12/06/09 [DMFA XMAS #3] Here Comes Santa Clause, Here Co-*Grind! Crunch! Mash!*

[joshofspam]

Looks like nobody gets presents for Christmas.

Unless if Santa can take that kind of abuse and live.

Jy-Jy better make some cookies with some milk real quick here and make them extra good. Cause if he doesn't figure a way to bribe Santa, I fear that he'll have more to fear than just a lump of coal.

After all if Jyras can probably make diamonds out of coal. So Santa will have to think of something else for that attack on his sleigh.

[LionHeart]

Jyrras will probably do the repairs to the sleigh himself. And taking over the deliveries...

Turbo-charged sleigh, anyone?

[e_voyager]

Jyrras's upgrades to normal things scare me.  no thank you i don't want a diaper table that can fight an army or a Santa slay that can  destroy a continent.

[Naldru]

Okay, folks

slay - to kill
sleigh - a sled, especially one pulled by horses or reindeer

[Chaos]

^^^^

Thank you

[TheAuldGrump]

Hmmm, an epic poem some Ogden Nash, perhaps? Is Jyrras a pseudonym for Jabez Dawes?

The Boy Who Laughed At Santa Claus

In Baltimore there lived a boy.
He wasn't anybody's joy.
Although his name was Jabez Dawes,
His character was full of flaws.

In school he never led his classes,
He hid old ladies' reading glasses,
His mouth was open when he chewed,
And elbows to the table glued.
He stole the milk of hungry kittens,
And walked through doors marked NO ADMITTANCE.
He said he acted thus because
There wasn't any Santa Claus.

Another trick that tickled Jabez
Was crying 'Boo' at little babies.
He brushed his teeth, they said in town,
Sideways instead of up and down.
Yet people pardoned every sin,
And viewed his antics with a grin,
Till they were told by Jabez Dawes,
'There isn't any Santa Claus!'

Deploring how he did behave,
His parents swiftly sought their grave.
They hurried through the portals pearly,
And Jabez left the funeral early.

Like whooping cough, from child to child,
He sped to spread the rumor wild:
'Sure as my name is Jabez Dawes
There isn't any Santa Claus!'
Slunk like a weasel of a marten
Through nursery and kindergarten,
Whispering low to every tot,
'There isn't any, no there's not!'

The children wept all Christmas eve
And Jabez chortled up his sleeve.
No infant dared hang up his stocking
For fear of Jabez' ribald mocking.

He sprawled on his untidy bed,
Fresh malice dancing in his head,
When presently with scalp-a-tingling,
Jabez heard a distant jingling;
He heard the crunch of sleigh and hoof
Crisply alighting on the roof.
What good to rise and bar the door?
A shower of soot was on the floor.

What was beheld by Jabez Dawes?
The fireplace full of Santa Claus!
Then Jabez fell upon his knees
With cries of 'Don't,' and 'Pretty Please.'
He howled, 'I don't know where you read it,
But anyhow, I never said it!'
'Jabez' replied the angry saint,
'It isn't I, it's you that ain't.
Although there is a Santa Claus,
There isn't any Jabez Dawes!'

aid Jabez then with impudent vim,
'Oh, yes there is, and I am him!
Your magic don't scare me, it doesn't'
And suddenly he found he wasn't!
From grimy feet to grimy locks,
Jabez became a Jack-in-the-box,
An ugly toy with springs unsprung,
Forever sticking out his tongue.

The neighbors heard his mournful squeal;
They searched for him, but not with zeal.
No trace was found of Jabez Dawes,
Which led to thunderous applause,
And people drank a loving cup
And went and hung their stockings up.

All you who sneer at Santa Claus,
Beware the fate of Jabez Dawes,
The saucy boy who mocked the saint.
Donner and Blitzen licked off his paint.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Beings of All Ages, I think that we have found our suspect!

The Auld Grump

[Sienna Maiu - M T]

... master blaster array... 
One Santa enters... no Santa leaves 

So Jyrras is the Master, then.
Does that make Dan or Abel Blaster?
*wanders off distracted by the idea of people calling Jy their master.*

No, no, you need someone who can crank up the "oversized rampaging thug" on demand.  Dan and Abel are both too skinny (shapeshifting ability notwithstanding).

Lorenda.

It's like Janus Bond all over again!

Alright, even if it's not canon, those descriptions (Mab's enchantments especially) intrigue me and make me wish to hear more.

To Jyrras, Mab's just being a helpful Mab. To Mab, she knows what's out there.  *X-Files theme, techno remix*

Okay, folks

slay - to kill
sleigh - a sled, especially one pulled by horses or reindeer

Quoted for truth.



I've never all been too much a fan of The Boy Who Laughed At Santa Claus

[Alondro]

I've never all been too much a fan of The Boy Who Laughed At Santa Claus

*Charline grins*  If anyone laughed at me, they'd have a wee bit more to worry about than becoming a Jack-in-the-box.

*thinks*  Come to think of it... that was what that crazy kid with the insane level of telekinetic and psychic powers did to that guy in the "Twilight Zone"...     SANTA CLAUS IS THAT KID!!! 

[e_voyager]

Okay, folks

slay - to kill
sleigh - a sled, especially one pulled by horses or reindeer

one there was a pun in there. (think nightmare before Christmas )
and two Google spell check doesn't catch most wrong word errors.

[Sienna Maiu - M T]

Well here's a funny thought...
Maybe it's just Daniel, a-crashing on his roof. 

[ooklah]

Isn't master Blaster also the name of a nintendo game where you gotta go save your mutant frog that escapes for your house and you get a big freaking wheeled tank to drive on walls and stuff?

[Naldru]

Isn't master Blaster also the name of a nintendo game where you gotta go save your mutant frog that escapes for your house and you get a big freaking wheeled tank to drive on walls and stuff?

That was Blaster Master, not Master Blaster

[Janus Whitefurr]

No, no, you need someone who can crank up the "oversized rampaging thug" on demand.  Dan and Abel are both too skinny (shapeshifting ability notwithstanding).

Lorenda.

It's like Janus Bond all over again!

I'm Janus "Mad Fanda" Gibson, and I approve this idea. 

[GabrielsThoughts]

Hooray for Deathbringer! .... ok I'm going back into lurk mode.

[Tezkat]

Why didn't anyone tell me that Non-Euclidean Cthuloid Defense Grids came in rooftop sizes? Now I know what I want for Christmas!

[Moonchylde]

Why didn't anyone tell me that Non-Euclidean Cthuloid Defense Grids came in rooftop sizes? Now I know what I want for Christmas!

"I knew this day would come! Son, I'm giving you full access to the anti-Santa arsenal I made when I was a child!"

[inuhanyo]

Who wants to take bets on that Santa is actually a Fae?

I think in the Furrae universe, this would make the most logical sense given that Santa is basically a magical being

I can so see a Fae playing/creating the character of Santa Claus.   And it would address so many of the challenges Santa must meet. 

I admit, I can also see Dan having gotten recruited as a Santa helper during his adventuring years.