Started by Tapewolf, August 26, 2009, 03:43:20 AM
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on December 25, 2009, 10:51:54 AMIt's more of a slice of a story than a story in and of itself, though.
Quote from: Techcubi on December 25, 2009, 11:29:00 AMSo, he used the rarely practiced art of turning Beings into Cubi, huh?
Quote from: Techcubi on December 25, 2009, 01:01:37 PMSo, is Zephyr a one-time only character?
Quote from: ChaosMageX on December 29, 2009, 02:27:40 PMSo wait, did Daryil just perform the illegal and highly tabooed art of necromancy on that wolf succubus?
QuoteOh, and does this story take place before or after Daryil's...? (well, you know, FH Ch. 19)
Quote from: Tapewolf on December 29, 2009, 03:43:32 PMQuote from: ChaosMageX on December 29, 2009, 02:27:40 PMSo wait, did Daryil just perform the illegal and highly tabooed art of necromancy on that wolf succubus?Not as such. With her brain skewered she wouldn't actually come back as a zombie anyway. What he actually did was repair the tissue damage and bring her back to life. This as opposed to reanimating her corpse as was done to Rancid,Hannah, RR3 etc.
Quote from: ChaosMageX on December 29, 2009, 04:38:00 PMSo, if he revived her by repairing the tissue damage, does that mean that her soul was desperately clinging to her body all that time or that Daryil had a way of capturing her soul before it went on to the hereafter and that's what he meant by "her soul cried out to me"?
QuoteAlso, what exactly is a hovel or any living quarters in general doing in a shopping mall? Was that a family hobos?
Quote from: Tapewolf on December 29, 2009, 04:45:33 PMQuote from: ChaosMageX on December 29, 2009, 04:38:00 PMAlso, what exactly is a hovel or any living quarters in general doing in a shopping mall? Was that a family hobos?Here's an example
Quote from: ChaosMageX on December 29, 2009, 04:38:00 PMAlso, what exactly is a hovel or any living quarters in general doing in a shopping mall? Was that a family hobos?
Quote from: ChaosMageX on December 29, 2009, 05:20:08 PMOooooooooohhhh. So that's what you meant. So Daryil was going to play like he was devouring Jesus' soul? Now that is blasphemously funny, especially considering Daryil's tendency to cosplay the guy.
Quote from: ChaosMageX on January 18, 2010, 10:32:03 PMIs Fenholt a complete nutter, or just bloody dumb?Openly revealing his wings in front of large group of armed beings and then not directly using them in combat is by far one of the absolutely stupidest moves I've ever seen any cubi make. If he had not been killed by Jefri, he would have certainly been killed by one of the beings from his village out of fear or bigotry.
QuoteFrom the sounds of it, you were clearly writing it like he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. You stated how chose to try to dislodge a being weapon that is quite frankly much less powerful than his wing tentacles, instead of actually using the tentacles on the wings he revealed to defend himself.
QuoteI also liked how watching his comrades die around him began to chip away at Jefri's preconceived notions of his clan's divine right to purify the world. However, I felt like the snuffing of his life could have been extended with further realizations.
QuoteAt the end of the story, they had Jefri cornered, and waited for him to openly attack Dorcan before killing him in order to not kill him "out of hand". Does that mean that their code of combat follows a turn based system, like a sprite video game battle?
QuoteWas the other doberman Salomere or Mordrith that was surrounding him before he died?
QuoteThis is where a final description of Jefri's thoughts as he died would have been useful, in order to explain what in the freaking hell he was thinking. I can't think of a single logical reason why he'd attack Dorcan, unless I've missed some other delusional belief or overpowering emotion that was blinding his better judgment.
Quote from: Gabi on January 20, 2010, 10:59:20 AMYou're good at describing action scenes. I've started to doubt if I'll ever be able to learn how to do that.
QuoteI only got lost once, when "the Husky drew his sword and moved forward to block the cat from his attacker". I couldn't find any prior mention to him, so I couldn't tell who the Husky was until later.
Quote from: Tipod on January 20, 2010, 10:21:55 PMI'll always contend the DMFA-verse, whimsical as it is, would probably suck to live in since scenes like this seem pretty commonplace You kinda wonder why some more beings don't just live in total isolation from everything to avoid getting steamrolled by creatures.
Quote from: Gabi on April 05, 2010, 04:02:52 PM...I guess it would depend on the spell. Nicely played. I guess Sethir should have paid more attention to what Keaton was saying, but considering how he fell about her in the first place, it makes sense that he didn't.
QuoteOh, in the 6th paragraph there's a duplicate 'which'.
Quote from: Meany on July 03, 2010, 11:16:24 AMA couple of errors, but that's unavoidable. "It's sooo cute when the figure it out!" I believe you meant 'they'. "...help against someone as powerful than her." Again, I believe you meant 'as' there.
QuoteIn less nitpicky news! Angry Keaton makes me giggle. I wonder if she intends to 'talk' with blunt force trauma, sharp force trauma, maybe some amputation. ...Perhaps even all of the above?
Quote from: llearch n'n'daCorna on July 04, 2010, 05:25:52 AMI do have one minor nitpick, and that's that since Cubi don't usually sleep, after they reach the age where they start preying on others... why would Cass be taking a nap, for Keaton to interrupt her?