Corrupt A Wish Revived

[Rakala]

Granted. You have to end up going to Russia, leaving your friends and family behind.

I wish for peace on Earth.

[Mao]

Granted.  It lasted for one second before people started making a mess of things again.

I wish the day was over.

[Rakala]

Granted. Nuclear Apocalypse. That'll pretty much end the day.

I wish no zombies came back from the dead as a result of my wish.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted. Vampires, Demons, Mummies, but no zombies.


I wish I didn't have to deal with this shit at work.

[LionHeart]

Granted. Now you have to deal with it at home.

I wish I had a proper wish to follow up with.

[Zedd]

Granted, Yet it's given the next poster cancer in the process!
  I hope your happy now Lion with this! 

I wish I wasn't much a jerk to everyone and was more proper

[Lysander]

Granted, but your proper demeanor advances towards arrogance making those around you become more of a jerk to you.

I with for Sacred Tears.     

[Slowtini]

Granted, but they're not as delicious as you had hoped.

I wish for the ability to shapeshift, so that I may turn my fists into toasters, and punch people.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. However, unknown to you, you were given the ability to shapeshift once, and you're in for a nasty surprise after you change your fists into toasters.

I wish for some miracle medicine.

[VSMIT]

Granted.  Although the maker rushed it, and you got a rotten miracle.

I wish that the Princess Bride movie had more closely followed the book.

[Jairus]

Granted. Unfortunately, it's the "original edit," with all of the boring political commentaries and deviations from the action. It never becomes popular, and we never get such timeless lines as "Mawwiage."

I wish Slowtini was Fastbigi.

[Slowtini]

Granted, Fastbigi looks exactly like Slowtini, and is pronounced "Slow-Tini".

I wish Jairus would swap places with Ren for one day.

[GabrielsThoughts]

agreed, no one notices a distinct difference between the two and both are locked up in a psych ward for observation because they claim to be the other... on the bright side they've been released and both are now looking for you.


I wish for box of chocolates, preferably not tainted by evil, of fungus, or some other malady that would cause my discomfort.

[Slowtini]

Granted, you discover that you are highly allergic to the packaging, and cannot open the box due to fear of your throat closing up, your skin falling off, your eyes swelling, and your tongue EXPLODING.


I wish I had some crazy awesome fun.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. But you didn't get to remember it because you were dead drunk at the time.

I wish for a trial by fire.

[Slowtini]

Granted, you are sentenced to death by water.

I wish I could remember what happened

[Mao]

Granted.  Now you wish you couldn't remember, because it wasn't pleasant.

I wish I had paid attention in high school.

[Dagardo]

Granted, all you learned was stuff that would never do you any good.

I wish I had an infinite supply of tacos all made to my liking.

[llearch n'n'daCorna]

Granted.

What use is a taco, Mister Anderson, if you don't have... a mouth?


I wish it hadn't taken so long to upgrade the servers this weekend.

[Slowtini]

Granted, it took 10 minutes, but you accidentally forgot to install the files required for the server to start up. It takes months of troubleshooting until you find what went wrong, and even then, cannot repair it, forcing you to purchase a whole new server stack.


I wish I had some delicious food.

[Noone]

Your food comes with enough food poisonings to stun an ox. At least it's delicious,... hmmm...

I wish I knew how to write in Python and Ruby.

[Slowtini]

Granted, however that becomes the ONLY language you can write in, and end up speaking in code.

I wish I had six rolls of duct-tape, some green paint, and a particle accelerator.

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted, unfortunately the six rolls of duct tape have been used to incapacitate you  by the "Green ecoterrorist organization".  The GEO plans to set an example to the world by placing you in the particle accelerator, gift wrapped. you are sitting  on top of several cans of green paint  i with the words I luv science painted across your chest. And, they're still debating, arguing rather,  weather or not it's a good Idea to use science to fear monger the populous.

I wish more people heard of the chum-scrubber.

[Slowtini]

Granted, however, you are not among them.

I wish I could get myself out of any situation.

[GabrielsThoughts]

Granted, you are now a spy, a very bad spy. You have the training and knowledge to get out of any  situation... Your Mac Gyver skills know no equal.... provided  it is in a classroom setting or written down on paper.  In practice your about as prepared as a kitten is against a werewolf.


EDIT: The truth is You could get yourself out of any situation, unfortunately you may not be able to.


I wish I had a million bagillion dollars

Granted, however, you are not among them.

Oh how I was  blessed, to not see the worst move of all time I thank you!

[Slowtini]

Granted, the government confiscates it all, the value of your country's currency deflates so much, that you are left with approximately 12 cents.


I wish I had my degree, without all this nasty-wasty college.

[Mao]

Granted.  You get it with nasty-wasty university instead and it takes longer, costs more and wastes alot more of your time and money.

I wish I had gone to College instead of University.

[Darkdragon]

Granted, but all the jobs you want to apply requires a "university degree".

I wish something exciting would happen, preferably not life-threatening.

[Rakala]

Granted. You sit in a sterilized room with nothing to do. Books can cause paper cuts, computers can cause carpal tunnel, and all these are hazardous to your health! You sit in that room forever so your life will never be threatened. You go mad from nothing to do and find entertainment from counting the imaginary bugs that crawl up and down the walls.

I wish I could have made that corruption shorter.

[Darkdragon]

Granted. You didn't grant the wish to proper specifications: that's not exciting.

I wish for something abnormal to happen, preferably not directly fatal to anything.