Bell)...
I wish I had the power of the heavens...
granted, unfortunately the combining of the infinite numbers of heavens with their infinite powers causes all the dimensions including infinity to collapse.
I wish there were more types of meat-eating palnts.
Granted, Only the downside it grows so huge and now wants to eat you and screams every FEED ME Seymour!
I wish for a blue left-handed Rickenbacker bass guitar model 4001!
Granted, but since no one knows what that is, you live a lonely life by yourself with your guitar. And a bunch of cats.
I Wish I was God of Thunder
Granted. You now have to count all the stones on all the beaches in Wales. And you've been glued to the floor.
I wish I wasn't quite so disillusioned about work.
Granted you will now go about your crappy job without realising that there are better opprotunities.
I wish I had Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Quote from: Valynth on December 21, 2006, 11:27:32 AM
Granted you will now go about your crappy job without realising that there are better opprotunities.
I wish I had Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
You do, but it won't run on your system.
I wish Windows CE didn't _______ suck.
**EDIT**
to ensure PG compilance.
Granted. Unfortunately, a patch comes out and it sucks again.
I wish I had the power to make people calm at command.
Granted. You have the power to transfer others’ hyperness to yourself. After a few times of doing that, you are never calm again. To keep up with your hyperactivity, you must eat a tremendous amount of food; about 5,000 calories per day. Can you say “wallet drain”?
I wish those who visited my site would give me more feedback on it. That place is quiet… too quiet.
granted, unfortunately you get so much of a response that it takes the entire server down.
And 90% of it is negative
I wish I had known that my college had their registration for winter in November.
Granted. But you promptly forgot it until it was too late.
I wish for DanxMatilda fanart.
Granted. It's unprintable. Mostly because the artist wasn't capable of drawing anything worth printing...
I wish I could go to bed at a reasonable hour sometimes.
Granted, you now live in las vegas where reasonable hours for sleep are somwhere between 11pm and 4:30am. get to bed early or you'll be useless without that 45 minutes of peaceful sleep your neighbors so kindly provide you with when they get home from their casino shift at 1 o' clock in the morning.
I wish I could have free internet
Granted, but watching snails race would be several times faster and it takes up the phone line.
I wish I could draw well.
Granted, but one likes what you draw well.
I wish that i could have a pet Panther cub that wouldn't attack me.
Granted. It attacks everyone else instead, eats your cat, humps your dog, anoints your furniture, etc etc.
Oh, and you can't get rid of it, either.
I wish I was on holiday already.
Granted, You are now a turkey thats baking in my oven over 450 degrees! Arent you happy being part of a hoilday!
I wish I got laid...And maybe having kids at a same time...Without dying
ok, you are now both male and female, which means you are capible of giving birth while impregnating your next conquest... enjoy your new life of sefvitude in the underworld with the dolphins.
I wish santa was real.
Granted, unfortunately he's an evil robot who declares everyone to be naughty and worthy of a smiting.
I wish women liked guys who respect them.
Granted. Mwahahahahahaha!
The only problem with that is you're looking in all the wrong bars. Try avoiding the Blue Oyster, and picking one that isn't a gay bar.
I wish I had great, all-encompassing power.
Granted, but now you at 10 inches tall.
I wish that i had Jedi powers.
granted, unfortunately the jedi's castrate you to prevent any sequels.
I wish I had an Armslave with a lambda driver that I could pilot.
Granted. However, any attempts of you being a pilot of end miserably. You're clumsy, a terrible shot, and the Lambda Driver tends to put you "out there." But you get to be a medical experiment, so that's a plus. :P
I wish I had all the soundtracks for the .hack//GU games.
Granted. However that is all you have now.
I wish i could make thing come to life... like stuff animals... that i could always control.
Granted, How evers this doesnt stop them killing your mother and father with a lawn chair and a couple skipping stones...And later on you become like this evil plushie dictator almost bad as Hittler and later on shot in the head...By your will alone
I wish able change my gender and body at will..But not being up as a fish type of any kind
Granted. William is less than impressed.
Neither are his bodyguards, who instantly arrest you for treason, since, once you changed shape, your trousers fell down.
I wish it was a either a bit colder and wetter, so we had snow, or warmer, so we weren't freezing.
Granted, It was so cold and so wet that you had a bizzard that you can't do anything in for 3 days.
I wish that that this came true.
Quote from: Zedd on December 23, 2006, 03:26:57 AM
Granted, How evers this doesnt stop them killing your mother and father with a lawn chair and a couple skipping stones...And later on you become like this evil plushie dictator almost bad as Hittler and later on shot in the head...By your will alone
:mwaha
granted, you never existed... what was I talking about again?
I wish they would have better marathon's on the holidays.
Granted, unfortunately you didn't pay your bills so you can't watch any of them.
I wish I knew the secret of the universe
granted but it curses you to live the lifespan of a universe as you body become a small living one inhabbited by the souls of the dead 'some good most evil and war like entities. ' from other universes. good luck enjoy the rest of your 900T years.
i wish i had a sense of remorse.
granted, you already have a sense of remorse...thank you for wasting a wish.
I wish for a pair pf black socks... and I don't want any feet attached to them when I get them.
granted you now have a a pair of black socks. did i mention that were were made of rusted iron and that they give you lock jaw when you pick them up?
(also as anyone who knows me knows i have no remorse. and considering how many times you've tried to turn me into sailor moon i thought you're realise that by now.)
I wish that my little sister would stop talking me into getting her video games. she almost never plays them as is.
Granted, Your little sister doesn't have a mouth anymore, But she soon die after because she can't eat or drink...(man i am mean :mowsad)
I wish that I had a better job at some tech. management position.
your wish is granded your at a company's tech. management position but the building burns down the next day.
I wish for a ever lasting piece of pie
Granted. You can never get rid of the pie and the crumbs that are left all over the place attract everlasting hordes of insects. :mwaha
I wish for an undestructable computer. :U
Granted, It has an undestructable forcefeild which prevents you from going near it.
I wish I had more games for my PS2, Not not the scratched up/buggy/extremely easy kind though.
Granted, unfortunately they're all really bad anime and World War 2 games.
I wish I had the complete Transformers (original) season 1 dvd set.
your wish is granded but your dog eats them all
I wish for x-ray vision
Granted. You can now see through clothes. But only those worn by overweight 43yo truckers from Kansas called Keith. And your 97yo grandmother.
I wish I was more awake of a morning.
granted. you are never allowed to sleep again.
I wish for gummy bears
Granted, but it's the only show on TV, FOREVER! (Well for some it may not be a bad thing... :3)
I wish for DVD sets for every cartoon in the 80's and 90's, to please everyone who was a kid back in the day. :)
Granted. However, they are illegal forgeries and you spend the rest of your life in jail due to an overzealous judge.
I wish I was a female version of myself.
Granted. It's your "time of the month." And yes, you are one of those women who gets mind-slaughteringly painful cramps. :mwaha Know our pain, Biznatch!
I wish I knew exactly why the war hasn't stopped yet.
Granted...however you are now in the middle of a conspiracy to hide the fact that the insurgents are working for the Decepticons and the US/UK are working for the Autobots...
I wish I was more sexy than I am now...
Granted, unfortunately you are soon torn to bits by a hoard of [insert preferred gender here].
I wish Master of Magic would play faster.
granted but now you can't keep up as it plays and 300 actions a second
i wish i knew what happened to Kio
Granted Kio was huggable snuggable, but perhaps a bit of an "arse" so he either changed his name or was tragically killed by the mod's...and now that you know you will suffer the same fate for knowing too much!
BWAH ha ha...you have seven days before the undead zombie of the formerly huggable Kio comes to swallow your soul. enjoy!
I wish for a bag of gumi bears.
Granted. You didn't specify that they should be without cyanide.
I wish that I were home, and not stuck somewhere in the far east with nothing to do but beating on thai people much of the day...
Granted, but then you come home to find that Aliens have taken over...and they're not the Illegal Immigrant kind of Aliens...they're the demon kind of Aliens.
I wish I was a Cubi...that way I could easily get a girlfriend...
Granted, but now that your a Cubi you attract the same sew and you are now gay.... Come here big boy. :mwaha
I wish that I could make myself and others live longer without aging and the effects of aging on the brain.
granted you have now been robotized and Ivo kintobor(robotnik) is waiting for you and your friend to get to work. enjoy years upon years of serving a mad human.
i wish that you would not grant this wish.
your wish is granded but someone of the FBI shoots you
I wish for a mow
Granted but your mow was eaten by Kirby. ( Verey tragic) :U
I wish I had an Moogle. :moogle
Granted but it is also eaten by kirby. :mwaha
I wish I was all-powerful but i have control of when I am all-powerful
granted you are now all powerful in the art of the Machachula hula dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvcK0OOopwE) with perfect control of you timing for the dance. sadly these powers do not apply elsewhere IN you life ad can not be wished for again
now i wish Ah ahhjs no not you again! I wish that people were singing up for my lessons on hot to be evil! 9i need more competition and i'm getting bored.
Granted How ever the only people dumb enough to sign is Mr Magoo and yet he defeats you easliey even if he's nearsited
I wish I had to see into peoples minds and a watch that I can do anything with it
Granted...you get bored several minutes later...
I wish I had a Cubi for a girlfriend...preferringly the vixen(fox) type...
Granted, but after you get her pregnant she eats you because of cravings.
I wish that i could be in a Ipod commercial.
Granted...unfornately, you're stuck dancing to the beat and can't stop!
I wish people would join my new RP...I think it would be great!
granted, but then it is not as wonderful as you had hoped.
I wish for a pair of wings.
Granted. Unfortunately, and rather on-topic-ly, they're just about the right size for Wildy....
I wish I had a little more get up and go.
granted but it got up and went while you were making this wish.
i wish it were easier the control the voices from my head.
Granted, there are no more voices in your head...(I cured you :mwaha)
I wish that every plushie doll in the world would come alive and attack everyone except me and a few other people of my choosing
(looks around as all the voices in his head have been evicted but have also taken physical form. and the look pretty upset. hey now guys you all wanted control of my body well now you have your own aren't you happy? can we all just get along?)
granted but it is a massacre and you are blamed for it.
i wish i did not feel the need to push every wishes corruption just a little bit further.
Granted. Every wish is corrupted as far as you'd like it to be. Unfortunately, that means some of the corruptions you wrote came true... You are put on trial for the robotization of Snuggles, the illegal speed-up of Master of Magic, and the Plushie Doll massacre of '06.
I wish piracy could go back to the good ol' days. None of those lame music-stealing pirates or modern-day pirates - I want Treasure Island-style pirates to make a comeback!
Granted. You get shanghaied by a crew of gentlemen who have been at sea for far, FAR too long and get scurvy.
I wish for one (1) "Get out of physics free" card.
Granted of course your skipping makes the world doomed cause you found out the cure for AIDs and die at the same time from eating too much rock and roll mcdonalds
I wish a not the..but a cabin boy of a pirate ship....
Granted you are now the cabin girl of a priat* sucker punched. As he was saying. Granted you are not the first mate of a pirate ship with an amorose caption that planed to make you live up to that title. Hey that wasn't fair he's my friend if I'm going to corrupt his wish then I'm going to do it not one of you,
I wish my layer hand not tried the insanity defense. now i'm being forced to reveal i'm the one behind several plots for global domination includes the old US foreign policy and the upcoming new US foreign policy
Granted, your lawyer tried the Certified Lame Duck Defense...unfortunately the Lame Duck Association, has thrown you out of the courtroom with nothing but a funny little hat, which holds the quarters you recieve as you dance like little miss sunshine in the snow. As a result you get a cold and are thrown into the nuthouse where Bubba HoTep sucks your lifeforce out of your body through your backside, and the only ones who believe you are an Elvis impersonator and the former african american president Jack Kenedy who's brain has been replaced with a bag of sand.
I wish someone could list the movie refrence.
sure, but when? when? I'll leave that answer to time.
I wish I had a goatee to rival the facial hair of the gods themselves!
Granted, but like the gods' facial hair it's made out of stone, hope you enjoy the taste of pavement!
I wish I had a skill.
Granted. You know have the skill to destroy people's minds just by looking at them. Unfortunately, your best friends happen to walk into your room as you are making the wish. >:3
I wish that I can figure out a fursona for myself and find someone to draw it for me. Seriously, I can be very indecisive at times. :<
granted, your fusona is a crudly drawn stick figure that looks vaugely simmilar to alien retard bunny, a cheap happy noodle boy ripoff I discovered recently. enjoy your new fursona my friend, because it will stick with you for the rest of your life.
I wish for arrested development to become uncancelled.
Granted, but now it is so crappy that you cannot stand it...
I wish I could date a Vixen Succubus IRL...
Grandted...You go on a date with my now undead mother who will be so kindly escorted to be your date tonight...
I wish I had a job right now an non too tireing kind
granted, you now work ar your local recreation center and wish for an even more effortless job at a fast food resturaunt.
I wish for my very own limited edition action figure with special features.
Granted, but it's been smashed to over 1000 pieces and scattered to the four winds.
I wish I was more decisive.
Granted, but you can't decide what to be decisive about.
I wish I was awake earlier.
granted you were now kidnapped by me and forced to watching bad anime since midnight
i wish that i had more ways to communicate with others . the five i have now seem so limited
Granted. You are now telepathic. However, you cannot turn off the ability to hear other's thoughts. You find out that the guy at Reception is a TG-fetishist, and that the lady in accounting is plotting to kill her husband. The worst part, however, is that the manager has the Barney soundtrack playing nonstop in his head. Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere!
I wish that I didn't know so much about fetishes.
Granted but now there is no furry fandom anymore,pushies or anything to do anymore and a long line of people want to kick the living snot out your ass
I wish I had a Janus Bond plush
granted but it is haunted but any amorous ghost that wants your body in more ways one.
i wish that i understood the reason i need to lose my memory when i start a new life.
granted, however the answer is soon forgotten in your new life as a goldfish...bu the way the reason is 42.
I wish there were fewer remakes of old movies.
Granted but now there are no more movies to watch
I wish the dogs didn't eat my stuffed penguin.
Granted, but now it's clawed up by a cat.
I wish I was interesting.
Granted. You are now so interesting that every media newscaster on the planet won't give you a minute's peace. >:3
I wish I could actually manage to fall asleep at a steady schedule. <.<;
granted, you are doomed to repeat the same day over and over and worse it's automatic so you can't learn anything new.
I wish for a snowman.
granted but it's Jack the eviler toxic snow man and he wants a very bloody Christmas.
i wish few of my corruptions turned out this way.
Granted, but you enjoy it, so everyone stops corrupting your wishes.
I wish I could actually focus on some work...
Granted...You get a snowman and now he wants to kill you and his name is JackFrost and hes looking for your blood! And rape and kill all the girls! Anyhow..Enjoy your moments of your snowman on the loose
I wish for a lifesized Janus doll
Granted you know have raptor focus at work and none anywhere else which leads to complication in your life.
granted but a week later when you coworkers come looking for you all then find is a life sizes Zedd plush and a note saying " thanks for the new lease on life" taped to it.
I wish Zed had corrupted Llearch's Wish instead of re-corrupting Gt's with the same corruption that i used. (good detail though)
granted, however if you think about it, by giving my wish to llearch Zedd had already corrupted the wish's intentions. however because of your knitpickyness has removed all the strings holding your reality in place you are now Bambi, a deer who's mamma died in a tragic accident on christmass eve.
I wish I could see the original Bambi again, as the last 15 or so years since I've seen it has probably corrupted my memories of the movie.
Granted But sadly now your a kid again and now will have to grow up naturally....Like in gods intention!
I wish I had slightly better residence to spicy stuff
granted, you now live in Joe's apartment, where there is all sorts of spicy stuff laying about the place and festering...of course you are one of Joe's closest cockroach buddies and tag along with him as he does many odd jobs around town.
I wish for fruitcake.
Granted. But it's incredibly old and stale. You drop it and it breaks every bone in your left foot.
I wish people would use spellcheck more often.
granted one more person uses spellcheck whenever they can unfornately most of their post are on their hacked blackberry as it is not strong enough for spellcheck.
i wish that others knew how hard spelling was for me.
Granted. However, since everyone knows how hard spelling is for you, nobody listens to anything you say anyway.
I wish I didn't take so long to catch up with the forum.
granted you now catch up with the forum with the speed of an OX.
i wish others had the same difficulties spelling that i do. that would stop them form picking on me about my spelling
Wish granted. Everyone remembers how to spell, but due to a strange new mental disorder, they can't type them correctly. Scientists are baffled and can't find a cure. You just condemned the entire board to a life of ridicule and unemployment, you selfish bleep.
I wish people like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell would realize how stupid they are and change their ways.
Granted. They do change their ways...but lots of other people continue to be stupid.
I wish that brussels sprouts would be annhililated off the face of the planet. :shifty
granted, now they don't exist, but now everything else tastes like them.
I wish I was a highly trained secret agent.
Granted, Now you are my idol Janus Bond and I keep you in my room in a cage and do naughty unspeakable things to you
I wish Abel have my man babys :mwaha ...and dont worry...I'll pay childsupport
Granted. They all end up retarded, blind and mostly deaf, but not enough that they don't enjoy their own horrid cries and keep you up all night. Abel insists that they live with you too.
I wish that certain people had the sense not to deny abortion out of religious reasons or sentimentality.
Granted, but now instead of reducing the age of development to get an abortion they're now increasing it, you can now kill your children "Humanely" until age 17 years, 11 months, and 29 days.
I wish people would realize that birthcontrol gone out of control could destroy our race very effectively.
Granted. This is, however, no deterrent.
I wish I could control all gravity.
(I made that same wish in the previous thread, but anyhow)
Granted, unfortunately you must maintain it. The next time you go to sleep, gravity ceases and everything is thrown into space.
I wish I had an avatar.
(My apologies: I was completely unaware. 'Tis a fairly enticing concept though, no? >:3)
Granted, but it's not of you. :<
I wish that Ficus trees could stand temperatures below freezing.
Granted. Scientists produce a new, better ficus. It ends up outcompeting all other trees all the way up to the Taiga, and ruins many a delicate ecosystem.
I wish that the human race wasn't so bloody degenerated.
Granted, you are castrated to prevent further degeneration.
(wow, that was surprisingly evil of me....)
I wish the peoples of the world would lighten up.
Granted. Everyone now has to wear shades, because everyone is glowing. Quite brightly, even.
I wish I was able to concentrate a little better, and get some coding done.
Granted,People code so good they break into your computer and make it turn into a pickleworth sandwitch with hot mustard
I wish dinner was ready..Im famished
Granted, unfortunately it was ready five years ago.
I wish everyone had a sense of humour
granted unforunetly it is a grim sadistic sense of humor where they enjoy hurting people and watcher people get hurt and you have become a favorite target. enjoy ( bwhaha)
i wish that it were easier to purge tired souls from my body.
Granted, but it's so easy that even your soul is purged, leaving the body an empty husk.
I wish Troy in Montgomery had more parking.
Quote from: Valynth on January 13, 2007, 02:21:44 AMI wish Troy in Montgomery had more parking.
Just the opportunity the Martian invasion fleet was waiting for!
I wish I had chicken.
Granted, You are now LEEEEEERRRROOOYY JEEEEENNNKINSS! and you least have chicken all you wanted
I wish I had found my mother...
Granted, unfortunately she keeps making comments on every little detail of your life.
I wish I knew how to make and harness black holes
granted but you gain the doctor doom complex with the doctor evil success and the red shirt ensign survivability odds. good luck
i wish i have the ability to get more money whenever i wanted.
Granted. However, it's stolen from the national bank, and you get put away for life on charges of conspiracy. Your cellmate is a crazed mechanic who takes you apart and makes you into a toaster.
I wish my window didn't have a crack in it.
Granted. Now the entire wall has a crack in it, but that window doesn't.
I wish I wasn't so naive.
Quote from: Black_angel on January 14, 2007, 03:20:51 PMI wish I wasn't so naive.
All the mysteries of the universe are revealed unto you at once. You become a gibbering husk without a hope of processing anything, and ironically wind up comprehending less than before. (Ah, Dark Phoenix, you so crazy...)
Speaking of Doctor Doom, I wish the 1980s Spider-Man show would air again. The one without his Amazing Friends.
Granted, unfortunately it's only the first episode over and over again.
I wish all nations were as free as the U.S.A.
*edited for clarity*
Well you get your wish yet the fight starts up all up again and now we wish to kill aliens that try to break bread with us
I wish I had some large sum of cash right now to get a game I need
(ooookay, that corruption made absolutely no sense.)
Granted, you are now in jail for counterfeiting.
I wish there were no more Monarcies, Theocracies, Dictatorships, or Communist Governments without causing the countries to devolve into Anarchists.
granted but now they are are gone compete with there land and population.
i wish i have remembered that the give the next posted thread was dead.
Granted. You remembered, but it just saddened you, nothing else.
I wish that some people would stop being so blatant, and taking stuff so literally.
Quote from: Stygian on January 15, 2007, 03:47:31 AMI wish that some people would stop being so blatant, and taking stuff so literally.
The Corrupt-a-Wish game collapses. Nice one.
I wish people would be
more blatant.
Granted. They show a blatant disregard for safety and you and your entire hometown are destroyed in a giant explosion.
I wish that I had a 1.5-foot long harmless garter snake for a pet.
granted. and you become best friends with him, so you decide to take him with you on a plane trip, where some big black guy gets angry and kills him. ^.^ I wish for cool hair!
granted you not grow icicles for hair enjoy
i wish more a better mastery of time
Granted. However, you sneeze, and the timestream falls to pieces. Nothing is in order now, and everything is uncertain. Enjoy having a baffling and pointless existance.
I wish my assignment was shorter.
Granted. You have to write a twelve-word essay on the meaning of life. And "Forty-two" doesn't count. Good luck! ^_~
I wish I had the Hellsing OVA Special Edition DVD. And that it wasn't damaged in any way, shape or form.
Quote from: Black_angel on January 15, 2007, 08:13:31 PMI wish I had the Hellsing OVA Special Edition DVD. And that it wasn't damaged in any way, shape or form.
Fine. But it's hand-delivered by Montana Max. Just so long as the DVD isn't damaged...
I wish I knew how or knew someone who knew how to make a decent website.
Granted, you now know about a person who could make a decent website, but you are soon arrested for stalking.
I wish I could trade in my sense of humour for one that made sense.
Granted, your sense of humour is now corrupted to make sense to you and noone else
I wish i had the control over time
Granted, unfortunately you don't move through space and end up in space.
I wish everything moved in bullet-time
Granted. Unfortunately, it takes so long to pour a cup of coffee that you die of old age.
I wish that I could make it rain on command.
Granted, however it only rains specifically in the areas you designate and the nations of the world do not exactly approve of holding the world's rain supply.
I wish I could always find a parking spot at my college.
Granted, however it is, unfortunately, always full of someone else's car.
I wish I'd been able to get the upgrades finished before I went live with them.
Granted, unfortunately there are hundreds more bugs in them that you have to fix.
I wish I knew how to program computers.
Granted, but now computers are out dated.
I wish that i could draw better and that everyone would like.
Granted, but unfortunately, everyone starts to ask you for drawings and you get overwhelmed, and become crabby and irritable.
On that note, I wish that I could make people nice and calm on command.
granted but they become too calm and you are wanted for putting 8 people into coma's
i wish that i had all the tech i need to build a working gaydar.( i blame umlaut hose and surviving mars for this wish)
Quote from: e_voyager on January 18, 2007, 01:28:03 AMi wish that i had all the tech i need to build a working gaydar.( i blame umlaut hose and surviving mars for this wish)
You wind up in a corner, hugging yourself, muttering "All the time... they're everywhere..."
And then comes the classic twist...
(No, I do not actually believe this, but I couldn't resist. ;))
I wish Hollywood would make a crossover movie. Bourne/Bond. Superman/Batman. V/Batman. Whatever.
Granted but they all suck big balls! :mowsad
I wish that i could live like i am living now forever.
Granted, you are now stuck in a loop and must re-live the same day for the rest of your life.
I wish I could build my own nuclear reactor without radiation leakage or Government interferance.
granted...but the president of the united stats has been in formed the terrorists have transformed you into one of the "my little pony" dolls...and we mut take action immediately by blowing up Iran.
I wish to be seventeen years old again.
Granted, you now have premenant angst, depression, and acne.
I wish humans could eat, digest, and gain nutrition from rocks.
Quote from: Valynth on January 19, 2007, 08:55:24 PM
I wish humans could eat, digest, and gain nutrition from rocks.
Granted. Soon, they become standard fare. Restaurants, cafeterias and such are full of 'em. "Rock or nonrock?", they say.
And then some genius declares a food fight...
I wish real-life stage comedians were as funny as the Internet people who make those cat pictures.
EDIT: Booyah! 1k!
Granted, Now stand up comandy is preformed by cats and people all fall asleep and die by the radio waves
I wish I had all the tools on my computer to make a simple video game and none of it was broken,smashed or lost or cause my computer to blow up or otherwise
granted your soul however now belongs to Disney and you are responsible for the worst movie of all time second only to "santa clause versus the martians"
I wish for a clock radio.
Granted. You now have a radio that changes channel every second.
I wish I'd been in bed hours ago.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on January 19, 2007, 09:22:10 PM
granted your soul however now belongs to Disney and you are responsible for the worst movie of all time second only to "santa clause versus the martians"
Objection! How is that relevant to the wish being corrupted?
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on January 19, 2007, 09:43:29 PMI wish I'd been in bed hours ago.
As a result, you fail to make this wish. You get pulled apart by a paradox; bye-bye.
Now go to sleep.
yor wish for nothing has been granted, however the reason you wished such a thing in the firstplace, was because you have been stranded in an airport terminal for the last two days.
I wish for girls jumping on trampolines.
granted you not have a movie of troll girls workout volume 2: trolls on trampolines
I wish it were a little hared to corrupt a wish
Granted, You suddely realize as you are reading this wish grantment your computer turns into granite stonelike slabs and your tools are soild hard as bricks and to get any messages you have to live like the flintsones with tiny smart animals inside who speak and say..."Its a living..."
Wish I had sweeter and fresher smelling burps and farts
Granted, but now everytime you fart and burp it destroys the O-Zone layer...
I wish i had control over any Cat, big or small, to do with what i want.
Granted, the world dies due to solar radiation.
I wish I could make an entertaining comic.
Quote from: Valynth on January 20, 2007, 10:30:32 PM
Granted, the world dies due to solar radiation.
OBJECTION!! :U
caswin, your a wish to be a forum nazi has been fulfilled. take your prize and and behold my one fingered salute as I banish you from participating in our wishmaking services.
I wish caswin would be turned into a little girl with pigtails and dollies.
Granted, but now she clings to you constantly, and you are expected to do everything
I wish i had some fish :)
Granted. You have sharks. And you're bleeding. In the water. (Someone else make the Jaws joke, please?)
I wish global warming would stop. And DON'T say it doesn't exist, please. Humor me.
Granted...It stops and starts to suddly become cold and peoples nipples almost fall thanks to your wish and now people suffer like barbie dollsand now your dad wants you go out with him and hunt some carroibu
I wish I had the heart to tell my dad I am "really" gay
granted but you dad has and even bigger surprise for you.
i wish that i could change forms as easy as beast boy doe but with out the greed skin condition.
*starts humming "doe, a deer, a female deer..." *
Granted. You now become a bambi. Unfortunately, changing back is rather harder - in fact, terrifically hard, and before you manage it, you get turned into bambi steaks by a passing hunter.
I wish I had a slice of nice, tender venison....
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on January 21, 2007, 05:34:03 AMI wish I had a slice of nice, tender venison....
Mm, delicious. Of course, it's only later that you find out you just ate a chunk of Rudolph. Millions of Christmas special fans are now out for your blood - but before they can get it, the Rudolphlesh turns out to have a few odd side effects, most notable among them the lighting-up of your shiny, light bulb-esque nose.
You, ah, do have a nose like a light bulb, don't you? No? Well, then, you just received a fatal electric shock.
Sure tasted good, though.
I wish pie was less fattening.
granted, pie is less fattening but only because you are now Garfield the cat and John has decided to take you to the vet because you swallowed something that didn't agree with your tummy, you discover you were alregic to something in your lasagna that will keep you vomiting for days...enjoy your life as king Ralph, I mean Garfeild.
I wish for the smpsons to be made into a live action movie.
Granted and the costs of production come out of your wallet and the movie bombs leaving you in overwhelming debt.
I wish to successfully climb Mt. Everest
Granted, unfortunately you run out of supplies so you end up unable to get down.
I wish I could inject logic directly into a person's brain.
granted but every time you do you loss some of you own logic until you are in need of an injection yourself but no one can help you as only you have the power.
i wish i had few enemies
Quote from: e_voyager on January 21, 2007, 06:09:52 PMi wish i had few enemies
Ah, quality over quantity. Excellent choice.
Bang... and you're dea-no, wait, they just pistol-whipped you while pretending to shoot you. Now you're tied to a chair and undergoing all manner of nasty procedures. You have strange enemies.
I wish I could circumvent the "Fool me once..." rule and just not be fooled at all.
granted, you are now a knowitall a subspecies of human that everyone hates for no apperent reason.
I wish for free money.
Granted. You get $2000 Puerto Rican dollars. Have fun with that exchange rate, now...
I wish I was a robber baron.
Granted, however, due to a strange misunderstanding, you are transmuted to a rubber baron, and bounced out of range.
Have fun, Stretch.
I wish I hadn't slept in quite so long this morning.
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on January 22, 2007, 09:13:29 AMI wish I hadn't slept in quite so long this morning.
Instead, you got no sleep at all - and judging by how you originally slept in, you certainly needed it. By the time you regain full consciousness, you are covered in bruises, are wearing two pairs of pants, both of them on your arms, and have what appear to be toaster burns on your hand. Right on time!
You know what? I wish all the sociopaths were dead. Not my problem. (Yes, excluding me...)
Unwittingly, you have killed the only group of people that were absorbing all the the anti-social energies in the world, thus causing all of that anti-socialness to fall on the one person you decided to spare: yourself.
I wish I could move in all dimensions. Even the theoretical ones.
granted but the power is not fully under you control so you get lost quite often just stepping out side of you house. on the down side( yes i know you thought that was the down side) many of the dimensions are hazardous to all forms of life especially yours.
i wish that i could control my power of literal translation better. ( i can't believe i copied beetle juice)
Granted, its the power is not fully under your control.
I wish for a copy of Amber's script for the next few strips.
Quote from: Cogidubnus on January 21, 2007, 10:53:09 PM
Granted. You get $2000 Puerto Rican dollars. Have fun with that exchange rate, now...
If I recall corectly The prices in Peurto Rico were close to 300% higher than the averege cost of goods and services in Florida, but if I recall correctly they still use American money, and because I live in Las Vegas the cost of living is lower, so thank you for the generous donation.
Granted.
Unfortunately, the FBI have blacked out large segments of it. What you can read says something like "At.... the ..... third..... stroke ..... the ..... time ...... will ..............be...... three ..... seventeen ..... precisely."
Good luck figuring out the rest of it.
I wish I wasn't still awake.
Granted you are now in a coma.
I wish I could party all day long without any negative side-effects.
granted, you party all day, however your desire to paty all night is what's affecting you.
I wish I was a famous person.
Granted, you are now assaulted by the paparazzi at every turn, even in your bath room.
I wish I could find a decent female date who isn't dating/seeing/married to anyone else.
granted, enjoy your corpse bride.
I wish for a sculpture to be made out of boogers and for critics to desire the act of licking it.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on January 23, 2007, 03:49:14 PMI wish for a sculpture to be made out of boogers and for critics to desire the act of licking it.
Too bad for them, your sculpture is more heavily guarded than the Mona Lisa, and they cannot get past. Then they realize - those boogers had to come from
someone's nose. Although there is no really compelling evidence, for want of any better ideas, they decide it must have been yours.
Licking time. :kruger
I wish someone would make a
good Friday the 13th movie.
It comes out and Jason and the teens have a lovey tea party and go rollerblading...And have alot fun! And Jason and his mom patch things up and everyone is so happy
I wish I had powers to look into other worlds with a indestucable wrist watch like device and it wont mess up space and time contuinem as we know it as I pass by them or die
Granted. Unfortunately, being indestucable, it gets stuck to anything and everything. Including the side of that semi headed for the far coast of the states, for shipping overseas....
... have a nice trip... :-)
I wish I could get the forum code updated.
(Don't we all. I know i'm gonna get smited for this since no one wants to corrupt that wish but in the intrest of continuing the game...)
Granted and now you are given more responsibilities as administrator which everyone will keep bugging you about and you become a slave to your work.
I wish you would ignore me. :dndist
Gran.... now where'd he go?
I wish I'd gone to cuddle my wife. *leaves*
Quote from: Zedd on January 23, 2007, 05:14:07 PM
It comes out and Jason and the teens have a lovey tea party and go rollerblading...And have alot fun! And Jason and his mom patch things up and everyone is so happy
I would totally watch that. :]
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on January 23, 2007, 06:17:02 PMI wish I'd gone to cuddle my wife. *leaves*
Granted. Good times were ahead. Of course, having had gone, you are now back with none of the actual cuddling experience.
I wish Superfriends had kept going (It was just starting to get good. Seriously.).
granted, however the show just got super lame and everyone blames you for the new Anime character design, the show is over buget and the the plots all jump the shark.
I wish I could speak 20 different languages other than and including english.
Granted. But you have no control over which of the 20 languages you speak at what time. Every other word you say is in a different dialect making you fluent in gibberish.
I wish I could cook.
Granted. You taste like pastrami.
I wish the karma system would go back to normal.
Granted, but it needed a bit of energy to help it and now the Karma system goes agaist you and only you. :mwaha
I wish that i had perfect control over computers/robots.
granted but now you've become one and DGE has perfect control over you Muh ha ha
i wish i had more influence in this world
granted, you have more influence in this world than than the rings of saturn.
I wish for all the knowledge of god the universe and everything, and not to be a huge floatin brain or big headed neutron boy.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on January 24, 2007, 07:17:22 PMI wish for all the knowledge of god the universe and everything, and not to be a huge floatin brain or big headed neutron boy.
Nope. Just a broken shell of a human being with all the knowledge in the universe and not remotely near enough power to process it.
Hm... deja vu. Anyway, I wish for a shiny new bike that won't try to hurt, maim or kill anybody.
granted, you are now repairman man and must repair the bycycles of supermen everywhere... bonus points if you catch the refrence, It is a bit obscure.
I wish I knew how to play a guitar.
Granted. But the only song you know how to play is "John Jacob Jinklehiemer Smith." Soon, a mob forms in the nearby migraine research clinic, and comes to beat you to death with your own guitar.
I wish I knew who the news hacker was.
Granted but you only see his face, not a name.
I wish some video games were real.
Granted, you are eaten by pac-man.
I wish was in a more populated section of the country.
Granted. Your home area is now the most mosquito-laden part of the country.
I wish for a miracle to happen in my Communications class, or for the paper I'll have to do for Ethnic Studies.
Granted.
In the middle of your communications class, a pillar of fire descends from the heavens and consumes your desk. It leaves nothing but the charred husk of what formerly held your books, it's remains dusting the floor, and an angelic choir singing hymns in the sudden silence; a hand appears from nowhere and writes the answers to your next test on the wall, but the characters are in an ancient and obscure language that only a prophet could interpret. A fishtank appears miraculously from the ashes of your desk, and the waters inside part to reveal a golden, .5mm liquid-tip pen. It explodes and stains your shirt. The hand and angels leave, and the miracle ends as quickly as it happened.
I wish I owned Barbados.
Granted... wrong barbados!!! >:3
I wish that everyone was furry... weather they want to or not.
granted, the 10% percent of the world poulation that didn't die in agony durring the transformation process now seek your blood...unfortunately like everyone else your miscles have atrified and you are incapable of movement.
I wish for a hamburger, a good hamburger that isn't made from cloned beef, spoiled, or plastic.
Granted. You now have a hamburger made of soylent green.
I wish I'd already left for home.
granted but since you already left you not have to web post on your phone as your computers has be hijacked by several digital life forms as a living space. oh and they can't be deleted.
i wish i could see a full rant bye either Widly or Des-lee form the audience.
Granted. You can see a full rant by either Wildy, or Destania, from the audience. Unfortunately, since both of them are ranting at you, full bore, at the same time, you can't make head nor tails of what they're saying.
You get the gist, however - you are doomed to spend the rest of your days attempting to communicate with people who aren't interested in attempting to listen to you. And they'll be right there making your life miserable, with the best of them.
I wish I didn't have to clean up after incompetent morons, and could instead just hang about here on the forum.
Granted, but it's an execution sort of hanging.
I wish I knew the true meaning of corrupt-a-wishmas (it's not just about miswrapped presents of ill fortune, you know)
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on January 25, 2007, 05:59:54 PM
Granted. You can see a full rant by either Wildy, or Destania, from the audience.
well by Des-lee i meant Desiree Lee. Destania would be Des ti'fiona or maybe Des-Ti`. very good corruption bye the way.
anyway. Granted but the answer only brings you sorry and miss fortune.
i wish my sister would get over you instant crushes . i mean come it's getting down right scary.
Granted, she is now over the crush, but she already married him.
I wish I could understand every language known to man!
Quote from: Valynth on January 26, 2007, 02:32:13 AMI wish I could understand every language known to man!
Confuse your friends! Confuse foreigners! Bring order to the UN! Well, you tried, at least. Winding down with a swim, you somehow happen across a few whales doing their singing-
The Odyssey's-worth-of-information-in-one-song thing to each other.
Now, man isn't exactly fluent in this particular language, but we do know enough for it to fall under the terms of your wish. You understand every word, or close to it - but it's too much to process. No, you don't become a drooling heap, as more than one of your overinformed predecessors in this topic have, but you do have something resembling a seizure and generally lose your motor functions. Not a good thing, out there in the water...
I wish they'd finish with the Gargoyles DVD set.
Granted, but you never see it.
Also, I believe they did finish it, but see above corruption.
I wish I could dodge a point-blank shotgun blast.
Granted. You dodge the point-blank shotgun blast, only to step directly in front of a speeding semi as it jumps the curb and slams into a nearby bank with you on its' grill.
I wish I could permanently cure writer's block.
Granted, unfortunately you can't stop writing.
I wish I had a working, useable, and practical hoverboard.
Granted. The batteries are flat, and they don't bring out that model of battery for, oh, another 30 years.
I wish I could stop staying up all night.
Granted. You contract are sleeping sickness, and never spend another moment conscious until you die of old age.
(Man, it was hard not to do a Viagra joke!)
I wish I had the strength of the Hulk, with none of the side effects.
Granted. Unfortunately, you can't turn it off. Shaving becomes tricky, since the handle of the razor tends to break off accidentally, and if it doesn't, you can easily slice your face to shreds... As does opening doors, since they have a disturbing habit of breaking off the hinges when you pull. Likewise car doors, keyboards, etc.
In fact, you're pretty much stuck with being unable to do anything with your fabulous new strength. Except, possibly, get a job as a car crusher....
I wish a had a car I could ask you to compact for me...
Granted. You have a very dependable Toyota. Unfortunately, he compacts it for you.
I wish I was more diplomatic.
Granted. However, taken into account... well, let's say there will never be trouble again. And you'll be the one to pay for the peace.
I wish that some people were more capable of reading between the lines here on this forum.
granted, you are now the great Capt. Jack Sparrow unfortunately people misinterpret your meaning and think you are an @$$hole, your accent is fake, you are the most disgusting man alive, and you are suggesting everyone else is a moron using lines like "you smell funny". thankfully no one will have to listen to your overly intellectual boasts again because you are eaten by a Kracken, and no one likes you enough to bring you back.
I wish for an apple pie...and not the one that some one has stuck their Johnson in, or anything related like it having a "mouse toy" in it if you catch my meaning. in fact avoid all american pie refrences if possible.
Granted. It's made out of ground apples, though according to a recipe that asked for Red Delicious instead.
Note: "ground apples" == "pomme-de-terres" == potatoes. Enjoy your pie. Especially the syrup on the top.
I wish I'd been awake earlier.
Granted. You are now cursed to awake earlier and earlier, until you begin to 'awake backwards', literally losing the little sleep that you had in the past, until it's like you never had any sleep, ever.
I wish that Middle English was still proper to use.
granted, unfortuantely no body knows what middle english is except you and the french, so everyone else in the world being confused simply just thinks your from france.
I wish for MST3k to return to television.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on January 27, 2007, 02:21:23 PMI wish for MST3k to return to television.
And they're just as hilarious as ever! ...until some long-forgotten heir of the guy who made that one movie they just made fun of sues them. Never mind the laws protecting parody and such things - this man's legacy has been tarnished!
It doesn't last half a season. Shame, I was looking forward to them nailing
2001: A Space Odyssey.
I wish the big, mean corporations would listen to the little guy.
granted, but the little guy named Bob was secretly the devil reborn, and now we have a literal hell on earth (not much worse from everyday life though)
I wish I was a vampire
Granted. Unfortunately, your wish is granted under the noon-day sun.
Now.. where did I put that SPF3000+?
I wish I had gone to bed...
granted but your soul was stolen by me and integrated into a laptop by manta. enjoy being the ghost in the machine Baw ha ha
man i wish i had been quicker to corrupt the wishes.
Granted. As a result, the other equally marvelous corrupters (corruptors?) of wishes are very upset because their corruptions. They're very sad, and as a result, they kill you.
Going the Nightwish route, I wish I had an angel...
Granted, however, due to a typo, you actually have an angle. It's obtuse.
I wish I could get the code for the forum finished up. (hey, pre-corrupted wishes. Who knew? :-)
granted, however there was a fatal mistake and now everyone except the mods see's a white flowing background with lit'l cute triangles and diamonds...hmm says one industrious forumite who shall remain nameless, let's see what damage we can do before the mods catch on...and then twenty six others get the Idea, and before you know it the site has been hacked by everyone except me, and within ten minutes your hard work was ruined.
I wish I could remember how to do XHTML flawlessly and without errors.
Granted but not XHTML is outlawed and striped form the web.
i wish it was light out side.
Granted. It randomly becomes pitch-black night in Tokyo. The lighthouse employees speed over to the lighthouses as quickly as possible, but at least ten fishing boats crash. Way to go.
I wish my cold was gone.
granted, you stick hydrogen peroxide in your ears and are mysteriously cured within 24hrs ...unfortunately you now have to go back to work and you hate your job.
I wish for a knowledge of holistic medicines that work.
granted but you only know the ones that are useless because the plants have gone extinct.
I wish i could avoid destroying everyone around me when i slip into battle rage..
Quote from: e_voyager on January 28, 2007, 09:15:42 PMI wish i could avoid destroying everyone around me when i slip into battle rage..
Granted. Now you just don't destroy anyone. This, incidentally, makes you very easy to destroy.
I wish AOL would provide me with customer support.
granted, however you are more likely to get better help from Microsoft's x-box division.
I wish for an xbox 360 with the 20 gigabyte hard drive
Granted. But due to a factory mistake it is sealed in a twelve-ton block of concrete.
I wish I had more experience playing an RPG, rather than running one.
grand the the hard drive is fragged with a systems killing virus that spread to your network knocking you off line as it kills all you hard wear.
granted but the experience is all bad as you lead that you need infinte lives in any rpg to make it pas lever one and after that the are not enough.
i wish i knew what yattaro was think when he that name of his.
granted, he was thinking the same thing I am. lots of luck figuring it out my friend.
I wish to be lord of the dance.
Granted, though you are only the lord of the rain dances and you'll end up completely flooding any place that you dance in.
I wish I was a genius.
granted you are not a savant in the art of anime trivia
i wish that i understood why people would say i was evil before i had a chance to prove myself.
Granted, you learn the truth behind this, but you are slain by a paladin shortly afterwards due to said observations by populace.
I wish Rush would get their new album out earlier. (I'm so excited! :eager)
k. it sux because it was produced about as well as Vapor Trails. :<
I wish I could smite people.
Granted, unfortunately it requires you to be a priest. The celibate kind.
I wish I could make bananas ripen at will.
granted. now, if you could only find the right guy named will.
I wish for a time paradox involving a pair of time socks at the docks.
Granted, but all it does is start this whole thread all over, or it would but the server is sitting on a dock somewhere in Japan, and the socks got lost in the dryer.
I wish I could could create quantum singularities.
granted, however your inability to concentrate whil creating said singularities causes a mega super ultra black hole to be created...all of the universe is swallowed and everyone blames you.
I wish fo invader zim to return with better diolouge and less stupidity,
Granted however nobody watches it. :B
I wish I never posted in this thread. :B
granted but not a younger sibling has hijacked you account and posted in this thread under your name.
i wish i could repair biological malfunctions and damage.
Granted, but now the entire medical community is out for your head.
I wish the Confederacy won the Civil War.
Fine, but the Confederacy divides by zero.
Oh SHI-
I wish I was a Hyperfur.
(from bad to worse in minutes)
Gra....
Nuts. You're not standing still long enough for your wish to be granted.
I wish I could figure out what my wife wanted me to do, when she wanted me to do it.
Congradulations! You've been granted knowledge that not even God Himself has! Too bad it's too much for your mortal brain to comprehend, and so your head goes asplode.
I wish I had the most useful item in the universe.
Quote from: RyudoLee on February 05, 2007, 05:17:06 PMI wish I had the most useful item in the universe.
As it turns out, the most useful item in the universe is a wish. Your wish is self-fulfilling, and therefore moot.
I wish I knew just what was going on in
Fall Out. (Or
Things Change. They were both weird.)
granted but the answers warp you fragile little mind.
i wish i knew why humans were so in love with dragons of every gender.
Granted, you now know some of the most perverse thoughts in the universe.
I wish I could lose one of my many doomsday weapons and still be feared.
granted you are not professor Hubert Fonzworth. look out your 20 (+1000) year old uncle is mess with your electromatic atomic denotation again.
i wish that i understood why people see dragons as sexual object. all these thoughts oh well at least i can't be warped.
You are hit with even more perverted thoughts, uncushioned by love. If only due to the occasional reality-transcending habits of dragons mixed with the subject matter, contrary to your statement, you get mindwarped beyond belief.
I wish such people would hold themselves to the same standards of jerkdom as whoever they're talking to when the subject is brought up.
Granted, but the standard is so low that no one can really tell the difference anyway.
I wish for the ability to comprehend all languages.
Granted, you are now a translator in the United Nations, unfortunately you end up becoming so tired that you slurr your words and cause World War 3.
I wish I could create the best video game EVER!
Granted. You create Pong.
I wish I had gone to bed hours ago.
Granted, you never stayed up late enough to post your wish....Who was I talking to again?
I wish people couldn't lie to each other.
granted but not war and violence ate at and all time high due to the destruction's of the little cover stories and lies.
( its almost impossible to warps something that was pre warped beyond the fabric or reality to begin with.)
i wish my hyper bytes would stop locking when when i predict the future of web comics
granted I guess but now your hyper bits are hyper nibbles.
I wish I knew the score for the superbowl a year in advance.
granted but you don't know the teams that played or who got what score.
i wish i could have been more original in corrupting that wish.
granted. however, your ability to corrupt wishes begins to corrupt you.
I wish I could shapeshift into a fox.
Granted, you're a fox. Enjoy that vulpine brain capacity. Don't worry, foxes are clever, I'm sure you'll be able to turn ba- Do you hear hounds?
I wish for a reputable female to english dictionary.
Granted, unfortunately the english used is from the time of the druids.
I wish I had my college degree.
granted. too bad you didn't specify the college.
I wish the hounds from the previous wish were foxes, so they'd understand my plight. oh, and same for anyone else hunting me or wishing me harm.
Granted. They are foxes plushies, so they just sit there. Good luck with the empathy. :>
I actually wish the blackout that happened here lasted longer. Then I could've gone home. :B
Granted, but it has sent your city back to the dark ages.
I wish someone helped me overcome my sense of hopelessness...
Granted you get lots of help from the good doctor ----> (http://data.furaffinity.net/art/thunderstep/1170861923.thunderstep_drreanimator.jpg)
I wish I could go to this years Anthrocon and not miss any of it or get hurt or lost
granted but you find yourself trapped with me as a room mate and lets just say i have form interesting clothing designs. that i want you to model. say you don't mind if i add some strait bar's and a few hooks to you frame do you. spot wield only i promise.
i wish that my clothes designs would be a success.
granted your "clothes designs would be a success" ammong the working class if it wasn't for those wealthy shriners, who insist on wearing them to childrens birthday parties as clowns.
i wish to ride a dragon...and none of the ones with spikes on their back.
granted. you are not aboard a dragon lynch who is draining you life force with every beat of it's wings. enjoy you trip.
(Yeah i can sell my work at clown collage. not if only more customers would let me wield on proper support instead of roughing it. as well.)
i wish more customers would allow me to enhance there frames for my designs
Granted, the amount of customers that let you enhance their frames went from 5% to 50%. Unfortunately, you only have 10% of your original customers, now you're right back where you started. ...Only with less income.
I wish Xze wasn't grounded for at least (my) tomorrow. :<
Granted, but now YOU'RE grounded!
I wish I had the perfect legal money-making scheme.
granted it's called a job and now you have three. enjoy.
i wish for burner wave to go infinite ammo without switches what robot i am.
Granted, but it causes a major overload which causes you to go asplode.
I wish I had the perfect girlfriend.
Granted. You can inflate her later.
I wish I'd been more able to finish things at work.
granted but you find yourself trapped at your desk until all your work is done. enjoy your new ankle bracelet.
i wish i had clear vision powers.
... how does being trapped at work differ from my usual workday, e? :-)
Granted. You just don't have any retinas. Ewps.
I wish I could get started on some documentation.
( you may have a point and as a robot i have no retinas ore corneas to began with.)
grant you finish your document's and just were you done a and the second workload some in with a 500 page document needed in triplicate bye Monday( that gives you 72 hours right?)
i wish it was easier to make money
Granted. You now have a photocopier.
I wish I had fewer stupid users, and more intelligent ones...
Granted. However, they're just smart enough to make really, really bad errors...
I wish I had a pot of coffee that never ran dry.
granted but though it never runes dry it does grow old and spoiled. in time the pot of coffer becomes toxic and you can no lover drink form it.
i wish i had a better phone network.
Granted. Your phone network is totally free, crystal clear, never drops a call....and connects you with every phone on the planet at the same time if you use it.
I wish I had a nickel for every time I screwed up...
Granted, Unfortunately you never screw up again, and the wish was meaningless.
I wish for a "We Are Marshall" that was more uplifting.
Granted. Unfortunately, it only plays in a theatre on another planet in a different galaxy.
I wish I slept like a normal person.
Granted. Unfortunately, you have to make up for all the sleep you lost. See you in a few months or so!
I wish I had some sweet and sour chicken.
Granted, good luck eating something so sweet it makes pure sugar cry in shame and something so sour it makes War Heads candy taste bitter.
I wish I wasn't burried under about 2 pages of posts in an Rp while I slept.
Granted you are now buried beneath three pages of posts in an Rp while you where awake >:3
I wish to know where those monkeys went.
Granted. Peekaboo!
Of course, knowing this doesn't tell you anything about where they're hiding now. Or what they're doing there. Or which item of yours they're doing it with...
I wish I'd been to sleep somewhat earlier last night...
granted. you got less work done last night and over slept today.
i wish i was surfing the air waves. i could use a vacation.
Granted, you're spending your vacation flipping through radio frequencies.
I wish the morning after the night before was worth the night before the morning after.
This isn't pre-corrupted?
Dammit. Oh, ok. Granted. You just can't remember the night before, and the... uh... I -think- it's female. Anyway, the thing in bed next to you is wearing a paper bag. Over it's head. And you can see the smile around the edges, although it's not exactly pretty...
Let's not mention the strange room with no windows, or the lack of -any- clothing (except someone seems to have loaned you a pair of fishnets and a corset), or the way you don't remember anything of last night, or the strange smell emanating from your bed partner. And you, now. Nor the bitemarks on various parts of your anatomy, some rather sensitive. Nor the lack of a door in this room, either, now you're looking at it....
I wish I wasn't quite so evil sometimes. :-)
Granted you negative karma freezes while you positive karma doubles turning you from 17% good 83% evil to 34% good and 66% evil.
i wish had the power to carry out that wish.
Granted, and by making llearch that much of a good person, you've unbalanced the good/evil ratio of the entire world, therefore sending the world into a mad spin of total chaos and eventually sending us all plummetting to our doom. Thanks a lot.
:tohell
I wish I could really grant these wishes.
Granted, do I even have to say what will go wrong.
I wish anthro's were real.
granted but they irradiate the human species before you get a chance to interact with them by non lethal means.
I wish the world to be filled with... bunnies!
The Bunnies take over the work and make humans their slaves... :mwaha that might not be a bad thing.... ;)
I wish that everyone was in a good mood for at least a day!
Granted, everyne in the entire world is in a good mood for one whole day, Unfortunately the earth was bown up the next day to make room for a new interstellar highway, the only human survivors were doing something involving the number 42...
I wish to witness the death of Pikachu.
Granted, I don't see a way to corrupt that wish.
I wish that Square Enix localizes the original Star Ocean.
granted it is now localized in your backyard you for enter it as you can no survive in space with out a suit on but hey how many people can say that have a micro universe in there back yards right?
i wish that i had a better grasp of what people want.
Granted. But then people become annoyed by your flawless ability to know what they want.
I wish I had wings.
Granted. You now have a perfect set of fly wings. Unfortunately, they're sized for flies, not you, and hence are totally useless. Except for making a buzzing sound, of course.
I wish I'd woken up earlier today.
Granted, but it was more like 1am leaving you with having gotten too few hours of sleep and thus you end up falling back asleep while on the toilet, and then wake up realizing that it's now 9:30am.
I wish for an uncrashable car.
Granted, but it still explodes on you anyway once you hit something. Because while it can't take any damage technically when colliding with something, it can still explode.
I wish I had a fish.
~Keaton the Black Jackal
Granted. It's a trifle old by now - it's been hiding in the vents for a couple of weeks...
Incidentally, Ryudo, I woke up at midday. And went to sleep at 4am. I think your clock is a little out... :-)
I wish I wasn't quite as disorganised...
Granted, you're very well organized now, but because of that, you can't find anything anymore!
I wish I could focus a bit better mentally.
Granted, Your so focused that now you can only do one thing and that is... give hugs Mwhahahahaaha :mwaha
I wish that this wish wasn't corrupted at all.
Granted, nothing happened.
I wish that school wasn't so boring.
Quote from: ninjannihilator on February 21, 2007, 04:57:12 PMI wish that school wasn't so boring.
Your school day becomes an episode of
24. Hey, look, an innocent bystander...
I wish for 1337 AMV-making toolz/skillz (choose applicable).
Granted. Unfortunately, the awesomeness they endow you with renders you unable to ever get within 500 feet of a computer again.
I wish I had my hearse back in top condition again.
Granted, but the first ride you take in it, you end up in the back...
I wish there was something good on tv at any given time of the day.
Granted, just not on the TV you're watching. -Any- TV you're watching. Ever.
In other news, you've developed a really interesting ability to affect the TV programming....
I wish I didn't have to clear up spam that someone else's stupid code allowed onto my servers.
Granted, you're able to hire someone to do it for you. Unfortunately, the workload drives him completely batty and he makes an even worse mess of your server.
I wish I could have x-ray vision.
Granted. It doesn't do much for the data on your disks, though....
I wish I wasn't feeling slightly queasy...
Granted. But now you're congested.
I wish the Hellsing Organization was real.
granted...Alucard wants to make you his bitch.
I wish for a supernintendo.
Granted, but your only game is Mario paint. And you can't find a Nintendo mouse anywhere.
I wish my nipples could shoot lazer beams.
Granted, you are now a femmebot in the style of Austin Powers, but tragically your laser nipples are soon deactivated when the man who bought you decides he doesn't need that feature, and he reprograms you to be his sex slave, your lazers are replaced with techno-organic milk pumps, and your body is retrofitted with that of a 15 year old B. Spears, your new name is Debbie, and you have no desire to do any thing but the one thing you body was made for...singing 90's pop music. You Idolize the Spice Girls, Hillary Duff and Christina Agulera. your new master sees this as a design flaw and within a week you are de-activated when you try to convince him "spice world" was the greatest movie evar!!!!
I wish for a new desktop computer with all the latest software and Microsoft works software.
granted but due to the typical microsoft bugs and poor security the computer dues in just under 30 hours.
i wish the duplicity would come to an end.
Wow. That machine lived a long time - last time I checked, the half-life of an unprotected windows computer on the internet was either 17 minutes or 3 minutes 20 seconds, I can't remember which...
Granted, though, the duplicity has ended. Of course, the only reason it has ended is everyone has ended up killing everyone else for being duplicitous, and the few who were left blamed you, hunted you down, and had an orgy on your tender flesh before expiring, appropriately enough, of a disease caught from your semi-cooked meat.
Ewps.
I wish I had more time to think about things.
Granted, you do have more time to think about things, unfortunately this is because you are in a jail cell awaiting an execution for a crime you didn't commit...and I have worse news for you my friend, while riding the escalator to heaven you decide to spit off of the rail and are violently thrown off... you are now serving as Lust/Drip's cabana boy in hell, and I'm sorry to inform you that no amount of Vaseline is going to ease your suffering.
I wish to apologize to llearch for this horrible fate and wish the next poster better luck in granting his wish.
Granted.
*cough* however, since I'm the next poster, that generates a feedback loop that destroys the universe.
I wish I could be of more help...
Granted you help me out by prereading my webcomics unfortunately you soon realize that this wasn't the best Idea, as you are soon sucked into an alternate reality where you fall victem to the Dues ex Machina, in a world where spelling errors have no meaning, a world where you have no power or control, and you inability to read into my plot twists will torment you. BWA HA HA HA HA HA!
I wish somebody would read "Not Intentionally Obssesive" and leave a comment.
granted however the comments value was negative, it destroyed you mind with negativity and... yeah! >:3
I wish that llearch would become a rock, because rocks are cool by default >:3
Okay...granted...
Llearch is now made of marble. And is about to fall on you.
I wish I had a breath mint.
Granted. It's a garlic/tabasco/cat food-flavored mint.
I wish I had a hammer.
Granted. His name's MC.
I wish I didn't have to sleep at all.
granted you are now a rock who never sleeps but being a rock you have no life either leaving you nothing but time to think
i wish i understood why i incarnate into so many different forms.
Granted because unlike me you still haven't learned the truth about Mother Goose.
I wish to...meet Johnny Depp and force him to do the cartoon voice for Bambi in "Bambi III: when Bambi falls"
Granted, but it completely ruins his career and he takes you down with him.
I wish my head was built with paradox absorbing crumple zones.
Granted your santa clause robot...Hated by many loved by few by force :3
I wish to have money to make or buy a fursuit so I can go to AC maybe to have fun
granted but you make this money by slaving away your time. by the time you can arrived your desire the words. Welcome to McDonald's gives you night mars as you remember what you did you get your fursuit. Enjoy :)
i wish i cold find the orbs i need to advance my sword to the manna sword.
Granted, however you are unsuccessful and your quest fails.
I wish for a peach.
Granted, you now have a picture of Princess Toadstool.
I wish to have an unlimited amount of sticky notes.
Granted. The trail leads completely around the world. Endlessly...
You'll be picking them up for a while.
I wish I wasn't quite so grumpy.
granted, now you are dopey, and all the other dwaves are jelous of your high spirits.
I wish, I wish, with all my heart, to have super powers...that don't include super flatchulence, super urine or anything simmilar.
granted. no lower body powers for you as you now have super nasal discharge powers. on top of that you not get a migraines every time they are triggered but not worries besides being super painful there migraines are special you can share them with whomever you sneezes on. enjoy.
i wish for an end to temptation
Granted, and in the process you create a utopia for all of mankind... which is utterly destroyed with the next few natural disasters.
I wish I could create zombies.
Granted. You start with yourself, but discover that zombies don't have the power any more.
You also discover than you've been buried. In concrete. Under several hundred meters of it, in fact. Not to mention divided up into lots of little pieces, each in it's own little coffin. Perhaps you annoyed someone? You'll never know...
I wish I wasn't quite so disappointed in humanity.
Granted, you now have complete and total faith in people like George W. Bush
I wish I could have a solid gold violin, even if it does weigh a lot and sound crummy.
Granted, after making a deal with the devil the violin is yours, it only cost you your hands, sadly you learn you were dooped when you learn the violin was plated with fool's gold.
I wish for Lost in space to get a movie sequal.
Granted...but then the Robinson family gets assimilated by the Borg...or the Aparoids.
I wish Gareeku had been able to meet Fa'lina...this wish is for you, pal.
Granted, now we're all doomed. Gareeku's happy though.
I wish I could go on the stereotype 'American goes to Europe' vacation and have all my plans be turned upside down while countless awkward situations occur both on account of me being unaccustomed to the languages and the... well, customs.
Granted. You're in a sitcom with such low ratings that you somehow have a -$40.00 salary per episode.
I wish that cramps were nonexistent, but pregnancy wasn't.
granted but morning sickness is much worse and the diet is more demanding.
i wish that i was not so inclined to rebuild myself every time i felt the need for a change.
Granted, but after after replacing several parts, you end up looking like a walking junk yard.
I wish I could know the secret to happiness and never forget it.
Granted, unfortunately you can not have another thought ever again.
I wish I had a clone of myself.
Granted, the clone ties you up and hides you in the basement. He then goes about bringing an end to the world as we know it, being sure to prominently display that you are responsible for everything. He then dimensionally travels to an alternate universe and lives like a king, leaving you to face the survivors.
I wish I had a cute cuddly fox as a pet.
Granted...however the fox was actually a Kitsune, or fox demon, that got tired of being your pet and bit your hand off.
I wish some people would join in on my RP Idea...
Granted, but they all leave from disinterest.
I wish I knew how to speak and write in Japanese without losing the ability to speak and write English.
Granted, the whole world now speaks French and your in jail.
I wish that there where victory dances in ut2004 :<
Granted, unfortunately it ends with you computer(or whatever system) displaying the blue screen of death. Programers are still wondering why because they changed the color to magenta years ago.
I wish I could have my cake and eat it too.
Granted. It's an arsenic-frosted chocolate cake with asbestos sprinkles.
I wish I could save recreational reading from its bleak future.
Granted, but you only hold off that bleak future for a limited amount of time, and it will have to be saved again and again in that fashion for pretty much forever. You DO have a longevity vacciene, don't you?
I wish to be able to display, once and for all, to the entire world, the true meaning of life, in a form that's globally acceptable.
Granted,Its been displayed but not by you...I killed you with a brick and some twine onto your front door and the meaning of knowlage was dispalyed in my bird cage lining :)
I wish I had the ablity to change my gender and shape at will
Granted, but it only works once, and unfortunately you're reading an article about the mating habits of aardvarks when it does.
I wish I had a magic snowplow that would clear my snow and make snow castles from them.
granted, but it only works once, and unfotunately you are trapped in a temporal loop when it does.
I wish I was the king of something.
Granted, but it's neighbors of Somewhere and Anything wage war on it and eventually remove you from your position as king.
I wish lawyers could not lie.
Granted, the entire American economy and government collapse because of your wish, and because everyone takes the literal meaning of laws on the books, the state laws must be enforced litterally so that even the Dumb laws are followed.
I wish for a chocolate cake with coconut springles and strawberry frosting
Granted but before it is baked you are tossed into it. enjoy as you will be first to know when the cake done and ready to be filled... you are fine and suffocation proof right?
i wish i could change the world without taking control of it or destroying it.
Quote from: e_voyager on March 03, 2007, 09:21:07 PM
i wish i could change the world without taking control of it or destroying it.
Granted. Real shame you never specified
how. Enjoy life as a Mow... chitter-mrr.
I wish for a DVD set of the 70s Spider-Man show.
Granted, but all the disks have one tiny scratch that keeps them from ever being played.
I wish I could travel across the dimensions without my body changing from its human form.
granted but you fist stop is a dimension in which humans can't survive . while you die the inhabitance of that demension learn much form dissecting your body and you are dubbed a hero.
i wish i had less gruesome ways to corrupt wishes at the moment.
Granted, however, you are thrown out of the thread soon afterwards with the threadkeep yelling "We only serve quality corruptions here!"
I wish I could battle zombies with an arsenal of extremely powerful weapons.
granted, you are Jack before he became Jack the wraith demon, being housed in a secret military base has the added bonus of granting access to an arsenal of extremely powerful weapons... and as an added bonus you are now an extra in David Hopkins Rework the dead series.
I wish for the ability to kill Mikelo and make it look like an accident.
Granted, unfortunately looks only go so far in court.
I wish I could dance without looking like a fool.
Granted, but the only dance you know how to do is zombie dance from Thriller.
I wish I could play the guitar really well.
Granted, however it only works on the Guitar Hero controller-guitar.
I wish I had a Paris gun.(no, it isn't French, look it up)
Granted. You can only shoot Paris Hilton with it.
So it's not a complete loss...
I wish I was more able to get things done of a workday...
Granted, you now have a 16 hour work day, and an 80 hour work week, sorry, no overtime for you. :P
I wish I could no longer get sick.
granted. as a side effect, diseases tend to accumulate in you since they never affect you and your immune system ignores them. five years down the road, you are killed and burned to prevent a second series of global pandemics involving screwball strains of already deadly diseases.
I wish that domesticated red foxes existed and I could get one.
Granted, but your fox bites you and tests positive for rabies.
I wish that there were no extremists.
okay. everyone's the same racist sexist overzelous religion-spouting fear monger type of person. since they are no longer the outliers, it's not extremist anymore. oh, and my fox bites you as revenge for giving him and me rabies.
I wish I had the secret to curing all the major diseases in humans.
Granted, but the secret is akin to Cthulhu and so you go completely and utterly insane.
I wish I would've taken the blue pill...
Granted. Now you've taken both pills, and have joined the group of the Camel and the Bat.
Welcome to Sysadmining. You'll want to recover. You'll beg to recover. You may even reach enlightenment, and teach others to recover.
I wouldn't lay my bets, were I you.
I wish I'd been a little nicer to Ryudo, since he's a nice person
Granted, but you're still on my smite list anyway so nya. :P
I wish I were more charismatic.
granted. you are now a bit TOO charismatic, and certain underground agencies are currently engaged in a secret war to gain your support, and each is determined to "get that ryudolee or make sure no one does". whoever wins, you loose.
I wish I could find the secret to enlightenment so I wasn't insane.
Granted, however you sell all your worldly possesions to me for a nickel so that you might release yourself from the wants of the world and achieve Nirvanna.
I wish I didn't move so fast.
granted you now have the speed of a snail.
i wish i could run a mile in 3 minutes.
granted, however as the flash, the speed is the best you can manage after losing your powers.
I wish for a bazooka.
Granted, you now have a piece of Bazooka Joe bubble gum. Enjoy!
I wish I could relive my life knowing everything that I know now so that I can fix all my past mistakes.
Granted, unfortunately you end up making even more mistakes.
I wish I could gain some muscle mass.
granted. you gain so much you cannot breath, and you asphyxiate. and no one cares enough to give you CPR. game ovah.
I wish I could ascend to Supreme Overlord
granted you are not Supreme Overlord of the insignificent horde composed of 4 members. a snail and ant and a sloth all less then 1 meter high and yourself. good luck during the war games.
i wish that i had a non Rp working robotizer belt with the specks to turn me into working models of my favorite bots
Granted, but you can never turn human ever again and then you are ostracized by the rest of humanity for being an abomination.
I wish I had artistic talent on par with Amber.
Granted, unfortunately you also have her work schedule.
I wish I had a mech suit designed to let me and only me pilot it.
Granted. Your keys are locked inside.
I wish I'd gone to bed hours ago.
Granted. You had a nighmare and woke up fifteen minutes after going to sleep.
I wish I wasn't so hungry from the smell of garlic... (Birthday dinners rule.)
Granted, you are now a vampire.
I wish I had a Wii, a millon dollars, and a supermodel girlfriend.
Granted, but the Wii doesn't have a controller and you spend the million dollars just to keep your girlfriend for a month. She dumps you as soon as you run out of money.
I wish all the people using illegal drugs were in jail.
Granted, but all the people who abuse legal drugs are still free to roam the streets.
I wish I could come up with some completely original and entertaining ideas for a sitcom.
granted, you develop a live action serial version of "12oz mouse" a completely Original and entertaining sitcom that is based off of a formerly independent cartoon...later you learn that you aren't the first person to make a live action sitcom based off a cartoon, and are completely devistated when you realize that you were so nonconformist you were a conformist about what defines an independent sitcom.
I wish for a list.
You now have a list of everyone in the world over the age of 2. I hope you have a BIG filecabinet.
I wish I had the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away.
With Mind Bullets.
Granted, however you are now called nasty man and live in the mucky muck.
I wish I didn't listen to Tenacious D so much
Granted. Now you listen to Britney Spears too much.
I wish I had a pet Arachspearian.
granted now you listed to Korn instead... i'm not sure if that's a step up or a step down.
granted to you wake up in a spider silk cocoon with is quoting Macbeth to you.
i wish that i had trained with the turtle hermit for a few years.
Granted, but instead of training you to fight, he trains you in how to be a dirty old man.
I wish I could print legal tender that's actually legal.
you can print legal tender that is legal however the illegal means by which you got the ability is why you are in a jail cell.
I wish I could color my artwork faster than or as fast as I can draw.
Granted. You used Sharpie markers and the colors clash horribly. Starting to wish you were a bit neater, huh?
I wish I had a tail.
granted, however you didn't specify it to be on you! so here, have this severed werewolf tail. By the way, he's looking for that and he's very mad I took his tail.
I wish I had werewolf insurance
Granted. You become a werewolf and are given a permanent form of insurance that you will forever be a werewolf.
I wish I was a foxgirl.
granted you now have werewolf brand life insurance and it pays double if you expire for silver blades or vampire attack.
granted but you and a pet for someone so horrible that even i can't describe them here.
i wish i had a nice warm tub of oil to soak int. preferably about 1000. degrees.
Granted. However, right before you get in, you become human. Thus, you are boiled alive.
I wish I was a foxgirl, with a different corruption than the last time.
granted you are not a fox grill on display in a zoo habitat. you life is not hares but it is lonely ans not overly pleasant either.
reappears in a drop of purple light. I wish people would stop thinking instants death for me. i am not that easy to get rid of.
Taken at your word, you do not die this day. That would've been tricky, anyway, as you're still dead. Just saying "reappears in a drop of purple light." isn't going to change that. Grammar, man!
I wish I had a high-ranking position at Buena Vista.
Granted, but they get taken over by Fox and so now you have to spend the rest of your career talking up everything that the president did.
I wish I could think of more instant deaths for e_voyager. :P
Granted. He doesn't like any of them, though. And they're not really permanent, either. Perhaps you need some more practice?
I wish I could concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing.
Granted, but now you can't concentrate on what you want to be doing.
I wish stupid people would wear signs.
Granted, howver Bill engvall sues you under the united ctates internet copryght law for stealing his comedy sketches..."here's your sign"
I wish accept and except didn't sound the same.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on March 12, 2007, 01:14:26 PMI wish accept and except didn't sound the same.
Granted. Now 'accept' sounds like 'deny' and 'except' sounds like 'include'.
I wish the gargoyles from
Gargoyles were real.
granted but they and not all nice and good and on top of that to balance the universe their enemies become real as well. look out here come jackal. ouch that'll leave a mark.
beams back in after 50 deaths. I wish people would stop treating me like ran (http://www.bobandgeorge.com/Subcomics/Cataclysm/EpisodeTwo.html) oops i forgot the movie is pg 13 for language and violence.
granted...tell you what, stand still and I'll shoot you just once okay.
I wish for the ozone layer to be restored and for all unnateral greenhouse gasses to be expunged from the planet earth. and without destroying all life, human life, furry life, or things like that.
granted unfortunately this takes a lot of energy and and since it was your wish you have to pay. about 40 years of your life should do it. enjoy the refreshed earth. at least until humanity's destroyer it again
i wish i could temporarily break out of this balance rut. i mean that really was a good wish.
Granted. Sure you can get out of that balance rut, but then you end up falling into Kain's predicament and thus the world rots around you. Thanks a lot.
I wish I had more obscure references to use in my wishes.
granted you now have access to my 90 gigabytes worth of anime and anime trivia.
ah able so predictable... wait what? i wish i knew what happen to me?
Granted, you died (again).
I wish I had a fast and easy way to sort through those 90 gigs of anime and anime trivia.
granted, You-tube is now using you as their digital server. Have fun as an outdated box of microchips and Diodes...your about to be replaced now that Google owns you.
I wish for a simpsons movie in 3d to come into theaters
Granted. Unfortunately, it's in really bad command-and-conquer rendering. The editing staff is sacked.
I wish that the timing belts on my car were immune to damage and/or slipping. Most specifically, the one on my alternator.
Granted, but now you're having fuel and brake line problems.
I wish I had a power supply that I could plug my computer into that never surges, never breaks down, and never runs out of power.
granted you not have a piece of a white hot dwarf star. it is only 2 inches in diameter but it is so hot and radioactive that it's heat melts everything you try to contain it with. but do worry it's fairly light as it only weight in at 40 solar masses.
i wish it easier to awaken the power within my self in the real world that i suppress in the net world.
granted, you are now a gerbil with nearly human like strength.
I wish for a robot to do all my chores, and that it would never Violate Azmov's three laws nor turn against me in any way.
Granted, but it witnesses the love between two people. It's unable to process the emotion, suffers an overload, and it's head explodes. You can cover the repair bill, right?
I wish I could have a dark matter cannon.
Granted. It's a 18th century black powder cannon, painted black.
With broken iron banding.
I wish I didn't have stupid users.
Granted, now you have no users at all.
I wish I had a perfect firewall.
Granted. It's not connected to anything, not even by sneaker-net.
I wish I had the enthusiasm to concentrate on what needed doing...
Granted, but now you end up neglecting what you want to be doing.
I wish I could have omniscience.
Granted. You forget why you wanted it.
I wish I was a little less enthusiastic about coming up with ideas to corrupt wishes...
granted you have now but shot by Marvin with the pov gun and no longer get enthusiastic about anything.
beware my wrath for i and E's hamster! wait that doesn't sound right... I was it was a back in the body PBH build for me.
Granted, but it's old and worn out by now.
I wish e_voyager had better typing skills.
granted, however you hnow have the typing skills of a gerbil.
I wish for a snickers bar.
Granted, but it's stale and hard as a rock.
I wish I could paint a million dollar masterpiece and actually sell it for a million dollars.
granted, you spent a million dollars, on supplies to create your masterpiece including a 33x12 inch gold brick that is three inches thick, which you used as a canvas...if only you had known the price of had gone up 500% during the time you were cutting and pasting hundred dollar bills into a mosaic of the face of Ben Franklin on a hundred dollar bill you wouldn't have had to file for bankruptcy, and you wouldn't be homeless....and If anyone uses this Idea to make a multi-billion dollar art piece I want 1% of the proffits.
I wish I legitimately owned a Million dollars.
Granted, You get millions of dollar bills yet the downside the IRS wants their fair share about 50% because they say you cant be richer than them.
I wish there was a cure for Multiple sclerosis
Granted. Unfortunately, it's being locked in a machine-iron coffin while 1000 souls a day are sacrificed to keep you alive.
I wish I had something good to eat, that is neither spoiled nor rotten.
Granted, but it's so small a morsel and was so expensive that you suffer the buyer's (and eater's) remorse soon after ingesting it.
I wish I had the resources, knowhow, manpower, and want (for lack of a better term for 'opposite of being lazy') to build, maintain, repair and keep up a 9000 node beowulf cluster, comprised of really good machines, indefinitely, and then actually build it.
Oh, so granted. Unfortunately they run using the windows-based system. *flees into the distance, laughing at your despair*
I wish I had a spear that dripped blood.
Oooo, Cogi, you evil evil sod. *bwahahahahahahaha*
Granted. Unfortunately, you're stuck in a sealed room, and there's enough blood dripping off the end of the spear that you're up to your neck.
And sinking.
I wish I could find that youtube that I was watching the other week. Which they appear to have taken offline, which is a real pity, because it was amazing...
granted but not you are tracked down and charged with copyright infringement
i wish that i had been able to spend more time traveling voyaging.
Granted you are now an American soldier in Iraq, see the world...meet the terrorists up close and personal.
I wish for a atomic marshmallow launcher.
Granted, but you accidentally eat one of your radioactive marshmallows and die of radiation poisoning.
I wish I had a more powerful PowerPC Mac. :paranoid
Granted, you now own a WindowsPC powered by an I-pod...you made it yourself using duct tape.
I wish for people to notice I've updated Abel's friend
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on March 17, 2007, 03:18:56 PMI wish for people to notice I've updated Abel's friend
Granted. Between their noticing and actually getting there, however, your account is taken over by a troll who replaces Abel's Friend with pr0n, and lots of it. Your innocence is quickly proven, thankfully, but your reputation never does quite recover.
I wish Adam West's career would be revitalized. (And yes, he can actually act.)
granted, but since he is already revitalized his career by working for Mad Magazine, and as a Voice Actor and he has attained a noteriaty rivaling William Shatners with half as much work. your wish is pushed to the wayside.
I wish I hadn't lost my mothers engagement ring 3 years ago.
Granted. You lose her wedding ring.
I wish that I lived 12 time zones away.
Granted, for you, the current time is... tomorrow.
I wish they would stop making stupid comedies.
Granted, No comedys are now smart..so smart not even adverage people get them. So your left bored to death with a throat full of gummi bears.
I wish anime chanels where free and on basic cable or dish!
granted but not basic on either dish or cable if 5 times more expensive :(
i wish that i was a member of the fighting dreamers.
Granted, but they disband five minutes after you join.
I wish I had a perfect way to boost and secure my wireless connection.
Granted. It's a length of cat5 cable.
I wish I had a better plan for what to do today.
granted admits the plan is only better because it is concrete. the plan is not to be used as a laundry box for a family of ferret wrestlers.
i wish others understood what i meant when i said fighting dreamers.
Granted. It becomes a mainstream term and pretty soon, no-one can ever trace it back to you. Curses.
I wish the breaks in between episodes of House were shorter than three weeks.
Granted, but with shorter breaks, people get all ADD about it and it's quickly pulled one episode before the finale.
I wish I had the ability to swap bodies with any human being on earth and to swap back, at will.
granted you are now captain Ginyu and you in the process of swapping for a stronger body 'look of it's a frog!!!' too later you are now captain Ginyu the frog
i wish i had a guide to the Galaxy
Granted, however there is little information (at most 3 words) in each entry.
I wish I had a legally obtained serial number for Lugaru (http://wolfire.com/lugaru.html) for Windows.
granted, however you now have obtained your copy of Lugaru from Japan...all the instructions are in Cantonese, and the disk you found at your neighbors garge sale is horribly scratched.
I wish for a goat cheese pizza with pepperoni salami and a 2 liter bottle of soda pop.
granted you now have a week old goat chess pizza with swamp water soda. enjoy.
i wish i had a pet bear to sick on Rock man.
Granted, you now have a bear that only eats rocks.
I wish I had a Wii
granted, but you soon realize trading your Playstation3 to get one was a bad investment.
I wish people realized racecar spelled backwards is racecar.
Granted, but as an unfortunate sideeffect, they start doing everything backwards, including spelling and syntax. Zeotrope, counterspin, counterpin, counterspin...
I wish my wireless connection didn't suck as much as it does. :<
granted; it now blows :mwaha
I wish... I wish my laptop had a Core Duo instead of a Core Solo. :rolleyes
Granted, but now it's obsolete what with the new quad cores... but those will be out of date in a few months too.
I wish I had the time and resources to stay on the cutting edge of technology.
Granted,You get the repeated wounds of being stabbed by swords carried by the hordes of many people in life...Ohh its gonna take awhile to get the blood and guts get out your rug man
I wish I had money by the truckloads so I can buy what I really need in life
Granted, you now have truckloads of pennies to count out for the rest of your life when you want to buy something. Until the day that it's all dumped on you and crushes you.
I wish I had a better religion...
Granted. You now know the Truth, but when you try to tell people about it, they don't believe you and eventually kill you.
I wish I had a girlfriend. :cry
Granted. This is Charline. Charline, Madd. :) *leaves quickly*
I wish I could create an infinite amount of plastic forks with my mind.
Granted. However, due to a strange fluctuation in reality, they all come out as spoons.
How, ah, ironic...
I wish I could figure women out...
granted. You now are a woman. :doh
I wish that Qemu, the free computer emulator, could emulate PowerPC computers (i.e. macs) better than it does right now.
granted, however 300 years has past, and I'm sure you have other things on your mind...like maggots.
I wish for an apricot.
granted; It has my brain-maggots :mwaha :mwaha :mwaha
I wish that I had an iPhone or iPod.
Granted, But soon later it is taken from you after you are pulvrized by people who live in a dark alley and love to pawn stuff thats well worth it and they had big huge burly bats and guns.
I wish Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim where dead
granted but not their zombies stalk you in search of revenge.
i wish that i had some way to avoid mindless zombies. especially the kid that want to eat me.
Granted, but you can't avoid the zombies that have kept their cognitive abilties.
I wish I could rid the world of fleas.
granted, unfortunately fleas still exist, however as they now have 15% lice DNA they are referred to as chimera.
I wish I had a car that didn't require gas to operate, and was environmentally friendly.
Granted, you now have a solar powered car that tops out at 15mph, and those batteries for night driving, while completely environmentally safe, give you only a couple of hours of driving time, and their weight puts the car's total weight over most federal road weight regulations.
I wish I could be mentally healthier.
Granted, you are now Stephen Hawking, a genius of astrophysics and a morally clean and upright man ...stuck drooling in a wheelchair due to poor physical health.
I wish a galactic overlord would come to Earth and remove every last human being from the planet and put them in a suspended animation void. While the humans are frozen in the moment they were taken, the planet's fauna and flora continues to live on among the leftover cities and buildings for 5 years before the overlord would release the people, place them back on earth, and restart time so they continue what they were doing 5 years ago without them ever knowing.
granted. five years later, humans discover faster than light travel and do the same thing to the alien race just for kicks.
I wish to have a working, reliable, instantanious, easily activated, easily programmed method of time travel.
granted but it runs on windows and is forever getting viruses from poor security.
i wish i have started the Linux revolution.
granted, but you are now being sued by microsoft. Why? I don't know.
I wish that Microsoft would make a good, fast, user-friendly version of Windows.
Good, Fast, Cheap, Windows. Pick two. (Windows counts as two.)
I wish I wasn't quite so busy trying to keep up with work.
Granted, you now have nothing to do. You're fired.
I wish someone would kill the producers and cast of Tom Goes To The Mayor.
Granted, they're all dead but they already had 3 more seasons worth of episodes left so the show continues regardless.
I wish I was able to see a wider spectrum of colors, like how some insects see into the ultraviolet wavelength.
granted now you can see colors up to bee blue but you lose the ability to see most reds and some greens in the trade off.
i wish that the old mans upgrades to the forte body came without draw backs.
Granted. However, now you can only choose one, and that will be permanent.
I wish I had the ability to start and stop time for everyone but myself at will.
Wish granted. Of course, this either means that either you or the others affected age to bits immediately the first time you stop it, as per the theory of relativity, or that you just keep losing time while you have stopped it, soon aging away from your peers as you go, as per common logic. And then there is the problem of you stopping time for everyone, but not everything. Needless to say, this has dire consequences all over the world...
I wish that I didn't actually need to sleep at all.
granted, your life is now shortened by 26 years and those hallucinations of yours are so lifelike it's creepy.
I wish some one would re-write the ring, so that the protagonists actually have half a brain and it was worth more than one viewing.
granted but it never makes it into theaters and the only proof that it happened is a fanfic that floats around the net for 20 years before vanishing
i wish tv shows still made sense.
Granted, but now life is actually starting to remind you a little bit of the Real World...
I wish I didn't cry as often as I do.
Granted, now you just fall into horrible depressesions where you're unable to even get up off the couch. Don't worry though, there are pills for that.
I wish I could write an original national best seller fantasy novel.
Granted. However, no one reads it, it just sits on the bookshelves the book returns to the publisher to be recycled and your genius isn't realized 95years after your death and the copyright expires...Disney then makes it into a crappy movie which everyone adores, and you roll over in your grave because of how much Disney twisted your vision.
I wish for someone to look fart the shrek theme song.
Granted, it's you. And someone lights a match and blows up the building.
*deep breath* I wish that I legally owned a machine of size and weight of a normal tennis ball that on verbal English command could create anything at all within 30 seconds without damaging side-products (e.g. radiation, poisonous gases), which got it's powers from stars from the far side of the universe (that inconveniences no-one with their power usage and indeed no-one notices they vanish, and can get more than 5000000000000 objects per star), and that I can summon this machine at will (but it isn't physically attached to me), isn't sentient or alive and that the sudden existence of this machine doesn't cause or would cause anything bad or even remotely inconveniencing to anyone.
Also, nothing coincidentally bad happens as well to the planet, me or my friends and family or anything within 2 galaxy-widths of this planet called Earth, and I remember (and continue to remember while retaining my normal brain and other functions) that I have this machine and the knowledge and capability to use it.
(I've been trying to make a foolproof wish for ages now, hope someone can in here can help me further foolproof it)
Granted.
Use of this neat tool involves transporting you to another planet on the other side of the universe, swinging peaceably around the star your little tool uses to create all the neat toys you wanted. Every time. So.. if anything goes wrong, which it will, the first time you use it, you'll be the one to see it. Up close and personal.
Oh, and using the tool (even to transport yourself to where it's about to work) triggers an instability in the star it uses as fuel. It's about to go supernova.
Enjoy the view.
I wish I didn't have to use this damn time recording system at work, because it bites the wax tadpole.
Granted. Now they're just recording your every move while you're in the building on camera, including audio. They're everywhere, including the breakroom and bathroom. Aren't you glad that you don't have to worry about the honor system anymore?
I wish I had a good use for this - :shapeshifters
Granted. :shapeshifters
Unfortunately, people ALWAYS beat you to it.
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on April 02, 2007, 12:49:40 PM
Use of this neat tool involves transporting you to another planet on the other side of the universe, swinging peaceably around the star your little tool uses to create all the neat toys you wanted. Every time. So.. if anything goes wrong, which it will, the first time you use it, you'll be the one to see it. Up close and personal.
Oh, and using the tool (even to transport yourself to where it's about to work) triggers an instability in the star it uses as fuel. It's about to go supernova.
Actually, that's not too bad if I knew about the design flaw, I'd be able to make a spaceship capable of surviving a supernova on the planet that's going to be blown up. Whew!
I wish I had a more efficient heating system. Brrr.
Granted. You're on fire! Better take care of that.
I wish that all food that tasted good was really good for me.
Granted. You still get fat from it and eat too much though, even though your general health does not suffer the slightest.
I wish that I could not figure women out. Don't ask me why.
granted now you are blissfully ignorant of to the motives of the feminine sex and wind up trapped in a marriage of constant frustration and mental anguish.
i wish there were more wish that were fun to twist like his.
Granted, but other people get to them first.
I wish I could think of what I wanted to wish for.
granted you wish for more chocolate but all you get now are raisins
i wish there was a better way to explain what a drake creature of balance is. after all i'm not batman.
granted...however, until you've re-worded the wish for the purpose of clarity, your wish remains unfulfilled because the staff and management of Corrupt-a-Wish franchises Las Vegas is not willing to risk loosing the sanity of its members preforming such a miraculous feat.
I wish that the movie "The Departed" had a happy ending.
Granted. All the gang members and corrupt cops die.
Oh, wait...whups.
I wish that I had a little more foresight. :B
granted, you are transported back in time by a couple of years. That's all the foresight you need.
I wish Vista didn't suck or blow. :P
Granted. Now it doesn't work at all.
... nothing much has changed, in other words...
I wish I were a little more sensible about what to do of an evening. Or who...
Granted. You invite a couple celebrities and close friends over for tea and blond brownies. They call their friends, who call their friends... and you end up with broken chairs, a restraining order, and a membership in the Church of Scientology. (Psst! Next time, don't invite Tom Cruise!)
I wish I could find my graphing calculator and never lose it again. Without using glue, duct tape, or anything adhesive, please.
Granted its directly up your ass permently unfortunately every time its lost the medical team are left baffled each time it gets up there,Enjoy the KY gel!
I wish pirateting was taken more seriously
Granted, now it's an even more serious offense. Even the smallest report of piracy is responded to by groups of SWAT teams, Marines, and Navy SEALs.
I wish I could stop myself from reading other people's e-mails.
granted,your eyes shall be riped out your head everytime you attempt to read someone else's e-mail
i wish the world wasnt so happy
Granted. You open your eyes and you look at the state of the world. You realize that in a lot of countries that there is starvation, pestilence and war. You realize that some people have to work twelve ####ing hours a day just to make ends meat.
You realize that the world ISN'T a happy place or you just sit in your room listening to Linken Park being emo because you don't have the GUTS to actually ENJOY LIFE.
I wish I had an Icecream cone.
granted you now have and ice cream cone with no ice cream but lucky you it's earwax flavor so at least it's not a total loss.
i wish that i had more souls form my collection
granted you now have a "Souls Form" for your collection of needless forms you have to fill out at the department of motor vehicles.
I wish I had a million and two cookies that were all really tasty, healthy, and never spoil...and no giving me diabetes, or a cavity, or turning me into a cookie too nonsense.
Granted. They'll be yours for an undisclosed amount of cash, and a contract that you have to sign. After that, they'll be yours in maybe...25 years from now.
I wish my flash drive (and the brush I like for that matter) will turn up pretty quickly.
granted but the turn up water logged and half melted.
i wish that i didn't have to deal with all these problems from a simple typos.
Granted. You have to deal with them from multiple, extremely complex typos.
I wish I wasn't afflicted with niceness.
Granted. You are now a complete creep and an impolite jerk who many people say symbolizes the decline of society. Seriously, what was supposed to be good about that wish?
I wish so many civilians hadn't died in the Iraq War.
granted many civilians survived but they are sevearly injured and will die after the war
i wish i wasnt bored
Granted. You are placed in the middle of a high-stakes kill or be killed manhunt, in which you are being hunted by dozens of dangerous and unsavory individuals competing for your head, and the million dollar prize that it brings.
I wish I had a wireless card that worked.
Granted, unfortunately it only works under 1000 feet water. Too bad the rest of your compy doesn't.
I wish the media didn't twist issues to support any of the sides involved in their reporting.
Granted, now they're just blunt about it, their ratings go down, and get taken over by MSNBC.
I wish there was something good on all tv channels at any given time of the day.
Granted, but sooner or later, every really good TV show runs out of good episodes... prepare yourself for a lot of reruns.
I wish I had a better work ethic.
granted you now have the work ethic of the loyal samurai and just a hard a boss.
i wish more of a chance to test my power in the real world.
Granted, Yet everyone hates you for it and your powers become too great and you kill the first thing that opressed you
I wish I wish I never squished that fish....
granted, the fish that you tried to squish was the dreaded penderu, the fish swam up your willie and laid its eggs in there causing you great pain everytime you take a piss ...no worries, the hospital where you are being treated hired a specialist who can fix that little problem, Zedd, I'd like you to meet miss Lorena Bobbit the specialist I was tell ing you about.
I wish for the next poster to have the desire to flush the toilet and sing My country tis of thee or equivalent whenever they hear his/her name spoken backwards.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on April 09, 2007, 10:47:13 PMI wish for the next poster to have the desire to flush the toilet and sing My country tis of thee or equivalent whenever they hear his/her name spoken backwards.
"Niwsac".
Hee hee! Isn't that entertaining? Almost makes up for the fact that had to break into your house to flush your toilet with you on it.
I wish to teach the world to sing. (To sing, specifically, something other than the most irritating song I know.)
granted everyone learns the second most annoying song in the world unfortunately "this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because,this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because,this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because,this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because,this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because,this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because,this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because.....
The song is forever ingrained in the psyche of every English speaking county on the planet, and like Freddy Kruger, the song keeps coming back to haunt it's victims forever and ever, just because,this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because, this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because,this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because,this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because, this is a song that doesn't end, and just goes on and on my friend, some people started sing it not knowing what it was, and now they got to sing this song forever just because...Damn you Caswin!!!
I wish for "the song that doesn't end" to have an ending, that doesn't conclude in death.
Granted, it concludes in a massive stroke that leaves the singer in a vegetative state for the rest of his/her life.
I wish I could turn myself invisible at will, and turn visible again at will.
Granted. Unfortunately, you don't quite realise the limitations and effects, and only switch when standing in front of a William. Good luck with that...
I wish I could behave somewhat better...
Granted, but now you're boring.
I wish I had a pad of Sticky Notes that never ran out and never lost their sticky.
granted, but you get SO excited about your new sticky pad note pad that you stick them on your eyes and they get stuck their FOREVER, so you try to pull them off and get your hands stuck to them, so now your blind AND your fingers are in your eyes. How unfortunate!
I wish for free long distance phone service
Granted. Only one syllable, at random, in every three, is audible to either end. That makes it a bit difficult to hold a conversation. Or to pass data, either....
I wish... for a nice peaceful day where I get lots done.
Granted, but every other day for the rest of your life is stressful and full of annoying distractions.
I wish coffee would keep me awake for longer during the day, but still allow me to get at least 8 hours of sleep every night.
granted thanks to a new physiological change that your body goes through one helping of coffee can give you up to 16 hours are alert activity unfortunaly it's only effective if you don't go over the reccemend helping of 5ml. any more and your up for 72 hours and less and you're sleep in 20 minutes. good luck with your now.
i wish people wold stop wishing for super powers.
granted, unfortunately the world is full of superheroes and your the only one who is normal.
I wish I knew where my textbook was.
granted you now know that it is shredded mulch in the school botany lab. good luck using it.
h no i'm normal.. of wait i've never been normal with or without super powers and at least i'm not a zombie.
i wish i had a working now glitchy holo-gaming system
Granted you now have a working but new glitchy Halo-gaming system. enjoy your 60 gigabyte tower and CRT monitor my friend.
I wish for something cool to happen.
granted a meteorite lands in your house right through the roof. it destroys everything there lucky no one was home at the time the neighbors however gain superpowers because of the meteorite which they think is pretty cool
i wish i that i would always type the right thing and type it quickly.
Woot! I bet the neighbors are jealous I invested in that multi-billion-dollar Meteorite insurance now!!!
Your wish is granted you now only type "the right thing" and type it quickly, unfortunately that is all you can do after you lost the ability to move because of a car accident that put you in a coma for 6months, you are lucky you are not a vegtabel, but now you look like sailor bubba.
I wish for magic to be real
Granted. Children's party magician grade magic is real. You can now pull flowers out of your hat, long streams of tied together hankerchiefs out of your mouth, and rabbits out of your pants at any time.
I wish someone would develop a super smart computer AI that will never go insane, never try to harm or destroy humanity even in the slightest way and never try to take over the world/galaxy/universe.
Granted, however the Artificial lifeforms we use the aforementioned computer to generate are not as forgiving, within 20 years we are all replaced with Cybermen, and the only one who can save us is Doctor Who.
I wish for "Alice in wonderland" to make sense, there is no logic to the story and my brian shuts down every time I have attempted to read it.
Granted, but now it's just so BORING... and your brain still shuts down when you try and read it.
I wish there was a cheap, effective, easy to get, and that doesn't spoil or get rotten, miracle cure-all-diseases pill that is always in plentiful supply, even when demand is low.
Granted. Now the world is overpopulated, and they all blame you, for some reason.
You have to give your boxed lunch to some starving Ethiopian, who gives it to his dad, who thanks you, and drops most of it on the carpet that he doesn't have.
I wish I'd caught up on the forum already...
Granted. Your computer crashes before you can reply to anyone's comments, though.
I wish that that Point of View gun from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was real.
Granted, but you can never have one.
I wish I could be more laid-back.
Granted, you now work in a brothel, and you are currently dressed as a playboy bunny ...I shouldn't have to explain the the details of what you do for a living, on the bright side you are now only 18 and know 3 out of 4 of your babies daddies.
I wish for a fancy dinner.
Granted, but it costs quite a lot of money and your credit card is declined when it comes time to pay the bill. You spend the rest of your existance washing dishes to pay off your debt.
I wish I could find the easiest correct way to do anything before I actually do it.
granted now you have have deja vu powers and you constantly relive what ever you try to do before you do it. that's could be 10 to over 10E47 times untie you fined the easiest what to do it. the problem is you age during the use of you power which is automated. good luck getter you pension after you age 40 years for one project.
i wish i could modify my sadicism a be more so that my granted wishes were less sadistic.
granted, you witness Sailor Bubba getting it on with your momma, and you are you were so horrified, your mind created a second personality to cope with the situation.
I wish for good things to happen.
Granted. They just don't happen to you.
I wish I could understand my wife more often.
Granted. You undergo a sex change, because the only way to understand women is to be one.
I wish I was a cyborg.
granted but you get a virus and shutdown and can never come back to life
I wish i had dollar for candy
granted, however the dolor is composed of the four quarters of your soul, additionally the candy chips a tooth and the quarters eventually wind up in the possession of the tooth fairy. The tooth fairy uses es you as her unholy minion forcing you to give children cavities whenever they see you... apparently the tooth fairy has a lolicon(?) fetish and has transformed you into the most adorable little girl/critter on the planet.
I wish to learn the secrets of ancient medicine.
Granted. But, along with the medicine, you learn all kinds of secret anchient voodoo techinques, forbidden curses, ect., and everyone on the planet hunts you down to the ends of the earth for witchcraft.
I wish my mom wasn't so uptight about the video game shooters that I like.
Granted,Your mom now burns them all into a single pile of ashes that where your games.
The plus side she aint so uptight anymore. Shes become a big bitch about it.
Wish I had more time to do what with at the moment
Granted. Now she's willing to let you play, but only if she can play too. And she beats you, every time.
Even if you've spent weeks practising, and she's only playing the game the first time.
Oh, and all your friends deride you over your geeky Mom. Not to mention you get very little computer time, since, after all, she's spending all her time playing games, now. And you don't get any meals, either, being forced to subsist on mouldy bread and stale cheese (and you've discovered you don't even like cheese).
(Come on, turn me into a woman? That's not a corruption, that's a blessing. I'd never get out of bed, spending all day playing with my boobs... :-] )
Damn you, Zedd. :-P
Ok. Zedd, you now have all the time you want to do things. However, you now also have nothing to do, and you've still got all this time around. You've finished all the tasks you wanted to, you've played all the games you want to, and now you're struck with ennui, bored of life, bored of everything, and are totally and utterly fatigued with coming up with new things to do to take up time. You've taken up ant farming, but they ran out of fuel for all the little tractors and are back to subsistence farming, which doesn't appear to be working, so they're all starving to death. You tried long-distance swimming, but the pool froze over. Then you tried ice sculpture, but it melted.
You're now sitting in a little puddle under the clock, with your arms wrapped around your knees, screaming "the ticking, the horrible ticking, get it away!" and trying to stuff your table through your ears, without success.
I wish I could remember more riddles.
Granted, but no one uses the ones you know anymore. Instead they use all the ones that you don't know the answers to.
I wish to know, and be immune to, the joke that makes people die laughing.
Sure. The joke is (and this is gonna, *giggle* really make you *giggle* *snort* laugh your *bwahaha* socks off) *giggle*
*cough* the joke *bwahahahahahahaha* I mean, uh, *giggle* is *bwahahahahahahahahahaha*
*dies laughing before he can tell you the joke*
(I wish I wasn't dead)
Granted, Your now undead and with this strand of your zombie life you munch down the flesh of young ones and along the ones you love and they become zombies too till your shot in the head by Ash welding a boomstick :3
I wish didnt fart so nasty like..I wish they was sweet smelled
granted...now your farts release pheromones that attracts women exclusively, you are molested by thousands...of lesbians, your now called Zelda and are living on the countryside with your new wife Rosie O'Donnell, you adopt hundreds of children and Donald Trump is the only thing you have to worry about.
I wish to become wealthy, and for my wealth to accumulate and never be seized by the government. Additionally it cannot be burned.
Quote from: GabrielsThoughts on April 24, 2007, 05:27:40 PM
granted, you witness Sailor Bubba getting it on with your momma, and you are you were so horrified, your mind created a second personality to cope with the situation.
I wish for good things to happen.
gahh sailor bubba and Doc wily? no wonder there are so many me's in my head.
granted but you are assassinated by those that want to seal your wealth and remember what they say you cant take it with you not that it would do you and good where you happen to be headed
i wish i could remember the other eternals.
Granted, but no one else knows who you're talking about and so you're locked up in a loony bin for "seeing invisible people".
I wish to create a system that is completely idiot-proof.
Granted. Nobody can figure out how to use it, and it gets scrapped.
I wish I could concentrate on work.
Granted, but now you can't concentrate on anything else. You become an extreme workaholic and lose all your friends and the love of your family. Nice going.
I wish all my equipment was provided by the highest bidder instead of the lowest bidder.
Granted. Despite this change, there is no noticable quality difference in your equipment.
I wish I could skip out on the stupid Exuviae thing without lying, dying, or getting a permanent disability.
granted you've been kidnapped and will never see your friends or family.but on the bright side your not going to that thing.
I wish the DMFA characters were real
Granted, But DP comes back to life at the last moment and kills you and eats your insides.
I wish I had a chance to read Ambers mind half the time when its needed and she was my friend
granted, however you didn't specify which Amber, half the time its Amber the monkey and the other half of the time it's amber the fish, unfortunately Amber the fish only has a 2 second memory, and you become immediately annoyed with her questioning, and amber the monkey's desire to throw poo at people has affected your social life.
I wish I had absolute control over time.
Granted, but now you're constantly harassed by people who know of your power and want to relive a year or fix their past, not to mention everyone keeps on hassling you around New Years. Remember kids! Playing God rarely leads to happiness.
I wish I could crawl on the ceiling like Spider-Man.
granted, you are now a spider, and you are under a bed creeping Abel out with your poetry, while Fa'lina is attempting to squirrel him out from under the bed ...moments later you are nothing more than bug juice.
I wish someone would buy me movie tickets to see Spiderman 3 in IMAX 3D as I suspect that would be awesome.
Granted. However, the seeing is cancelled due to lack of popularity - since everyone else heard that you got tickets, they refused to go to that seeing.
Look on the bright side, though - nobody told you, so you spent two hours in a darkened theatre watching the spiders in the corner making a web, before the cleaners came through and swept them up.
I wish I had more time to spend with my wife.
granted, you are now un-employed. thus giving you more time to listen to your wife nag you about getting a job.
I wish I was more popular.
Granted. You are now Llearch. (You didn't specify if you wanted good poularity or bad!)
Here's one I don't think anyone here will want to corrupt, but I am almost certainly wrong...
I wish that all the furry fans in the world could unite and go to a place where they could be any kind of furre they imagine themselves to be, and that the world would accept them and they could live in peace.
Granted. The world is set into a parallel universe much like that of Kingdom Hearts. So, the world is peaceful so long Heartless and Nobodies come from elsewhere.
I wish for a decent furry game would be developed.
Granted. It, like Furcadia, is soon overrun with babyfurs, perverts, and out and out weirdos.
Look on the bright side. I -was- going to say Second Life...
I wish I was just a little bit nastier, sometimes.
Granted. Unfortunately, you've managed to achieve such incredible skill in sarcasm and snarkiness that nobody can tell the difference.
I wish I could focus better.
Congrats you are now presepter! One the weakest autobots! Have your good moments almost blown to bits yet least you can focus on things alot more!
I wish I found a way to be more thinner without pain or cutting me open or make me spill alot messy fluids and yet manage to live as a person!
granted your entire midsection implodes till it's nothing but your spine wrapped in skin. good luck finding a date.
i wish the table saw in our shop wasn't possesed by satan
Granted, now it's possessed by Loki.
I wish I had a set of clothes that I could never grow out of and that never goes out of style.
Granted, your straitjacket is on the way and will be delivered by those nice young men in the clean white coats...
I wish... Hmm. Now, here's a tough one. What to wish for... Ooo! I know! I wish I ... no. Already had that one. Uh... Oh, yes. I wish I was better as an admin. Yes, that's a safe wish. Nobody can corrupt that, can they?
... can they?
you'd think that wouldn't you?
Granted but you be come SO Good at being and admin that you become a threat to all the other admins and the begin to resenting you. it doesn't end there though as you admin ability grows the to exclusion of all other thing and you become little more then a forum admin robot... wait did some one beat me to this wish?
i wish i had less down time.
Granted. Now you're duct taped to the ceiling.
I wish for a nice little house in the country.
Granted. The house is the size of a thimble, somewhere out in what used to be the Sahara. Good luck finding it.
I wish people weren't so incompetent with their computers, but still have a need for a highly paid tech support person, and that person would be me.
Granted, you now work for Best Buy's elite force of Computer technicians known as the Geek Squad, people are so competent that the only time you get called out is when there is a real emergency. but hey, you work on commission now; and, while the hourly rate is three times what you earn now, the few people that call you only need your skills for about ten minutes, additionally there are so few clients you are making less than minimum wage. Enjoy your freedom.
I wish I was the best writer in the world.
granted you are now the best writers on Jupiter but that doesn't help you on earth or in furea
i wish that i'd taken more time to let people know the origin of my physical self in this shared web world.
Granted. Your description of your character becomes a giant wall of text that no one can read.
I wish I had more to talk about with my friends. :T
granted, you and your friends talk about nothing in particular and you get bored, unfortunately all to soon you come to the realization you can talk about nothing else.
I wish for my I-cybie to get an upgrade that will make it comparable to Aibo.
geanted. FATAL ERROR FATAL ERROR !
i wish it wasn't so damn hard to fing someone to play magic with
Granted, but you get so good that they don't want to play you anymore.
I wish I could be more alert during the day and sleep better at night.
granted. you start takeing trucker pills to stay awake and night time pills to sleep. the shock on your body makes you look like a crack addict so you are arrested.
i wish i were a super hero called STUPOR MAN
Granted, but your super power is to put yourself into a stupor... which doesn't really help you when fighting crime, now does it?
I wish I could get a patent on an idea that will get manufactured, make me millions of dollars a year, and never ever get old or stop selling.
Granted. You die the next day.
I wish I had more time at home with my son.
Granted. You're now unemployed and become a "Mr. Mom".
I wish I had a son that would grow up to be the very best president this country has ever known.
Granted, Sadly the chinese,japanese or korean raise a brow to this and kill him cause the asian goverments is so scary that way.
I wish found ways to build a prop TARDIS
granted you make the prop out of a slightly used port-o-potty that you found. It smells like ass but the interior is the more spacious than a double wide...unfortunately you lost the key and now people in the mental asylum look at you funny.
I wish to become the greatest movie director ever.
Granted, but when your movie comes out, going to the theater has become completely socially unacceptable, and since they've pretty much cracked HD-DVD's and Blu-Ray your movies are are now floating around in P2P networks for free. Kinda hurts your profit margins huh?
I wish there were no internal politics in mainstream sports.
Granted. Sports is now an integral part of politics.
EDIT: I'm changing my wish.
I wish that death or a similar state of unconciousness wasn't a possible way to achieve a cliffhanger. I get that it's a powerful tool, especially for those good in art or writing, but still... :cry
Granted, now all cliffhangers end up being like the ending of PotC2. And we all know how everyone felt about that. (http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=204)
I wish I had more funny and relevant webcomic references to put in my posts.
Granted, the entire database of onlinecomics.net, comicgenisis, DrunkDuck,Smackjeeves,and Google gets uploaded into your brain, unfortunately more than 95% of the comics and Manga consist of porn. This causes you to experience several orgasms in succession, like most males experiencing an orgasm you've stop breathing. luckily, You died with a smile on your face and blood trickling out of your nose
[a/n: Personally I've never had an orgasm, but apparently it is the leading cause of college age deaths among males in the United States. Appearantly they ones who die, forget to breathe while playing...er reading the articles in magazines filled with pictures of nude models.]
I wish for unlimited power and control over Las Vegas.
Granted, but remember, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. This comes true as you immediately abuse your power and then in a moment of inattentiveness, you're taken out by a rival who in turn will later be taken out by a rival, and so on and so forth in that fashion. Eventually the government decides that it's all more trouble than it's worth and turns Las Vegas itself into a test site for small scale nuclear weapons.
I wish I could be an admin for a popular webcomic forum.
Granted, however your tyrannical use of the Admin powers causes everyone to leave the forums and the comic quickly becomes unpopular.
I wish I was not allergic to alcohol. (A trait I inherited from my father)
granted but you are so joyous that you go celebrateing and drink way too much you die smelling like a bad stereotype.
1 VV15l-l 1 l-l45 l)4 lVl4l) 1337z0l2 5l<1llz
Granted. Unfortunately, nobody else can read your elite code, and you die unappreciated by any of your peers.
... and living in a cardboard box by the side of the road.
I wish I was a little less abrupt with people who wasted my time. (no, not you, lucas.)
granted, No one knows the meaning of abrupt, therefore you can neither be abrupt nor less abrupt...and now everyone wastes your time.
I wish for lots of free stuff.
Granted. You own, and live in, a garbage dump, and every day garbage trucks come by and give you free "stuff".
I wish it were possible Droids to be Jedi, instead of an endless parade of meatbags.
Robot+Lightsaber+Force=OWNAGE.
Granted, but they don't have the ability to be either good or evil and so they all stay neutral and either get killed off by the dark side for being useless or employed by the light side to do menial tasks.
I wish to see an amazing lightsaber duel between giant statues of all four of the presidents in Mt. Rushmore.
Granted, but the massive electromagnetic fields produced by the massively huge lightsabers that the statues use completly disrupts all communications and defensive countermeasures in the US, and all of our enemies in the world, seeing our weakness, come and bomb the shit out of us, leaving America nothimg more than a blackend wasteland. The statues are also smashed to rubble. And before the bombing started, on of the statues steped on you, cuz you had to have that front-row seat to get the best view of the battle.
I wish that Metal Arms: Glitch In The System did a little better with the story, i.e., actually making use of the plot device that Glitch was (supposedly) a Morbot, not a Droid or a Mil.
granted but you are hit by a system killer virus and we'll it's a sad sad thing.
i wish for more reboot related names on this forum.
Granted. The number of Reboot-themed names increases to he point that it's become a cookie-cutter name with no originality. And sadly, it comes to reflect the posters who picked those names (unimaginative, mostly).
I wish hay fever wasn't so strong. >_>
Granted, and since it's not so strong it can be cured easily... unfortunately a supermutant strain of the flu took it's place.
I wish I could always roll critical successes in every attack and skill check in D&D without using loaded dice.
Granted. You'll still be accused of cheating, so someone else has to roll for you.
I wish Philosophy class wasn't such a drag.
Granted, you receive the power of enlightenment when you realize the class is all about learning the difference between Spiritualism, Materialism, and Discovering the question to the nature of reality, because the mice are curious to know why the answer is 42.
I wish for knowledge of all the events that will transpire within the next 30 years.
Granted, and the very next thing that happens is that you're in a completely unavoidable and terrible car accident that leaves you a deaf-mute paraplegiac with broken hands so you can't even use one of those teletype things, so all you can do is sit back and watch it all happen.
I wish I could change the moods and emotions of individual people at will.
granted, Unfortunately a mad scientist has decided to use you as part of his body swapping research...guess whose body your switched with, MINE! enjoy the next 30 years of my life, I'll be enjoying every minute of yours.
I wish I could find anything lost.
granted but you lose everything you find moments later. ah well.
i wish i have seen all of the mini arcs including the one on fashion that i missed half of.
Granted. However, you forget totally the plot, and don't even realise that they're over in the Demo 101 page.
I wish I was a little more helpful.
Granted, but then everyone starts shouting "POD-PERSON!" at you and then clubs you to death.
I wish the bad points of Mac's outweighed their good points and the good points of PC's outweighed their bad points.
granted, however a new computer developed from alien technology borrowed from area 51 replaces PC's and Mac's leaving you wondering why everyone disapproves of human tech.
I wish for a robot monkey that I can control with my mind.
Granted. The downside to controlling the monkey robot with your mind is that your mind is actually transferred to the robot. Your real body just sits that glazed like a zombie. Did I mention the robot's defunct?
I wish my work for Gen. Studies would be over already.
Granted, but you rushed it, and since you rushed it you did an awful job so... :youfail
I wish for an end to spam in all of it's forms.
Granted... but now there are more magazine advertisements than ever before... In fact, magazine articles are just endless ad space. (Whether MAD will be spared is unconfirmed.)
I wish I was better at chemistry.
Granted. This kind of chemistry you become better at really just applies to bakery. (probably isn't that much of a corruption, is it? :B)
I wish I didn't have such strange thoughts when I'm tired. (ex. fascination with tears)
Granted, now all your strange thoughs happen when you're wide awake and interacting with other humans, and the strange things you bring up for no reason makes people start to edge away from you veeeery slowly.... :paranoid
I wish I lived in the Starcraft Universe. (Being a Protoss or Zerg instead of a Terran would be fine)
granted u now live in the starcraft universe as a zerg but you got killed a little while after birth
i wish i had a sack of potatoes to hit people with
Granted, but you end up smacking someone who whished for an M-16 Antitank Rocket Launcher and he blows the s**t outta you and your whimpy sack.
I wish that virtual reality (i.e., your mind inside a computer, or the game inside your mind, that kind of VR) gaming WAS a reality.
granted, unfortunately your mind becomes trapped in a simulation game for twelve hours, but because of the time displacement experienced in the mind to you it was more like twelve months.
I wish I could fix anything with a roll of duck tape, like Macgyver.
Granted. You're immediately arrested for "fix"ing cats, on a "cruelty to animals". *wince*
I wish I was wearing fishnets.
Granted, you are now an underpaid cafeteria worker (fishnet hairnet).
I wish to have complete control over a giant robot in the likeness of Abraham Lincoln, and that he'll explode upon my imminent death, which would take out half the planet.
Granted. You're also stuck on Pluto with it, where you won't hurt anyone, even if you try. Admittedly Pluto isn't, technically, a planet anymore, but the Asteroid Belt is already blown up, so...
I wish I could play the banjo like this.
Granted. I didn't see what you meant by "like this," so... you can now play the banjo with your nosehair. This could've been a better corruption...
I wish I could be on the show "House" without dying or losing any organs.
Granted. You're the janitor cleaning up after someone else lost organs. All over the floor. And the walls. And the ceiling. And the equipment. And...
Congrats. You've got 20 minutes to get it all clean for the next episode.
I wish I had more Pink Floyd to listen to.
(was that a better corruption? :-)
granted, you now have a pink alien named Floyd who sings to you every night.
I wish I was no longer in jail for fixing cats with duct-tape.
Granted. Now you're on the scaffold. :-]
I wish I hadn't "fixed" the noose, either....