2013/10/21 [Matilida #32]--More sad, and I want to hug them all

[killpurakat]

I was frowning and holding back my emotions after reading the first panel, but my eyes were teared-up because of that last one. I... yeah, I don't know what's happening, but it seems clear the siblings and father all loved each other and this new development, even though I knew it had to happen, is very much making me feel for them.

Amber, please update soon to get past the sad! 

[joshofspam]

Very sad and it hits me kind of hard.

I'd like to give Matilda the benefit of a doubt there's a good reason for her lying about her brother, but it seems to be leading to something dark on her part in their past.

This isn't looking good for their brother or their sister from the things we've seen thus far of her and her culture.

[Nino]

This story really took a turn for the unexpected. I can never see these twists coming. My guess is that her brother really did do something bad later on and because of that it tainted her view of past events that he was in to cast him in a worse light. This seems like a phenomenon that's actually pretty common. I's so easy to interpret what someone says or does if you feel positively or negatively towards them than if you were neutral, and this can retroactively apply to memories of them too. It's happened to me with a supervisor I ended up holding in very low regard - I realized it influenced how I interpreted her past behavior in certain situations so it was different than what I had thought at the time. It can be tempting to want to exaggerate someone's actions or what they said too when emotions like that are involved.

The only other explanation I can think of is that maybe Matilda was exiled for a different crime and she's fibbing to cover it up or that there's something about her culture or tribe she wants to hide so she's changing her story to omit certain details (although since everything she's saying seems to match the events so far besides things directly related to her brother I'm not sure what they'd be)

[Zebra Bug]

Wow...her brother is very, VERY sensitive. I cannot picture any of the other males crying, even in private. And...I am starting to wonder at Matilda's motivations. If we did not know and love her so well from the main storyline.......I am seriously glad that this bonus story is the one that won. Because, WOW. Ambaaargh, you are the most awesomest of story tellers. Each page is a cliff hanger! Now I have to wait another week!

[Tapewolf]

This and the last page have reminded me that Matilda was the protagonist in a cautionary tale about a girl who compulsively lied and perished in a house fire because no-one would believe her.

I hope that's just a coincidence, because otherwise that opens up all kinds of possible nasties for her relationship with Dan.

[MT Hazard]

I do hope that when the story is finished the person she is telling it too will stand up and say "Thank you for telling me that Matilda, maybe one day you will trust me enough to tell me the truth."

[Netrogo]

Want more updates! Story taking too long! Want know why Matilda's brother not actually gigantic cock nozzle!!!

[Stormrunner]

No one bringing up the fact that "brother" could mean brother in law, or someone who beats her brother and becomes her brother because they take everything under him - including Matilda and her sister as if they were property?


Or they have 2 brothers - one who is not here?

Never know with Amber XD.

[techmaster-glitch]

(Haven't posted here in a long time due to...personal issues, but now I've got what I think/hope is something worth saying.)


First off, I gotta say that I'm astounded, simply astounded, that there's a couple people still are trying to find, or are hoping for, a reason to paint Heshi as the villain of this story.

From the moment he first appeared, I knew there was something fishy going on. I was amazed even then no one could see what I thought was obvious, and were insistent on trying to interpret Heshi in a way that would put him at odds with Matilda in the way one would 'expect'; the typical males in Blue Volcano society are either chauvinistic or misogynist, highly aggressive and territorial, and generally have an 'everything's about me' complex. When Matilda explained her story to Dan, that she "disagreed" with her brother and then had to defeat him in combat to save her own life, I'm sure everyone imagined Heshi would just be another typical male, who opressed her, and she heroically stood up to him. I know I did.

But nothing of Heshi's actions or attitude so far have in any way supported that. Heshi is not a typical male. When another male was deliberately trying to provoke him, he kept a cool head and simply ignored it all. From what we've seen of the rest of Blue Volcano males, I don't think any other males, save his own father, would act like that. When Matilda's father told her and her sister that Heshi would take care of them when he was gone, and would make sure they get good husbands who would care for them, I think a couple people thought that maybe Matilda's father was biased/poor judge of character in his own son--and I wondered about that myself--but I don't think that's true.

That said, I do think I know why everyone still wants to think of Heshi as the bad guy here; because our Matilda, the Matilda we all know and love, couldn't possibly have done any wrong. The Matilda we know is exceptionally wise, very independent and business-savvy, ambitious with reason, clever and witty, and just so friendly. The Matilda we know is a character I adore as one of my favorites in this entire comic, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that regard (and I also think her relationship with Dan is the best thing ever).

But the Matilda we've seen in this point in time is not our Matilda. This Matilda, "Kissriss", girlishly giggles over a cocky-sexy male, relies on others for strength, and doesn't appear to have any ambition beyond being a ranking or hotshot male's wife.

Heshi is not a typical Blue Volcano male.

Kissriss is a typical Blue Volcano female.

When Matilda was describing her story to our unknown audience, saying that her brother resented his sisters and was cruel to them, yet the comic was showing him comforting her, I latched onto that discrepancy immediately. Whereas everyone else at the time seemed to be trying to find ways for Heshi to go bad and justify Matilda's story with the idea that Heshi was putting on a false act, what I wanted to know was who is Matilda talking to that she feels she needs to lie to?

Because now it's getting to be virtually undeniable, but Matilda is not playing straight with whoever she's talking to. I think the reason why everyone keeps focusing on her brother instead of her is because no one wants to believe our sweet, wonderful, kind, intelligent Matilda could be outright knowingly deceiving someone. So, how? How does this discrepancy get resolved? How to we get from point A to B, when taking point A as the point no one seems to want to start at?

Here's what I think: (spoiler'd because I don't know how much of this, if any, might be in any way close to what will actually happen, but it is my best guess)
[spoiler]

I think that in the conflict we know will come (because I do believe that when Matilda was giving her abridged account to Dan, she was being factually honest), Matilda will be the one who is in the wrong, not her brother. I think she's going to make a mistake, a terrible mistake that involves disobeying her brother in some way.

I can't be certain what this mistake will be, but my best guess is perhaps she wants to go with that Kesserk fellow, but Heshi knows Kesserk's just a loudmouthed uncaring normal male who would just treat her as an object or a trophy, and Heshi will actually be trying to do what his father told Matilda he'd be doing. From everything we've seen, I think Heshi will look out for his sisters, and will try to do what is best for them, for their own good, as his father would have wanted. But I think Matilda will go against that. Maybe she decides to go with Kesserk, in a moment of irrational stubborn desire, after Heshi explicitly forbids her. And then she gets caught.

Well, we all know what would happen then. By what we know of Blue Volcano society, such flagrant disobedience of a female to a male is met with death. In Blue Volcano society, strength and power is everything; those who have it have absolute rule over those who don't. Everything that is powerful is associated with masculinity, and everything that is weak is associated with femininity. And so, in order to stay alive, Matilda will have to exploit the loophole where, if she defeats her brother--a male--in single combat, she proves that she is at least 'worth' a male.

Heshi would not want to go through with this. He would want anything but to fight his own little sister, anything except seeing her die anyway, even though she spit in his face when he was trying to look out for her. But he'd have no choice. Everyone will be watching, judging. He would have to genuinely try to kill his own sister, because Blue Volcano society certainly doesn't seem the type to accept pulling punches or throwing a fight. He would have to try and kill her for her own good, with his only hope being that she finds the ability or skill to overcome him. And so, when Matilda pulls off the inconceivable, and manages to tear his own arm off and start beating him in the face with it, he will be selflessly happy. Because it means she will be able to live.

I think Heshi is going to be the tragic hero of this story, and Matilda is the so-to-speak 'villain'.

Of course, there's still the fact that Matilda disobeyed him, even though she does manage to beat him. So, either the rules for males disobeying a superior male are invoked, or more likely, the males in charge don't want to have anything to do with the disruptive, dissenting embarrassment that is Matilda, they will banish her instead.

And so, Matilda will be cast out. She will lose everything, literally everything in her life up to that point, being forced out into the harsh wilds of the unknown. She will be emotionally devastated at how everything went so wrong because, if this turns out how I'm thinking it will, she made a selfish mistake. I think the time period for when she is telling her false story to the unknown audience is shortly after her banishment, because she won't be ready to confront her inner demons or accept that what she did was wrong, and lying is a way to hide from it, at least at first, because she is not yet the honest and openminded person we know. As for who the audience is, I think one of the people from that exploratory party in the beginning is most likely.

And so, time will pass. I think quite a bit of time, for some reason, I keep thinking that by the comic's present time, it's at least a hundred years since her banishment. Matilda will explore the new world and new societies, will be introduced to new thoughts and ideas, and will have to reinvent herself and find her own way, rather than follow a path set out for her by society. And eventually, after decades of soul-searching and self-reflection, she will come to terms with what happened, what she did, and be able to really move on.

Because, look at how she is in the present day. She has her independence, tempered by humility. She is pursuing a relationship with Dan, tempered by understanding. She is many things, and seems to be as close to a 'perfect' person as you can get, with her insightfulness and moral standing. Was she just 'like' that, or were we all taking her for granted? I know I was, before this backstory, because she clearly wasn't always the exceptional individual we see her as. I wouldn't have minded if Matilda was just a person who just happened to be that awesome. But that's not what Amber does, she doesn't do things that simplistically. So instead, Matilda is the person she is today because she made a terrible mistake in her past, one she learned from and used to grow into the adorable Mythos we all love. And if any of this is true, then I will applaud Amber wholeheartedly for such a powerful story, and even if I'm totally off-base, I'm certain whatever Amber does do will still be worthy of praise, as with the rest of her work.

[/spoiler]

[joshofspam]

Stuff said

Personally, from the sound of where things are going.

I wouldn't be surprised if she turned on her brother and left him and her sister in a very delicate situation.

No matter how and why she went about it, if she tore off his arm, it leaves him without an arm to defend his family and that does put to question what both Matilda's sister and brother if he only has one arm and the other males are hostile towards Heshi and their current spot?

There's a lot of other factors involved besides besides just Matilda and Heshi. But it isn't looking like the ones still in play paint a particular pleasant theme to what is eventually come.

[ChaosMageX]

I really hope that this is the week Amber promised to do an entire week of nothing but Matilda updates so that we can get through this sad part.

[Tapewolf]

I really hope that this is the week Amber promised to do an entire week of nothing but Matilda updates so that we can get through this sad part.

And if the sad part is the whole of the rest of the story...?

[ArchTeryx]

The really nice thing about this whole story arc is that it gives a little, dare I say, humanity, to the Blue Volcano tribe.

They are xenophobic, territorial and chauvinistic, but they are not, as the TVTropers say, Always Chaotic Evil.  Matilda always has made herself out to be the sole "beacon" of the tribe - and forced to leave because of it - but the divergence of story from reality shows that there's something deeper going on.

Her brother just had the foundation of his life crumble out from under his feet, and now he's the head of the household, and expected to protect his sisters.  Which is just what he's trying to do, so far.

It will be very interesting to see where it goes from here.

[Eboreg]

I'm personally thinking that the entire fight was staged to protect Matilda's life. Something went wrong and Matilda was about to get executed but her brother intentionally let his arm be taken off so that he could protect his sister. The reason I think Matilda is lying is that she doesn't think that people will understand the complexity of the situation so she just made the story simpler.

[ArchTeryx]

I'm personally thinking that the entire fight was staged to protect Matilda's life. Something went wrong and Matilda was about to get executed but her brother intentionally let his arm be taken off so that he could protect his sister. The reason I think Matilda is lying is that she doesn't think that people will understand the complexity of the situation so she just made the story simpler.

I could easily buy that theory - that the whole thing was staged specifically to protect Matilda's life and cover her departure.  (Remember, the Blue Volcano tribe can regrow lost limbs, so the whole limb-ripping thing would have hurt, but not be permanent).

And there's another reason for her to be lying: to protect her brother.  Even outside the Blue Volcano, she would be strongly motivated to tell only the story that would protect her brother and herself, if another of the tribe ever overheard it.

[Shadow_B_Panther]

I'm personally thinking that the entire fight was staged to protect Matilda's life. Something went wrong and Matilda was about to get executed but her brother intentionally let his arm be taken off so that he could protect his sister. The reason I think Matilda is lying is that she doesn't think that people will understand the complexity of the situation so she just made the story simpler.

I could easily buy that theory - that the whole thing was staged specifically to protect Matilda's life and cover her departure.  (Remember, the Blue Volcano tribe can regrow lost limbs, so the whole limb-ripping thing would have hurt, but not be permanent).

And there's another reason for her to be lying: to protect her brother.  Even outside the Blue Volcano, she would be strongly motivated to tell only the story that would protect her brother and herself, if another of the tribe ever overheard it.

Actually I was thinking the same thing, one of the reasons I made an account was to say something similar. Been around for years following the comic, but been keeping my opinions to myself. Well I guess Matilda is a good subject to voice my thoughts on.

I seen shows/series and read novels/comics where a character was painted as the a big bad guy, evil beyond redemption. Then by the end it is revealed that the person was actually protecting something precious in their own way. In one it was to make another seem like a hero, another it was to join the bad guys to defeat them subtly from within.

So I don't think she is lying because her view of the past was distorted or that she is trying to make herself the victim. But simply to protect her family. If it was staged her banishment might be revoked if it was discovered and she executed or family punished. Her brother's reputation could be badly hurt and make things more difficult for them if word got back home. Some would be adventurer(s) could try attacking thinking the Blue Volcano tribe is full of softies. So it would be better if anyone she meets were to think her brother was the average Blue Volcano male and cruel to her.

Then again I could be completely wrong. Have to wait and see I suppose.

[seikueon]

I sorta feel like yes, he's sad about his father dying.  But I think he might be more overwhelmed with what's expected of him now.  It's a lot that his father put on his shoulders.

[Zebra Bug]

@techmaster: Where did you get that? I haven't seen that many people trying to force Heshi into the 'evil' hole. I myself while wondering what is going on don't think Heshi is evil. I like him. I don't think Matilda is lying deliberately though. Memories are very fragile things. They can be manipulated so easily.

[Zebra Bug]

No matter how and why she went about it, if she tore off his arm, it leaves him without an arm to defend his family and that does put to question what both Matilda's sister and brother if he only has one arm and the other males are hostile towards Heshi and their current spot?

They can regrow their limbs.

@techmaster: Where did you get that? I haven't seen that many people trying to force Heshi into the 'evil' hole. I myself while wondering what is going on don't think Heshi is evil. I like him. I don't think Matilda is lying deliberately though. Memories are very fragile things. They can be manipulated so easily.

Edit: Danggit. sorry for the double post. ><

[Tuyu]

I sorta feel like yes, he's sad about his father dying.  But I think he might be more overwhelmed with what's expected of him now.  It's a lot that his father put on his shoulders.

Is anything different expected of him?

As far as the story has told--Matilda's father was special because he discovered their home crystal, and because of that, he and his family were shielded from normal competition. Her father was allowed to die of old age; her brother couldn't be forced to accept challenges from other males. (Which suggests that she and her sister couldn't be forced to accept husbands they didn't want, because the other males couldn't challenge their father or her brother for them.)

Now he will have to fight--like any other male.

[seikueon]

I sorta feel like yes, he's sad about his father dying.  But I think he might be more overwhelmed with what's expected of him now.  It's a lot that his father put on his shoulders.

Is anything different expected of him?

As far as the story has told--Matilda's father was special because he discovered their home crystal, and because of that, he and his family were shielded from normal competition. Her father was allowed to die of old age; her brother couldn't be forced to accept challenges from other males. (Which suggests that she and her sister couldn't be forced to accept husbands they didn't want, because the other males couldn't challenge their father or her brother for them.)

Now he will have to fight--like any other male.

He obviously doesn't have the same respect that his father had.  That's why he was getting goaded all the time.

It's a lot to put on anyone's shoulders when you decide to do things different.  It isn't about having to fight.  It's about how he has to now defend his father's choice to have two daughters--it sounds like he's going to have to actually protect them like property since that's all they are.  He may know they're better than that, but he'll have a hard time convincing an entire tribe to think different just because his father did.

It like kids being on their best behavior.  Now that their father is gone, all that saved up "bad" behavior is going to come forth.  They're going to challenge him more.  They're going to try to pursue the girls more.  They're going to make them feel bad about what "privileges" they've had.

That just because her father received all that respect, doesn't mean they will.  I think, especially, they'll get more of the brunt of it.

And yes, finding a decent husband for his sisters would be hard, based on the males' typical behavior.  Can you imagine the thoughts he might be having?  Even if he's thinking them with guilt, something along the lines of "couldn't my dad had just been normal and I wouldn't have all this responsibility now?"  And a whole lot of "crap, what now?"

[joshofspam]

No matter how and why she went about it, if she tore off his arm, it leaves him without an arm to defend his family and that does put to question what both Matilda's sister and brother if he only has one arm and the other males are hostile towards Heshi and their current spot?

They can regrow their limbs.

Well yeah, that was established as fact.

But considering what we've saw of the others and what they thought of her brother, would that be something that would have saved him or their sister from the hostile males?

I doubt the regeneration is like when SpongeBob Squarepants loses an arm. I have a feeling every second of weakness is something her brother wouldn't be able to afford.