12/05/2011 [DMFA #1268] - Orientations?

[icarus]

asexuals can still have relationships. i'm one. i'm married.
just sayin'.

[joshofspam]

Another interesting thing to add to what Mao has said about Wildy.

Her setting up Jyrras might also be similar to how her father has made an arranged marriage for her. So it might be messing with Abel might be her messed up way of deciding if Abel is good enough and reliable enough not to hurt one of her friends. Not that it doesn't help the fact to prove that Wildy isn't playing mind games, but well....

Also she has a habit of being rather physical with her displeasure and expects people to be the same. Her telling Jyrras to go ahead and hit her to get even comes to mind and her talk with her brother after words also paint an interesting picture on how Wildy thinks.

[Mao]

asexuals can still have relationships. i'm one. i'm married.
just sayin'.

Indeed. (and grats on that, btw)

I'd say at this point Abel isn't even really ready for or interested in a relationship, which kinda furthers my point.

[Baal Hadad]

I can understand and even identify with Jyrras's confusion here (I've felt similar confusion in the past)--and it isn't limited to sexual orientation, either.  It's the same for any basis of identification that uses labels: religious views, for example, or political views, or ethnicity, or race, or whatever (or even gender identity).  Because we're language-users it gets frustrating if we don't have words to describe what we are, especially if we're different from what is most common.

But at the same time, language is a construction and so we cannot be pigeonholed into specific categories with certain labels so easily, either, nor should we for the most part--aside from being false and misleading, that would stifle our freedom.  Our freedom to be who we are and to think outside the box.

As a friend of mine on another forum would put it, I am a coelomate.  And so are all of you on this forum.  That is a fact of nature, and to say you're not is to be stating a falsehood.  But who would choose to identify themselves as such, in an "I'm a coelomate and I'm not ashamed of it" way?  There's a difference between acknowledging the truth of what you are (even to the extent of not being ashamed of it, if it's not under your control), on the one hand, and flaunting it on the other.

I'm an adult male Catholic.  That's all anyone really needs to know about me--I don't feel a NEED for people to know my sexual orientation or my ethnicity or my political views or whatever else (or even for me myself to peg it exactly).  It doesn't mean I'm ashamed of any of it, it just means no one but me needs to know.  That's just my personal opinion--others may feel differently and that's fine.  And if people asked me other things about myself, I might tell them if I were okay with it--that is, I wouldn't lie about myself even if I chose not to tell the whole truth.  Some things aren't anyone's business but my own (same for anyone else, and I would respect their privacy similarly).

But I don't feel a need to reveal anything but the above, and I don't plan to flaunt the fact that I'm an adult, or that I'm male--I have no control over either.  I'm an adult because of when I was born (didn't control that), and I didn't control the fact that I'm male.  I'm Catholic not because of something I have no control over (though I didn't choose to be baptized--I was baptized as a baby), but because I've come to believe in the doctrine of the Catholic Church.  But again, being Catholic is a variable position--people aren't born Catholic, they choose to be so (or not).  I fell away from the Church and only recently returned.  No one is BORN Catholic (or not).

Point is, some aspects about oneself are by nature, not something you chose, not something you had control over.  And while you can choose whether to act on it or not, the trait itself is not your choice.  That being the case, there's no reason to be ashamed of it--but there's also no reason to be PROUD of it.  George Carlin said that pride should be reserved for accomplishments, not things you had no control over, and I agree.  Other aspects about yourself are by choice, and those are different.

But my own opinion (and it need not apply to everyone else) is that at most all anyone needs to know about you, if even that (unless some other element is somehow relevant, like you were the victim of discrimination of some kind), is age (need not be exact, just age range, really, like I said I was an adult), sex, and maybe religious views or lack thereof (I would hope that anyone with such views would feel strongly enough about them to say so because I wouldn't take offense even if they were different from mine).  Anything else is your choice whether you reveal it or not but for the most part it's no one's business but your own, and I wouldn't ask it of anyone.

Sorry for the rant, I tend to ramble a lot.

[Grey Wolf]

I think we say "Proud [Whatever]" because "Unashamed [Whatever]" is a bit of a mouthful, and it doesn't fit as nicely on a T-shirt.

Also: good point, Josh.

[bradley535]

Able's eyes are so beautifully sad in this.

[Mao]

Related note:  I don't much like Abel.  I've said it quite a few times before and checking my posts will show a long history of not liking him.  That said, I really think he's in a pretty good position to help Jy here and I really hope that this is where the story goes.  I'm not thinking that he's going to have the answers.  We already know he doesn't.  Jyrras likely knows he doesn't as well.  However, he can give Jy something he really needs here:  A listening ear and a little bit of proof/validation that Jy isn't alone in his questioning, confusion and doubt.  He may not have a 'guide' but he may just have a companion.  Something both of them could use.  Not necessarily in the romantic sense, but just a flat out friend who understands.  It'd be nice, really.  Might go a long way to softening my dislike of Abel.

Unrelated note:  I've passed out on that couch and used a turtle pillow while at it. (might not be the same one, I think she got a new one)  I warn you all now:  That is a very comfy couch.  It will trap you and make you feel warm, comfy and safe when you should really be wary of the fact that you're asleep in the same place as both Amber and Mason.  (or trying to sleep as someone yaks away, as the case may be )

I feared for my face and it's status as unblemished by the horrid stain of marker ink when I woke up.  Thankfully they didn't get me... that time.  If I ever go back I shall have to be more cautious.

[Kayriel]

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

I noticed the title of this comic. Amber, by any chance, dear Amber... do you like bananas?

[justacritic]

What do herbs have to do with this conversation?
(Repossesses your cookie with a well-placed final demand)