[Lyrics] Requesting Constructive Criticism.

[Rakala]

I'm working on my own song currently and would like any helpful comments you could make.

I found the key to the door of the stars in the sky// hidden deep in the pools of the orbs that's her eyes

and the path weaved a trail through the jewels of the air// and I followed my heart to my sweet lady fair

Through the danger and darkness I walked through the night//with my steel I fought to the gate of the light

In the silver moon light i found myself free//in the arm of my love ever more shall I be

Comments?

[Darkmoon]

Just moving this to the Tower of Art...

[Rakala]

Let it be known now that this is a work in progress and may change or things get added on to it.